Lockdown
by Sanqhian
Summary: Part3: Sometimes things just never go smoothly. But can love prove to conquer everything? slash.
1. Get Down

**Lockdown  
**_A CSI Miami fiction_

* * *

**Chapter One: Get Down**

The gray-brown Hummer, the words Miami-Dade CSI scrawled on the side, pulled to a stop at the red light. To the right was a blue pick-up truck and a white sedan sat to his left. Behind the crime lab vehicle was a familiar sight, a black and white patrol car. Speed looked in his rear-view mirror at the uniformed officer, a man that had joined the force while he was away on leave. So much had changed in his time away, laid up for months in order to recuperate after the shooting that nearly killed him. The lab had a new forensic investigator in the way of Ryan Wolfe, an obsessive man that emulated Horatio. There was the new detective on the block, a Mr. Jake Berkeley, and if he understood correctly the guy had a past with Calleigh. Then there was the fact that Tripp had moved from detective to sergeant and they had a new audio-visual tech named Cooper. He hated trying to remember all the new names and how things had changed in the lab since he'd left. However the biggest thing to have happened was an investigation by the Federal Bureau of Investigation using their mole, Natalia. Speed was happy that he never got the chance to meet her because he wouldn't have had anything nice to say to her. The lab was his home away from home and she nearly brought the place down. He was happy knowing that she'd been removed from the lab and sent to spy on other people.

There had been so many changes...so many lost months.

His first week back on the job and he was happy that today, a Friday, he was finally out of the lab. He understood that Horatio was a little reluctant to let him back out into the world but the apron strings had to be cut. Not that he mind working in the lab, at least it meant that he wasn't still sitting in his apartment reading books and watching daytime television. When the others could find the time outside of work to visit him they would hang out, hit the clubs or maybe check out a new movie. But always hanging over them like an oppressive fog was their worry for him. He'd been shot in the chest, the bullet barely missing his heart and lungs. Though he'd read the reports on the shooting and the stories written in the newspapers he couldn't really recall that day detail for detail the way he wanted. He remembered the blood, the way Horatio looked at him with worry, the cold feeling that settled over his body…

Looking at the steering wheel he saw that his knuckles were white from holding it too tightly. He let the memory of the shooting fade from his mind but the ache in his chest persisted. A ghost pain, that's what the doctor called it. Still, it hurt and he found himself rubbing the spot in an attempt to drive the pain away. Hidden underneath his black t-shirt was an ugly scar, a constant reminder of how close he'd come to dying. Just thinking about it sent a shiver down his spine, could make him break out in a sweat.

The light turned green as the radio began to crackle. He turned-up the volume to better hear what the dispatcher was saying. There had been a hit and run near the center of town, any officers in the vicinity were to respond. He wasn't close enough so he let it slide as he started through the intersection. But before he reached the other side the radio crackled to life again. This time he heard the familiar tone of his boss. The crime scene was only a few blocks away. He flipped on the sirens as the officer in the patrol car did the same. People cleared out of their way as best they could but it was lunch time in Miami and the streets were clogged with cars. As he cut through traffic where he could he thought about what he was heading into. His first day out of the lab and now it was finally getting exciting. He'd been sent to transport a piece of evidence, which remained locked up in the back of the Hummer, but now it looked like he was actually going to get to do his job.

Ten minutes later he pulled up in front of the scene behind the other Hummer on the scene. Yellow crime tape cordoned off the area. There were uniformed officers talking to a few stragglers to see if maybe they had seen anything. Speed climbed out of the vehicle and went around back to get his kit. He looked at the house before him, a palace compared to where he lived. There was blood on the driveway and a body covered with a white sheet between a closed garage door and what looked like a brand new Mercedes convertible. He waved at Alexx, the medical examiner, who was putting something into her kit. The front door of the place hung open, a gaping hole that led him to the crime scene within. He noticed the smear of blood across the otherwise untouched door. Following the sound of voices he found himself in the rather high-ceilinged living room.

Delko, his best friend, turned to look at him, smiling. They hadn't seen each other all day, Speed having been sent one way and Delko the other. Now his friend was beaming from ear to ear with amusement. "Nice shirt, nice to see that you still have a sense of humor."

Speed looked down at his shirt. The solid black was broken up by the simple statement of 'I see dead people'. He looked at Delko. "My mom sent it to me."

"Your mom still picks out your clothes? That's sweet," Delko barbed.

"At least she has a sense of style," said Speed as he set down his kit. "I'm not sure what to call what you have but it definitely isn't style."

"It's good to have you back."

"So you've said about a hundred times since Monday."

He shrugged. "What can I say? I missed working with you."

At that moment Calleigh came walking through the doorway out of what looked to be the kitchen. She saw Speed and set her camera down on the table before rushing up to give him a hug. He inhaled the aroma of her shampoo, welcomed the warmth in her hug. Of all of them she seemed to be the one most worried about him. He couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with Hagen's attempted suicide in her gun lab. Last he'd heard the detective was still on forced leave because he failed to pass the psychology tests. They slipped apart.

Calleigh smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Your first scene back on the job and it's a triple homicide, how thrilling."

"You have a wonderful sense of looking at things," Speed commented.

"Let's get to work people," Horatio said as he walked into the room. "I've just learned that the missing father is a friend of the mayor. This case is now the only one we have and the faster we can close it the better off everyone will be."

Without another word they got started doing their jobs. Calleigh collected all the evidence related to the firearm used to commit the crime; casings, bullets, and even a silencer that someone had taken the time to hide in the toilet upstairs. Delko busied himself photographing the scene, paying special attention to the blood spatter and the position of the bodies. Speed spent his time collecting evidence of the bodies; fibers, hairs, and anything else that looked out of place and possibly useful. Horatio conversed with Alexx in hushed tones about the victims; a mother, a teenage son, and a five-year-old girl. The hours passed and before any of them realized it the sun was hovering above the horizon. None of them had been back to the lab with all the work the scene demanded. Horatio turned to look at Speed and Delko, about to tell them that it was time to back up and head back when Calleigh yelled from the direction of the garage. It sounded like she'd said something about a dog. Horatio and Delko started in that direction. Speed stood.

And the wall of glass that looked out at the water behind him exploded.

"Get down!" Horatio yelled as he pulled his weapon and ducked into the safety of the doorway. Delko hit the floor behind the sofa and Speed froze, his mind racing back to the jewelry store. "Speed!"

The shooter fired again, more glass broke and Speed hit the floor. People were yelling, shots were returned as the cops that had been around front raced toward the backyard. But from the sounds of things it was too late, the shooter escaping on a waiting boat. Someone yelled into a radio for help from the coast guard. Silence settled over the house until Calleigh came down the hallway, her heels clicking on the tile floor. Delko peeked out from behind the couch. Horatio holstered his gun, the color draining from his face. Speed was lying on the floor on his back gasping for air, his hands bloody.

"Speed," Horatio cried out, racing toward his fallen friend, his mind going back in time to a similar day. He fell to his knees in the field of shattered glass, his hands reaching out to Speed. The minute he touched the fallen investigator Speed reacted, pushing against the floor with his feet. In a matter of minutes his back was pressed against Horatio's chest and his boss embraced him to offer comfort and a sense of protection. The worry and panic that filled the air began to dissipate as they realized that the blood was from cuts to his hand that he'd sustained when he hit the ground, the broken glass littering the floor. Speed's own panic, however, took longer to subside, his heart racing a mile a minute. While Delko and Calleigh headed outside to investigate Horatio remained where he was holding his panicked friend.


	2. Quit Playing Games

**Chapter Two: Quit Playing Games**

He didn't want to talk about it, didn't even want anyone to bring it up in conversation or hear it while passing by an open door. This was his first day back on the job and he'd panicked. No doubt somewhere in the lab someone was talking about him, making him look bad and having a laugh at his expense. He closed his eyes, leaning against his locker. The metal felt cool against his forehead but with his eyes closed he could feel nothing beyond the slight pain in his hands. Alexx had been too kind to treat them and wrap them in bandages. She kept her mouth shut about what happened, talking to him instead about the victims. After that he'd headed over to the locker room to grab a few things before heading out. He was done for the night. Technically they all were; the state had become pretty picky about overtime and even though the case involved friends of the mayor there was nothing they could do until the morning. An all points bulletin had been placed on the still missing father. Speed figured that none of the blood at the crime scene would match the MIA dad. He was beginning to think that maybe the father had something to do with it…

A minute later he sat on wooden bench running between the rows of lockers, a hand on his chest. The phantom pain had returned. It had been with him since leaving the crime scene behind for safer territory within the confines of the lab. And as he thought about the pain in his chest he pictured himself back in that living room with the glass exploding around him, the panic making his heart race. None of his friends had been aware that he was suffering from the occasional anxiety attack. They sure knew it now. But they still didn't know about his night terrors and he planned to keep them a secret as long as possible. He'd shown enough weakness for one day. From where he sat he reached out and popped open his locker. He pulled out his coat and checked the pockets but did not find what he was looking for. Standing, he ran a hand along the top shelf, again failing to find what it was that he sought. Frustrated he slammed the locker door shut and sat heavily on the bench.

"Looking for these?" someone asked, holding an orange plastic prescription bottle out to him.

He looked up and into the blue eyes of his boss. "Yeah…where did you get them?" he asked, taking the bottle of pain medication.

"Found them on the floor amongst the glass," Horatio said as he sat beside Speed. "I thought that maybe you would need them." A moment of silence passed between them. "I didn't know you were on medication."

"Just pain pills," Speed was quick to say.

Worry clouded Horatio's eyes. "You're in pain?"

"Every now and then," he said, looking away. He was unable to look at his boss, his mind going back to the crime scene. It had only been the two of them when he got shot months ago and Horatio had been the one to comfort him, the one that kept him hanging on until help arrived. Today they both got a scare, reliving that day all over again. Of course the two of them would panic, it was only natural. But the last thing Speed expected was to find himself wrapped in his boss's embrace. He and Horatio were close, had been friends and colleagues for years now, but they'd never been in such a…he closed his eyes. "Some days, the pain is so bad that I don't want to get out of bed. The doctor gave me medication to help but it doesn't always work. My psychologist seems to believe it's a phantom pain; that my body keeps reliving that day."

"Speed…"

He smiled. "Don't worry. I can do my job, H. I'm fit as a fiddle and healthy, just ask my doctor."

Now it was Horatio that smiled, though somewhat sadly. "I wouldn't doubt it in a million years but…you froze. I can let it slide this one time. If it happens again I'll have to report it officially and they put you through tests to make sure you _can _still do your job."

"You're not going to say anything?" Speed was surprised.

"Nope," Horatio said as he stood. "The body isn't the only thing that needs time to heal, Tim."

* * *

Having parted ways with Horatio he found himself walking down the nearly empty halls toward the elevator that would take him to the ground floor. He just wanted to hop on his motorcycle and leave the lab behind. Tomorrow would be a better day, or so he kept telling himself. He made a pit stop at the break room to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. Back in the hall he popped the cap off the bottle of medication and dumped out a pill. The little white object helped to take away the pain that he wasn't sure was really there at all. Popping the pill in his mouth he chased it down with a swig of refreshing water. He was about to put the bottle of medication back in his pocket when he ran into someone wearing a white lab coat. The bottle fell from his grasp, slipping free of his hold and landing on the floor. Before he could bend over to pick it up the lab tech did, clearly reading the lab.

Speed looked at the guy and realized that he didn't know him. "Sorry," he muttered in apology. "Can I have those back?" He indicated the bottle.

The lab tech raised his eyebrows. "Timothy Speedle…hey, you're the guy that freaked out at the crime scene when some dude opened fire. I hear you screamed like a little girl."

"Can I have my property back?" Speed asked, ignoring the barbs of the tech.

"I could," the guy said, tossing the bottle back and forth, from one hand to the other. "Where would the fun be in that, though? Why don't you tell me all about the little incident at the crime scene, maybe it would make you feel better?" The guy's voice took on a whiny tone like he was talking to a child. "Rumor has it that you ended up in the arms of a man. Is little Speedle-wheedle—"

The guy never got a chance to finish his sentence. Delko had been coming down the hallway when he noticed that one of the techs was taunting someone. He had a fairly good idea who was the joke of the conversation and it made his blood boil. He never cared for the tech standing in front of him. Something about the guy didn't sit right with him and it probably had to do with the way he treated people. Being a good scientist couldn't make up for a lack of manners or respect. As he drew closer he heard more and more of the conversation. It angered him. So when he was within distance he gave the guy a good shove to the side. The tech nearly lost his balance but managed to stay on his feet. Try as he might he couldn't keep a firm hold on the object in his hand. Before he could retrieve it Delko grabbed what he now saw was a prescription bottle. He glared at the lab tech.

"Get lost or Horatio's going to find out about this and you'll be out of a job."

The guy made an obscene gesture before walking away. Speed shook his head. "How does someone like that get a job here and keep it?"

Delko smiled. "Worry not; I have it on good authority that he'll be gone by the end of the week. I think just about everybody has put in a complaint about him. He shouldn't be a problem anymore." He handed the bottle back to Speed without even looking at it. Whatever medication Speed was taking for whatever problem was none of his business. If it was important he knew that Speed would tell him in due time. "How about we got out and get something to drink before heading home?"

"I can't have alcohol," Speed said, putting the bottle in his pocket.

"I was talking about sodas anyway," Delko said. He put his arm around Speed's shoulder and they continued walked toward the elevator. "With such a high profile case I don't plan to touch an ounce of alcohol until it's over. I mean, come on, the family was on good terms with the mayor. Now that's a man you don't risk pissing off."

"If it's only soda, okay," Speed accepted the invitation. But in the back of his mind he wondered if it was the right thing to do.


	3. Boys Will Be Boys

**Note:** Is this story really that bad that nobody wants to read it, never mind actually review?

* * *

**Chapter Three: Boys Will Be Boys**

He let Delko drive him to the club. The place, Frost, was relatively new and Speed was looking forward to checking the place out. He liked to learn as much as he could about any new businesses that opened up, especially clubs, because people could be murdered anywhere. The bouncer at the door let them enter for free when he found out they worked for law enforcement. Supposedly Frost was cop friendly because the owner had such high respect for the uniformed peace keepers. And it never hurt to have a few law enforcement personnel in your club just in case someone decided to start a fight. As he followed Delko through the crowd he took in the atmosphere. The walls had been painted an ice blue and the floor was a shade darker. The lights that colored the dance floor gave the floor the illusion of being made of ice. It must have really messed with the mind of drunken people and Speed wondered if that was on purpose. They stopped at the bar, made of bullet-proof glass to look like a giant block of ice, and paid for their sodas. Now they just needed to find Calleigh somewhere within the mass of dancing and withering people.

Passing by a pair of chicks making out Speed wondered if maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. It was a Friday and they had a high profile case which meant that they would be working through the weekend. He should have been at home trying to catch a few hours of sleep, not threading through a crowd of people that danced hypnotically. He thought about just setting his drink down on an empty table and heading back out. He could call a cab to take him back to the lab where he could hope on his motorcycle and head home. But that meant ditching Delko who'd given him a ride and paid for his soda. Plus this was his chance to return to normal. His doctor was good at stressing that he needed to spend more time doing the things that he used to do, that he needed to get his life back to normal.

But had his life ever been normal to begin with?

He sipped his soda and looked up to catch Delko waving at someone. His eyes followed the direction of Delko's gaze to find that Calleigh was seated at a table with two other people. It wasn't until he got closer that he realized it was Ryan and the new tech guy, Cooper. He didn't really know either one of them. Ryan had not been in the lab much that week as crime scenes were worked. And Speed was kept busy with testing trace evidence that he didn't make it to the audio-visual room. Now it looked like his night with his two friends was going to be whole lot less fun. Still, he would make the best of it. Calleigh gave him enough time to set down his drink before getting off her stool to embrace him for the second time that day. Usually he didn't care for all the hugs and whatnot but if it made her feel better than he was willing to put up with it.

"I'm so glad you decided to join us," she said, her smile as bright as any spot-light. "Maybe I can get you out on the dance floor."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Speed commented, sliding onto the last remaining free chair. He found himself sitting between Ryan and Delko. He quickly reintroduced himself to Ryan and Cooper just so that he could feel he knew them somewhat. Cooper quickly launched into a conversation with Delko and that's when Speed realized that his best friend had been spending free time with other people. The hours that Delko spent at his place in the last few months were few and far between and now he believed he knew why. And it hurt. But what could he do about it?

Calleigh asked him to dance and politely declined, muttering something that he knew none of them could hear. Turned down by him she moved on to Ryan and didn't even give the poor guy a choice, just took hold of his hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor. Cooper and Delko remained deep in conversation. Speed felt like he wasn't even sitting there, like he was dreaming the whole thing or a spectator that could watch but not interfere; like the dude in _A Christmas Carol_. He sighed, wondering when his life had come to this point. His friends had found other people to fill their time and his job made him panic. Maybe it was time to move on; perhaps he would finally return home and deal with the past that he always tried to run away from. He knew that his mother would be happy to see him and he had to admit that he missed her. When had he last gone home? Sure they'd been down to see him shortly after he'd landed in the hospital but even they couldn't stick around forever. They were retired and money wasn't just growing on trees for them. He polished off his soda and told Delko that he was going to get another one.

Taking the empty glass he headed for the bar. He left the used glass on the bar top before heading for the door, pulling his cell phone out of his back pocket.

* * *

He grabbed his bag, headed out of his apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. He opted to take the stairs instead of the elevator using the few flights as an early morning exercise. When he stepped outside the bright sunlight greeted him and made him thankful that he had grabbed his sunglasses. Waiting for him behind the wheel of a company Hummer was his boss. Horatio didn't say anything to him until he closed the passenger door.

"I saw your bike in the parking lot this morning and thought maybe you were in early," he remarked, pulling out of the parking lot. "I'm glad you called me."

Speed looked out the window instead of at Horatio. "I went out with Delko last night but…I don't know, I felt like I was a fifth wheel or something. When I decided to go home I figured it would be best to just hit the hay instead of having someone drive me to the lab and then having to drive home." As an after thought he added, "Thanks for coming to get me."

"No problem," Horatio responded.

They spent the rest of the ride in silence, the radio crackling only once and it was a call about an attempted burglary on the other side of town. Speed wondered what was on Horatio's mind as he drove toward the lab. Here it was a Saturday morning and they were going into work. When he took the job all those years ago he knew that it would require he work on weekends when cases popped up near the end of the week. He'd actually been looking forward to it. The more time he spent on the job the less time he had to sit in his apartment reading books. The less time he had to sit and think about what he'd left behind, what he was trying to forget. Nobody, not even Horatio, understood why he'd moved to Florida for a job dealing with dead people. He was hoping that nobody ever found out. Some secrets were meant to stay buried forever.

Horatio pulled the Hummer into the crime lab parking lot. A ray of sunlight reflected off of Delko's pick-up truck and Speed felt a numbing sensation in his stomach. How pissed off was Delko going to be at him? Would he choose to make a scene or say nothing at all, just brood in silence? Speed found that he was somewhat reluctant to get out of the Hummer and find out. He was thinking that it would have been better to stay at home, maybe call in sick. But that could have had unspoken consequences after his little freak out from yesterday. No, as much as he didn't want to confront Delko, he was going to have to do his job. This was one of those cases where all hands were on deck.

He managed to get to the locker room without seeing Delko and into the Trace Lab without running into him. From that point on he let his mind and his focus be entirely consumed by the work he was doing. From yesterday's collection he had a lot of bags to go through, tons of tests that needed to be run. One little insignificant piece of evidence might just break the case. After about an hour of listening to the machines buzz and whir he grabbed his headphones and put them on. Music cut out the rest of the world and left him with the scientific aspects. Today he'd decided to listen to some new group that he'd heard on the radio. The CD had come out just the other day and he'd picked it up on his way home from the lab. So far he liked what he was hearing. They had an interesting sound to them.

Between his music and his work it was like the rest of the world wasn't there.

That was until Delko walked into the room. At first Speed didn't realize that he was there because he had his back to the door and his headphones on, bobbing his head in time with the music. When he turned around, a piece of paper in his hands, he saw Delko just standing there and it startled him. He dropped the paper, happy that he hadn't been holding a vial of evidence. Pulling off his headphones, shutting off his Ipod, he bent down to retrieve the test results he'd been reading over.

"Something I can do for you?" he asked.

"You know why I'm here," Delko replied. "Why did you just leave last night without saying anything to anyone? I thought that maybe something had happened to you until the bouncer told me that he saw you climbing into a cab. What kind of friend just ditches without a word?"

"What kind of friend invites someone along only to act like they're not there?" Speed shot back. He'd been hoping to avoid this but apparently that wasn't going to be possible.

Delko looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "What the hell do you mean?"

"Oh I don't know. Calleigh goes off dancing with Ryan and you sit there talking to Cooper like I'm not there," he explained. "I figured you wouldn't notice I was gone."

"But I did notice," Delko said. "And it hurt to think that you would just leave without saying anything."

"I'm sorry, Delko. But how do you think I felt sitting there like I was invisible?"

"Get over it, Speedle. You weren't around, things change, people change."

Speed decided that he didn't want to listen to this anymore so he headed for the door, brushing past Delko as he went. "I see that," he muttered, not even bothering to look back. He let the door close between them.


	4. Every Time I Close My Eyes

**Chapter Four: Every time I close my Eyes**

They were back at the house to see if maybe they'd missed something. And within an hour or two they hoped to try recreating the scene. Speed found himself standing in the living room where the glass still littered the floor, the sun making the shards sparkle like millions of tiny diamonds. The only thing ruining the picture were those shards of glass with droplets of blood, his blood. He looked away, wishing that he was at home reading his books or watching some boring daytime talk show. Maybe he'd jumped the gun and returned to work well before he was ready for it. What was it that Horatio had said to him yesterday in the locker room, the body wasn't the only thing that had to heal? The scar was all that physically remained from the shooting but there were all the other remnants; the ones that kept him up at night. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans he decided to head out back and see if maybe he could find any evidence to give away the guy that shot up the place.

The warm noon sun was high in the sky. He wanted to put on his sunglasses but feared that he might miss something if he did. He began to scan the ground near the water's edge to see if maybe there was a shell casing peaking out of the grass or sand but the more he looked the more discouraged he became. Looking back over his shoulder he saw someone pass by one of the upstairs windows. There was no doubt in his mind that it was Calleigh. They were the only two at the scene until the others could arrive. She had said she wanted to check the children's rooms to see if maybe there was some sinister secret lurking there. He'd been more than willing to let her go. A uniformed officer was posted out front the house to keep an eye on them. He went back to gazing out over the water, then back at the ground for that ever allusive evidence.

A few minutes must have passed before he heard the sound of someone walking through the yard toward him. A quick glance over his shoulder showed him that it was the new detective, Jake. They hadn't really exchanged more than a few words but Speed was sure that detective was good at his job; after all he'd been doing undercover work. He did a background check. He did the same thing with Ryan and Cooper. The only person that was aware of it was Horatio because he'd gone to his boss about them. He didn't mind having new blood in the lab but that didn't mean he was willing to work with just anyone. They all came up clean, with the exception of Ryan's gambling problems. He made a mental note to keep an eye on the new investigator.

"Find anything?" Jake asked, coming to a stop a few feet away.

"A lot of evidence that points to animals having been here last night but that's about it," he responded, turning to face the detective. "Something I can help you with?"

Jake shrugged. "Just thought I would see how it's going. Calleigh spends a lot of time talking about you. It's almost like meeting a legend."

"Uh…thanks, I guess," Speed replied. He was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable about where the conversation might be headed.

But Jake surprised him. "I really look forward to working with you."

"Likewise." He wasn't sure if it was a lie or the truth but it felt like the right thing to say.

"I'm going to go check on Calleigh," the detective said, turning to head toward the house. "The others will be here in a few minutes."

Speed watched him go, happy to once again be left alone. But instead of looking for evidence he walked down the dock belonging to the murdered family and sat at the end of it, his feet mere inches from the lovely blue water. He knew that he was sitting down on the job and that it might very well get him into trouble but he didn't care. After his conversation with Delko earlier that morning he'd spent a lot more time on the thought of returning home. He would miss the warm Miami sun and his friends but his life needed a change. A positive change. And it had been some time since he'd last been back at home. Would he be able to visit all his old hangouts or would the memories be too much for him to handle? There was really only one way to find out; go back and see.

"Speed?"

He didn't have to look back to know that it was Horatio behind him. He sat there quietly as he heard his boss walk across the dock. A minute later the day shift leader settled beside him.

"Something on your mind?"

"I'm thinking about going back home," Speed said, surprised to even hear himself say it. He felt the need to explain. "This…I don't know anymore. Yesterday was proof that I'm not ready to be back on the job. People that freeze get shot, they could die. I've already been down that road and I don't really fancy taking a second trip."

"It's hard finding peace with the job after going through what you did, Speed," Horatio said, his voice soft and comforting. He was always so understanding. "Maybe you rushed into things. I can put you back in the lab if you want or…"

Speed looked at the amazingly blue water. "That wouldn't look too good to the people in charge."

"Who cares what they think?" Horatio inquired. "You are my responsibility, Speed. Not there's. I'm the one that decides who is fit to go in the field and who isn't. I'm the only one in charge of my team and if they even question my decision to have you back in the lab…I'll tell them that I want you to focus on the science. After all, it's the science and the tests that get the cases solved."

"Every time I close my eyes I relive that day," Speed said all of a sudden. There was no need for him to elaborate because they both knew which day he was talking about. "The doctor gave me sleeping pills to help keep the nightmares at bay but…I don't want to take them because there's a chance I could get addicted to them and my job would suffer. I keep my apartment locked up tighter than a vault in Fort Knox and always leave a light on…"

Horatio placed a hand on Speed's shoulder. "Many people are ashamed to admit that they're afraid, Tim. But fear is what keeps us alive. It keeps us from doing things we otherwise wouldn't do and maybe some people miss out on the best that life has to offer but they do what feels right for them. You have to figure out what's right for you, staying here or returning home. Nobody can make the choice for you, though. I can tell you that the lab wouldn't be the same without you. You are an amazing scientist and good at what you do. Together we've put a lot of people behind bars, a lot people that won't see the light of day again. But if you think returning home is the answer then I will support you in your decision."

Speed licked his lips. "Can I have a few more days of just lab duty?"

"If that's what you want."

"Just a few days," Speed said. "To see how I feel."


	5. Roll With It

**Chapter Five: Roll With it**

By the time lunch rolled around the next day Speed was well aware that Delko wasn't talking to him. And if he was correct, it went beyond a simple game of silent treatment. It almost looked like Delko was doing everything he could to actually avoid coming into contact with Speed. Of course, Speed found himself trying to make sense of a problem that really didn't make sense to begin with. Why would Delko be so mad at him for leaving the club without saying anything? It's not like he hadn't done such things before. They'd gone out clubbing numerous times before and if they got separated Speed would often just go home. Not once had his best friend gotten mad at him for it. Instead he would have to endure at least an hours worth of time listening to his buddy talk about his exploits the night before. The fact that his own friend wouldn't talk to him only made matters worse.

Here he was sitting in the break room nursing a soda on a Sunday afternoon. The case with the triple homicide had been joined by the murder of the missing father. Calleigh and Jake had been searching for the family's second car which had also gone missing. Little did they know that when they found it they would also find the father, stuffed in the trunk with a bullet in his head. Now the mayor was even more adamant that the case get solved as quickly as possible. Speed knew that his boss would have a nice, calming talk with the mayor about following the evidence and never rushing the results for fear of making mistakes. Apparently the conversation had worked because the mayor let up the pressure a bit. But how long would it last? How long before he was once again pressuring them to catch a killer that had left behind very little evidence of himself?

He sipped his now warm soda, his mind going back to the conversation he had with Horatio the day before. Now that his best friend wasn't talking to him it kind of made it easier to decide what he wanted to do. He wanted to go home, even if it was only for a visit. He wanted to get out of Miami and away from everyone else. It had been quite a few years since he'd been home to New York. Maybe it was time that he packed his bag and left this place in the dust. But what would he find waiting for him back home? He knew that his parents had a lot more free time since they'd both retired. But would they have time for him or would his brother be there? That one thought was enough to put him back on the fence on whether or not he should leave. His brother was thirteen years younger than him and they didn't have one damn thing in common. Hell, when they were younger they tended to avoid each other, much the way that Delko was avoiding him now.

And then there was the issue of his friend. His deceased friend, the one that he failed to help. Those memories would only make him miserable as he made his way around Syracuse.

"Have you made a decision yet?" Horatio asked, leaning against the door frame, his sunglasses in his hands. He wasn't looking at Speed but down at the floor.

"I…" Speed wasn't sure what to say. He'd been ready to head home but the thought of his brother and the haunting memories. Maybe it was what he needed. "Yeah, I think I'm going to head home."

That got Horatio's attention. He looked at the younger CSI. "For a visit or permanently?"

"For a visit," Speed replied. "At least, that's what it's going to start out as. I haven't been back to New York in years. I don't even know if I like the place anymore."

"You have a week," stated Horatio. "After that…it's out of my hands. You either come back or you leave. The people in charge have been keeping an eye on you. Whatever choice you make know that you always have family down here, Tim."

"I will," he said, not noticing the hurt in Horatio's blue eyes.

--

Horatio had left Speed in the break room with his thoughts. He was worried about his younger friend. Something was clearly bothering him, something that made him feel that it would be better off if he went home. And Horatio knew that there was more to it than the shooting. A part of him wanted to sit down with the young scientist and get him to share all his worries and secrets but he knew that forcing Speed to talk wouldn't help. Not to mention the fact that the state already had Speed visiting with a therapist at least once a week until they felt he was capable of doing his job; leaving for a week in New York would make matters worse. As much as Horatio wanted Speed to be happy he couldn't let the CSI leave the state or take anymore time off. Tim wasn't aware of it yet but Miami was his home, it was where he belonged in the long run and if he went back to New York he would only be miserable. As he walked down the hallway he tried to figure out what it was that fueled Speed's decision to leave. Then he walked by Delko, busy at work.

It was time to take a detour. He pushed open the door. "Eric, I need to have a word with you."

Delko turned to face his boss. "Sure, what's on your mind, H?"

"Have you talked to Speed lately?"

After a moment Delko shook his head. "No. We had a bit of a disagreement the other day…"

Horatio smiled knowingly. "Do you realize that our friend is thinking of heading back to New York?"

"He should visit his family," Delko said, misinterpreting what his boss was saying.

"A permanent visit…"

Delko frowned. "He's thinking of moving back to New York, why? So what if I haven't been talking to him? It was only a small disagreement and I wanted him to know that it upset me when he left the other night without a word. It's not like I don't care about him anymore. He just got back on the job. The lab finally feels like home again. If he leaves…."

"Have you told him?" Horatio asked in a hushed voice.

"No." Delko's answer was equally as hushed, his shoulders slumping. "How do you bring up something like that, Horatio?"

"Carefully and at the right moment," explained Horatio. "I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him. Let the flow of conversation take you where it will. Either it will come out on its own or…"

Delko crossed his arms over his chest. The idea of losing Speed again made him feel numb. "You…you'll be fine with…if…." He could find the words to say what he wanted.

"Tell him, Eric," was all that Horatio said in reply before he put on his sunglasses and headed back out into the hallway. He was due to meet with Calleigh and Jake.


	6. Nobody But You

**Author Note: **_Due to the great lack of interest in this story it's on the verge of going on hiatus. _

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Chapter Six: Nobody but You

Delko left the room shortly after Horatio to go in search of Speed. But he never got a chance to find his friend and patch things over. He got no more than ten feet from the door when his phone began to ring. Answering it he listened as Detective Tripp told him what had happened. There had been an accident involving Calleigh and Jake. Delko's first thought after hanging up was that he had to find Speed and let him know. But then Horatio called, beckoning him to the scene. As Delko turned around and headed toward the elevator he took a quick glance back over his shoulder just in time to see Speed leave the break room and enter the Trace Lab. He must not have gotten the call. Delko thought of going back to tell him but there had to have been a reason no one called him about the accident. They didn't want him to know. That one little thought made Delko go cold inside. Why wouldn't they want Speed to know that his friends were in an accident? Sure the other investigator was having problems adjusting to the job but if both Calleigh and Jake were fine then there was really no reason to keep Speed from knowing.

Unless they weren't all right…

That one random thought was more than enough to spend him running out of the building. It took him less than twenty minutes to reach the scene of the accident. The car that they had been driving in looked to be in pretty bad shape. The front of it had crumpled much like a soda can, the windshield cracked. Glass dotted the pavement like pieces of shattered lives. An ambulance left the area, sirens blaring; at about the same time that Delko arrived. He wondered who was riding in the back of it. As he pulled the Hummer to a stop beside another lab owned H2 he realized that there was only one wrecked vehicle at the scene. There was no sign of a second car which meant that it was a hit and run. But looking at the damage to the unmarked cop car left Delko wondering how another car could have driven away from the accident. Unless of course it wasn't a car and more of a truck of some sort. He would have to ask Horatio.

He climbed out of the Hummer and headed toward the second ambulance. The uniformed officers were sectioning off a portion of the road where debris lay scattered while a few others busied themselves directing traffic. He found Horatio standing around the ambulance where a paramedic was putting the finishing touches on a bandage wrapped around Calleigh's hand. She smiled, with a wince, when she Delko. She looked to be in good shape to him, the only other sign of the crash on her being the small bandage above her right eye.

"Is everybody okay?" he asked, just to clarify. After all, he didn't see Detective Berkeley anywhere.

"Jake was taken to the hospital with a possible rib fracture and a broken wrist," Horatio answered him. "Other than that I would say that we got pretty lucky."

"What the hell happened?"

Calleigh was quick to explain what had gone down. They'd been driving through the intersection on their way to the murder house when someone ran the red light. The driver either wasn't paying attention or had intentionally caused the accident. Jake tried to stop the car but the driver of the moving van was going too fast and there was no avoiding the collision. The simple fact that they were in the processing of stop might have saved their lives. The man in the moving van didn't even stop. He's truck may have been dented, it was hard to say since he fled the scene a second later, speeding off down the road. There was already an all points bulletin out for the truck; which Calleigh had described the best she could.

"Where's Speed?" Calleigh asked as they paramedic packed up his things.

"I don't think he got the call," Delko said.

"He didn't," stated Horatio, his hands on his hips. "He has enough on his mind right now. I'll get back to the lab and explain everything to him. Once he knows that you and Jake are fine it shouldn't take too much of a toll on him."

Calleigh looked upset. "So it's true, there is something wrong with him."

Horatio smiled in an attempt to offer comfort. "He just needs to sort a few things out, that's all." As Horatio spoke he looked at Delko.

--

He knew that by deciding to work the crime scene instead of going back to the lab that he was in actuality avoiding Speed once again. And for reasons he didn't quite understand. All those months ago when he got the call that Speed had been shot and was being rushed to the hospital his world stopped. For years he and Speed had been best friends. The other CSI had even given him a small initiation into the crime lab. They cared about each other and it was clearly seen in the way that they worked, making off-handed comments to each other to keep the mood light. They hung out at clubs when they weren't working. But that day, hearing the tone in Horatio's voice, all the moments they spent together didn't mean a thing to him. He didn't want to thing about all those times he'd been happy with Speed because it would only make losing his friend that much harder. For hours and days even, he fretted. It took Speed a few days to regain consciousness and in that time Delko must have lost ten pounds. To this day nobody told Speed how much his time in the hospital affected Delko. And once he'd gotten out of the hospital it didn't really seem all that important. He was going to live.

And it was after that realization that Delko began to distance himself. It wasn't really something that he set out to do intentionally, it just sort of happened. The lab got new workers in Dan Cooper and Ryan Wolfe. Delko started hanging around with them and less with Speed. Maybe it was because he finally realized how much he stood to lose when and if Speed died. That wasn't something that he wanted to think about but it popped into his head every time he went to visit his friend after work. So he pulled away. And he came to regret it. Now he was having a hard time trying to balance being friends with Cooper and Wolfe and having what he once had with Speed.

There was more to it than that though. Only Horatio understood how much he cared about Speed. Only Horatio understood that he didn't want to be Speed's friend anymore.

He wanted to be something more.

Shoving his kit into the back of the Hummer as the sun was setting he decided that it was finally time to head back to the lab and have a talk with Speed. The time had come for him to mend the gap that formed between them. He started it and he was going to put an end to it. He couldn't say for sure at that moment if he was going to come clean to Speed about how he really felt but he did know that he wanted his best friend back. He wanted what they once had. He wanted to be there when Speed needed him, to help him find the right path once again. And he had to do it before Speed left for New York.

--

Back at the lab he failed to find his friend. All evidence pointed to the fact that he'd left already. Delko felt a pang of guilt in his gut. He was somewhat responsible for the fact that New York looked more promising than Miami to Speed all of a sudden. Maybe if he hadn't let things get so bad his friend wouldn't have left, things would be as close to normal as possible. Instead he messed up. Grabbing his stuff, after making sure the evidence from the accident was securely locked up; he headed out into the parking lot toward his truck. There was a slip of paper tucked under one of the windshield wipers.

He pulled it free.

The handwriting was Speed's.

_My feet on the ground but I can't run. Drowning the noise inside my head. Who is this man that I've become? It's killing me to see myself. How do you forgive when deep down inside you can't forget? With all I regret…I pray for the first time in a long time that the lies fade away. Finally I'm waking up. I feel that I can finally let you go, say anything I want to say. I'm okay with being alone. _

The words didn't make sense to Delko, not entirely. But he finally understood how much his pulling away hurt Speed and it only made him feel worse. He pulled out his cell phone as he climbed behind the wheel of his truck. The phone rang and rang; Speed never picked up on the other side. That made the drive to his apartment all the more urgent for Delko. It took all the control he had not to run red lights and stop signs. When he did finally reach the building that housed Speed's apartment he took the first available spot, a handicap one near the front door. He slammed his car door and raced into the building, his heart beating frantically as he tried Speed's phone again. There still wasn't an answer. And a few minutes later, when he knocked on the door to Speed's apartment, he got the same thing. His heart sank.

He was too late. Speed was already gone.

Letting his forehead rest against the door he fought the urge to start crying. After all these months he'd finally gotten Speed back only to let him slip from his grasp once again. He took the note from his pocket, rereading the words. He went to the next door and knocked once. When the woman inside answered he asked to borrow a pen. He quickly scrawled a note on the other side of the paper, handed her pen back, and then slipped the paper under Speed's door. Hopefully Speed would return and read what he'd written…

_I don't want to waste another day because it's killing me to keep it inside. Please call me when you get back._


	7. Everybody

**Note:**_ Okay, I'll post a few more chapters, see how things go._

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**Chapter Seven: Everybody**

As Delko walked into the crime lab the next day he was fully aware that it was going to be a hard day to get through. Mainly because Speed wouldn't be there. He didn't want to see the questions in the eyes of his fellow lab rats. And he really didn't want to speak with his boss. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of the chance he'd missed out on. He thought about the note he left at Speed's apartment. There was a chance that it would never get read because there was a chance Speed wouldn't be coming back from New York. That thought sent a sharp pain coursing through his chest. What would he do if he never saw Speed? How would he function from day to day if he lost the one person that meant the world to him? It had been hard enough to work every day without him, only seeing him after hours. He walked into the locker room and sat heavily on the bench. Speed's locker was right next to his. He reached out, running his fingers over the name plate screwed to the door. Would Speed be back to use it?

"Delko," Ryan said, standing in the doorway. "Horatio wants to talk to all of us."

"I'll be there in a minute," he responded, smiling half heartedly.

"All right," Ryan said before he left.

Delko stood, his eyes on Speed's locker, his mind consumed with thoughts of his fellow scientist. But he quickly banished them as he headed out of the locker room to find the others. There was work to focus on and if all worked out the days would pass quickly and Speed would be back before he knew it. Now was the time to completely immerse himself in everything that was his job. His hands in his pockets, he made it to the meeting at the same time as Cooper, surprised to see that the audio-visual tech had been summoned too. Then he walked into the room and saw everyone there; Frank, Calleigh, Jake, Alexx, Valera, Ryan, Cooper, and Horatio. Something must have been up, something important.

"As you all know," Horatio started after Delko closed the door, "the mayor was good friends with the family recently murdered. I have talked with him nearly every hour of every day since the case broke. Try as I might to explain to him that evidence can't be rushed he's started pressuring us again, this time with threats to cut our funding." There was a hint of an amused smile on Horatio's face. "He has so generously given us forty-eight hours to find the perp and close the case."

"That's not enough time," Calleigh protested. "We're a CSI short, for one thing."

"What about the car accident?" Jake asked out of honest curiosity.

"Back burner. The cops will continue to search for the van but the evidence will have to wait until another time," Horatio explained. "I'm not any happier than the rest of you but this lab cannot afford to lose funding. So from here on out, whatever new cases come in, set them aside. All of our focus is on this butchered family. Cooper, there isn't much AV in this crime at the moment, do you think you can pick up the slack somewhere else, maybe tag along with Ryan or Delko?"

"Sure thing," Cooper answered.

"Calleigh, I need you to give me everything and anything you can find out about the murder weapons. Alexx, the bodies, where are we with that?"

The medical examiner looked solemn. "The little girl is next. The mother died from a gunshot wound to the head. The bullet pretty much turned her brain to mush."

"Keep me up to date," Horatio said. Then he was looking at Valera. "Any DNA that they bring in, run it immediately."

"Got it," she said.

"Frank, I want you to accompany the boys back to the crime scene. After the accident yesterday and the shooting I don't want to take any chances. It looks like somebody might be out there gunning for us."

A minute later the room was empty. Calleigh disappeared into the gun locker to work with the bullets recovered at the scene. Valera and Alexx went back to their respective places in the lab. Horatio went with Detective Berkeley to interview family friends again while the rest of the crew headed back to the murder house.

--

The crime scene tape danced in the breeze that heralded an oncoming storm. Delko looked toward the sky in dismay. He hated getting caught in the rain when he was working a crime scene. The rain washed away some evidence and compromised more. He hoped that someone had been out to board up the broken back windows. Once inside the smell of the days old blood hit them full force and judging by the look on Cooper's face it wasn't a pleasant scent. Delko tried to look like nothing was bothering him as he headed toward the living room, the main focus in the murder. He set his kit down on the floor at the end of the entrance hall.

"Cooper, I want you to go upstairs with Ryan, search all of the bedrooms top to bottom," he instructed as he looked toward the garage. He vaguely remembered Calleigh saying something about it before the shooting started. A glance back over his shoulder he said, "And don't forget your gloves, Cooper."

Grabbing his kit he headed toward the garage, Frank a few steps behind him. They always tried to stay in teams of two or within earshot of each other in case a place wasn't clear or something else dangerous happened; like finding a bomb or a meth lab. Delko didn't believe he would find either one in this particular house but it was nice to have Frank with him after what happened last time. He quickly filled Frank in, explaining how Calleigh had been in the garage before the shooting and how they'd completely forgotten about the place in the confusion afterward. Nobody had been back to the scene since. As he walked toward the partially opened garage door he took notice of the tiny amount of blood on the wall and the droplets on the floor. He told Frank to watch where he stepped. Something about the blood patterns didn't seem right to him, almost like they could have been made by the killer. He'd make sure to get multiple samples. With the toe of his shoe he nudged open the door.

Sitting in one corner, a chain allowing him to move only so far, was a dog.

"You guys left a dog at the crime scene?" Frank said.

"I didn't know the family had a dog. He's not in any of the pictures and I don't recall seeing a bowl on the floor in the kitchen," Delko answered. Then he thought out loud. "Why would a family, with kids, keep a dog locked in the garage and treat it as though it wasn't a member of the family?"

"Maybe the dog doesn't belong to them."

Delko edged toward the now whimpering dog. "If he belonged to the killer then why leave him behind?"

The only answer Frank could come up with was a shrug. As Delko got closer to the dog, which was now wagging his tail, he noticed that there was blood on the dog's fur and some around his muzzle. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if the blood in the hallway had come from someone bit by the dog. It seemed friendly enough but that didn't mean anything. He edged closer, holding his left hand out in front him, his fingers forming a fist like he'd been taught all those years ago. The dog strained against its chain to sniff him. They were mere inches away from each other when the sound of someone running filled the room. A second later Ryan burst through the door.

"We have to get everyone out of here," he said. "There's a gas leak. I've already called the gas company but we still need to get the fuck out."

"Well you don't have to tell me twice," Frank answered, heading toward the door.

Delko shook his head. "Not without the dog."

"Delko…"

"I'm not leaving him here to die," Delko snapped. He decided that it was a now or never kind of moment. He moved fast, grabbing the excited and scared dog by the collar and unsnapping the chain that kept him confined to the corner. Before he headed toward the door he registered the fact that there was no bed, no food bowls, not even a drop of water for the dog. With the dog's collar in one hand and his kit in the other he followed Ryan and Frank out of the house. Cooper was leaning against one of the Hummers. As soon as they were a safe distance away from the house Ryan turned on Delko.

"That was stupid," he yelled. "You could have been blown up or bit or something."

Delko just glared at him. "When everybody gets out of the house that means _everybody_."

"Guys…" muttered Cooper.

"Reckless behavior will get you killed," argued Ryan.

"I'm sorry if I can't leave a poor defenseless dog inside a gas-filled house to die," snapped Delko.

"Guys…"

"He's going to end up at the pound anyway," shrugged off Ryan.

"At least that gives him a chance to find a new home," said Delko.

"Guys…."

"What?" Delko and Ryan snapped in unison as they both looked at Cooper.

The AV tech swallowed nervously. "I just think that maybe we should leave. Something doesn't feel right. I mean…the air, it feels almost heavy."

"The dog's pretty nervous," Frank noticed, nodding at the dog. The pooch had his tail tucked between his legs and he was whining, pushing against Delko's leg. They all looked at the house. That was when Delko realized that it was too quiet. He didn't hear the sound of birds chirping and the wind had suddenly disappeared. It sent a chill racing down his spine. Perhaps it was intuition, it could have been anything, but whatever it was he knew that he had to seek cover so he took the dog around to the other side of the Hummer, the others following him.

A minute later the house exploded, debris and glass flying everywhere. Afterward they would find that a sharp piece of wood had pierced the side of the Hummer, its path cutting directly through the spot where Ryan and Delko had been arguing. They both would have been killed almost instantly.


	8. All I Have To Give

**Chapter Eight: All I Have to Give**

He didn't stick around at the crime scene. As soon as he could he took the dog and headed back toward the lab with the few things they'd managed to salvage before the explosion. The dog remained quiet the entire ride back. Delko checked on him frequently in the rearview mirror, happy that he'd been 'reckless' and taken the dog with him. He was going to take the pooch back to the lab and swing by the morgue to see Alexx. There was a possibility of finding flesh in the dog's teeth; in fact, he was hoping that there would be some. After that he would drop some of the bloodied fur off at the DNA lab in hopes that Valera could tell him more about it. Then he would see about getting the dog some water and food. As he pulled into the parking lot at the lab he couldn't help but wonder what would become of the dog. Would he really end up in the pound like Ryan had said? Delko didn't like the odds of the dog finding a new home that way. He wanted to make sure the dog would find a good home where someone would treat it with the respect and love it deserved instead of locking it in the garage. If only he could keep him, but his landlord didn't allow pets so that wasn't an option.

Jury-rigging a leash out of piece of scrap rope he headed into the lab with the dog. He expected barking and growling but the dog remained quietly at his side, his tail down though not between his legs. Needless to say Delko got a few odd looks as he led the dog through the halls toward the morgue. He hoped that Alexx wouldn't mind the intrusion. He pushed the door open a bit to see what she was doing. Amazingly it looked as though he'd caught her at the right time; she drew a sheet over the body of the little girl. He entered the room with the dog.

Alexx looked from him to the pooch and back again. "I have nothing against performing a necropsy but I prefer that the patient at least be deceased."

"I'm hoping to find skin or something between his teeth," Delko explained. "There was blood leading away from him so I think he might have bit our murderer."

"Can't you just test the blood?" Alexx asked as she grabbed a few tools and slipped on a new pair of gloves.

"The house kind of exploded."

"What?" Her eyes got wide.

He was quick to explain that there was a gas leak and that everyone got out and to a safe place before it happened. She sighed with relief, happy to hear that no one had been hurt. None of them talked about it but there was no ignoring the tension in the lab. With the shooting and the car accident and the fact that Speed was currently gone things had gotten a little tense, people were edgy and jumpy. It was like walking on eggshells through the lab. And it didn't help that the mayor was breathing down Horatio's neck and threatening to cut the funding unless the case got solved. While Delko watched Alexx check the dog's teeth he prayed that they would find something or that the blood would give them a clue. Not only would it give him bragging rights with Ryan but it would be a major help now that the crime scene was literally a pile of rubble.

"Looks like you might have gotten lucky," Alexx said holding up a pair of tweezers with something clasped firmly within them. She slipped it into a bag, handing it to him. "Here you go. What a sweet dog," she said, patting him on the head.

"Thanks, Alexx," Delko said. Then he had a thought. "Hey, I don't want this guy to have to go to the pound; would you be interested in having him?"

Alexx smiled sadly. "My husband doesn't want dogs or I would take him in a heartbeat. I'm sure you'll find a good home for him."

"I'll ask Valera when I drop off this…whatever it is," he said as he held up the bag. They parted company and he set out for the DNA lab. They were one step closer to having an answer about who killed the family, one step closer to getting the mayor to leave them alone. The dog continued to behave himself as he walked the halls with Delko. A few minutes later they surprised Valera by walking into her section of the lab.

"What a cute dog," she said. She promptly scratched the dog under the chin. "What can I do for the two of you?"

Delko handed her the bag. "I need this tested. And the dog has blood on his fur that I would like to have tested. Hopefully it'll belong to our killer."

She took the bag and placed it on the table next to a microscope, then picked up a pair of tweezers and another bag. "Just let me gather a few of those hairs and you can be on your way." She began to pull a few of the bloodied hairs, some from the back and few from the muzzle. The dog didn't budge. "Any idea what kind of dog it is?"

"Nope," Delko shook his head. "Maybe he's a mutt."

"Well he's a very well behaved and cute mutt. I wish my landlord allowed pets because I'd take him home with me," she said as she stood, her job done. Delko didn't say anything about the dog just told her to keep him up to date on the test.

--

Later that day Delko was sitting outside the lab under a tree with the dog beside him. He'd managed to get the dog to drink some water but couldn't get him to eat any of the food, not even half of his sandwich. It worried him that the dog wasn't eating. It also worried him that he hadn't been able to find anyone that could keep the dog. He had asked Calleigh and Frank, Jake and Cooper. Even Ryan. But none of them could have a dog. Either it was allergies or they weren't allowed or they didn't have the time and space. It looked more and more like the dog was going to end up at the pound and that put Delko in a bad mood.

"So this is the dog that everybody in the lab is talking about?" Horatio said as he came upon the pair. The dog greeted him, though somewhat nervously.

"The dog everybody talks about but can't help," Delko muttered.

"Test results are in," Horatio said, slightly changing the subject. "The blood belongs to a Mister David Rossi. I'm going to take Jake, swing by and have a word with this man. I will make sure to check for dog bits."

Delko pet the dog. "Seems kind of sad that he gives us a key piece of evidence and we have to give him over to the pound."

"I'm almost positive that things will work out," voiced Horatio. He turned to walk away but stopped, looking back over his shoulder. "Oh, Valera says that he's an Anatolian Shepherd, a breed that originated in Turkey. And if I understand correctly they can be quite rare."

"That could be why the guy wanted him."

"We'll find out."

Horatio left so Delko found himself alone with the dog once again. The poor nameless, homeless dog but at least he knew that dog's breed. And the simple fact that the dog had done what it could to protect a family that had obviously treated it without love spoke a lot to the breed. It just seemed such a shame to him that a dog that lived in a cold garage without food or water would end up at the pound and most likely get put down. He thought about setting the dog loose, letting it run as a stray but there was no guarantee that life on the street would be any better. The dog could get hit by a car or shot or poisoned.

"When did you get a dog?"

His heart skipped a beat as the words settled over him. He looked up to see Speed standing off to the side. At the sight of Speed his throat went dry and he couldn't think of a thing to say.

The dog ran up to Speed, his tail wagging. "Hey buddy, do you have a name?"

"No," Delko explained, finally finding his voice. He quickly gave Speed the rundown on how he'd come into the possession of the rare Anatolian Shepherd. He even expressed his concerns about the dog not eating or having a good home to go to.

"I'll take him."

"What…you…?"

He shrugged. "Why not? My therapist has suggested getting a dog to help alleviate my fears and this guy needs a home. He shouldn't have to end up at the pound when he might have provided justice for a family that didn't care about him."

Delko smiled as a sense of warmth passed over him. "I guess Horatio was right, things did work out in the end." He was quiet a second before saying, "We need to talk."

"How about we go get this guy a hamburger or something? We can talk then."

"All right," Delko agreed. There were a lot of things on his mind, a lot of emotions that he had to sort through before they reached whatever restaurant they could find that had outdoor tables and wouldn't mind the dog.


	9. That's The Way I Like It

**Chapter Nine: That's the Way I like It**

They drove around for about fifteen minutes before they found a place where they could eat. At first their conversation centered on the dog. Speed had never actually owned a dog so there were things he felt the urge to talk about; like what type of food he should buy. But Delko was more concerned with the dog having a name. Names were tossed back and forth like balls in a tennis match before Speed finally decided to call the dog Mitochondrial. When Delko heard that he just rolled his eyes; leave it up to a science nerd to give his dog a strange name. Speed quickly explained that he would call him Mite for short. So of course Delko had to bring up the fact that mites are nasty bugs and no dog should have to have that sort of name but there was no changing his mind. The dog officially had a name.

And that's when Speed asked Delko what it was that he had wanted to talk about.

Not ready to bring up his affections for the other man he took a bite of his hamburger so that he had an excuse not to talk. While he chewed his mind went on a wild ride; what was he going to say? There was no way that he could just come out and say what he felt. That's what Horatio said he needed to do but he didn't think he had it in him to be that straight forward about his feelings. The one thing that kept him from opening his mouth was the constant worry that Speed would turn him away. What if his friend couldn't handle the fact that he was in love? This was a delicate situation; one he wasn't sure how to handle. He caught himself wishing that his sister was still alive so that he could ask her for advice. He could always go to Calleigh…

"Earth to Delko," Speed said, interrupting his thoughts.

Delko swallowed his mouthful of food. "Sorry, I was busy thinking…"

"About what?"

He decided to just go with whatever popped out of his mouth. "Where did you go? I thought you left to visit your folks in New York?"

Speed shrugged it off. "I made it out of the state before turning around to come back. I guess right now that I don't know where I belong…"

"You belong here, Speed, with us," stated Delko as he wiped his hands on a napkin.

It looked like Speed was going to say something in reply but before he could their phones began to beep. Their break for lunch was done as the call came across that there was an officer in distress. Delko quickly gathered the trash and threw it in the nearest trash can as Speed headed toward the Hummer with Mite in toe. The dog jumped into the backseat, Speed making sure that the windows were opened far enough for a good breeze. And they were gone.

--

When they arrived at the scene they were already too late. The ambulance was pulling away, sirens blaring. Speed felt his heartbeat quicken and he was filled with a sudden sense of dread. Something about the scene was horrifically wrong, something that would send his world into a downward spiral. His eyes strayed toward the seemingly harmless looking house. There was a Hummer, one belonging to the lab, parked in the driveway. Then he remembered what Horatio had said when he ran into him outside the lab before seeing Delko. The leader of the crime lab had mentioned that he was on his way to interview their only suspect in the slayings. All these horrible images began to filter through his mind, ruining his concentration and that's why he nearly rear ended a patrol car, pulling up short a second before the collision.

He heard Delko yelling at him, the words failing to register in his panic stricken mind. His only thoughts were on Horatio and whether or not his friend was still okay. The ambulance…he tried not to think about his own journey in the back of the ambulance where he fought so hard to stay conscious. But try as he might the unwelcome memories came rushing back to him. Once again he saw the worry clearly written on his boss's face while the paramedics did everything they could to stop the rushing flow of blood coming from his chest. He remembered how scared he became when he started to feel cold and the edge of his vision went black. He remembered the warmth of Horatio's hand firmly grasping his, anchoring him in the land of the living. What would he do if his boss wasn't there one day?

Speed ran in the direction of the voices, his heart threatening to tear free of his chest. He rounded the back of the house and slid to a stop in the grass. There was blood all over the cement surrounding the pool; so much blood that whoever it belonged to was clearly no longer a living human. But it wasn't Horatio. At the sight of seeing his boss standing there talking to an officer he instantly felt relieved, only to feel ashamed about it a minute later. Someone had lost their life and he was feeling relieved; what kind of person did that?

"Speed?" Horatio walked over to him. "Tim, why are you here?"

Before he could say anything Delko came upon them. "We got the call about an officer in distress so we headed right over. Is everything okay?"

The expression on Horatio's face told them the tale. "The suspect is dead but he managed to get a couple of shots off himself before succumbing to the wound. We may have lost one of our own today. The paramedics didn't give him much hope."

"Who was it?" Delko asked. Horatio gave them the name of the officer. "He just got married, didn't he?"

Horatio looked toward the horizon. "I want the house searched. Check all the rooms; see if you can find any connection between our dead suspect and the murdered family."

"Of course."

--

Sometime later Horatio walked into the house to see how well Speed and Delko were doing with the processing. He'd gotten a call from the hospital a few moments ago telling him that the officer was in critical condition but at least he had made it to the hospital alive. Horatio couldn't help feeling that he was reliving Speed's near-death experience and if it was affecting him as much as it was then how was the fragile scientist holding up? Walking through the foyer and into the living room he found Delko securing his kit.

"What do we have?"

Delko looked up at his boss; there was a twinkle in his eye. "I found what look to be dog hairs on our man. After checking over the house I can honestly say that he didn't own a dog. If they came back to our pooch then I think we found our killer. Now if only we could figure out the motivation."

"With time," said Horatio. "With time; get the evidence back to the lab."

"I was just headed that way." Delko stood, his kit in hand but he made no attempt to leave. "Um, H…I couldn't tell him…he was sitting there across the table from me and I couldn't find the words…why is he back? Why didn't he go to New York?"

Horatio looked at Delko. "I'm sorry but I don't have the answers to your questions. There's only one person that does."

"How's the cop?" inquired Delko, changing the subject without any warning.

"He's holding on," Horatio replies, letting the original conversation slide. He knew when it was the right time to push and when he needed to leave well enough alone. "The bad guy is dead and the cop is fighting. That's the way I like it."


	10. 10,000 Promises

**Chapter Ten: 10,000 Promises**

Horatio had repeated himself, saying that he wanted the evidence back the lab as soon as possible. Delko was aware that the case was highly sensitive so he started for the door, his boss answering a call on his cell phone. His mind was a jumble of thoughts as he tried to make sense of what direction his life was headed in. Coming to terms with his attraction to his best friend had been a pivotal point in his life. He'd spent nights lying awake in his head trying to make sense of the feelings that would take hold of him when he laid eyes on the dark haired member of the team. Why he had fallen in love with Speed was beyond him. As far as he could remember it was the first time he'd ever found himself attracted to someone of the same sex. He tried for months to ignore the spark burning inside but when Speed would brush against him or just so happened to be close he would feel his breath catch in his throat as his pulse began to quicken. The dark, brooding investigator captivated him in ways that he'd never experienced before. And he liked it. He became comfortable with his attraction, comfortable with who he was.

The biggest step taken was telling Horatio. The acceptance of his boss led him to tell Alexx. Both of them had given him hugs and spoken words of encouragement. Only they didn't realize that he was madly in love with Speed, they only knew that he had finally sorted things out. The only person that knew about the feelings that made him get out of bed every morning was Horatio and he knew that his boss would keep his secret.

Now if only he could come clean to the person that mattered most, Speed. That day when he nearly lost him had sent a numbing wave over his body. He'd broken down in tears thinking that he'd missed his chance. He remembered praying, saying that if Speed pulled through that he would tell him everything. Speed lived. The days came and went, months passed, and he still hadn't spoken the words to anybody but the reflection in his mirror. He knew eventually that he was going to have to say something because he couldn't take the torture anymore. In his dreams every night he got to hold Speed, to kiss him and whisper his affections in the heat of the moment. He wanted his dreams to become real. He wanted to hold Speed.

He took a misstep as he walked out the door and nearly fell to the ground. By some chance he kept his balance, merely stumbling. His train of thought having been derailed he realized that the dog, Mite, was going crazy in the back of the Hummer. He could hear the shepherd's frantic barking across the expanse of the yard. Frowning, he tried to figure out what it was that the dog was barking out. Something on the other side of the street must have caught his attention because he was focused on something in that direction. Delko figured it had likely been a squirrel or a rabbit. He would have to mention to Speed the fact that Mite liked barking at small things; a few of Speed's neighbors had cats. At about that time, halfway across the front yard, it dawned on him that he hadn't really seen Speed since they arrived at the scene. A heavy feeling settled in his gut. His eyes went back to the barking dog.

The kit slipped from his fingers, crashing to the ground.

Without really thinking he took off toward the Hummer, his feet working off a mind of their own. Something was wrong.

He rounded the front of the Hummer and stopped. Speed was sitting on the pavement with his knees up to his chest, his hands on the side of his head. Delko couldn't tell if his shoulders were shaking because he was crying or just breathing hard. He also couldn't help but feel as though he'd walked in on a personal moment. When Speed failed to look up, to acknowledge him, he edged closer; when he was less than a foot away he fell to his knees on the pavement. He placed a comforting hand on Speed's shoulder and they stayed that way for a good ten minutes before Speed actually raised his head. His eyes were slightly swollen suggesting that he maybe have been crying at one point.

"Are you okay…?"

Speed let his head fall back, making contact with the Hummer. "This…I need to go home."

"I'll drive you," Delko said, forgetting about the evidence, his kit still sitting in the front yard. He managed to get Speed into the Hummer. Mite had quieted down and curled up for a nap in the backseat. Delko climbed behind the wheel and a minute later they were cruising down the street.

--

Only when he parked the large vehicle in a spot outside Speed's apartment building did he remember the note he'd left the day before. Obviously Speed hadn't been home- he was wearing the same clothes- so he hadn't yet seen the note. It was only a matter of time before he did though and then what would happen? Would he slam the door in Delko's face? Laugh at him or look at him in disgust? As they headed toward the elevator all these fears raced through his mind, sending a chill down his spine. Sure he wanted Speed to know how he felt but he didn't think he could live with the rejection. One of them would have to leave the lab. His whole world could come to a screeching halt with one word, one simple expression. Walking down the hall toward Speed's door he felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He purposely lagged behind, thinking that he should duck out know before the door was even opened. Instead he kept going forward.

When Speed opened the door to his apartment Mite raced inside intent on sniffing everything in his new home. Speed warned the dog against piddling on the floor. Then he saw the note. He bent to pick it up and read it as he headed toward the couch. He settled on the couch, the piece of paper still in his hand.

Delko closed the door and made his way to the couch, settling somewhat nervously beside Speed. "I…um…I've been doing a lot of thinking and…I think I'm in love with you." There, he'd said it.

"Stop," Speed said, his eyes closed.

"What…?"

"Don't say anything. Just….please, I've had some really bad days and I…I can't do this right now."

"Oh, okay," he responded, standing. Already he could feel his heart breaking. He fought to remain somewhat cool. "Then I'll, uh, just be on my way."

Speed grabbed his hand but didn't look at him. "We'll talk about this, I promise. I just need some time. Every day that goes by I feel like I'm losing myself…and…"

"It's okay, Speed," Delko assured.

"Tomorrow. We can talk tomorrow."


	11. Hey, Mr DJ

**Note: **I apologize for the dely in this chapter. I did indeed update on Friday. Obviously it didn't take...My deepest apologies for not noticing sooner!

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Hey, Mr. DJ**

Tomorrow came and went. They didn't talk, much as Speed promised that they would. There just wasn't time for it. Following the slaughter of the family they were quickly bogged down with an attempted robbery that went bad, a home invasion that was anything but normal, and an unexpected death at a club. Horatio tried to assign the teams evenly, making it so that everyone worked with everyone in the long run. He didn't want any friction between his lab members. So he stuck Calleigh with Tripp and sent them to work the robbery. Delko worked the home invasion with Jake; which left Speed to work with Ryan. There were kinks to work out in the last two pairings; he kept a watchful eye on the boys to make sure that they got along. There would be no arguing in his lab.

--

Delko took a swab of the blood from the tile floor in the kitchen. He wasn't sure who it belonged to since the victim was in the upstairs bedroom sprawled across the bed with blood from a head wound. There was a chance that the blood droplets in the kitchen belonged to the person who killed him. But the house had been empty, the couple gone for a week in Africa. Breaking into the house and robbing the place should have been easy, a piece of cake. So why did the guy? The alarm had been disarmed and there didn't appear to be any broken windows. Either he knew the family and had a key or the guy was one hell of a cat burglar. Delko was thinking that perhaps the family had something to do with. They went away to Africa and their house gets broken into, things get stolen, and they collect the insurance money. He'd seen scams like it so many times before.

"What's with the look?" Jake asked as he walked back into the kitchen. Delko had no idea where he'd disappeared to a few minutes ago and he didn't really care, as long as the detective wasn't messing up his crime scene.

"Just sorting through the evidence in my head to get idea of what happened here," he replied. "Our victim died upstairs. All the blood is in the one room, with the exception of these droplets here. They're gravitational…whoever made them was standing."

"Maybe it was our killer."

Delko looked up at him then returned to studying the kitchen. "Heard that you and Calleigh went on vacation together…"

Had Delko been looking he would have seen Jake roll his eyes. "Can we not do this on the job?"

"Do what?" Delko asked.

"Look, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm encroaching on your territory but Calleigh can make her own choices," he explained.

For some reason Delko actually felt like laughing, instead he just smiled. "Dude, you think that I want to hook-up with Calleigh?"

"I've seen the two of you together. You can't tell me that it hasn't passed through your mind."

Delko shrugged, flipping off his flashlight with the satisfaction that there was nothing else of importance in the kitchen. "Maybe there was a time but I'm interested in someone else now. You have nothing to worry about from me, unless of course you break her heart in which case I'll kick your ass."

"Then we understand one another."

"I guess we do," Delko said. "Now about that body upstairs…"

--

Speed wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to work a scene with Ryan. He knew that the former patrol officer was a good investigator and an okay scientist but he couldn't keep from thinking that Ryan was supposed to be his replacement. Though he had no reason to actually hate the guy there was some residual resentment when it came to him. And that's why he got stuck working with Ryan. Horatio wanted all the wrinkles in the lab to be smoothed out. The biggest wrinkle being the one between him and the new guy. As they drove to the club he thought about letting Ryan have the lead on the case to see how the guy worked. It would give him a chance to offer advice from a senior investigator's point but without making him feel insignificant or lacking in knowledge. He had to learn to trust Ryan or there would be a lot of problems when it came to working crime scenes. They were supposed to have each other's back. If he felt he couldn't trust Ryan…

They pulled up outside the club to find a surprise amount of people outside on the sidewalk. Most of the clubs in the area didn't open their doors until around five so that they could take advantage of the nighttime partiers. He'd never heard of a club that was open while the sun was high in the sky. Threading their way through the crowd they were stopped momentarily by the bouncer. A flash of badges gave them entrance to the brick building. As he walked through the door he had a flash of a club fire a few years back. It caught him off guard because he hadn't thought about it in so long. But all of a sudden he felt like he was back there; the throbbing music, the dim lighting, the air filled with the smell of smoke and the screams of clubbers. He stopped in his tracks, his chest tightening. This was not the time or place to have an anxiety attack. He closed his eyes, concentrated on his breathing.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked in a hushed voice. It was only the two of them in the dark hallway.

"Fine," Speed snapped without meaning to. He forced himself to swallow done the panic that was trying to take hold of him. The last thing he wanted to do was look weak in front of the younger man. Opening his eyes he started into the main room. Had anyone bothered to look at his hand they would have seen that he was holding his kit tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

Music with a heavy bass-line thrummed from the speakers mounted on the walls. Though there were no dancers on the floor it was still occupied. A young woman in a skimpy outfit lay crumbled on the floor, blood trickling out of the corner of her mouth. Instantly Speed thought about the possibilities of it being a combination of drugs and flashing lights. She could have had a seizure, her brain overpowered by both substances. Clubbers weren't always the brightest people in the world. He settled his kit on a table, slipping on a pair of rubber gloves. Grabbing a flashlight he began at the edge of the dance floor and began to look for clues. Without really coming out and saying it he made Ryan collect the evidence from the body. For a while they worked in silence, mainly because they couldn't hear each other with the music that seemed to be getting louder with every passing minute. It got to a point that Speed felt that he couldn't hear himself think. Frustrated he turned off his flashlight.

Ryan was looking at something, a fiber, which he held with a pair of tweezers. Speed's sudden motion caught his attention. "Find something?"

"No," he replied. "The music…haven't you noticed that it's been getting louder since we walked through the door?"

Ryan decided that a nod of the head was easier to read than yelling above the music.

"I'm going to see about having it shut off," Speed yelled, pointing toward the DJ booth that was in the corner on a slight rise. He headed toward it, his badge easily visible. The nearer he got to the booth the louder the music. He also began to sense that something was wrong, something was off. Maybe it was the lingering scent of something in the air that he'd smelled so many times before. His brain registered the familiar scent; there just wasn't enough of it to actually identify what it was. That was, until he stumbled into the disc jockey's booth. With a sigh he flipped off the music.

From below he heard Ryan say, "Now I can hear myself think. Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet," Speed was quick to reply. "We have ourselves another body. Someone killed the DJ."


	12. That's What She Said

**Note: **Once again I find myself wondering if I should bother with this story...

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: That's what she said**

Horatio was sitting in his office sorting through a stack of paperwork, his mind not really on the task at hand. He was thinking about the one thing that was always on his mind as of late; Timothy Speedle. He cared so deeply for his friend that he couldn't help but worry about him almost all of the time. He didn't care to think about that day months ago when he'd nearly lost Speed because of a malfunctioning gun. Nobody knew how much Speed's getting shot actually affected him. While his friend fought for his life in the hospital Horatio typed up a draft of his resignation. For weeks he thought about handing it in and leaving the lab behind. He couldn't get it out of his head that the shooting wasn't his fault. He was the one that led them to the jewelry store that day, but he wasn't the one that opened fire. Eventually he was able to put the events out of his mind, especially when the news came that Speed had finally awakened. Many changes came that day. He learned that it would be a long time before Speed healed completely and he wanted to be there every step of the way. His resignation forgotten, he hired on Ryan Wolfe to pick up the slack and tried to live every day for what it was.

Now Speed was out of the hospital and back on the job. But the threat for danger was still there. Horatio had been the one to pick him up from the hospital the day he was released. That day he and Speed were told something they decided to keep a secret. Speed's health would never be a hundred percent again. There was a chance that too much exertion would cause him to have a heart attack due to the weakening sustained by the bullet. He might experience bouts of shortness of breath. There was a slight chance he might have trouble remembering things due to a loss of oxygen when he died on the operating table for a few minutes. And then one had to take into account the fear and anxiety issues that would arise from the situation. He wasn't entirely sure that Speed should have returned to the job but it was what the younger man wanted and who was he to say no? He'd known Speed longer than the others, thought of him almost like a son.

There was a knock on his door. He called the person in, surprised to see that it was the man he'd just been thinking about instead of doing his job. "Speed, what can I do for you?"

Speed fell into one of the chairs facing the desk. He was happy to see that Horatio had drawn the blinds over the large windows because he wasn't really in the mood to see that sun. His head had started hurting shortly after finding the dead disc jockey. Good thing he'd grabbed his sunglasses before leaving the lab. "That murder you sent us out on? We found another body. Looks like someone killed the DJ. I'm waiting on Alexx to tell me who died first, thinking it might give us a clue."

"Is that what you really wanted to see me about?" H asked as he leaned back in his chair, studying his friend.

"Well," he started off, licking his lips, "I…Have you spoken to Delko?"

"He called me about an hour ago to inform me about his case," answered Horatio. "Aside from that, I haven't really spoken with him. Why do you ask?"

"A couple of days ago he told me something and…I told him that we'd talk about it but…" For once he was actually having trouble talking to his boss about something. Though Horatio knew all about his past, mainly why he'd run away from New York, this made him feel…uncomfortable and slightly exposed. "It was after that officer got shot. He drove me home and we…he left me a note that really didn't make any sense to me. But he…." He licked his lips again. "He said he loved me, Horatio."

Horatio tried not to smile and managed to pull it off. He knew that it would only be a matter of time before Delko finally got around to saying those words. "May I ask what you said?"

"I told him to stop, that I didn't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

Speed shrugged. "Maybe because I was still trying to deal with the fact that an officer got shot and it brought back all the memories and the feelings…Maybe I just didn't want to talk about it."

There was another possibility. "Could it be that perhaps you don't want to get close to him?" Speed gave him an odd look so he went on to explain. "I've noticed that since you've returned that you like to keep yourself a little distant. I don't know if it has something to do with what happened back in New York all those years ago or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. And as much as I'd like to help you with this I believe you should be speaking with Delko. This isn't a problem I can really solve, Speed."

"I know," he said, getting up, running a hand through his hair. He headed toward the door but stopped short of opening it. "Oh, I decided to let Ryan be the lead on the case. I wanted to get a feel of how he works."

"That's fine," Horatio said, a faint smile playing on his lips.

--

He was walking down the hall, heading toward the Trace Lab so that he could start testing the fibers from their crime scene when he walked into Calleigh, literally. She dropped the envelopes of evidence that she'd been holding. At the sight of him, though, she just smiled. Together they picked up the scattered evidence envelopes. "Good thing I ran into you," she smiled. "Delko's in the locker room. He wanted to know if I'd seen you. I have a feeling that he wants to talk to you." She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him on the cheek. "I wish I could stay in chat but there's work to be done." And then she was gone.

He watched her walk away, a hand going to his chest. There was a low throb in the area of his scar. His mind went back to the conversation he'd just had with Horatio, replaying the whole thing in his mind. Twice now he'd been told to talk to Delko but he didn't know what to say to his friend. There were things in his past that he had to deal with, not to mention the fact that he was trying to deal with being back at work. Still, he found himself heading toward the locker room so that he could have a word with Delko. If anything he would explain that right now he didn't want to get into a relationship.

Pushing open the locker room door he found Delko sitting on the bench. "Hey…" He stepped into the room.

"I just talking to Calleigh about you," Delko replied, looking up.

"So she says…" He was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable. But he couldn't tell if it was because of the conversation they were about to have or because his head hurt. "Look, Delko…" He never got the chance to finish the sentence as a bolt of searing pain raced through his skull. Instantly his hands went to his head, his vision blurred.

"Speed!"


	13. If I Don't Have You

**Chapter Thirteen: If I don't Have You**

Alexx shined the small flashlight toward Speed's eyes but he pushed her hand away. The light, even from such a small device, hurt his eyes. She frowned, biting her tongue to keep her comment to herself. She had been walking down the hallway when she heard Delko yelling for someone to help him. In the back of her head she figured that maybe something minor had happened but then she walked into the locker room to find Speed sitting on the ground, his back resting against a locker, his head in his hands. A lot of horrible fears went through her mind in the time that it took for her to cross the short distance from the door to where Delko was crouched beside Speed. It was obvious that their friend was in pain. She asked that Delko explain to her what happened. He recounted a short tale of how Speed had come into the room, said only a few words, and then been brought down by pain. Now she was trying to examine him and he clearly didn't want her to.

"Tim, hun, you have got to let me do this," she said, managing to keep her voice calm.

He pushed her hand away again as she tried to shine the light in his eyes for a second time. "It was just a bad headache," he remarked. His throat was dry, his voice coming out scratchy.

"More like a migraine," corrected Alexx, her voice clipped with a touch of annoyance.

"Since when does Speed get migraines?" questioned Delko from where he was sitting. He'd taken a seat on the bench so that he would be out of the way.

"Anybody can get them," Alexx replied. She slipped her penlight into her pocket. "My suggestion is that you take some aspirin, and if you go outside don't forget to put on your sunglasses. You'll probably be sensitive to the light for a few more hours." She stood. "If you have any more problems, please don't be hesitant to come to me, hun, I'm always here to help."

"Thanks," he muttered.

They both sat in silence as they watched her walk away. Speed wanted to climb to his feet and make a hasty retreat from the room. The courage he had to explain himself to Delko had fled when the migraine came upon him. The pain had been so intense and completely unexpected. Of all the things that his doctor warned him about the subject of headaches and migraines had never come up. He'd have to make sure to call his doctor when the work shift was over to have a word with him, maybe get a better understanding of what was going on. Though he cared for Alexx he didn't want to share with anyone, aside from Horatio, the problems that he could suffer. They were worried enough as it was, why make matters worse? He climbed to his feet only to have the room do a little dip and spin around him. For a fleeting moment he thought he was going to end up back on the floor. But he felt a hand on his chest push him back against the locker; Delko had noticed his unsteadiness. Thankful for his friend's help, ignoring the pain from the pressure on his chest, he caught himself gazing into Delko's brown eyes. Something within him stirred, something he hadn't felt in years.

Then he wanted to push Delko away. These were feelings he didn't want to have, didn't want to experience again. The pain in his chest turned into a burning sensation, Delko's skin hot to the touch even though there was fabric between them. In the silence of the room he realized just how close they actually were and he found himself hoping that someone would walk in and shatter the moment. But it didn't happen like that. Instead Delko leaned in closer, his lips brushing against Speed's just the slightest bit. A wave of sensations washed over Speed; from regret to being turned on to anger and unhappiness. He finally got control of his senses and gently pushed the other man away.

"Stop."

Delko let his hand fall away. "I'm sorry. I didn't…" Color raced into his cheeks and his eyes filled with remorse. What had he been thinking? He wanted to kick himself; throw punches at the lockers, anything that would be make him feel better. He was almost thoroughly convinced that he'd ruined things before they even started.

"Eric," Speed said, catching Delko by surprise. He rarely used his friend's first name. "I don't know what to do about this…thing…"

"I'm sorry," he said again, beginning to sound like a broken record. "I never meant…dammit. You know, I tried for months to tell myself that I wasn't attracted to you. Before you I'd never been attracted to a guy so I sat there day after day trying to make sense of it, trying to understand what made me feel that way…this way. Maybe I'm not supposed to understand it. Maybe I'm supposed to just let my feelings take me where they will…who fucking knows? The one thing that I do know is that I'm in love with you, Tim. These feelings…it's like being consumed from the inside out. I see you and I think about what it would be like to be with you…"

"Eric, stop it," Speed said with more force than he'd meant to.

Delko shut up.

"I don't want to do this. I can't…" he said while shaking his head for added emphasis. There was a voice in the back of his head that told him to just tell Delko everything that had happened in New York, everything about his past that kept him running, everything he'd kept hidden. But for some unknown reason he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he just muttered an apology and left the room, left Delko standing there, unaware that his friend's heart was breaking a little bit.


	14. Larger Than Life

**Chapter Fourteen: Larger than Life**

"Have you noticed anything amiss between the boys?" Frank asked Calleigh as they walked through their crime scene once more. Something had been bugging her so she asked the sergeant to accompany her back to the scene of the robbery.

"What do you mean?" She flashed her light at the magazine rack.

Frank shrugged. "They don't seem as chummy as they used to be, that's all. When Speed returned to the job I figured Delko would be beside himself to have his best friend back. But now I hardly even see the two of them talk."

"Really?" Calleigh frowned, facing him. "I hadn't even noticed. Maybe there's a little tension between because of what happened at the last crime scene…"

"Think we should mention it to Horatio?"

That made Calleigh smile. "Hon, if you've noticed that lack of communication between those two, chances are H actually knows what's causing it." She turned back toward the magazine rack. The cashier had been found near it when the small convenience store opened a few days ago. She was still trying to figure out what the man was doing near the magazines when he was murdered. Though the most baffling part of the case was the lack of robbery. The cash register was still full from the last day of work. Whoever committed the crime hadn't done it for a chance at quick cash. That led her to believe that it had something to do with the cashier, the only person at the store during those hours. "Help me move this?"

"Sure," Frank replied.

Together they shifted the heavy wooden shelving specially made to hold periodicals. With her flashlight, Calleigh shimmied behind the piece of furniture. But after a thorough examination she came up empty handed. She flipped off the light with a sigh. "Well, so much for that idea."

"Maybe he was running from our killer," offered Frank. "Most murders are committed by someone who knows the victim. He could have known that this person meant him harm and been running for safety."

"Why not just lock the door or trigger the alarm under the register?" mused Calleigh as she gazed around at the place once again. "There's got to be something that we're missing…" Her cell phone began to chirp, making them both jump in the silence. She took it from its holder surprised to see that Jake was calling her. She flipped open her phone and listened. After the call ended she turned to Frank. "Looks like we're done here. According to Jake we're having a meeting at the lab. Something about the three current cases being worked."

"Does he know who killed our cashier?" Frank asked as they headed out of the convenience store.

--

Back at the lab they headed for the break room where she'd been instructed to go. When she got there she was surprised to see that just about everybody else was in attendance. As she took a seat at the table she noticed that Delko and Speed were definitely acting weird. While Speed remained seated at the table across from her Delko was leaning against the counter with the coffeemaker. Jake gave her a quick smile before Frank pulled him into a conversation. The only person she was surprised to see was Hagen who was lurking in one of the corners. That fact that he was there made her a little edgy. Since his attempted suicide in her lab he'd been given one psych test after another, apparently passing. Horatio tried to keep the two of them apart knowing that Hagen's presence brought back bad memories. Something big was brewing on the horizon and that made her nervous. She looked around at the others wondering if they realized something was wrong. But it was hard to gauge their emotions, though she could tell that Speed was in a dark mood because of his close proximity. She thought about asking him what was wrong. They hadn't really had a serious talk since he returned to work. Maybe she would take him out to dinner one night. Jake would understand.

A minute passed before Alexx came through the door with Horatio on her heels. The leader of the crime lab closed the break room door behind him. The medical examiner settled somewhat nervously between Speed and Calleigh. Horatio remained standing.

"Thank you for all coming," he started off with, fidgeting with his sunglasses. "I know that you guys have been working on three separate cases but there is now reason to believe that these cases are linked."

"How?" Ryan asked. Calleigh hadn't even noticed he was in the room. She looked around to find him within proximity of Delko. Then her eyes trailed back to Speed. His mood hadn't shifted any, neither had his gaze; which was boring holes into the table.

"For one thing, all the victims have the same tattoo," Horatio explained. "All relatively in the same spot. During the testing of trace evidence Speed stumbled across an organic substance on the victims in the club. As he told me he remembered seeing something similar in Delko's evidence and in yours, Calleigh. He took the liberty of running the tests. All four victims have the same organic substance on them."

"So they knew each other?" Frank asked. "Maybe they were hanging out at a party. Maybe we're putting too much thought into it and they were just killed by the same guy. Some freak serial killer without a pattern."

Ryan walked toward the table. "But he does have a pattern, albeit a weird one. He's killed four people with the same tattoo."

"Then let's find out what the tattoo is for," Delko said, finally joining the conversation. Calleigh looked at Speed to gauge his reaction. To her dismay it was like he wasn't even present, his mind far away.

"Done," Horatio said. He looked at Detective Hagen. "Hagen, do you want to take it from here?"

Hagen pushed away from the wall, his movements a little hesitant, apparently uncomfortable with being around them. He was trying to figure out what they all thought of him, whether or not they would believe what he had to tell them. "The tattoo is worn by members of a militia group that has been under surveillance for quite a while now. These people are not fans of law enforcement. They believe that we are here as a part of 'big brother' to spy on them for the government. Over the years they have performed a number of crimes on law enforcement personal. Everything from slashing tires on cruisers to making threats on family members."

"Has anyone ever been arrested?" Alexx asked, a tremor in her voice. Unlike the rest of them she actually had a family at home to worry about.

Detective Hagen shook his head. "There's never been concrete evidence so all the cases have been thrown out in court."

Jake decided to officially join the discussion. "So what does this have to do with our victims? Sounds to me like we should be somewhat glad that there are less of these militia guys."

"I talked with a few buddies of mine," Hagen went on to explain. "It seems that our four victims actually wanted out. They no longer wanted to take part in the crimes committed in the name of the group."

"So they were killed by their own associates?" Calleigh asked.

"Yep," Horatio answered. "And if what Hagen has told me is true we need to be on guard."

"Why?" Delko, Ryan and Calleigh all said at the same time.

"Because the militia has been making threats against our lab for processing the crime scenes," Hagen told them. "And we have reason to believe that they will carry out their threats."

Horatio looked at them. "I don't want any of you alone, you understand? Stay with the person you were assigned to work with. Alexx, I'm going to have Hagen escort you wherever you go. We may have a very big problem on our hands."


	15. I Want it That Way

**Chapter Fifteen: I Want it that Way**

Later that evening Speed parted ways with Ryan, leaving the clearly obsessive investigator with a pile of work that he refused to leave unfinished. Speed remembered that he used to be the exact same way when he started out on the job. Now he just wanted to escape the lab, get home and fall into the fitful sleep that was awaiting him. Why had he even bothered to return to the crime lab? When he was stuck in his apartment he thought it would make everything better if he could just go back to doing his job. How wrong he'd been. Nothing had been made right; if possible everything had gotten worse since he returned. There was a chance he was reading too much into it but he was almost convinced that he wasn't. Had he never returned to work he wouldn't have nearly gotten shot again. The whole thing with Delko would never have popped up. A police cruiser wouldn't be following him home that night. He knew that they were keeping tabs on him because of Horatio's orders and that everyone else had an escort but it didn't make him feel any better about it. He should have found a new job instead of returning to the lab.

Or maybe it all would have been better if he'd just passed away. Though he'd been dead for a few moments on the operating table perhaps if he'd passed things would have taken a different path. He wouldn't be trying to escape the lab, for one thing.

A few minutes later he was pulling into the parking lot outside his apartment building. The police cruiser drove by, the job done for the night. As he parked his bike he wondered if they would be there to follow him to work in the morning. Heading into the building he thought about how much life had changed within the span of a year. He'd been nearly killed, that was the biggest thing. But now it looked as though everything else was falling apart. He shook his head, checking his mail before heading toward the elevator. The ride was a silent and quick one. He smiled at one of his neighbor's as he headed toward his apartment. As soon as he slipped the key in the lock he heard Mite on the other side whimpering. That was the one positive ingredient in the recipe that was brewing. He no longer came home to find his place empty and cold. Someone was always waiting for him, happy to see him. Maybe he should have gotten a dog sooner.

He opened the door and was promptly greeted by the shepherd. He patted the dog, scratching him behind the ears before closing and locking the door. He threw his few bills on the coffee table, then headed for the kitchen. Mite got fresh water and his dinner. Having taken care of the dog Speed wandered into his bedroom where he ditched his work clothes in the hamper. For a moment he entertained the thought of hoping in the shower but he quickly let the idea drop, grabbing a few clothes out of his dresser. Then he sat on the bed in the dark, his thoughts wandering freely. Though not a single one of them was happy.

Fishing through the pockets of his discarded pants he pulled out his cell phone. He hit speed dial and listened to the ringing, happy when someone picked up on the other end.

"I…I think I'm falling apart," he said. "I…" he was cut off. Then the line went dead.

--

Fifteen minutes passed before there was a knock at his door. He thought about not answering it but knew for a fact that the person on the other side wouldn't go away. Not after he'd called. Stumbling out of his dark bedroom he headed for the door. Mite was sleeping on the couch and Speed had a thought about the dog not being the best guard dog out there. But then again, maybe the shepherd was aware that the person outside was not a threat. Unlocking the door Speed pulled it open, then headed for the couch, sinking onto the sofa beside his dog. Mite wagged his tail somewhat half-heartedly before drifting off to sleep again.

"Speed?" Horatio asked as he walked into the apartment, closing the door.

"Everything…do you ever feel that there's no meaning to life?"

"There's always meaning," his boss said as he settled on the coffee table across from Speed. "It's finding that meaning that can be the hard part."

Speed averted his eyes, not wanting to look at Horatio. "But what if there is no meaning?" he stressed.

"What brought this on?"

"I thought going back to work, being around my friends, would make me happy but…" he let the rest of the words die on his lips. "Everything's broken. I'm broken."

"Speed…"

"I don't know what to do about Delko," he said, changing the subject somewhat.

Horatio was more than willing to let Speed take the conversation wherever he wanted. Maybe it would help him to understand what was bothering the younger man. "I take it he's spoken to you about the way he feels?"

"You knew?" Speed said, finally looking at his friend. "You knew and you didn't think to say anything to me?" He knew that he shouldn't really be angry at his boss but he was.

"Tim, you have to realize that-"

"Why didn't you say anything to me?"

"For the same reason that I haven't said a word about your past to Delko; it was something expressed in confidence," Horatio explained. "Maybe…maybe you came back to work too early."

All of a sudden Speed got off the couch. He walked toward the front door but stopped half way there. "You want to know what scares me the most?" he said in a hushed voice.

"What?" Horatio asked, walking up behind him.

"All my life I've felt…broken, shattered….and there's a part of me that wants it to stay that way…"

Horatio placed a hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. But Speed shrugged it off and headed back into the darkness of his bedroom. Horatio made no attempt to follow, knowing that it would have just made matters worse. This was something that was going to take time. He just didn't know how much time they had.


	16. It's Gotta Be You

**Chapter Sixteen: It's gotta be you**

The next morning Calleigh walked into the break room, happy to see that Delko was the only other person there. He was sitting at the table flipping through the newspaper and enjoying a cup of coffee. They rarely had time for such down moments while they were at work and she knew it was only a matter of moments before he finished his cup, folded up the paper, and went to work his case with Jake. Before that could happen she wanted to have a word with him about what was wrong with Speed. If anyone in the lab knew what was going on with the brooding scientist it would be his best friend. She grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and plopped into a seat across from him. He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the paper. She knew him too well; he wasn't reading any of the printed words on the paper.

"What's going on?" she asked, deciding to get straight to the point. "You and Speed barely say two words to each other in passing. When in the same room you guys don't even sit together, never mind make eye contact. People are starting to notice."

He looked up at her. "By 'people', who do you mean?"

"Frank and Jake are the only two that have expressed their concerns out loud," she said, taking a quick sip of her water. "But I'm sure that if they noticed the others have too."

"Great," he mumbled. He folded the paper. "Look, it's somewhat personal. We're just having…trouble getting back into the groove of things, I guess you could say."

"Oh, you are so lying," she responded.

He sighed. "Fine," he leaned across the table so she mimicked him. "For a while now I've been aware of these…feelings that I have for Speed. And…I told him…"

Calleigh's eyes got wide. She knew that something had been going on between them but this wasn't what she expected. She thought that maybe it was just a tiff between friends, that they were trying to iron out the few wrinkles that had formed in their friendship while Speed was on medical leave. But deep in the back of her mind she realized that the tension between the two had been caused by something more, something deeper. Why hadn't she seen it earlier that Delko was madly in love with Speed? She placed a hand on his. "Your secret is safe with me. But I have to know…how is our brooding boy taking this?"

Delko leaned back in his chair, his hands wrapped around the coffee mug. "Not well. He won't even talk to me anymore."

"I'm sorry," said Calleigh. And she really meant it. The last few months had been so hard on all of them but now it looked like things were getting even worse for Delko. "Maybe he just needs time to think, to sort things out. He did just return to work and there's a lot going on. Give him time," she soothed, "I'm sure he'll come around."

"He doesn't have to come around," Delko told her. "I just want him to say one way or the other so I know what to do. Being in the same room with him is starting to get uncomfortable."

--

Around lunchtime Calleigh found herself with another rare free moment. And instead of using it for lunch she went in search of Speed. She hadn't seen him all morning, not that that was anything new. He could be out working his case with Ryan or, since she'd seen Ryan, he could be holed up in the lab testing evidence. Either way she planned to find him and have a word with him. She wasn't going to bring up what Delko had told her earlier that morning because it really wasn't any of her business, even if it did pain her to see her friends suffering. What she said then still held true now; Speed had to sort things out for himself. As she walked down the hallway she thought about how much things had changed since Speed had been shot. Nobody was who they were before than. They seemed to be almost adrift at sea, struggling to remain in control of themselves. Coming upon the Trace Lab she slowed her pace and peered through the windows. But Tim wasn't there. She frowned. Where else would he be? Then she thought that maybe he was doing something with audio-visual. Before Cooper had been hired Speed spent a lot of time watching surveillance tapes. And if she knew him, habits were hard to break. She headed in the direction.

And found just what she was looking for.

Cooper was nowhere in sight but Speed was busily playing with one of the computers, his focus solely on the monitor. She cleared her throat to get his attention. "So this is where you've been hiding all day. You do know that Cooper gets paid to do things like this."

"I wanted to do it myself," he stated simply.

"Well alright," she drawled, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "What have you got that's so interesting?" She pulled up a chair beside him.

He glanced at her before looking back at the screen. "My dead DJ had a tape on him. There's a lot of background noise that I've been ciphering out little by little." He played the tape for her so she could get an idea of what he was talking about.

"Sounds like two people having a conversation in the world's busiest airport," she joked.

"Let me try this…" he suggested. He hit a few keys and the images on the monitor shifted. He hit play and they both listened in silence. The conversation was clearer than it had been a moment ago but that didn't make either one of them happy. Before either one of them could say anything Calleigh pulled her cell phone out and hit speed dial, calling Horatio to the AV Lab. While they waited neither one of them said anything. Though Calleigh did glance at Speed to see how he was handling the recent development. It might have been her imagination but she thought he might have developed a slight tremor in his right hand.

Five minutes passed before Horatio opened the door. "What have you got?"

Speed quickly explained how he'd come across the tape while working the club scene. Then he told his boss how he had spent the last few hours working on filtering out the background sounds. The message left behind was one that Horatio had to hear. He hit play and the three of them listened in silence to the conversation on the tape. Two distinct male voices, one with what sounded like an Australia accent, were discussing the Miami-Dade police force. Neither voice mentioned the three crimes the lab was currently working on but they did mention something about a hit and the price on someone's head. The Aussie asked about the man. His companion described someone without giving too many details, almost as though they knew that someone was listening to them. The talking ended abruptly as the tape ran out.

Turning to face his boss, Speed said, "They have to be talking about you, H. A highly respected person that's worked for more than one department? Neither voice sounds familiar to me but it sounds like you've pissed someone off. Big time."

Horatio actually smiled. "And that would be different from when?"


	17. Don't Want to Lose you Again

**Chapter Seventeen: Don't want to lose you again**

Sent back to the crime scene by orders of his boss, Speed found himself once again going over the club with a flashlight. The place had been closed for more than a day now and to say that the owner was displeased would have been an understatement. When Speed arrived with two uniformed officers and Ryan the man had been adamant that his establishment be allowed to open up. The only problem was that it remained a crime scene. And an even more important one now that they had the tape. When Speed explained to the club owner what the circumstances were the guy just threw his hands up and stormed off muttering under his breath. It wasn't his fault that someone had murdered two people in the club. He ignored the man's temper tantrum and found his way back to the dance floor. After instructing Ryan to check the back rooms he started going over the stage. As he sifted through the cords and instruments he noticed the tremor in his right hand. It hadn't been there when he arrived at work that morning. He pushed it out of his mind, concentrating on the work that needed to be done. Someone had put out a hit on his friend and he wasn't going to rest until they caught whoever it was on that tape.

There was nothing amongst the stuff on the stage. After his thorough search he figured that the stage rarely got used and was more of a decoration than anything else. Paying for bands to play the club didn't seem like something the owner would do, an unnecessary expense since he had a DJ that worked just fine. The DJ had been the one with the tape to begin with so he figured that it was time to search the DJ's booth a little more closely, like with a fine toothed comb. He was walking up the steps to do just that when his cell phone began to ring. He checked the number to see that it was Alexx. Answering his phone he listened as the medical examiner explained to him her findings on the autopsies of both bodies. When she was done he hung up. Ryan walked out onto the dance floor a heartbeat later.

"Check the bar," Speed said, gesturing toward the wooden structure along the wall opposite the stage. "According to Alexx both our victims were poisoned. She didn't find any puncture marks on the bodies so I'm thinking the ingested it without their knowledge."

"Poisoned spiked drinks," said Ryan as he headed for the bar. "Word gets out about this all the clubs are going to want them."

"It's a strange world that we live in," agreed Speed. Once again he began to go through the DJ's stuff. A good portion of the booth belonged to a rather impressive collection of music. But there was also a chair, a small table with a glass on it and cardboard box that he'd missed the first time through. Perhaps because it was concealed amongst the towering collection of music. He decided to hold off on it until he tested the glass on the table. There was a small amount of liquid in the bottom, a gold mine to someone like him. With an eye dropper he removed the liquid, placing it in a vial that went into an evidence envelope before being placed back into his kit. He grabbed a plastic bag and slipped the cup inside, placing it alongside the vial. Back at the lab he would test it for fingerprints and see if there were any that didn't match the dead disc jockey.

Then he went for the box. Shifting aside the stacks of CD's and albums he could hear Ryan tinkering with stuff at the bar. The box was little more than the size of his kit. But inside it contained a plethora of goods. He closed the flaps, deciding that it would be better to take the whole thing back to the lab and go through it there. Horatio didn't want them out in the field unless it was absolutely necessary and he saw no need to go through the box while at the club. He put it with his kit, then stood to see what Ryan was doing. The other CSI had lined the bar with glasses that had obviously been dirty. Speed watched as he took a sample of liquid from the few that had any left and then placed each glass in its own evidence bag. He held back in telling the younger man that he was going to have to test all those himself. Satisfied that they found all that they were going to he suggested that they pack it up and return to the lab. Ryan had no objections.

--

He ditched the evidence in the Trace Lab and left Ryan with his army of glasses. He sought out the comfort of the locker room, sitting on the bench in the silence. The tremor in his hand had gotten worse on the drive back to the lab. Clenching his fingers into a fist he tried to drive it away but his attempts failed. He thought about lashing out at one of the lockers but knew that it would solve his problem; it would only help him to release the emotions that were building up inside of him. He stood up and went to his locker, opening the door. From the top shelf he pulled out his bottle of pain medication. Popping the top he attempted to dump one of the pills into his hand. The tremor in his hand sent the contents of the bottle scattering over the floor of the locker room. In a heated moment of frustration he threw the bottle. Then sunk back onto the bench.

"Speed?"

He looked up to his boss walking toward him. He averted his gaze, looking anywhere but at Horatio or the pills on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" Horatio asked as he sat beside him. He took in the pills scattered about the area. "Something you want to talk about?"

"Not particularly," Speed remarked.

Horatio rested his elbows on his knees, his sunglasses in his hands. "When I first started out on the bomb squad I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. That was until that first bomb exploded while I was within range. Nobody got hurt but for weeks I was jumpy and my hands would shake whenever I got near a bomb, even when we were only practicing." Speed clenched his right hand into a fist again. "I think you should make an appointment with the department psychologist."

"I'm already visiting a psychologist once a week by order of my doctor," he pointed out.

"Unless that person has worked with officers before they won't be of much help, Speed. You need someone who works solely with people like us, someone that will understand what you're going through," Horatio explained.

Speed shook his head. "I'll be fine. It's just nervous energy. It'll go away soon."

A moment of silence passed before Horatio spoke again. "You have a tremor in your right hand. You can't even hold a bottle of medication, Speed. What if you get caught up in a fire fight? Will you be able to control your gun?"

He didn't say anything in reply.

"I'm not going to lose you again, Speed. Once is more than enough." Horatio stood. "Either make an appointment with the department psychologist or find yourself confined to the lab until that tremor goes away."

Horatio left as quietly as he had come, slipping out of the room like he'd never been there at all. Speed let his words sink in as he stared at his right hand. The tremor wasn't getting any better. If anything it had gotten worse in the last few minutes. Letting out a deep sigh he figured that it wouldn't hurt to make the appointment. He needed to refill his prescription of pain medication anyway.


	18. The One

**Note: **There is an announcement on my profile regarding fictions.

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: The One**

Speed made his appointment. As he walked the halls toward the department psychologist he thought about letting the matter drop and staying in the lab. What could it hurt? He'd get a lot of evidence processed without being in danger. Maybe it was what he needed to help him readjust. He had spent only a week confined to the lab before pressuring Horatio to let him back out into the field. He felt the need to prove to everyone that he was still capable of doing his job even though he nearly died. But while he was busy trying to convince them he forgot to convince himself. There was a part of him that feared going out into the field. Every single time he set foot on a crime scene he thought about that day, thought about the bullet tearing through his chest. He'd find himself in near panic. He was fine if he went from the lab to his apartment and back again. The panic attacks remained at bay. And he confessed all of this to the psychologist, leaving none of it out. What he didn't share with her was his problem with Delko. He tried not to think about that while on the job. He tried not to think about it all.

He shared more than he really wanted to with the psychologist and when their time was up he was pretty much convinced that she would recommend he be removed from his job. But she surprised him by explaining that what he was going through was completely normal for someone in his position. A lot of what she said he didn't remember as soon as he walked out the door but the simple fact that he wasn't going crazy made him feel better. What didn't make him happy was that along with his pain medication she wanted him to try antidepressants. He wanted to have a word with Horatio first. If word got out that he was taking antidepressants he was sure his job would be good as gone. That was something that he didn't want, even if he was afraid of going out in the field.

So he went in search of his boss. He walked through the lab but didn't find hide or hair of the lieutenant. When he ran into Jake the detective mentioned something about seeing Horatio headed out of the lab about five minutes ago. Speed knew that if he hurried he could catch him. Outside the sun was quickly disappearing behind a blanket of clouds that promised much needed rain. But the wind that kicked up promised something even more. Looking around the parking lot to see if he could locate his boss he was dismayed to see that all the company Hummers were still in the parking lot. He frowned, wondering what his next move would be. Turning to go back inside he noticed someone standing on the sidewalk near the entrance of the parking lot.

It was Horatio.

Speed made his way over to him as the sun vanished completely. "H, what are you doing out here?" The sudden gust of wind forced Speed to holler in order to be heard.

Horatio turned to watch him approach. Ignoring his question he said, "How did your appointment go?"

"She wants to put me on medication," he said, quickly explaining how things went. The meeting between him and the doctor was strictly confidential but Speed knew that he could share with Horatio what she'd said. If anyone understood it would be his boss. When he was done running through things he asked, "What do you think?"

"Try the medication for a week," Horatio suggested. "Then we'll take it from there."

"You're the boss," Speed muttered, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. The wind picked up again and a rumble of thunder rolled across the sky as lightning flashed in the distance. A heartbeat later it began to rain, starting out as a sprinkle and turning into a downpour. Horatio and Speed were able to make it to cover before the worst of the storm hit. Before going back into the lab, though, Speed placed a hand on his boss's shoulder. "H, something's been bothering me about this case you put me on."

"Explain."

"Well both victims work for the militia that's threatened the lab," he stated. "What has been bothering me is the tape. Why would a member of their own militia feel the need to tape them?"

"Sounds like a motive for murder to me," Horatio said. "Have we got the names of our victims?"

"Yeah, but Calleigh ran them through the database," Speed replied. "Nothing came up. It's almost like they don't exist."

"False names," Horatio stated as he pushed open the front door. "Check everything; AFIS, missing persons, even the FBI list. These people have names and history and families that love them. Let's find out who they are."

--

An hour later Speed was no closer to identifying any of the victims. But he had stumbled across a few more clues that proved he was right. They were trying to get out. He was beginning to think that the militia was like the mafia or a gang; easy to get into but once you wanted to leave it cost you your life. And that didn't sit well with him. Here he had four people that hated the cops for one reason or another. All of a sudden there's a plan that they don't agree with and they want out. Maybe they threaten to expose the plan which would make them a threat. That would be grounds for murder. But what he didn't understand is why four people that hated law enforcement wanted to help them, had sacrificed everything to get word out. It baffled him. He was heading toward Horatio's office, nearing the reception area when he heard someone talking. At first the voice didn't really register, his thoughts so wrapped up in other things. But as he drew closer and the words became more intelligible a warning bell went off in his head. The voice, he'd heard it only one time before.

On the tape threatening Horatio.

He moved faster, almost running into the reception area but by the time he got there the Australian man was already gone. Sitting on one corner of the receptionist's desk was a small brown box. Instantly he knew that whatever was in the box didn't bode well for any of them. Without missing a beat he pulled the alarm that meant everyone was to empty the building. Then he pulled out his cell phone to call Horatio and inform him of the package that had just been delivered.


	19. No One Else Comes Close

**Chapter Nineteen: No One Else Comes Close**

The building was quickly evacuated, all personal leaving by the nearest exit and going to stand on the far side of the parking lot. They practiced the drill at least twice a month to make sure that everyone understood. All evidence in the middle of being processed was locked in the safe each room contained, though tests continued to run. Places like the Gun Locker and Morgue were locked down tight so that no one could get in to take anything. There would be no case of body snatching at this lab. The only two people that remained in the lab were Speed and Horatio. The younger man stayed in reception, waiting for his boss to show up. And when he did he looked less than pleased that Speed was still standing there. He took one look at the box and decided to call the bomb squad to be on the safe side, though he judged that it wasn't quite the threat he'd been expecting. At least not so soon. The call for bomb squad was placed and Horatio directed Speed out of the lab.

They stopped at the front door. "Go join the others, Speed."

"Aren't you coming?" Speed looked back over his shoulder at his boss.

Horatio shook his head. "No, I'm going to remain right here until the bomb squad arrives."

"Then I'll wait with you."

"I don't want you near the building Speed," Horatio said with concern in his voice. "The building was evacuated quite a few minutes ago. The others are most likely worried about you. Go. And that's an order."

"H-"

"Speed…" There was an edge to Horatio's tone which was quite unusual when he was talking to his friends; it was something he reserved for criminals and crooks. "And tell the others not to come anywhere near here until the all clear is given."

"Sure," he muttered as he headed across the parking lot. He wanted to stay behind with Horatio to insure that the other man stayed safe. There was a feeling of…something almost like doom building deep in his gut and he didn't like it. Something unpleasant was going to happen before the day was through. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he threaded his way through the cars in the parking lot. The other workers were talking amongst themselves, not really worried about what was going on; to them it was just another drill, another day at work. None of them realized that a threat had been made against the lab. None of them realized that their lives could very well end just because they chose to work where they did. The closer he got the more upset he became with them. There was possibly a bomb inside the lab and most of them were treating this time as an extra break, laughing and smiling. He felt the urge to throw up but managed to keep from doing so.

He was a few feet away when someone broke from the pack and ran toward him. Calleigh threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"Uh, Cal," he said, made somewhat uncomfortable by her actions. Looking over her shoulder he saw Jake shake his head. Delko averted his gaze, gazing at the ground.

She let her arms slip from his neck and took firm hold of his hand, walking him toward the others. "I was worried, Speed. You weren't here and neither was Horatio. I kept imagining all these awful things…Is everything okay? This isn't a drill is it?"

By now they had joined the others and they were looking to him for answers. He looked at Calleigh. "Remember that voice, the guy with the accent that was on the tape?" When she nodded that she knew what he was talking about he continued. "Well he was here and he left behind a package. Horatio wants to make sure that it's not a bomb or something along those lines." As if on cue three vehicles entered the parking lot with bold print on the side claiming them as property of the bomb squad. A hush fell over the crowd as the knowledge that something serious was amiss settled over them. It was no longer just drill.

Speed took the opportunity to slip away well all the others were occupied with what was going on. He found a tree not too far away from the lab at the farthest reaches of the property and leaned against it, his arms crossed over his chest. He was a mix of emotion, a bundle of nervous energy and he didn't want to be around anyone else until he got control of himself. The tremor in his hand was still there, stronger than ever, another reason he kept his arms crossed. He didn't want anyone to see it. Closing his eyes he inhaled the scent of the rain that had passed through not so long ago, though the sun had already removed most of the evidence left by the storm, the scent of the cleansing remained a little while longer. With his eyes closed he could hear the sound of someone walking on the grass toward him. And he had a pretty good hunch who it was.

"Looks like they're going to be clearing the place soon," Delko said as he stepped up beside Speed.

"That's good news," Speed replied. He kept his eyes shut and made no attempt to move.

A moment passed before Delko spoke again. "I was worried about you when you didn't come out of the building right away…I thought that maybe something had happened to you."

"I was waiting for H."

Delko went on as though Speed hadn't said anything. "I had this horrible feeling that I wasn't going to be seeing you again. There's an alarm but you aren't there and…my mind went on this rather depressingly dark path throwing out pictures of what might have happened. The thought of losing you…no one comes close to you, Tim. No one."

He finally looked at his friend. "I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

"This…thing between us," he said with a gesture of his hand, "whatever you want to call it. I don't know what to do about it."

Delko shrugged. "An answer one way or the other would be nice."

"Eric…"

"I'm not going to go anywhere, Tim. I promise that I will always be here."

"Stop it," Speed snapped, though his heart wasn't really in it. "Just stop it."

Before Delko could say another word they were joined by Calleigh. She had a slight apprehensive smile on her face almost as though she realized she was interrupting something important. "Sorry to bother you guys but the buildings been cleared and the boss wants to talk with us." Delko fell into step beside her as they headed back toward the lab. He waited a moment longer, releasing a deep breath as he tried to still the tremor in his hand.


	20. Incomplete

**Chapter Twenty: Incomplete**

He never quite made it back to the lab as he fell to his knees in the drying grass, a migraine coming over him. He forced his eyes closed to block out the harsh light of the sun. It felt like someone was going to town with a jackhammer in his head and he wanted it to go away. Everything else was forgotten as he tried to fight through the pain, as he tried to retain whatever composure he had. And as suddenly as the pain had come on it was gone, almost like it had never been there at all. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Horatio crouched in front of him, fiddling with his sunglasses. He expected his boss to say something, anything about what was going on but Horatio surprised him. He handed Speed his sunglasses then stood, offering his hand in assistance. Speed was grateful for the protection the shades gave him as he grab hold of Horatio's hand and got back on his feet. The tremor in his hand was gone, another thing to be grateful for. Without a word shared between them they started back toward the lab. He was surprised that Horatio didn't lecture him or offer advice. But there were other things, more important things to worry about so he let it slip. As they entered the lab it was like nothing had happened, people going about their jobs as though they'd never been interrupted to begin with. He trailed after Horatio, reluctant to join the others in the meeting for fear that they would read something on his face. He fiddled with Horatio's glasses while thinking of giving them back. Then he figured he'd keep them, let the others see that he had them. Maybe it would send a message to Delko.

Horatio held open the door for him. This time they were meeting in an empty interrogation room. Quite a few people had probably gone to the break room to get a drink or have a late lunch. The schedule would be messed up for the rest of the afternoon. He knew almost immediately when Delko noticed the sunglasses. Instead of feeling good about it he found himself filled with regret and anger. Why was he doing this to someone he considered his best friend? He looked away, ashamed to make eye contact with Delko, and saw the box sitting atop the table unopened. Calleigh was sitting at the table with Jake and Alexx while Delko went to join Ryan and Frank in the corner. He decided to remain standing where he was as he watched Horatio walk over to the box. Deemed not a threat it was okay for them to open it; which is exactly what Horatio did. Everyone held their breath as they waited to see what was inside.

Only after slipping on a pair of gloves did Horatio reach into the box. The first thing he pulled out was a piece of skin. "That's the militia tattoo," Speed said as he caught a glimpse of the ink. "None of our victims were missing their tattoo."

"Which means that we may have an unknown somewhere," Horatio said as he slipped the skin into a bag provided by Calleigh. "I want DNA testing done on that as soon as possible."

Next he pulled out a less than tasteful rendition of an officer lying on the ground covered in blood, his hands bound behind him. The medium looked to be a mix between charcoal and pastels. This was also slipped into a bag and marked for testing; hopefully for fingerprints. Horatio also wanted someone to go through the police database to see if the officer in the picture matched anyone on the force. Ryan said he would do it since he'd been a uniform not too long ago.

The last thing he withdrew from the box was a gun, a nine millimeter handgun, standard issue for the police. Almost instantly he realized that there was a smear of blood on the gun. He looked at Ryan. "Your job just got more important. It looks as though we have a missing officer. I want a report sent out that there's an officer down, everyone should be on alert."

Something had been bugging Speed since he walked into the room. And now the nagging had been kicked up a notch. He looked around at the others to see if they might have been experiencing the same thing. That's when it hit him. "Hey guys, where's Hagen?"

Horatio turned to Alexx. She shrugged. "He spent all morning down in the morgue with me. We chatted for a while but then he got…the process bothered him so he said he'd sit on the other side of the door. About an hour before the alarm went off he poked his head in, said that a call had come in and he had to leave."

He turned to Frank next. The sergeant looked just as baffled. "I don't know anything about a call. A few speeding tickets might have been handed out around that time but there was no major emergency. I would have contacted you guys if there was."

"So we have to assume that whoever called Hagen is the person that took him," Horatio mused as he pulled out his cell phone and quickly dialed the detective's number. They all waited in silence to see if anyone picked up on the other end. But as expected, no one did. "Put out an all points bulletin. Detective Hagen is MIA and presumed hurt. I need this gun taken to Valera to have the blood tested so that we can confirm that it belongs to him."

As soon as the weapon had been slipped into a clear plastic evidence bag Speed took hold of it. He left the room before the others because he didn't want to get left alone with Horatio or Delko. Judging by the identical looks on their faces they were both thinking about him and how close they'd come to losing him. He didn't want to be reminded once again of his own mortality. And he didn't want the others thinking about him, they needed to concentrate on finding the detective before it was too late. As he headed toward the DNA Lab he noticed that the tremor in his right hand had returned once again.


	21. Just Want You To Know

**Chapter Twenty-one: Just want you to Know**

How he managed to fall asleep at work was beyond him. The worries of the day must have exhausted him mentally and his body hurt physically. There was the dull throb of pain in his chest, the ache in his neck from the position he'd been sleeping in, and there was a low hum in his head that might have been the beginning of a headache. He ground the palms of his hands into his eyes to chase away the sleep, waiting for someone to yell at him for sleeping on the job. But he was the only one in the room. Almost on autopilot he reached for his cell phone to check if he missed any calls. He hadn't. The next thing he did was check his watch. His shift had ended nearly an hour ago so someone must have been aware that he was sleeping on the job. As he pushed his stool away from the table he wondered how long he'd been asleep and how much work had been done while he was out. There was one way to find out, ask someone. But what if by chance they weren't aware that he'd been sleeping? Yawning and stretching he headed for the hallway. With the shift over he figured there was only one person he could count on for hanging around after hours.

He knocked on the door to Horatio's office. A second later he opened it to find his boss writing something in a file that lay open atop his desk. He cleared his throat somewhat nervously, thinking that perhaps this hadn't been the best idea. He'd been slipping up a lot on the job lately and falling asleep when a detective was missing only made matters worse. When he settled into one of the chairs across from Horatio he didn't find the comfort that he usually did. This time he'd fucked up.

Horatio looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. "Enjoy your rest?"

If he had been the blushing type that would have been the prime moment. "Uh…I…" He licked his lips somewhat nervously.

"Don't worry about it, Speed," Horatio said, letting the pen rest on the desk. "I figured you weren't sleeping all that well at home so I instructed the others to let you be. However, I'd like for it not to happen again, if possible. We're working on a rather delicate case and I need my best investigators on it…"

"I'm sorry, H, really. I have been having issues getting to sleep or staying that way but I never thought it would catch up with me at work," he explained feeling guilty the entire time. "So what did I miss?"

"The blood test on the gun came back positive, it belongs to Hagen," replied Horatio with a voice full of emotion. "At the time being he's still missing and we have no leads as to where he could possibly be. I sent Frank and Jake out to check on an old warehouse known to belong to the militia. Though they found boxes of canned food they didn't find evidence of the group having been there in a few weeks, maybe months. As much as I hate to say it we have hit a brick wall. There's something we're missing."

"How about that tattoo?"

"DNA belongs to an unknown but I'm sure we've have a victim that we just haven't found yet," Horatio told him.

Speed shifted somewhat uncomfortably in his chair. "Is there something I can help with? I mean, I feel bad for falling asleep while everyone else did their jobs…"

"At the moment I don't have anything for anyone to do," he said. "All our leads have become dead ends. Unless they try to contact us or slip up we've got nothing and can't go anywhere. But I thank you for the offer. You should go home and try to catch a few more hours in your bed. I want you to be well rested tomorrow."

"All right," Speed said. He stood from the chair and headed toward the door. He looked back over his shoulder, his hand on the doorknob. "Don't work yourself too hard, H. Don't worry, we'll find him. They always manage to slip up in the long run."

--

The night air felt so refreshing and cool when he stepped out of the building that instead of heading for his motorcycle he opted to go for a walk around the block. He figured that the walk would be a good way to get the blood circulating through his body and help wake him up a bit more so that he could drive home. As usual the streets were far from empty, many people working late or going out to party at one of the many clubs in downtown Miami. There was a time in his life when he would have been one of those people but lately he hadn't felt much like himself. He did miss hanging out with Delko and Calleigh at the clubs, having a drink and doing some dancing. But he couldn't find it within himself to party it up when he felt like he was minutes away from having a breakdown. And thinking about Delko made him feel guilty all over again. He realized that his behavior was harming his friendship with the other man, the one that had confessed his love. What he'd said earlier that day about not knowing what to do was true, he had no clue what he was going to do. He was unsure of how he felt for his friend and even if there were feelings of love he'd be afraid to act on them. His past wouldn't let him free. Or was it the fact that he wouldn't let it go?

Shoving his hands into his pockets he walked around the corner, slipping into a dark patch on the sidewalk. He wasn't even thinking about his safety. It was something he often neglected to dwell on, perhaps because he usually walked around with a gun and it gave him a sense of security. After the shooting in the jewelry store he'd become somewhat obsessed with keeping his gun clean. He never wanted to relive that day. He began to wonder if it was a bad thing to rely so much on his gun; which he could feel in the holster on his hip, the weight comforting.

Someone driving down the road honked. He looked to see a group of rowdy teens driving a bit over the speed limit. He knew that if they weren't careful they would end up in the hospital or even in Alexx's morgue. He shook his head, wondering why people felt the need to drive recklessly. His attention on the car full of teens he didn't noticed the black shadow that was heading toward him. Not until it was too late. The figure grabbed him roughly by the upper arm, nails digging into his shirt and causing him to let out a grunt of pain. Before he could fully register what was happening he was being forced backward, stumbling on the dark sidewalk. Then he was swung around, his body stopping when it connected with a brick wall, his breath hitching. He thought about going for his gun but the person in front of him stopped those thoughts in one simple motion.

The figure had a gun.

One that he pressed to Speed's chest.

Right over the scar.

He put his hands up and tried not to let panic get a good hold of him. But just as he felt like he was going to unravel the gun eased away from his chest, the figure letting it drop away. He still made no move for his gun knowing that it might very well be the last move he ever made. For a moment neither one of them moved and neither one of them spoke. He was beginning to think that nothing was going to happen when the figure raised the gun again, this time pointing it at Speed's head.

Speed opened his mouth to say something. He was cut off by the gunman. "I could kill you…they would love me if I did but…I should just shoot you and get it over with…"

"Please…" Speed managed to choke out.

"Shut up," the gunman barked, pressing the barrel against Speed's forehead. "I'm not going….I can't….dammit. Forget about that detective. Tell them to forget about him or there will be consequences…you have to know…there are consequences," the guy said, his voice dropping down to a panicked whisper. "Don't piss them off…don't…the detective, forget about him. He's a lost cause…"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Instead of answering him with words the gunman swung his hand out. Speed knew what was coming and tried to move but he was too slow to react, the butt of the gun connecting with his head. He fell to his knees, a hand going to the wound and coming away sticky with blood. He reached for his gun too late, the gunman having already faded into the darkness. He sat heavily on the ground, his back resting against the brick wall. He winced in pain as the headache began to settle in. His inner voice kept telling him that he had to get back to the lab and relay the message to Horatio but he couldn't bring himself to move. The panic that he'd been trying to keep at bay was finally getting a good foothold on him, his body trembling. A moment later he felt the tears sliding down his cheeks.


	22. Weird World

**Note: **Important update on profile.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-two: Weird World**

Delko got to work the next day rather early in the morning. He'd been unable to sleep any longer, his mind racing with all the thoughts he'd been unable to shut up for days. When he told Speed how he felt he figured that everything would be okay and figured out. One way or the other he expected to get a straight answer. He would have accepted any answer instead he was getting mixed signals from the other scientist. Though Speed kept turning him away he never once said that he wasn't interested. He never sent Delko away, just told him to stop; which meant that there was something more that wasn't being said. Maybe it was time to let things go, to forget about the way he felt for his friends and get on with his life. For months he'd been able to live with his feelings in secret and he saw no reason why he couldn't go back to that. If having Speed as a friend was all he could have then he would settle for that. As long as Speed remained part of his life it didn't matter all that much to him. Though he would rather have something beyond friendship he'd take what he could get.

Walking into the lab he smiled and waved at Calleigh who was talking with Jake. The two of them had fallen back into their old ways when Jake joined the team. He was happy to see Calleigh so happy every day, the smile on her face almost permanent. With Hagen around, though, things had been uncomfortable as they usually got when old flames and new ones ended up in the same room. He caught himself wondering how their relationship was working out now that Hagen was missing. Did Calleigh dwell on it too much?

He rounded the next corner only to run into Ryan. The somewhat obsessive scientist grabbed him by the arm. "Hey, you haven't seen Speed this morning have you?"

"No," he replied slowly. "Is there something wrong? Did something happen to him?" The worry began to settle and grow at an amazingly rapid speed.

Ryan looked back over his shoulder. "He's in one of the interrogation rooms with Horatio and a suspect."

"So?" he inquired. Then said, "Wait, a suspect this early in the morning?"

"I haven't the faintest clue," Ryan shrugged it off.

"What does it have to do with me seeing Speed?"

Ryan averted his gaze, unable to look Delko in the eye. "Well, I'm not sure what happened since as far as I know no one has actually spoken with Speed or Horatio, but…"

Delko didn't want to hear it from Ryan so he brushed past the other scientist and headed toward the interrogation rooms. When he got there he saw a man with wrinkled clothes, a serious case of five-o-clock shadow and unruly brown hair sitting at the table. Across from him sat Horatio. Leaning against the wall behind Horatio was Speed, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes on the floor. The way he was standing it was easy for Delko to see the somewhat fresh cut along the side of Speed's head. All his years as a crime scene investigator he realized the mark as one made by someone who'd been hit with a gun. He could also tell that the cut had come from sometime last night. He wanted to rush into the room and start questioning Speed about what happened but knew that Horatio wouldn't appreciate the interruption while he was talking to a suspect. So he stood his ground waiting for things to be over, waiting for that moment he could talk to Speed.

--

Horatio looked at the man sitting across the table from him. He was unsure what to say to the edgy man. For the last hour he'd been babbling incoherently as he tried to get them to understand something about Hagen and the militia. He refused to believe that the detective had been killed by the group of cop haters but the more the guy rambled the more he was beginning to think it was a likely possibility. He thought about looking back over his shoulder at Speed to see how his friend was holding on but knew that it wouldn't do either one of them any god. Fresh in his mind were the images of Speed stumbling back into the parking lot last night, blood running down the side of his head. Horatio had taken him back into the lab to see to his wound and ask him what happened. That's when Speed explained that he'd been attacked by one of the militia members. He tried to recount exactly what the guy said but had been unable to make sense of them, something lost in translation. After making sure that Speed was fine he drove him home and then had Frank pick him up that morning. No sooner had Speed walked through the door then the guy across from him showed up. He confessed to attacking a cop the night before. Horatio knew instantly who he was talking about and demanded that he be the one to interrogate the guy. He brought Speed with him hoping that it would help ease any fears that he might have.

"It's been twenty minutes and you haven't made a lick of sense," Horatio stated. "I want to know why you attacked my CSI last night. What did he ever do to you?"

"He's a cop….he….guns get pointed at him every day," the man said in reply, looking over H's shoulder to glance at Speed.

"True," Horatio agreed. "But this one is different. He's a damn good friend of mine."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to make things better," said Horatio. He was managing, just barely, to keep his anger in check. "Do you have any idea what you've done? You jumped a man in the dark, an officer who nearly lost his life months ago when he was shot in the chest. The exact same spot that you leveled your gun at. You…"

"I'm sorry," the guy just about yelled. "I didn't know." He began to rock back and forth in the chair. "I didn't mean….I'm sorry…."

"Tell me why you said what you did about Detective Hagen."

The man shook his head, tears running breaking free. "They're going to kill me…I can't….no…"

Horatio sighed. "Something made you turn yourself in. For someone who's sworn to hate cops you seem to find yourself in the company of a lot of them. By your own choice. How do you think that's going to look when word gets back to your friends?"

The guy's eyes got wide with fear. "You wouldn't….no….couldn't…"

"You have no idea what I'm capable of doing," Horatio stated. "If you don't want to talk then you can sit in a cell. I'm booking you on charges of assaulting an officer and carrying a concealed weapon."

An officer came into the room with a pair of handcuffs, slapping them on the suspect's wrists. The guy muttered under his breath on the way out of the room, silence settling over the place once he was gone. Speed walked over to the table so that he was standing by Horatio when he pushed back his chair. He stood. "How odd that the man should turn himself in…"

"I don't get it," Speed said. it was the first time he'd said anything since the interrogation began. "The guy threatens to kill me one night and the next day he's turning himself in? But he won't say anything? I don't get it."

"We should know better than anyone that life doesn't always make sense." Horatio picked up his sunglasses off the table. "I think that you should have a word with Delko…"

At first Speed wasn't sure what his friend meant until he looked out the glass and saw Delko standing there looking somewhat pale and pissed at the same time. He sighed, knowing what was in store but also knowing that Horatio was right. That didn't mean he looked forward to the conversation.


	23. I Still

Note: Sorry for the delay. I'm adjusting to a new schedule.

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**Chapter Twenty-three: I Still…**

They didn't talk in the hallway. Instead they tried to find a secluded place where it could be just the two of them. Speed wasn't looking forward to having this talk with Delko but it was inevitable so he figured it would be best to just get it done and over with. However, that didn't mean that he wanted everyone else in the lab to hear it. A few minutes after the interrogation he slipped into the silence of the locker room, Delko right behind him. He heard the door lock, allowing them more privacy. In an attempt to draw things out as long as he could Speed headed down one of the rows and sat on the bench. Delko followed him, traced his every step, his arms crossed over his chest. Instead of sitting he opted to stand in front of Speed, leaning back against someone's locker. For a while neither one of them said anything, not really knowing where to start.

Finally Speed couldn't take it anymore. "It's nothing serious, just a cut, not anything worth worrying about."

"Where did you get it?"

He closed his eyes, having known that would be coming. "When I left the lab last night I wanted to go for a walk around the block…just to clear my head and wake myself up a bit more." He paused and took a deep breath, his eyes remaining closed. "I turned this corner and was distracted by a bunch of teens in a car. They were being rowdy. This guy jumped me, slammed me back against a wall and held a gun…" He choked on the words, reliving the moment. He knew that the pain in his back wasn't really there but he couldn't be so sure about the pain in his chest. "He held a gun to my head and then he pointed it at my chest…"

"Speed…"

"He started talking, muttering about Hagen and how we should forget about him. All I could think about was that gun…"

Delko settled on the bench beside Speed, placing a hand on his knee in an attempt to offer comfort. "I'm sorry that I asked. But I was worried about you…after seeing you brought down by that migraine…the last thing you need is a blow to the head. Hell, you've had a shitty couple of months."

Speed smiled despite himself, looking at the floor. "Yeah."

"So….was that the guy, the one you were interrogating?"

"Yep, turned himself in this morning and I still don't understand why since he won't tell us anything," Speed grumbled.

"Nothing? So we still have no idea how Hagen is fairing or even where he is…?"

Speed shook his head. Silence settled over them once again. The ticking of a clock high up on the wall was the only thing that either one of them could hear. But it wasn't the sound of silence that bothered Speed. It was having Delko's hand on his knee that bothered him. At first he didn't even really register that it was there, his mind trying to chase away the images while attempted to ignore the pain in his chest. Now all he could focus on was the heat passing between them. He resisted the urge to let a shiver run down his spine. Despite himself he was beginning to think that all of Delko's advances were paying off. And that really got to him. There were things in his past that he didn't want to forget, feelings that he didn't want to relive. It took all the strength he had to resist reaching out to touch Delko in turn. He knew that if he allowed that to happen that things would progress and that could not happen.

It would not happen.

"Speed…"

"Eric…" He was dismayed to hear the fragile tone of his voice, barely more than a whisper.

Reaching out Delko cupped Speed's cheek in his hand, turning his head and forcing his friend to look at him. "I know that I keep telling you this but…I love you Speed. I'm always going to love you and…" He let the words die on his lips, afraid that if he said more that it would be the end of everything.

And that's when he slipped up. Speed let himself stare into Delko's brown eyes and felt himself getting swept away. He could feel the increased beating of his heart, the flush in his cheeks. He had to stop this before it could go any further but he couldn't bring himself to move, afraid that if he did he would shatter. It had been years since he felt like this and in that time he'd almost forgotten what is was like to let himself fall in love. For years he'd let the pain of memories control his every moves. That pain erased all the good that should have been there for him to remember. Now he couldn't find those moments, no matter how much he searched for them; all he could find was pain.

He resisted the urge to lean into Delko, to seek the comfort that he so desperately needed. Instead he closed his eyes and took hold of Delko's wrist, gently pulling his hand away. "Please…"

Delko manipulated things, taking Speed's hand in his, the grip firm. "I don't really understand why you feel like being so…" He couldn't think of the word he wanted. "Why are you so reluctant to let me love you, Speed? What are you afraid will happen?"

Speed opened his mouth to say something, a lie that he hoped would pacify his friend until the next time they were alone but he didn't have to worry. He was saved by the bell, someone knocking on the locked door to the locker room. In that instant the mood was shattered, the air lighter. A fraction of a second later he heard Calleigh calling out to them, something about them being needed for a crime scene. Another crime scene meant that someone's loved one had been taken from the world. It only served to remind him day after day the pain of his past. For the first time in the last few days he began to think that perhaps he should have gotten out of town. Why had he been foolish enough to return?

As he watched Delko walk toward the door he got the answer to his question. There were some things that he just couldn't leave behind.


	24. Poster Girl

Note: You guys are definitely getting my interested peaked in writing more for this story.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-four: Poster Girl**

This time the case was an all hands on deck situation. Delko opted to ride with Ryan leaving Speed to go along with Calleigh. Both Horatio and Jake were already on the scene. On the ride to the scene Calleigh talked almost non-stop about things that didn't really have any relevance. She could sense that there was something bothering Speed but knew that it wasn't something he wanted to talk about. So she tried to dispel the funk he was in by constantly chattering away. Her mother used to tell her that she talked too much when she was younger but really, it was something that she did when she was nervous. By now everyone in the lab was aware that something was going on between Speed and Delko. The rumors and theories were the talk of breaks and lunchtime. She hated knowing that only she and Horatio were aware of the true reasons behind the growing anxiety between the two male detectives. What she didn't know was the true reason why Speed was reluctant to give his heart away.

They pulled up at the scene, neither one of them really aware of what was going on, only that this was an important crime scene. She prayed that it didn't have anything to do with the death of Hagen. Though she was currently dating Jake once again there remained within her feelings for the damaged detective. She wanted to see him returned safely, in one piece. Though she was willing to settle for alive, even if it meant he had to spend a few months in the hospital. If he died…

Alexx was standing in the front yard with an unreadable expression on her face. Calleigh find that slightly disturbing because the medical examiner very rarely let her job get to her. She would talk to the dead in an attempt to keep them alive but aside from that she kept her emotions in check. The only other time Calleigh could recall seeing such a look on Alexx's face was when Speed got shot. There had been that fear that Speed would end up on her autopsy table. Now more than ever she prayed that the scene had nothing to do with Hagen but there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. To her complete surprise Speed reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She offered him a thankful smile. That was when she realized that even though they were all dealing with their own dilemmas they had each other. Maybe when they got back to the lab she would have a word with Speed and see if she could be of any help in the situation between him and Delko. She didn't like seeing the two of them so torn apart.

"How bad is it, Alexx?" Speed asked. The tone of his voice brought Calleigh back to a time when he'd been more himself, back before the shooting. "It isn't…?"

The medical examiner quickly shook her head. "No, it's not Hagen. Bless his heart, may he never have to go through what that poor girl did."

"That bad?" Calleigh heard a slight tremor in her voice.

"I only hope that you guys can catch the bastard that did this to her," Alexx said with a fire in her voice, one that only she could muster up.

The two forensic scientists headed for the small house, their minds each thinking of the worst case scenario. Something had clearly shaken up Alexx and that was never a good sign. She dealt with dead people for a living, they all did. Over the years they'd seen some pretty cruel acts of murder and torture, hatred that went to the extreme. Though the feeling of remorse and disgust never went away it did dull with each passing day, with each heinous crime scene that the processed.

There was a low murmur of voices and the two of them followed them. Calleigh made sure that she was in front of Speed even though she felt weak in the knees. She wanted to see the scene before him so that she could block his way if it turned out to be necessary. Though if it had been one of their own chances are that Horatio would have excluded Speed. They walked into what turned out to be a screened in porch of some sort. The scene caught her by surprise and she stopped dead in her tracks, Speed bumping into her.

There was blood everywhere. The room reeked of it. Furniture had been knocked over, papers had been scattered. The body of a young looking woman lay amongst the chaos. It was hard to make out her features through the multiple wounds, her clothing almost completely shredded. She managed to keep her breakfast down but just barely.

"Meet Heather Graham," Horatio said somewhat sadly.

Speed stepped around Calleigh almost like nothing was wrong. She wondered how he could be so lost one moment and stronger than the rest of them the next moment. "Heather Graham? You mean the girl in the commercials and on all the posters? That Heather Graham?"

"One and the same," Horatio said. The conversation Delko and Ryan were having outside drifted in through an open window.

"Why does that name sound so familiar?" Calleigh finally managed to ask.

"Because she was like one of our own," explained Horatio. "She became the poster child for law enforcement. She went to schools and talked to kids of all ages, told them how they should always ask to see an officer's badge to make sure that it's real. She knew the mayor. She hosted charity benefits for local law enforcement all the time. Because of her we were able to afford a lot of that new equipment in the lab."

Speed settled his kit on the floor in a spot that didn't look to contain any evidence. "Do you think this has something to do with that threat on the lab? Just one more message to us?"

"It looks that way but let's wait until the evidence can say one way or the other," their boss said, looking out toward the backyard where Delko and Ryan were busy looking for clues. "This is one of our top priorities. I want to get this group before anyone else gets hurt."

"What about Hagen?" Calleigh asked as she walked further into the room, having regained most of her composure.

"I sent Jake and Tripp out on a tip," he told them. "If they find anything they'll let us know."


	25. Lose It All

**Chapter Twenty-five: Lose it all**

Speed closed the door to his apartment, making sure that he locked it. He couldn't believe what a day it had been. The tip on Hagen had gone nowhere which left them all frustrated. With each passing day it grew less and less likely that they would be able to find the detective alive. This militia group really had it in for the local law enforcement, something they'd proven by torturing and killing someone who helped raise funds for cops and firefighters and paramedics. He hated to think what they could be doing to an actual member of the police force. It turned his stomach, and he didn't even really know Hagen all that well. It didn't matter to him, though, because Hagen had always been a good detective. Not to mention, he had his share of demons and kept going strong. Speed liked knowing that he wasn't the only one in the lab that had to fight through the darkness of the day just to find a ray of sunlight that lasted a few hours or less. Oddly enough the simple realization that he wasn't alone in the dark kept him fighting even though he felt he was losing the battle.

In the kitchen he got himself a glass of water. Sitting by the sink were three bottles of medication. He popped the tops off two of them and fished out the recommended dosage. As he chased the pills down with water he wondered how much longer he would have to be on them. And how much longer he could resist the third bottle. The sleeping pills had been prescribed to him a few weeks back but he'd yet to give in and take one. He was afraid of getting addicted to them and that was the last thing that he ever wanted. Drugs never solved the problem; they helped to numb the pain, like alcohol. He left the glass in the sink and wandered back into the living room where he found Mite sleeping on the couch. He liked having the dog around because it kept the apartment from feeling too empty. There was no telling what he might have done if he was left alone for too long.

Just as he was about to settle on the couch there was a knock at the door. He debated whether or not it was worth answering. The visitor knocked again, harder. Speed walked toward the door. There was a baseball bat propped beside a bookshelf that he'd put there his first day out of the hospital. It gave him a sense of comfort. He knew that other officers would commonly go to the door with their guns in hand but he was well aware of how dangerous that could be. A baseball bat wouldn't bypass its target and head down the hall, piercing a wall and potentially harming someone else. He had more control over the bat than he did over a bullet. The visitor knocked a third time before he got to the door.

"Who is it?" he asked, his hand brushing the wood of the bat.

"It's me, open up," Delko called.

Speed closed his eyes, wishing that he'd just ignored the knocking. But it was too late now so he popped the lock and opened the door. Leaving the door open a crack he went back to the couch and plopped down beside Mite. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk," Delko said as he came inside. He made sure to close and lock the door behind him before he went over to the couch. He sat on the coffee table, his mind going back to the last time he'd been in Speed's apartment.

"Let me guess…you want to talk about us," Speed stated more than he asked. "Why can't you let this matter drop?"

"Because I love you and you haven't given me a straight answer one way or the other," Delko replied. He places his elbows on his legs and leaned slightly forward.

"So what you're telling me is that if I say 'no' you'll leave me alone?" hazard Speed.

Delko shook his head. "Not a chance."

"Why not?"

"Because it would be a lie and you know it," Delko said. "What is it that keeps you from letting me in, Speed?"

Speed looked away, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive manor. He really didn't want to go down this road; he didn't want to relive his past. But he had to or Delko would never leave him alone about it. "You really want to know?"

"It would be nice…"

He let out a deep sigh. "Fine. Back when I lived in New York I had this friend," he began. "We were like most young boys growing up, getting into trouble and causing mischief. We were inseparable. At one point we even discussed going to college together and having careers together. It wasn't until we were teens that we realized that there was more to the friendship, that we…loved each other. Of course, at that age we didn't really know what love was but we did know that we cared deeply for one another. That knowledge didn't really change anything. We still spent a lot of time together."

When he paused, Delko thought about interrupting him but knew that doing so could risk ending the conversation. He could see a slight far away gaze in his friend's eyes, wondering if maybe he'd finally pushed things too far. After a moment Speed continued.

"One day we were out having fun and there was this accident," his voice broke. Delko could see the glisten of unshed tears. "My friend ended up paralyzed. Everything changed after that moment. I still loved him and though he didn't show it as often I knew he still loved me. After the accident I gave up my studies to pursue medicine in hopes of finding a way to help him, to maybe give him back some of his mobility….A year went by and I wasn't getting any closer but we were. We were living together, talking about buying a house…" Speed stopped talking, the tears finally breaking free.

Delko reached out and placed a comforting hand on Speed's knee. He didn't want his friend to go through this anymore but it was too late, the old wounds were already open. "What happened?"

Speed drew in a deep breath. "Two years after the accident he…died while in surgery. For the longest time I refused to believe that he was gone. But eventually I couldn't live the lie anymore. I dropped out of college and sold all our stuff. I left home without saying anything to my parents. Eventually I ended up staying with my uncle here in the state. One thing led to another and I got a job with the lab under Megan working with Horatio."

Having finally heard the story behind the pain Delko realized what he'd been doing. He also knew what he had to do. "Speed, just because things went bad the first time doesn't mean history will repeat itself. You can't be afraid to fall in love the rest of your life or you won't really be living. Think about him, think what he would want for you; do you think he'd want you to suffer every day because he couldn't stay?"

Speed said nothing.

"I promise never to leave you, Speed. You think that you may have lost everything but you're still here and that tells me that you still hold onto hope. You still believe that there's a chance your heart will heal. The only problem is that you won't let it," Delko said lovingly. "Open your heart to the world and live again, Tim. Don't let the memories of the past drag you down…"


	26. Safest Place to Hide

**Chapter Twenty-six: Safest Place to Hide**

As he worked through the pile of evidence waiting for analysis he tried not to think about the conversation that took place the night before. He couldn't let his work suffer because of his personal life. The two had to remain separate or he would slowly start to unravel. But it wasn't as easy as it sounded. Every time he saw Delko, even if it was just a glimpse of him walking down the hallway, he recalled the last thing he said, the way he looked, the touch of his hand. And then he would have to fight to find his way back to the lab, back to the job at hand. He thought of telling Delko to just knock it off so that he could do what the city paid him to do, especially with Hagen still missing. Locked away within the Trace Lab he popped on his headphones to drown out the sounds of the world. It also allowed him to concentrate better. The hours slowly passed. He never once ventured from the room with the exception of going to the bathroom. He spoke to no one, his thoughts a muddled jumble of work and private life. At least he'd been able to get his work done, not messing up on any of the tests.

That was, until an hour after lunch. He mixed one of the liquids, placing it in the wrong vial and degrading a piece of evidence from a case. He took off his headphones, placing them on the table. All he wanted to do was kick or punch something in frustration but he couldn't. For one, it wasn't professional and second, it wouldn't accomplish anything. He did bite down on his lower lip until he drew blood. How could he have been so stupid? Going through the evidence bag he tried to find another sample. There was nothing. The sample in the vial was all that they had. He closed his eyes, trying not to think of the case he potentially just fucked up.

"Speed?"

Opening his eyes he looked at his boss. "Hey, H."

"Something you want to talk about?"

"I fucked up a piece of evidence from a case," he stated simply. There was no point in lying to his boss since sooner or later Horatio would find out anyway. Nothing happened in the lab without him knowing. He liked it that way, said it was a safety precaution. "And unfortunately, there is no way to remedy the situation."

"What case?" Horatio asked. He didn't sound, or look, upset. That was another thing about his boss that he'd come to love. Always about the evidence and catching the person responsible but understanding that mistakes happened.

Speed picked up the evidence bag that contained the case number. He racked his brain until he remembered which one it was. "Robbery at a gas station. The clerk was shot and last I heard still in the hospital."

"The evidence?"

"We'll never know now," he replied. He wanted to kick himself.

Horatio put his hands on his hips, his eyes focusing on a spot on the floor. "Gas stations have security cameras, Speed. Check with Cooper for the footage. Maybe we'll get lucky and that piece of evidence won't be important."

"All the evidence is important. That's what you've told me."

"True. But some is more important than others."

--

He wasn't able to slip away until his shift was nearly over. He'd set up all the tests that he could to run through the night. Closing the door he headed down the hall toward the AV Room so that he could have a word with Cooper about the footage at the gas station. He found the other man still busily typing away at his computer, inputting data from something. He knocked on the door frame before walking in so that he didn't catch his fellow investigator off guard. Nobody liked to be snuck up on especially in the lab.

Cooper swung to face him. "Hey, what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to know if you had any footage on the robbery at the gas station," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I fucked up a piece of evidence…"

"Sure, no problem." Cooper wheeled his chair to a table where he picked through a pile of video tapes. After a moment he held up two of them. "If I remember correctly the place only had these two tapes and would tape over footage every other day. Let's hope that we got something. Do you need these right now?" he asked, checking his watch.

Speed shook his head. "No, I just wanted to know if you had any. I know a lot of places that have security cameras that are just a front. That is until they get robbed or something and realize that having actual footage can solve a case. Get to them first thing tomorrow, please?"

"No problem."

"All right. Don't stay here too long. Go out and enjoy your time off. Before too long you'll be going crazy within these glass walls."

He left the AV tech with a smile on his face and typing away at his computer. Heading down the hallway he tried to make a plan on how to spend his evening. He could rent a movie, have some popcorn and hope to fall asleep without too much trouble. Or he could order out, read a book and be awake until the predawn hours. There were so many possibilities. He should really take Mite on a walk but he was a little apprehensive after his last encounter in the dark. The dog would try to protect him. However, one well placed bullet would put an end to the dog's life. He wasn't going to let that happen. Turning the corner Speed began to wonder if he was becoming some sort of hermit. He went from the lab to his apartment and back again. He didn't go out at night and he wasn't working in the field. Staying locked away within a building nearly every hour of the day couldn't be good for him mentally. He could always ask the department psych what she thought but…Horatio would find out and he'd be worried.

Time for a new plan.

As he neared the reception area he heard a commotion. A lot of people were standing in the area, most of them lab techs or other workers in the building. With shift ending he wasn't surprised to see them. Somehow this felt wrong, though. There was more to this gathering than the simple excuse of people getting ready to leave work. He saw Alexx standing with Ryan and Jake. Calleigh and Delko were a little further away from the crowd, peering out the windows. He opted to see what they were doing. Maybe they could explain what was happening.

Delko saw him coming. "Hope you weren't making any plans for the night."

"Why?"

Delko gestured to the window. "We're kind of stuck in here."

Speed looked outside. Around the base of the building, mixing in the parking lot with cars was a swarm of people. He couldn't tell from here what the signs said but he knew that they had something to do with the militia group they were trying to find. Speed closed his eyes, wondering how long before something happened and all hell broke loose.

"Any idea how long we're going to be stuck here?"

"Not a clue," Calleigh said.

"Fine," Speed turned on his heel, heading back down the hall. "I have more work I could be getting done." It sounded like a reasonable excuse. Truth be told he just felt safer being deeper in the lab and away from the windows.


	27. Siberia

**Chapter Twenty-seven: Siberia**

Concealed within the walls of the Trace Lab with his headphones on it was like he was in another time and space, floating free of the world around him. Let the protesters keep them confined in the lab for as long as they desired. There was food and places to sleep so he didn't have to worry about leaving. They had showers and there was even a change of clothing in his locker. By all rights he had no reason to go home. Staying at the lab all night gave him a chance to catch up on much needed work, maybe get some cases solved. He felt good about the idea of getting a shit load of work done. The only thing that nagging voice in the back of his mind could come up with was the fact that Mite was home alone, waiting for him to get back. Though that made him feel bad he knew it would only be a matter of time before the protesters were cleared out and they were allowed to go home. He just wanted to make the most of his time until then.

Popping another sample in the machine he hit the start button and whirled around on his stool to start work on the next sample. Since the little meeting the hallway he had yet to see anybody else. Either they were doing the same thing he was, catching up on work, or they were slacking off and just enjoying the extra hours, using them to catch up on everything but work. A part of him wanted to wander through the labyrinth of a lab to see what the others were doing with their time but that little part kept getting squished by the much larger half that kept telling him he needed to work. He wasn't about to admit it to anyone but he felt this increasing need to prove that he was still capable of doing his job. After all the shit that had been going down he didn't want to come across as the weak link. He could do this job. He could…

He peered through the microscope at the small red fiber from another case trying to get an idea of what material had been used to make it, or at least a general knowledge of the damned thing. He knew that something so small could end up being so important. He wanted to take his time studying it, testing it, getting as much information as he possibly could from it. But for some reason his mind started to wander. One minute he was thinking about the fiber and the next he was focusing on the horde of people keeping him captive within the lab. If the militia was busy pounding the pavement of the lab parking lot then what had they done with Hagen, if they did indeed have him? They hated police but would they really go so far as to kill one of the state's detectives? Did they really want to bring that sort of attention to themselves? Not only would they have to deal with the mayor and possibly even the governor, but there was the matter of Horatio and Calleigh. The two of them would tear into the militia group and leave nothing by the time they were done with them. He felt a tinge of guilt in his gut. He'd forgotten about Calleigh. She had a relationship with Hagen once. And he knew that Hagen really cared for her. He had been so consumed with his own problems that he hadn't taken any time to check up on her, see how she was handling this whole thing.

What kind of friend had he become?

Quickly, but efficiently, he finished doing the required tests on the piece of fiber, placing a tiny sample into one of the other machines. Turning off his music, placing his headphones on the work table, he left the trace lab behind. The first thing he decided to do was check and see how the protest was going. The clock in the reception area told him that it was nearing ten at night. Hopefully they would get a chance to go home soon. If anything, he wanted to make sure that Alexx got out so that she could see her children. Peering out the window he saw that things were still in full swing outside. He wondered if they were going to attempt to wait them out or if other counties would be called to help remove the protesters. It was a sticky situation, what with the mob outside not being fans of the cops.

Arms crossed over his chest he headed back into the depths of the lab, which was oddly quiet. At one point the thought that the others got out without him crossed his mind. But then he passed by the DNA lab to find the receptionist deep in conversation with Valera, the two of them oblivious to the situation around them. When he passed the AV room he could tell from the sounds within that Cooper and Delko and Ryan were up to no good, using the computer access to entertain themselves. So much for his thinking that the others would be using this time to get their work done. There was little doubt in his mind that if he sought out Horatio he would find the older man sitting behind his desk on the phone with somebody trying to get rid of the protesters.

He finally came across Calleigh when he stumbled into the breakroom for a bottle of water. She was flipping through one of the forensic journals, the expression on her face unreadable. He took one of the bottles from the fridge and settled in the chair across from her, studying the way her hair fell around her face, framing her southern beauty in gold. If he was into dating women he would waste no time in trying to make her his girlfriend. She was sweet with a touch of bulldog tenacity. She cared deeply about her friends but wasn't one to stand aside quietly when they did something wrong.

He wished he could be more like her sometimes.

"Calleigh…" he said, breaking the silence in the room.

She looked up at him, a smile on her lips, a slight shimmer in her eyes that he couldn't tell if it belonged to her happiness or unshed tears. "Well, hey Speed. How have you been enjoying our time in prison?"

"More like being in Siberia," he remarked, sipping his water. "I have used the time to catch up on some work, waiting for a few tests to finish." He swallowed down the slight nervousness that was starting to sink in. Why was he afraid to talk to her about something personal? Simple, because he was terrified of what it might bring up. "Look, I just wanted…I haven't been…" he fought to find the right words.

"What is it, Speed?"

"I…I just wanted to check on you, see if you were handling things okay," he finally managed to get out. "What with Hagen…"

The shimmer in her eyes disappeared and he felt like kicking himself. "It's hard," she admitted. "I keep expecting him to burst into the room with one of his ideas or to tell me that I can't do my job because it's too dangerous. To be honest, I never realized that I would miss him so much."

He reached across the table, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You know as well as I do that Horatio won't let anything happen to him. Even if it's just to keep his brother's partner alive. Hagen is a part of this team and without him…"

She actually smiled. "Nobody has asked me how I'm fairing, Speed. You're the first. Thank you."

"What are friends for?" He sipped the water again, the refreshing liquid wetting his whistle.

"Hey," she said all of a sudden, the light having returned to her eyes, flipping the magazine closed. "Why don't we go down to the shooting range and get in some practice? Just the two of us? It'll help the time go by faster and before you know it, those tests will be done."

"Fine by me," he agreed. In reality the last thing he wanted to do was be around guns. He knew that at some point he was going to have to get over the initial fear of gunfire but every time a gun went off he kept expecting to feel a bullet tear through his body. He often thought of heading down to the shooting range in the basement to practice alone but never got around to it, always making up bogus excuses to skip out. Maybe now was his chance. Calleigh would understand his reluctance. If he showed her the fear and showing fear was a weakness. He was not going to be weak. Still, against his better judgment he screwed the top on his bottle and followed her to the basement. He wanted to be a good friend. She really needed one at the moment. Even more than he did.


	28. Never Gone

**Chapter Twenty-eight: Never Gone**

Speed looked down at the table at the stack of paperwork that sat there. All of his work was done. All the evidence had been tested and identified. And he was tired. His eyes were sore and itchy, his back aching, and his mind ready to shut off for the next few hours. Thanks to the new glass walls he was able to gaze out at the hallway into the room across from the way and out the window; where the sun was currently bringing light to the early morning Florida sky. All night he had been sitting in the Trace Lab intent on keeping himself from thinking about the protesters outside, the fact that they weren't any closer to finding Hagan, and all the other problems that had been mucking up his life. Now his work was complete and he wanted nothing more than to crash somewhere comfortable for a few hours of sweet sleep. Unfortunately, he knew his chances of actually sleeping were slim. The minute he laid down his mind would start working overtime, bringing up all the grisly 'what if's' that were starting to take control of his life.

What if the militia decided that a peaceful protest wasn't their thing anymore? What if they were unable to find Hagan in time? What if they could find Hagan in time? What if he got hurt during this investigation? What if one of his colleagues and friends got hurt during the investigation? What if he finally gave into the advances of Delko?

He covered his mouth somewhat lazily as a yawn came upon him. When it passed he gathered up the stack of paper. There were quite a few detectives that would be happy to receive the information he currently held in his hands. And since nobody had been able to leave the building he figured it wouldn't hurt to get the reports handed out as soon as possible. That meant a trip down to one of the lower levels. Did he really want to put himself closer to the outside world and the anti-law enforcement protesters? Did he really want to be that close to harm's way? It was either that or remain sitting in the Trace Lab with nothing to do but bore holes in the wall with his steady gaze. On shuffling tired steps he started out into the hallway, heading for the elevator. Once again he passed by the AV room but this time the place was surprisingly quietly, the computers off. He noticed that the DNA Lab was empty, too. In fact, most of the rooms looked as though they had been vacated. Probably because the lab techs wanted to get some sleep, something he couldn't blame them for but he was envious. As he drew closer to the reception area and the elevator he heard a cacophony of voices.

Rounding the next corner he saw that most of the lab's employees were once again standing there gazing out the windows. What had the protesters done this time to gather their attention? He spotted Delko and Calleigh standing by one of the windows and made his way toward them, the stack of papers pressed against his chest as he crossed his arms. Calleigh smiled when she saw him.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked, another yawn sneaking up on him.

"Our favorite group is dispersing," she told him. "Horatio must have called the mayor or some friend that owed him a favor because the National Guard is outside."

He peered through the window to see that indeed she was telling the truth. The parking lot was full of uniformed officers of a different kind, their weapons high-powered and trained on the protesters. The parking lot was emptying out at an amazing rate. He smiled. "That means we can finally go home."

"Not really…" Calleigh muttered in dismay. She didn't even glance at her watch. "With Hagan missing…"

"What's with all the paperwork?" Delko asked, joining the conversation.

Speed looked down at the white sheets of paper pressed against his chest. "My work. I finished all the tests I needed to run…"

"All of them?" Ryan echoed as he came upon the group.

"There was nothing else to do."

Delko was smiling, a twinkle in his eye. "You could have caught some shut eye like the rest of us."

"Sleeping in the lab doesn't appeal to me," Speed was quick to lie. He didn't want them to know he wouldn't have been able to sleep here. Not with the group outside in the parking lot making him feel claustrophobic.

"Eric, I would like you to take Speed home for the day," Horatio spoke. The others hadn't even realized he was within hearing range of their conversation. He held out a hand. "I'll make sure that all your hard work gets to the proper people. You go home and get some sleep."

"I…"

"That's an order, Speed."

He relinquished the paperwork to his boss and let Delko lead him back through the labyrinth of the lab to the locker room so that he could gather his things. Before he could even fully register what had just happened he found himself outside in the morning light, a cool breeze caressing his skin. Members of the National Guard were still poking around the parking lot to make sure that things remained peaceful. He followed Delko to his truck, functioning almost completely on autopilot. Now that he was out of the lab he realized just how tired he was. On the drive to his apartment he fought hard to keep his eyes open, the music streaming through the speakers not enough to keep his mind awake. And Delko wasn't much help sitting behind the steering wheel in silence. When they reached his apartment he opted to take the elevator for once because he didn't have the energy to make it up the stairs. He wouldn't have told anyone but he was thankful to have Delko with him every step of the way, case his exhausted body just couldn't take it anymore.

Somehow he managed to get the key into the lock and open his apartment door. He stumbled inside, leaving his stuff in a heap off to one side. Mite was more than happy to see him, greeting him with a wagging tail and kisses. He gave the dog a half-hearted greeting, the bed in the next room calling his name. Without saying anything or even checking to make sure he closed the door he wandered into his bedroom where he promptly fell onto the comfortable mattress, his head hitting the pillow.

But sleep eluded him.

As he had feared the minute he was in bed his mind began to go on a rampage of fear, horrible thoughts flying around at great speed. He could feel his chest constricting as a panic attack tried to take hold of him. Then he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder as the bed dipped under added body weight. He opened his eyes to find that Delko had settled on the bed in front of him, a concerned look on his face.

"Let the fear go, Speed," he said quietly. "I'll be right here. Nobody is going to hurt you. I promise."

"You have to get back to work," he muttered.

"Horatio will understand." Delko patted him soothingly on the shoulder. "Get some sleep. I'll be out in the living room if you need me. I promise not to leave." He stood and walked toward the door.

"Eric," Speed called. He watched as his friend stopped in the doorway, his left hand resting on the frame, looking back over his shoulder. "Thank you."

Delko didn't say anything. He just smiled, slipping out into the living room.


	29. The Call

**Chapter Twenty-nine: The Call**

He slept soundly for hours, oblivious to the world around him. His slumber was deep, taking him to places he had not been since the shooting. For once his dreams did not torment him, did not force him awake in cold sweats, his heart beating fast like he'd run a marathon. Someone spoke his name. He felt a touch upon his shoulder. Then lower on his arm. They spoke his name again, this time louder, more firm. His world began to shake ever so slightly. Then he heard someone yelling his name, a pressure on his arm. It finally began to draw him from the depths of his slumber, his eyes fluttering open. He found himself gazing into Delko's brown eyes, his friend crouched beside the bed.

Delko smiled. "Boy, who would have thought of you as a sound sleeper?"

"I haven't really been one for a while now," Speed replied, rolling onto his back. "What's up?" He checked his watch, which was still on his wrist. It was nearing noon.

"We have to go in," Delko told him. "Horatio said he was sorry that he had to disturb you after sending you home to sleep but he really needs all hands on deck."

"Something happen?"

Delko shrugged, having climbed to his feet. "He wouldn't say over the phone. He just gave me an address and said to meet him there as soon as possible, that I should bring you with me. So let's go, get up, get dressed. We can grab you a bite to eat on the way."

"Yes, daddy," Speed mumbled as he threw back the covers. He climbed out of bed, heading toward his dresser. Delko left the bedroom without saying anything but he could still hear his friend poking around in other parts of the apartment. He pulled a tee-shirt out of one of the drawers without bothering to see what it was. Usually he wore nice dress shirts to work but he wasn't in the mood to fuss with buttons. Horatio wouldn't mind. All that mattered to him was his CSI's doing their job efficiently and professionally. And as long as they didn't look like complete slobs or street-walkers they were free to wear what they wanted. He slipped the shirt over his head and thought about changing his jeans but passed on the idea. Who was going to know they were the same jeans from the day before? And did it really matter? They were probably going to get dirty anyway. He tried to tame his wild hair but found that it wasn't as easy as he expected. Giving up he made sure to retrieve his badge and gun from the drawer of his nightstand before leaving his bedroom behind. He may have had only a few hours of sleep but he felt surprisingly refreshed and ready to face whatever had been thrown their way.

Delko was leaning against the wall by the front door waiting for him. "Are you ready to do this?"

"Like I have any choice," Speed replied, slipping on his shoes. "So what do you think has happened that Horatio can't tell us over the phone?"

His friend shrugged. "Not a clue. I flipped on the tee-vee to see if maybe there was some breaking news or something but there's nothing. Whatever it is the media hasn't caught wind of it yet."

"Surprising, and somewhat shocking," Speed remarked.

"Tell me about it," Delko said. He opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. "Oh, don't worry about your dog. I fed him while you were resting."

"Thanks." Speed closed the door to his apartment, locking it. Before long they were stepping outside into the bright glare of the Miami sun. He was thankful to have remembered to grab his shades off the kitchen counter before leaving. The worst thing he could have done would be to forget them. Investigators missed evidence when they had to squint because of the bright sun. He climbed into the passenger side of Delko's truck. "I can't wait to get back on my bike."

"That thing is a death machine," Delko commented, putting the key in the ignition and starting the engine.

"Just because you can't handle two wheels and play with the big boys…"

Delko chuckled, pulling out of the parking space.

--

Fifteen minutes later he was pulling up on the crime scene that Horatio had given him directions to. Normally he would have run by the lab but H informed him that there was no time and that his and Speed's kits would be waiting at the scene. As he parked behind one the of lab's Hummers, shutting off the engine, he quickly glanced over at Speed. For some reason he felt unease about the sudden change in his friend's demeanor. Over the last month or so he'd been kind of dark, moody. More so than typical. Now all of sudden he seemed like his old self; moody but in an upbeat way. He wondered if maybe something was up and perhaps he should say something to their boss. They met around the front of the truck.

"I'll get our kits," Speed said. "Why don't you go see if you can wrestle the big secret out of H?"

"All right," Delko agreed. He headed across the expanse of green toward the water front. They were near the beach but not close enough that the crime scene spread into the sand and rocks. Now Delko understood why there weren't many reporters in the area. It wasn't a stretch of beach that would have been popular with tourists and locals alike. There were too many rocks, even boulders. This was a lone stretch of beach. And yet there was a car parked haphazardly in the sand, all four doors open. He found Horatio standing near a palm tree, his hands on his hips, his eyes trained on something on the ground. "Hey, H, what have we got?"

His boss looked at him. "Where's Speed?"

Delko pointed back toward the vehicles. "Getting our kits. He wanted me to see what was up. Actually…I wanted to have a word with you in private."

Horatio removed his sunglasses, looking Delko in the eye. "What's on your mind?"

Delko was quick to explain to his boss the sudden change in Speed and how it worried him. He was just finishing up when Speed joined them, a silver kit in each hand. Delko took his, thanking him. Then he turned back to Horatio. "So…what's the big crime?"

"We have another officer missing in action," Horatio dropped the bomb.

"Who?"

"Officer Jesup."


	30. Get Another Boyfriend

**Chapter Thirty: Get Another Boyfriend**

They spent hours pouring over the crime scene. Officer Jesup was dispatched to this location when the call came in about a carjacking. He was supposed to have back-up but the officer called into provide it had gotten stuck in traffic, even with his siren blaring. That left Jesup on his own to handle the crime. Nobody was quite sure what happened next. They were still trying to get an understanding off the evidence left at the scene. The footprints in the sand told them that at least three people had been involved, including Jesup. Speed tried to get molds of the shoe prints before the wind and water erased his evidence. And it wasn't all that easy to cast prints in the sand to begin with. Good thing Calleigh had some hairspray in her kit for just such occasions. Detective Tripp was talking to a man in a brightly colored shirt and khaki shorts. Supposedly he had come across the scene, had seen two guys overpower the officer and force him into another car. He'd been quick to call 911 but the car was gone before officers arrived at the scene. The one good thing was the fact that the guy got the license number off the car. Even as he worked Speed knew that it would be pointless. The car was going to turn up without a doubt but they would find it had been ditched for an entirely different set of wheels.

So now they were working against time to find Hagen and Jesup.

He hoped that both guys were alive, if not well.

The noonday sun beat down on them as they worked on the sand and the grass. He wiped the sweat off his brow with his arm, dying for a bottle of water. When he took a break, waiting for his cast to set, he looked around the scene. Calleigh had been busy processing the car with Ryan while Delko dealt with whatever had held Horatio's attention at the palm tree. Their boss was near the Hummer on his phone. Maybe he was taking a call from the mayor or making a call, bringing some strings. Horatio knew people in high places, people with power. Sometimes they were willing to help because Horatio had once helped them. Others were willing to help because they knew the lieutenant had dirt on them. Horatio couldn't be bought but would wait quietly on the sidelines until he obtained enough evidence to lock someone up. Until then he would use whatever gains possible to get justice. Not that he would go out of his way to blackmail someone. He just reminded them that it was in their best interest to help the police. It would look good in the long run.

His boss had his ways.

"You done with those casts?" Calleigh asked, her southern accent too cheery for the day.

He looked up at her from where he was crouched in the sand. "Just about. Find anything in the car?"

She held up an evidence bag. "I think this gum wrappers might be the best thing. There's no hair, no fibers. I've been all over that darned thing and didn't even find a fingerprint. Ryan hasn't had any better luck."

"These guys know what they're doing."

"That they might, hon, but they don't realize just how good we are at our jobs," she smiled.

Speed touched the casting slightly to find that it had dried. He gently removed it from the sand and flipped it over. The shoe impression was the best he was going to get. "That's the last one."

"Well why don't run them to the lab for you?" Calleigh suggested. "I was headed that way with hopes of getting something off these wrappers."

"Sure," he said, standing to gather the rest of his evidence. Then he would head over to the Hummer and see if maybe there was a bottle of water lurking somewhere within. He could really use the refreshing liquid.

--

Calleigh had dropped off the evidence in the proper rooms and had just left the gum wrappers with Valera in DNA. She was hoping to get something back on them. They had to find Officer Jesup just as much as they needed to find Hagen. Time was starting to drag on and she knew that the longer they hung on to him the less likely they would find him alive. Hagen didn't exactly have a way with words. He would piss them off, push them so far that they would…She tried not to think about it. Horatio would push them, would use everything in his power to get back his officers. The may not have worked exclusively for him like the members of the lab but they were an integral part of them nonetheless.

She walked into the breakroom, heading for the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and sat at the table, her mind on Hagen. She had loved him at one point; maybe she still loved him to some degree. All those times that he tried to convince her the job was risky had ticked her off though she understood that he only said those things because he worried about her. She worried about him, too. His career had gone down hill since the death of his partner, Horatio's brother. It must have been hard to walk around with that shadow always looming over his shoulder. She could tell that Horatio didn't have it any better. But he was an upstanding guy. Sometimes Hagen did questionable things. Like removing evidence from a crime scene. Or holding a gun to her head.

"Calleigh!"

She jumped as someone yelled her name, nearly knocking over the bottle of water on the table top. She swam out of her thoughts to see that Jake was standing across from her. "Oh, hey…"

"That's all you have to say? I've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes," he remarked.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Hagen," she said before realizing that it would be a mistake.

He frowned. "Seems like you do a lot of that."

"He's my friend," she defended. Hagen had always been a sore spot in their relationship. No matter how many times she tried to tell him that she and the detective were just friends he never seemed to get it through his thick head.

"You spend an awful lot of time thinking about your friend," he used the last word loosely.

She glared at him, anger boiling to the surface. "What is your problem lately, Jake? So what if I have a past with Hagen. He is a member of this team, has been longer than you. He is my friend. And I have every right in the world to worry about him. There's no telling what those maniacs have done to him."

"You're so hung-up on him that you don't even notice I'm here. I had to yell to get your attention, Calleigh."

"So?"

"Maybe he's not your friend. Maybe you still have feelings for him."

"Jake…"

"No," he said, shaking his head, holding up his hands. "I'm done here. I don't want to compete with him. I am done with this. Get yourself another boyfriend, Calleigh. I'm done." And he walked out the door without giving her a chance to say anything in return.


	31. Shining Star

Note: Sorry about the delay; health issues.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-one: Shining Star**

He got back to the lab a few hours later, finally downing the cool bottle of water that he'd been thirsting for most of the day. Maybe he would make a suggestion to Horatio about the Hummer's carrying coolers. It wouldn't exactly be a bad thing if they did. Some evidence could benefit from riding around in a cooled environment as opposed to soaking in the interior of a car sitting in the Miami sun, and their job was all about the evidence. He made a mental note to bring up the suggestion next time he saw his boss; which he hoped would be soon. Horatio left the scene a while before the rest of them, well, not before Calleigh, but she had returned and then their boss had left. Without so much as saying goodbye or giving them a hint as to where he was headed. Speed had already been through the entire lab in hopes of finding his wayward boss without any luck. He prayed that wherever H had gotten off to that he wouldn't become the next casualty of the militia group. If they managed to nab Horatio that would put him in charge since he was the next highest CSI and he didn't want to be in charge. There were times during the day when he could barely keep his thoughts straight. How would he run a lab?

"Let's hope I never have to find out," he murmured to himself as he sat on the stool before the table. There was a mountain of evidence that needed going through if they had any hopes of finding the two missing officers.

"What was that?"

He turned to see that Delko was standing in the doorway. Silently he hoped that his friend wasn't here to start talking to him about the situation their friendship was currently in. He had a shit load of work to do and didn't want to waste what could very possibly be valuable time. "Nothing. What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to know if you've seen H? I need to talk to him about something."

Speed shook his head. "Haven't seen him since the crime scene. Have you tried calling him?"

"Nah," answered Delko. "Figured he would be poking around the lab or something. I'll give him a call then, thanks." And he was gone.

Speed watched him walk away until he disappeared around a corner and vanished from sight. He sighed, thinking that it wasn't good neither one of them could locate their boss. With an angry militia group running loose and kidnapping officers as well as making threats toward the lab, it wasn't exactly a good sign that one of their own was currently unreachable. He looked at the mountain, more like molehill, of evidence in front of him. He had worked with Hagen almost as long as he worked for Horatio but didn't know the detective half as well as he knew his boss. As for Officer Jesup, he only knew the uniformed officer by name, having seen him a couple of times at crime scenes. That didn't mean neither one of them deserved the best of his abilities to track them done. So instead of delaying further he picked a baggie from the small pile and began to the art of processing the tiny piece of evidence contained within. Hopefully it would give him some answers…

--

The music thrummed in his ears blocking out the rest of the world, helping him to focus on the work that lay before him. He was just about done with his pile of work, all the tests in the process, when he felt someone tap him gently on the shoulder. As expected he jumped but managed to keep from dropping the vial of liquid that he held in his hand. With his free hand he removed the headphones, leaving them around his neck and turned to see a smiling Calleigh standing behind him and to his right. The first thing he noticed about her was that although there was a smile pasted across her face it didn't quite reach her eyes; a phony smile. He'd been down that road himself one or two times. He wanted to ask what was bothering her but figured it could wait since she'd come to talk with him about something.

"Horatio wants to have a word with us in the conference room," she told him, her voice not as chipper as it had been that morning at the crime scene. "I think we might have a lead on something, though I'm not one hundred percent sure that's what it is…"

He nodded. "I'll be there in a minute, just have to place this in the machine, get the test running."

Calleigh was out the door and gone before he could register that she said Horatio wanted to speak with them. At least that was a weight off his shoulders, the knowledge that his boss wasn't in the hands of some angry mob. He quickly finished up with the sample, switched off his music, left the headphones on the table and headed toward the conference room, his hands deep in his pockets. Last time they had all met to speak there hadn't exactly been good news to share, what with them all learning about the cases being tied to a group of crazies that didn't like law enforcement. Then out of nowhere he found himself wondering what these same people would do if their house caught fire or something. Would they try to put it out themselves? After all, paramedics and firefighters were in the same branch as forensic scientists and cops; they all put their lives on the line just to do their job day in and day out. When he got to the room he found that he was the last one to arrive. He closed the door, then leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Horatio began speaking immediately.

He held up a picture. "Get to know this face, study it, see it in your sleep, every time you close your eyes; this is the face of the man that we want to catch. I pulled a few strings, talked with a few people in the Federal Government and this is the guy that leads the militia group. His name is Brian Hutt and the FBI has been trying to keep tabs on him for years."

"Trying?" Delko echoed.

"He disappeared off their radar a few months ago. They have been scouring the streets looking for him. He usually does work in New York and places in California, this group he heads has branches all across the US," Horatio explained. "When he left New York a month ago they figured that he was heading to his place in California. They say those are the only two areas that he has ever traveled to. But he never arrived in California. Once I started to explain to them our situation down here they jumped on the band wagon, so to speak, and figured that this is where he must have come. They are sending an agent down to brief me on the group, I want all of you to be there." He looked around the room at them. "This guy is extremely dangerous. If you see him, do not try to apprehend him yourself. Call for back-up, tail the guy but the minute you thing you've been made, get the hell out of there. Do you understand?"

Ryan shook his head. "I can't believe that guy is our shining star. He looks like a nerd…"

Speed had to agree. The man in the photo had thick glasses, bushy eyebrows and he was wearing a sweater vest with a pocket…that had a pocket protector within. He knew that he shouldn't let looks dictate the crook since he knew how deceiving looks could be but seriously, why would anybody listening to anything that this guy had to say? This was room nearly full of scientist and not a single one of them looked as geeky as the man in the photo.

"Don't let the look full you. The agent will be here in about two hours. I know that's close to shift change but I really want all of you there. We have to learn about this man, understand him, if we are to catch him and bring back our officers."


	32. I Promise You

**Chapter Thirty-two: I Promise You**

The agent from the Federal Bureau of Investigations arrived exactly two hours later, just shy of the end of shift. Speed managed to get the rest of his work done in the last two hours and was happy to know that test results would be waiting in the morning when the machines finished during their jobs. Maybe, just maybe, when he came in the next morning there would be an answering staring him in the face. There had to be something…things were getting dire; days passing since they had last seen Hagen and that usually didn't bode well. For all he knew Hagen could already be dead and his body disposed of. It wasn't exactly the loveliest thought but it was a rational one. He was just going off the information that he'd gathered over the last few years on the job. Without ransom calls and any other signs of contact it was usually a poor prognosis for the victim. Though there were rare cases where ransom demands had been made even though the victim was well beyond help. He just hoped that they would find both officers before either one of them ended up in that situation, or it would haunt him.

And he was already having trouble with his job, with sleep, with life in general. The last thing he needed was dead officers weighing on his conscious. Hopefully this agent would be able to shine some new light on the case. He took one of the empty chairs at the table, positioning himself across from Horatio, noticing that the chair must have been left for him. The others were already in place. He frowned, wondering why nobody wanted to sit across from their boss near the head of the table. Maybe it was just a matter of sonority.

"Thank you all for coming," the agent started. He was dressed in a dark suit making him appear like the stereo-typical government agent. "My name is Matthew Lassiter and I'm here to help you get an understanding of Brian Hutt. I will be recounting the history of his group and the crimes we have been able to link to them. Questions are always welcome, especially if it helps you get a better understanding of what and who you are facing. Now from what I understand this group has targeted the crime lab. This is the first time that the branch in Florida has done anything considerably drastic. Usually they just protest, write letters. That is why we believe that Mr. Hutt is here in the state. Kidnapping not one but two officers of the law is a big jump from peaceful protest. Though Lieutenant Caine has allowed me access to the files, which I have read, I would like to hear from you guys about the crimes. You gathered the evidence, processed the scene."

Calleigh started with the recount of the day they learned Hagen was gone. It snowballed fast from there on how the three cases they were working had ended up being linked, the victims having been members of the group at one point. Then they were talking about the most recent case, the loss of Officer Jesup, and how it had gone down at the beach. Agent Lassiter listened attentively, writing down notes in the notebook he had placed on the table. Speed could easily glance at the white paper and see what the other was writing but he didn't really care at that point in time. He kept thinking about the one thing that none of them had mentioned, the one thing that all of them seemed to have forgotten. Not that he cared to have it brought up in the first place.

But then Jake went and opened his mouth. "We should actually be counting ourselves pretty lucky. That man," he pointed to Speed, "actually had an encounter with one of the group members."

The agent looked at him, the expression on his face unreadable. "Is that true?"

Speed slowly nodded. "Yes…but the guy wanted out of the group. He was going to tell us things about their plans, what they were doing with our missing detective…"

"But?"

"He died."

"Did he threaten you?"

He felt a good chill settling over him, the room growing dark as the walls started to close in. _I could kill you. I should just shoot you and get it over with. _The words echoed in the recesses of his mind. He tried not to remember that day with everything that he was but…now they were forcing him back, asking him questions, making him see those frantic eyes. Once again he felt the pressure building in his chest as he recalled how the man placed the barrel against the scar there. It all came rushing back over him in a massive sweeping wave. He could feel himself choking up despite wanting to keep his cool. But how could he with those words bouncing around in his head? _I could kill you…_

"Speed?" Horatio always worried about his wellbeing. "Tim, are you okay?"

_No,_ he wanted to shout, _no I'm not all right. I'm never going to be okay. _He wanted to shout it at them, to open his mouth and let the words escape but he couldn't. All he could was think about was the gun pressed against his chest, the pain of the bullet ripping through his body, the warmth of the blood as his life force began to fade. He was mixing two events but none of the mattered to him. All he saw was the gun. All he heard was the sound of the trigger being pulled, the bullet free. All he felt was the pain.

The pain.

His chest hurt almost to the point that he was having trouble breathing. He heard the sound of a chair moving, footsteps on the floor. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder but instead of giving him comfort like it was intended it only made him feel worse, spooked him. He felt the way that man touched him, heard his threatening words; _I could kill you._ Then he was moving, his chair falling to the floor with a clatter as he made a beeline for the door. All of a sudden the room was too suffocating, the walls to close. He needed to be free, to escape the pain. Like a zombie in some movie he stumbled around the halls of the lab before he finally felt the cool caress of the wind on his skin. At some point he had stumbled out into the cool Miami night, the wind bringing him crashing back to himself. He fell to the ground on his knees, his body shaking, a thin layer of sweat on his body. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes, the overwhelming sense that he was going to cry but he forced it back, held the emotion locked deep inside. His mind was still a jumbled mess, random things popping out at him.

He could only imagine what the others thought of his reaction, his quick escape from the room.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. "Tim…"

He looked to his side where Horatio had come to crouch beside him, worry clouding his blue eyes.

"Speed, talk to me."

When he managed to speak his voice came out barely more than a whisper. "Fine…" he croaked. "I'm just…fine."

"Please, don't lie to me, Tim."

He closed his eyes. "I just…I could feel the gun…and…"

"Speed…"

At some point the tears had managed to break free, rolling down his cheeks. He hugged himself, wondering if he would ever be okay, wondering if maybe he was going to lose his mind. Horatio fell to his knees, pulling Speed into his embrace once again to give him comfort. "Please, Speed, promise me that you will get help. Promise me."

How was he supposed to tell his boss that he had been getting help? That the help wasn't doing him any good because he could not open up the way he needed? "I promise," he said, knowing that the words were hollow. "I promise to get help…"

But could anyone be of help to him?


	33. Everything

**Chapter Thirty-three: Everyone**

When morning rolled around he felt a lingering sense of dread around him. After talking with Horatio, who made sure that he was truly okay, he'd headed home. He hadn't bothered going back into the room knowing that H could tell the agent whatever it was that he needed. That meant that his friends were going to be full of questions. How many times would he heart the same phrase when he got to work; _are you okay?_ Of course he wasn't okay and he knew it. Something inside of him was cracking, slowly, painfully. How long before he finally lost his mind and they locked him away so that he couldn't hurt anyone or himself? He massaged the back of his neck as he set foot outside his apartment, attempting to wash away the unpleasant thoughts so that maybe he could have a somewhat normal day at work. But all that went right out the window when he turned to close the door to his apartment. He could feel the blood draining from his face, the pace of his heart increasing. A tremble began in his hand, one that he'd been trying so hard to hide from everyone. He could feel the tightening in his chest as the panic attack started to gain a foothold on his body. He could not do this, not here, not now. And yet he remained frozen in place, every horrible moment rushing back into his brain like some macabre movie made especially for him.

"Mr. Speedle?" someone said. He knew the voice; it was one of his neighbors, the older Hispanic man that lived two doors down. He had been the guy to help Speed get a basic grasp of Spanish and in exchange Speed had made sure that his apartment was a secure as possible. "Mr. Speedle are you okay?" the guy asked as he walked down the hall somewhat slowly.

Speed fell to the floor, his legs giving out on him, his hands to his head. He didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted to erase the image from his mind and be free of the pictures that haunted him. He may have let out a strangled cry, he wasn't sure. But he heard the sound of someone dialing a phone, heard them talking, but as far as he was concerned the world was all inside his mind, the horrible images dragging him down into the abyss…

--

"Tim?" he heard. "Timothy, wake up. Come on, open your eyes."

He swam up from the depths, his eyes fluttering open to find Horatio gazing down at him. When had he ended up on his back? He remembered falling to his knees but after that…everything was blank up until now, until this very moment. Feeling slightly foolish and a little weak he tried to sit up, Horatio giving him a hand so that he was propped back against the wall. It would have been a sign of strength if he stood but he knew that he just couldn't, he just…Looking around he saw Delko a little further down the hallway talking to Mr. Gonzales, his neighbor. At one point Delko glanced in his direction and that was all Speed needed. The worry was so evident in his friend's eyes that it made him feel guilty; why, he didn't know.

"Are you feeling okay? No pain anywhere?" his boss asked.

He directed his gaze back to Horatio, wanting to forget that look on Delko's face. "No…no pain." At least this time he wasn't lying. The only pain he felt was mental, nothing physical. "Did you…?"

Horatio nodded. "Bagged and in my pocket for safe keeping. Do you think you stand? I'd like to have you accompany us back to the lab. I'm not comfortable with the idea of leaving you here."

Speed actually felt himself crack the slightest of smiles. "Can't say that I blame you. Right now, I don't even want to be here and it's my home."

"Come on," Horatio said as he stood, holding out his hand to Speed. "Let's get you on your feet and see how stable you are."

Taking his friend's hand he climbed to his feet, afraid all the while that he was going to end up on the floor once again. But luck was on his side and he managed to remain on his feet, though his legs were the tiniest bit wobbly. "Thanks."

Horatio studied him with those pale blue eyes. "I'm worried about you, Tim."

He held up his hand. "Can we…please leave this until later? I just…please."

--

The ride to the lab was a very uncomfortable, quiet one. He sat in the back so that he wouldn't feel like Delko was watching him. That would have been unnerving. At least this way he could contemplate what had happened without them noticing how unsure of himself he felt. Why couldn't he remember everything that had happened? He closed the door to his apartment, saw that horrible thing and fell to his knees…that's all that he could remember. Vaguely he recalled Mr. Gonzales asking him if he was okay but after that it was all a blur, nothing but black fog. For some reason that deeply troubled him. Was he finally losing his mind? Maybe spending some time in lock-up wouldn't be so bad…Horatio pulled into a spot reserved for him, one that he so very rarely used and the three of them climbed out of the Hummer. The group walked sullenly into the lab, Speed hesitating by a step or two, afraid to walk into one of the places he felt most at home in. Lately nowhere felt right to him. He was looking for a safe place only to find that none of them would protect him anymore. It was a scary realization. Horatio directed them to one of the conference rooms and left the two of them there saying he wanted to round up the others. Speed thought about walking away to check on the test that he had started the night before. Anything would be better than sitting in a room alone with Delko. When had spending time with his friend become so hard?

He plopped into one of the empty chairs, crossed his arms over his chest. Expecting Delko to start talking he was surprised when his friend went and stood by the window with his hands in his pockets, his back to Speed. An awkward silence quickly settled over the room, suffocating him. Just as he was about to get up because he couldn't take it anymore the door opened and in walked Calleigh, deep in conversation with Alexx. They were talking about her kids. However, the conversation died when they noticed him. They knew, they all probably knew about his little melt down. He was falling apart at the seams and they were judging him. How could they do that having never been in his place? None of them had ever been shot. None of them had ever been so close to losing their life…how could they stare at him like he was a freak? He knew that he was being irrational; they weren't staring at him because he was a freak. That wasn't why their conversation had died. No, the lack of talking could be attributed to the oppressing silence between two men who were usually so close. Just further proof that he was falling apart.

A few minutes later Horatio came back with Ryan and Jake. In his hand was a clear plastic evidence bag. Speed turned away, not wanting to see the contents. He could already feel his head swimming.

"What's this all about, Horatio?" Calleigh asked in her sweet as honey Southern drawl.

In response to the question their boss dropped the bag on the table. "This was found this morning tapped to Speed's door."

Speed didn't look at anyone, didn't say anything. He already knew what was in the bag and really didn't want to look at it again. Calleigh inhaled sharply, a little whimper escaping her. Speed closed his eyes and there it was in the forefront of his mind, vivid as ever. A Polaroid shot of Detective Hagen all bloody and bruised. It was hard to tell whether or not he was still alive in the photo. There was so much blood…he felt the shiver course down his spine and did nothing to stop it. The picture had been gruesome. He worked with Hagen so the photo was more personal than any he'd ever taken himself of a crime scene. Crime scene…he didn't like thinking of it as a crime scene.

"They….they left this on the door to Speed's apartment?" Alexx said, making no attempt to hide the fear in her voice. "That means they know where he lives. They probably knew where we all live. Horatio…"

"I know. It's not a comforting thought. From now on nobody is to leave the lab alone," he said. "And that's an order. Everyone will have a buddy. And for extra measure that buddy will stay over. This was a direct message, a sign that they know when we are at our most vulnerable. I do not want anyone alone. Calleigh, you and Alexx can bunk together. Jake, you're with Ryan. Speed, Delko, that leaves the two of you."

"We have to catch these sonavabitches," remarked Jake somewhat angrily.

"And we will," Horatio promised. "We will."


	34. More Than That

Note: I do apologize for the irregular updating. But my health is better now so things should return to some semblance of normal. And you guys have me inspired to work on part two of the story. So big thanks to all of you reviewers!

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-four: More than That**

The first chance that he got he escaped to the Trace Lab to check on the results of his tests. He tried not to think about having to bunk with Delko. That didn't even sound right, especially after the way Delko had been acting. What would happen if he decided not to go along with this? Maybe he could ask Horatio to swap buddies and stay with his boss instead. But that meant finding a place to keep Mite. It wouldn't be fair to ask Horatio to handle the presence of not only him but also the dog. That meant he was going to have to stay with Delko…most likely at his apartment. The last place he wanted to sleep was in his own bed. They had been at his door during the night and he hadn't even been aware of it until that morning. It was most unsettling. How come Mite hadn't warned him? Why hadn't his dog barked? Maybe they were too quiet. If they knew where he lived then chances were that they knew about the dog. Maybe that was the only thing that kept them from breaking into his apartment and adding him to their long list of captured cops. He could have woken up a hostage…

"Stop it," he whispered harshly to himself as he grabbed at a piece of paper. The results before him were inconclusive. He felt the wind go out from under his already flimsy sail. They still weren't any closer to finding his missing colleagues. Though at that precise moment Horatio was in the AV lab with Cooper going over the photo to see what types of clues they could gather from it. He prayed that they got something, anything. The sooner they could get Brian Hutt of the streets the sooner he could relax. Moving to the next machine he grabbed for the results. They weren't inconclusive but they were not very helpful either. In a fit of frustration he crumpled the test results and threw them on the floor.

Someone knocked lightly on the door. When he looked over his shoulder he wasn't all that happy to see that it was Delko. Then he felt horrible for feeling that way. When had his best friend, the one person he thought he could count on, become such a problem for him? Why was he letting their friendship fall apart, behaving the way that he was, thinking such unpleasant thoughts?

"I take it from that little display of anger that you didn't exactly get what you wanted…"

"No," he answered shortly. He wasn't going out of his way to be rude but…it was like he had no control over it.

"Listen…I think…" He ran a hand through his hair. "Can we talk?"

"About?" Since there really wasn't anything for him to do he leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. He liked that there was a good amount of space between him and Delko; it put him a little more at ease. Wait a minute, at ease? Where the hell had that come from? Since when did he feel uneasy around Delko?

"Speed…I…lately," he seemed to struggle in finding the right words.

Something inside of Speed snapped. "If you're here to talk to me about this morning you can forget it. I am so god damned tired of having people worry about me and asking me how I feel. You want to know how I feel? I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind. I can't sleep through the night because of these awful nightmares that refuse to leave me alone. Then I come to work looking for some sort of escape except there isn't one. Hagen and Jesup could be dead but all I can seem to focus on is the fact that I do not feel like myself."

"Speed…"

"And then there's you," he continued, ignoring his friend while knowing that he really should shut up before he saying something he regretted. "You're supposed to be my best friend but I don't…being in the same room with you leaves me feeling awkward and…I can't even find the right words to explain it. I know that I shouldn't have these feelings but they won't go away. They make me feel guilty which only ends up making me feel even worse and-"

"Tim, shut up."

Speed clamped his mouth shut, not able to look in Delko's direction. He didn't want to risk seeing the hurt on his friend's face.

"Don't look at me, I don't fucking care, but you had better listen to me," Delko started. "Maybe confessing how I felt to you wasn't right…no, on second thought, it was right. This just ended up being the wrong time for it. I won't take back what I said and I know that I can't change the way I feel. You're going through a lot of shit, I can see that. I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you. And yes, I love you. But you know what? Right now I don't want to be anything more than your friend."

He finally found the courage to look at Delko but didn't say anything. What was he supposed to say?

Delko let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping, any anger he had dissipating. "This isn't easy for you. Memories from the past are clearly haunting your every step and…I just want to be a friend, Speed, nothing more than that. There was a time when you would tell me everything. Maybe I'm to blame for that going away. Hell, maybe I am to blame for our friendship falling apart and for that I apologize. But I will never apologize for caring about you the way that I do. You may not feel the way that I do but guess what? You're going to have to deal with me sticking to you like glue because I'll be damned if those bastards get their hands on another cop."

"I…I'm sorry."

Delko actually smiled. "You don't have to say that, Speed. I can understand your position. I just wanted you to know that I'm here to listen whenever you want to talk. I'm always going to be here."


	35. Time

**Chapter Thirty-five: Time**

As in most kidnapping cases time was of the essence. Speed knew for a fact that it was only a matter of time before the Feds officially took over the case. It wasn't something that he wanted to have happen because then they would want to use their own lab all the way back in Quantico. That would be a big waste of time, shipping evidence there and then waiting for them to process it. Unfortunately, the case was starting to get media attention and that wasn't a good thing. For the most part they were able to keep it quiet that two officers of the law had been kidnapped. The only people that knew were a handful of law enforcement professionals, the mayor, the Feds, and family members. But somehow the media caught wind of the news and decided to make it the biggest story out there. Never mind that nearly one hundred and fifty people had died in a fire at a club due to fault wiring; thankfully that was out of their jurisdiction. They also weren't spending a lot of time covering the shooting of a judge up near the panhandle or the death of child attacked by alligators down near the Keys. No, it was now all about the two kidnapped officers.

If time was of the essence before, it was even more so now.

Whatever sources the news channels used didn't have all the information. All they could come up with was the fact two officers were missing. They didn't have names, thankfully, or any idea how the officers had gone missing. Speed figured that to be a good thing because it gave them more privacy. He could just imagine what would happen if they got their hands on Hagen's name. They would break law after law to get a hold of his personal record. They would find Raymond Caine's name. Stumbling across his name would only add fuel to the fire and make things worse for Horatio. Speed prayed that nobody leaked the names of the missing officers. There was too much at stack if Hagen's name got out there. He really didn't know Jesup all that well, though he did know the younger man was a stand up officer, a damned good cop.

He looked at the clock, watched the second hand sweeping by the little ticks and black numbers.

How long would the kidnappers keep their prey alive? When would the crime lab receive its first package contenting a finger or an ear? Days had already passed and aside from that picture outside his apartment they hadn't had any real contact with the militia group. They didn't really know the condition of either officer. Was this a case of search and rescue or search and recover? He hoped for the former. For an hour he poured over the photo outside his apartment, finally strong enough to look at it, safe in the confines of the labyrinthine lab. No matter how many magnifying glasses or microscopes he used there was just no way of telling if Hagen was alive or dead. All that blood, his eyes closed…Speed didn't want to think about it.

Someone knocked on the door. He looked up in time to watch Horatio enter the room. "Have you gotten anything from the photo? Any clues as to where they might be?"

Slowly he shook his head, feeling as though he'd let his boss and everyone else down. After going over the photo with Cooper in the AV Lab Horatio had brought the object back to Speed for further scrutiny. His excuse had been logical; the photo was left outside of Speed's apartment for a reason. Maybe he would recognize something of importance that the others just could not see. But now it looked like that was false hope.

"Now matter how many times I look at this photo I cannot find anything of help," he said, frustration clear in his voice. "All I can tell you is that it looks like a warehouse or one of those shipping containers down at the docks."

"And there's plenty of those," Horatio stated. "Nothing at all stands out?"

"No, nothing." He hit the top of the table with the palm of his hand. "Maybe they left it for me because…I'm weaker than the rest of you."

Horatio frowned the slightest bit. "Weaker? What makes you think you're weak, Speed?"

He looked at his boss in disbelief. "Have you already forgotten about this morning? And what about the other day during the meeting?"

"Those moments do not mean you are weak, Speed," said Horatio. As usual his hands were on his hips. "You just happen to be dealing with something that none of the rest of us has ever dealt with. I've never been shot in the line of duty, neither has Delko or Ryan or Calleigh. We can't judge you because we've never been there. And I am more than sure that our reactions would be similar. It's a horrible thing, Speed. If you ask me, you're stronger because of it. You could have packed up everything and walked away, moved back to New York. But you're still here; you still come to work and do a damned good job. You may think you're weak but I still think you're my best CSI. And like everything else life throws at us, you will get through this and we're here to help. That's what friends do."

Speed let out a deep sigh, the self-loathing deflating like a balloon. "You're right, but then again, you usually are. I don't know, H….I just…it could have been me. They could have easily taken me and…"

"But they didn't."

"But they could have."

"So show them what a huge mistake they made in leaving you behind," Horatio said. "I guarantee you that once you help put them behind bars they'll be kicking themselves all the way to the grave. Criminals are always making mistakes. It's our job to exploit those mistakes."

"How can I exploit their mistakes when I have nothing to go on?"

Horatio looked at the photo lying atop the table, his blue eyes vibrant. "Why don't you take a break? Get some fresh air, stretch your legs."

He shook his head. "There's no time."

"Oh, there's time."

Speed cocked an eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

Horatio slid the photo across the table toward him. "How could I have missed that…?" that he asked himself.

"Missed what?"

"That," he replied, pointing the Hagen's left hand.

"What about it?" Speed asked.

"That there is a hand signal that my brother taught me years ago, before he went undercover," remarked the lieutenant. "Only undercover officers know it, but my brother knew that his life might be on the line. He showed it to me. Of course he would show it to his partner. Hagen's alive. And if he's alive, so is Officer Jesup."


	36. Not For Me

**Chapter Thirty-six: Not for Me**

They worked feverishly for the next few hours, hope once again restored. Speed had seen the look in Calleigh's eyes when their boss told her the news. Hagen was alive. Of course, Speed's mind was already working the angles of 'what if' and 'maybe not'. All they really knew was that Hagen _was_ alive when the photographer snapped the photo. That didn't mean he was still alive at that precise moment. The photo could very well be a red herring, something to throw them off the trail for a little while. Build them up and then send them toppling down. He wasn't quite sure which he hated most, hope or false hope. The two of them could be so devastating, so life altering. And he should know. But somehow he put all the dark thoughts out of his mind to concentrate on whatever trace evidence passed his way. While he waited for something to do with Jesup and Hagen he worked other cases so that the lab wouldn't end up with a backlog. Horatio had told him to take a break. Big surprise that he hadn't, he just couldn't bring himself to walk around the lab while there was work to be done. There were cases that needed their attention, cases that sat on the backburner so that they could work on the kidnappings. Now that there was a little free time he started going through the evidence, burying himself in the work at hand just so he wouldn't think about life's darker side. He ran the fibers from the child molestation case, the unknown powder in the drug-bust gone wrong, and the liquid from a possible poisoning case.

The machines buzzed pleasantly while they did their jobs. With all the work off his table he felt a little more relaxed, a touch more at ease. He didn't feel so useless anymore. Maybe now he would finally be able to take that break Horatio offered him. After giving the room one more glance to make sure he hadn't missed anything, he started out the door. What he intended to do was walk around the lab, maybe catch-up with the others, see how they were fairing. Instead he found himself heading toward the reception area and the elevator. All of a sudden he wanted to be outside. He wanted the feel of the Miami afternoon all around him, the walls of the lab that felt like they were closing in on him. So much for his sanctuary. Without really even thinking about it he punched the button, rode the elevator down, and headed out into the sun, evidence of a pop-shower glistening on the drying pavement.

He started walking.

--

Delko read the report for the umpteenth time. No matter how many times he read it the results just plain refused to change. If only he could make them magically say what he wanted to read. They were used to processing evidence, finding answers where there weren't any, so why was this case proving to be so tough? He rubbed his eyes with one hand, pinched the bridge of his nose. Something had to give eventually, right? Letting out a sigh he noticed Frank walking toward him with the oddest expression on his face.

"Something wrong, Frank?" he felt compelled to ask, being a CSI he liked answers.

"Didn't Horatio tell us to stick together?"

"Yeah…why?"

Frank gestured over his shoulder. "I just saw Speed head outside. When I called to him it was like he didn't hear me. Thought maybe he was going to meet you or someone else outside."

Delko felt the increase of his heartbeat. "He wouldn't be meeting anyone. Calleigh and Horatio are in the morgue with Alexx working the bodies for any evidence that might have been missed. And last I saw Ryan was with Cooper. Speed doesn't care much for Jake so I highly doubt the two of them would be getting together."

"So he went off alone? Correct me if I'm wrong but hasn't the militia kind of targeted him once already?"

Delko didn't say anything; he just shoved the test results at Frank and bolted in the direction of the elevators. He wasn't sure if he had a plan, all he knew was that he had to find Speed before something happened to him. He didn't think he would be able to function properly if Speed was taken, too. On the ride down, the ride from hell, all manner of ideas ran through his brain and not a single one of them was pleasant. He could feel the panic building in his chest as he stepped off the elevator, making a beeline for the entrance. He knew that it would be stupid to hope Speed had just stepped out the door for a bit off fresh air and that he would still be standing there or at least close by. When he made it outside all his foolish hopes were dashed. Speed wasn't anywhere in sight. His first thought was that they'd gotten him. But he quickly banished it for an idea more logical; Speed had merely gone for a walk to get some fresh air. Delko just had to find him. Making short work of the steps he about collided with a middle-aged woman. He apologized, making sure that she was okay.

"Sure are in a hurry," the woman commented somewhat good naturedly.

"Sorry," he said, flashing his best smile. "I'm looking for a friend of mine."

"Another officer?"

"Yes…"

"I passed one at the corner," she said. "He seemed pretty lost in his thoughts."

"Thanks," Delko called as he headed down the sidewalk at a jog. He rounded the corner and by some fortune saw Speed about a yard away. As he caught up with his friend he felt overwhelming nervous, something that he wasn't used to feeling unless on a particularly violent crime scene. He hated the feeling of vulnerability. When Speed was within reach he grabbed him by the upper arm and forced him to stop. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Speed looked at him, no emotion on his face. "Getting some fresh air. The lab felt…stuffy."

"You know that you aren't supposed to go off by yourself. Are you crazy?" he said with a touch too much anger in his voice.

"I just needed to get out for some air…"

He reached out and grabbed at Speed's waist. "With your badge and gun in plain sight? Tim, these people already have an eye on you, why give them an opportunity to nab you? Have you completely lost your mind? Horatio said buddies, for everyone."

By now Speed was glaring. "I'm not a little kid, Delko. I can take care of myself and I don't need every single one of you keeping an eye on me like I am some fragile doll. Now if you'll excuse me," he said, walking around Delko, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't bother look back as he walked even further down the sidewalk. Delko was torn between following him and giving him the space he so desperately needed. He knew that if he kept pushing that the chasm forming between them would only get wider, deeper. He could not allow that to happen. While he toyed with the idea of tailing Speed his friend reached the corner and turned right, heading down the block. Maybe he was just taking a stroll around the block and he would be back in a matter of minutes. He knew that he should follow Speed but fear of losing his best friend kept him rooted to that spot. This inability to choose was something new to him. And he didn't much care for it.


	37. Yes, I Will

**Chapter Thirty-seven: Yes, I Will**

Back at the lab Calleigh was in the Ballistics Locker. She stood before the firing range, a weapon resting upon the table before her. The goggles she was supposed to wear for safety were next to the gun, her mind clearly anywhere but on the task at hand. She had meant to test a few firearms to see if maybe they could be linked to other crimes committed by the militia group but for some reason she froze up. Work had been getting increasingly harder with each passing day that they weren't able to make any headway on the case. Would she ever see Hagen again? When Jake had broken up with her she felt like shit, kind of like he never loved her at all. And then she realized that he was right; she still had deeply rooted feelings for Hagen. She was also quite the fan of Officer Jesup. He was a sweet kid, a good cop, and thinking about him made her think about Ryan for some reason. Maybe because she'd known Ryan as a patrol officer before he joined the team. She sighed, a hand going to her face. She pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned against the counter.

"Calleigh…?"

She turned to look over her shoulder, a smile immediately spreading across her face. "Hey Horatio."

"How are the tests going?"

"Well," she drawled, the familiar heat of a blush creeping across her cheeks, "to be honest, I'm having a little trouble concentrating today."

He smiled softly. "Glad to see I'm not the only one."

With relief she sagged back against the counter. "Is it just me or has work gotten really stressful?"

"It doesn't help that the Feds are starting to breathe down are necks," Horatio pointed out. "One wrong move and they'll take over the case. They have good resources and more manpower and as much as I hate to admit it, they know these people better than us. However, our comrades are the ones in danger so I'm not ready to relinquish this case. Not yet."

"I don't think anybody is ready to give up," she said. "Have you looked at the time sheets lately? Even Cooper and Valera are staying late to be of help wherever they can."

"It takes tragedy to pull us all together."

"No, not tragedy, just good friendship and the human condition," she said to him.

"Listen, Calleigh, do you think you can put thoughts of Hagen out of your mind for a short while?" he asked her softly, concern in his voice. "These guns…"

She smiled again. "I know. I'll get right on it. I promise." She even turned to slip on the goggles.

"Good. I'm going to head upstairs and see what the guys have managed to gather."

"We'll find the answers," she assured him. "We always do." What she didn't say was that sometimes they couldn't find them until someone died. That was something she just did not want to voice allowed.

--

Ryan was looking at the piece of paper in his hands like the words were in some foreign language. There was an answered somewhere in the jumble but for some reason he just couldn't make out what it was. He thought about approaching Delko and asking him what he saw but he'd been unable to find Delko or even Speed. At least the two of them were gone; which meant that they'd stuck to the whole buddy system. A part of him wished that at least one of them was still poking around the lab. They'd been at this job far longer than him and though he had made leaps and bounds since joining the team, there were always knew things for him to learn. He massaged his eyes the fingertips of his right hand and then looked at the paper again. He'd been running a test on some sort of substance. Usually it was Speed that did all the Trace Evidence. Ryan worked the same department but he was kind of like the underling, the trainee; neither phrase felt right. Speed was head of Trace, Ryan helped when there was a lot of evidence. He was more like a jack of all trades, helping out wherever an extra pair of hands was needed. Like in the Trace Lab this afternoon, especially since the senior CSI was currently gone.

"What have you go there?" Horatio asked as he came to a stop before Ryan, his trademark sunglasses in his hand.

"I'm not quite sure," he admitted, handing the paper over to Horatio. "I ran this test…well, I went into the lab and saw that the machine was set to run the test but hadn't been started. This is the result of that test but try as I might I just cannot make out whether or not I've gotten an answer."

Horatio looked up from the piece of paper. "You found the machine ready to go?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Like Speed was a second away from pressing the button and instead got up and walked away."

"Where's Delko?"

"Also gone," he said.

For a few moments Horatio was silent. Then he resumed studying the test results, a frown furrowing his brow. "If I understand what I'm reading correctly these test results are for a plant. Speed must have found pollen on one of the victims."

"Can you make out what type of plant?"

"No," he replied with the shake of his head. "But maybe Valera will have an idea on how to trace the particular make-up to the right plant. Speed would usually be able to do it but since you said he wasn't here…"

"I could call him," offered Ryan.

"Don't bother," Delko voiced as he came upon the two of them. "He should be back in a few minutes. He just wanted a quick stroll around the block for some fresh air."

A dark cloud passed over Horatio's features. "And why the hell aren't you with him? I thought I made myself perfectly clear when I said that we were to stick together. Always."

They were suddenly interrupted by the arrival of Frank. "Horatio, I think I have something that you're going to want to hear." For some reason Frank threw a glare in Delko's direction. Without another word the troop followed after Frank to the lower level of the precinct and into one of the interrogation rooms. Ryan could feel the anger rolling off the detective and it only made him more uneasy. Things were bad enough as they were what could be making Frank feel so strongly? In the interrogation room there was a brown-haired woman who looked to be in her early thirties. She offered them a shy smile when they entered. Frank began to speak right away. "This is Mrs. Springer. Her husband was a cop back in Milwaukee, killed in the line of duty. She moved down here to start a new life. And she has something she wants to tell you."

Without giving anyone else a chance to speak she said, "I witnessed an officer getting into a black SUV, the license plate conveniently covered with mud."

Delko could feel the tightening his chest but it was Horatio that spoke. "And what about this situation brought you to us?"

"He didn't look like he was going willingly. There were heated words and…I think I might have seen a gun. A cloud passed over the sun and the car fell into shadow so it was hard for me to tell. Once they got him in the car they sped off."

"Can you describe the officer?"

"I only really saw him from the back but he had dark brown hair and he was wearing what looked like a blue button-down shirt," she said.

"Speed," Ryan spoke up.

Horatio turned toward Delko. "I told you to stay with him."

"I'm sorry," Delko protested, the tightening in his chest getting worse. "I didn't think…I mean…."

"Frank, put out an all points bulletin on the car. Let every cop in the area know that another one of our own has been taken," Horatio ordered. The detective nodded in confirmation before leaving the room. Then Horatio turned his attention toward the woman. "Can you possibly stay a little while longer?"

"Sure."

"They just upped the stakes," Horatio said. "And they have no idea who they're messing with."


	38. It's True

**Chapter Thirty-eight: It's True**

"So it's true," Calleigh said as she stumbled across Delko in the locker room. "They managed to get their hands on Speed."

"Please," he protested, "I really don't need to hear it from you, too." He'd been sitting on the wooden bench in front of his locker, his head hanging down, feeling like a complete shit. Of the decisions he had to make in his life, this was the one he wanted back. Instead of being so worried about pushing his best friend away, the one person he really loved, he'd left Speed alone and vulnerable. Horatio had given them direct orders and he hadn't followed them. Nothing he could say would make it better. He'd fucked up and now Speed's life was on the line. To say he felt like shit would have been an understatement.

Calleigh settled on the bench beside him. If he'd bothered to look at her he would have noticed that her eyes were red and swollen from crying. "Delko, you couldn't have known," she soothed, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "Speed's been…difficult these last few days. He definitely hasn't been himself. I am more than sure that you had a reason for letting him walk off on his own."

"I didn't want to push him away," Delko said quietly. Calleigh wasn't the only one who had been crying. "He was so mad when I stopped him and…I should have followed him, dammit."

"If Tim has proved anything over the last few months it's that he's strong," she told him. "He'll pull through this, Eric. Don't go beating yourself up. We all make mistakes."

"I let them take my best friend," he said, suddenly raising his voice. "I might as well have fed him to the sharks. How could I have been so stupid?"

"Delko, please," she pleaded.

"Leave me alone, Calleigh," he said, turning away from her.

With a sigh she gave him a pat on the shoulder before standing and heading toward the locker room door. When she looked back over her shoulder she saw that he was hunched over, his shoulders shaking slightly. It tore her up inside to see him reacting that way. She expected him to be working through the anger to find Speed, to get him back. But he was sitting in the locker room crying. She bit her bottom lip and slipped out into the hallway, nearly bumping into Horatio. She really wanted to say a few choices things to him, thought better of it. It wasn't her boss's fault that things were quickly falling apart. Hell, it wasn't even Delko's fault that Speed was taken by the militia group. From where she was standing they were particularly lucky that only Speed had been taken. Just because they were going to be walking around in pairs did not mean that they would be safe. They could have made off with Delko and Speed. There was always something worse, and she thought of pointing it out to Horatio. Then she started thinking that maybe he was the reason that Delko felt so bad. Horatio meant well, he always dead, but when it came to Speed…she sighed.

"Something wrong, Calleigh?"

She forced a smile. "No, nothing more than usual lately."

"If you aren't holding up well…"

"No, I'm fine. I just really want to get these guys, H," she said, conviction in her voice. "They've proven they can get to us. We need to prove that we can get to them."

"Well, if it helps any I have Valera and Ryan working on identifying a plant substance that Speed was working with," he told her. "Here's to hoping that it helps us, even just a little."

"Every lead is important."

"Exactly," he remarked, offering her a sad smile. "I'm going to go see how Mrs. Springer is doing with our sketch artist."

"All right, keep me informed."

"Can and will," he said before walking away. She stood there, watching him go. This had to be eating away at him. Delko was in the locker room crying over the person he loved. And Horatio was trying to remain cool when his best friend could very well wind up dead. There was a bond between the two men, she saw it nearly every day, something that neither she nor Delko nor Ryan had been able to achieve with their boss. She felt that Horatio saw Speed as his younger brother or maybe as a son he never had. She knew that Speed's past hadn't been the best, dark shadows always lurking, leaving him in brooding moods. And Horatio's own past was shattered by violence and deaths of people he cared about. If only Delko and Horatio could see how badly the other was hurting, maybe then they could turn that pain into something useful. However, she understood how man felt the need to hide their true feelings. Sighing, she headed toward the DNA Lab to see if she could be of any help to Valera and Ryan.

--

They threw him into the room, slamming the door behind him. He stumbled and fell to the floor, the cracked concrete biting into his knees. The forward momentum was enough to keep him going until he was lying flat out on the floor. With great effort he managed to twist his body around so that he was at least lying on his side. The metal of the cuffs dug into his skin, the rings almost tight enough to cut off the blood supply to his hands. There was a bounding in his head and he was trying like hell to hold back the panic attack that threatened to send him over the deep end. Unfortunately he wasn't having an easy go of things. His breathing was rapid and his heart was racing. He was starting to feel somewhat dizzy, even a bit nauseous. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hasty to send Delko away. Maybe then he wouldn't be in this position, lying on the floor in some unknown building, his own fears rapidly consuming him.

"So…it's…true," someone said in a raspy voice.

The voice helped drive away some of his fear. At least he wasn't alone. If he'd been alone…Looking around he saw that it was Jesup that had spoken to him. The officer's uniform was torn in multiply places and there was dried blood spattered over it. He noticed Jesup's black eye and busted lip, the discoloration to his right cheek. And there was something slightly off with his right left, the way that he had it stretched out in front of him…

Jesup nodded toward the general direction of the door. Speed turned to look. There was a wooden crate to the right of the door and sitting atop it was a police radio. Jesup's radio. "Don't ask me why they left it with us but I heard….I heard the call." His voice was raspy from a lack of water. Speed knew that the officer must have had water since his kidnapping or he would have been dehydrated by now. The kidnappers wanted to keep them alive and yet…

Hagen was lying on the floor motionless. The picture of him flashed into Speed's mind and he began to think that the detective was indeed dead, that they were too late to save him. But the he noticed the slight rise and fall of Hagen's chest, his breathing shallow. At least he was still breathing. Still he felt compelled to ask, "Is he…?"

"Not yet," Jesup shook his head. That simple motion seemed to take a lot out of him. "Every once in a while he manages to find his way back to the here and now. But most of the time he's unconscious. I think he's better off that way." Jesup coughed, dry, painful. "They did a real number on him."

"Looks like you haven't faired any better," Speed said.

"I'm…holding my own. But now they have you…."

"And?"

"I think I'm going to end up like him," he gestured with his head to Hagen.

Speed decided not to say anything. The panic attack was still lingering and the more he thought about his feature the more of a foothold it gained on him. He closed his eyes and tried to listen to his heart beat, concentrate on his breathing. But it was no use. With his eyes closed he saw himself bloodied and dying.


	39. What Makes You Different?

**Chapter Thirty-nine: What Makes You Different**

The minutes passed slowly, timing moving at a snail's pace. There was a little window near the ceiling of their room that allowed Speed to tell when the sun set and night took hold. That first day, when the sun finally gave 'way to the darkness, he felt hope draining from him. No sooner had the light faded from the sky then their captors returned. He braced himself for whatever punishment it was that they planned to dish out to him but instead he had to lay there completely useless as he watched them drag Jesup out of the room. Had the officer not predicted that something awful would happen to him now that they had Speed? He wasn't sure how long the beating or whatever would take place but he made use of the time he had. Having his hands cuffed painfully behind his back made it a little harder than it should have been to move around the room. By all rights the small place should have been as dark as the night outside but the captures, strange as they were, left a battery powdered lantern burning atop another crate. The light wasn't enough, not by far, to illuminate the whole room but it was enough to give him a general idea of the place. He rolled onto his back and onto his other side, looking for…something, anything, to help him get out of this situation. At the moment he was the only one capable of getting help. And then he thought he saw something, a shaft of light, a small glimmer of hope. He wanted to scoot closer, get a better look but before he could the door opened again. Jesup was returned to his small corner of the room by Hagen, who hadn't opened his eyes since Speed's arrival.

The door closing made barely any sound but what little noise it did make sounded deafening to Speed. Locked away again. He rolled once again onto his back and onto his other side so that he could look upon Jesup. The officer looked awful, blood running downing his bruised cheek from a cut somewhere by his hairline. His uniform had been torn more, making visible an array of bruises that Speed had not been able to see before. And judging by the way that Jesup wheezed when he breathed there was little doubt in Speed's mind that they'd broken one of the younger officer's ribs. He didn't even want to think about that pain. Fortunately the officer was not awake, probably having blacked out from the pain of his beating. Had he not mentioned something like this happening?

The next night wasn't any better. Like clockwork when the sun vanished from the sky his captors returned and once again dragged Jesup out of the room. The officer had no fight left in him, allowing them to pull him along like a limp rag doll. It made Speed realize that things were getting desperate. Before long it would him that they dragged out of the room. What sort of things would they do to him? He tried not to let his mind focus on such horrible thoughts. Instead he chose instead to think about Horatio and Calleigh and Delko. They would be working like hell to make sure that he got back to them in one piece. But what if all their work just wasn't enough to pay off in the long run? Hagen looked paler and paler as the days stretched on. His breathing had grown shallower and in two days he had not once opened his eyes. Speed worried that by the time help came it would be too late for the detective. The police radio would crackle to life every now and then with reports of robberies and carjacking, amongst other crimes. He hated hearing the voice of the dispatchers knowing that he should have been out doing his job, not stuck in a room waiting for the inevitable.

This time when they brought Jesup back the officer was still in the land of the living, his eyes wide with the intensity of pain. Speed waited until the door was closed before he spoke. "Are you okay?"

Jesup slowly shook his head. "No…I think…." He tried to speak through the pain. "My arm…I think it's broken."

"Shit," Speed cursed.

"Why are you so special?" Jesup asked out of the blue. "What makes Timothy Speedle so special that you've been here for two days and they haven't touched you?"

He didn't have an answer for that. There wasn't anything special about him. As far as he was concerned he wasn't even that great a person. Why would they take him in the first place? Why not find someone with more power, someone more important to the police force. They struck a direct blow when the managed to get their hands on Hagen, a detective. What was he but a mere lab rat? "There's nothing special about me," he finally said.

And no truer words were ever spoken because when the third night fell it was him they were dragging out the door.

--

The sound of someone screaming drew him from the depths of the blissful darkness. As soon as he opened his eyes all the pain came rushing back and he gritted his teeth to keep from crying out in pain. Another scream soared through the air, driving away the last of the darkness that clung around him. Fully awake he looked around the room and saw that Jesup was once again missing. He didn't even want to think of what they could be doing to the officer to make him scream in such pain. He hazarded a look at Hagen to see that the detective was still hanging on, but barely. Speed knew that it was now or never, despite the pain he was in. He had to get the hell out of the building and find them help. He was the only one still capable of walking. Trying to find a level beyond the pain he rolled onto his back. A shot of pain run up the length of his body. He bit down on his bottom lip. Another jolt of pain tore through him as he rolled onto his other side. He worked through the pain, rolling across the floor until he reached the far corner. By the time he got there he'd broken out into a sweat and he could feel every bruise, every mark they'd made upon him the night before. But none of that mattered now. The glimmer of light he'd seen from his spot near the door was a small opening in the wall, the siding peeling away from the old building after all this time. It took some maneuvering and a whole lot more pain but he managed to kick away enough of the siding that he could fit through the hole. At first wiggling through the hole was harder than he figured it would be. But once he got outside he realized how much the pain was worth it.

A cool breeze washed over him, ruffled his hair. He could smell the tangy dampness of the everglades. Of course, should he have expected anything less? Where else would a group of mad men be able to hold three officers captive, be able to make them scream without worry of being heard?

He tried not to linger on those thoughts. He was outside, one half of the battle already won. Now he had to manage to climb to his feet and get out of the everglades without being eaten by an alligator. One daunting task after another. But he could do it. He would do it. He owed it to Hagen and Jesup to bring them help.


	40. You Can Let Go

**Chapter Forty: You Can Let Go**

Calleigh sat by the window, her eyes bloodshot and her normal cheer having departed long ago. The sun had raised high into the sky on what promised to be another beautiful Miami day. People would flock to the beaches to enjoy the weather, all their worries packed away for another day. She wished that she could be as carefree, as readily able to enjoy the beautiful day. Instead all she saw was black and white with areas of gray. There was no sunshine, no bright colors, no smiling people or sounds of laughter. "Four days, going on five," she muttered to no one in particular.

"We'll find them, Call," Delko said. Hadn't he been saying that for the last five days? He kept making that promise to her and yet, no matter how hard they worked they never seemed to get any closer to finding their lost friends. She turned away from the window as a child skipped by with a lollipop, a perfect picture of innocence. If anyone could possibly look worse than she felt it was Delko. Five days come, each day he beat himself up a little more over the fact that he'd screwed up. They all tried time and time again to reassure him that it wasn't his fault Speed was taken. Their words landed on deaf ears. Calleigh knew that it was eating away at him. His best friend, the man he clearly loved was somewhere having who-knows-what done to him. If she were in Delko's shoes she'd be feeling the same way.

She sat dejectedly at the table with him, her head in her hands. "This…we should be able to get somewhere. We finally got a lead and…" The plant matter turned out to be pollen from the flower of a poison plant called Brugmansia. Calleigh had never heard of such a plant so she had hope that the rarity of it would help them track down the kidnappers. But upon further study they all learned that the Brugmansia loved the heat, perfect for growing in the great state of Florida. They even managed to locate quite a few garden stores that sold the plant. Their lead went right out the window along with any hope of finding their friends. There was nothing to go on. No scrap of evidence pointing them in a general direction.

Ryan came into the room with Cooper close on his heels. The two men looked just as bad as her and Delko, even though they didn't know Speed all that well. This was a direct attack on them. They all felt useless not being able to find the evidence they needed for at least one answer. Ryan settled in the chair across from Delko, Cooper beside him. None of them needed to talk as the room quickly filled with a depressive, frustrated air. Almost like they'd given up. Without any clues, without a single lead what were they supposed to do?

Calleigh looked up as the door opened again, wondering who had come to join their pity party. Her heart skipped a beat. Horatio stood just inside the doorway, the look on his face one that she never wanted to see again. The first and only time she'd seen such a look was when he had come to deliver the horrible news of Speed being shot, the news that he might not live through the surgery meant to save his life. Now he stood before them with that same grim expression plastered across his features and it was all that Calleigh could do not to start crying right then and there.

"Horatio…?"

At least he managed to look at them as he spoke. "I'm on my way out to a call but wanted to speak with you guys first."

"What's wrong?" Ryan asked.

"Less than ten minutes ago a call came in about a body along the side of one of the access roads in the glades. All I could get for a description is the body is of a Caucasian male, dark hair, hands bound behind his back."

She felt the tears welling in her eyes. "Do they…know who it is?" her voice barely more than a whisper.

"No."

"I'm going with you," Delko said all of sudden, standing so fast that he knocked over his chair.

"Me, too," seconded Calleigh.

Horatio only nodded as even Ryan and Cooper stood to follow the crime lab leader out the door.

--

The ride seemed to take forever, the Hummer filled with tension, words of worry unspoken. When the managed to get to the scene they saw two squad cars and an ambulance. All the people in attendance were just standing around. For some reason that made Horatio mad. They should have been doing something. Every minute that passed another piece of evidence could be lost in the hot Miami afternoon sun. He pulled the Hummer up behind one of the squad cars, shutting off the engine. Like kids scolded for being in the cookie jar they filed out of the car, the blanket of silence looming around them. Horatio made sure that he was in the lead. A uniformed officer came toward him.

"Afternoon, lieutenant," the man said.

"What have we got?" Horatio said, skipping over any pleasantries. From where he was standing he couldn't see the body. He had to know, needed to know who it was that they'd found. For once he prayed that some innocent person completely unconnected to the crime had met with a violent end. At least then he would still have a chance of bringing his three friends home safe and sound.

"Well, we're not quite sure. None of us have been able to get near the body," the officer told him.

"Why?"

"There's a big ole gator, lieutenant. He's positioned himself right by the body and…well, we figured that we could just wait him out."

"Show me."

The officer led him toward the front of the second squad car and around to the other side of the road. There, under a grove of three trees was just what the officer had said, a large gator. But Horatio ignored the ancient monster to study the body concealed in the shadows. He knew who it was in an instant, his heart sinking. He turned to look over his shoulder and saw that Calleigh had fallen into Delko, who had wrapped his arms protectively around her. Ryan and Cooper stood there, unsure of what to do.

Horatio turned back to the officer. "Get me a shotgun."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Bring me a shotgun," he ordered. Two minutes later he aimed the high-powered gun in the direction of the gator. With one pull of the trigger he hit the ground close to the reptile, scaring the creature back a foot. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something promising, but he forced it from his mind so as not to lose his focus. Another shot close to the gator was all it took to drive the creature into the safety of the murky water, the easy meal forgotten. Without saying anything Horatio turned and handed the gun to Ryan, who took it and instantly readied the next shot, the barrel pointed toward the water. Horatio headed across the grass toward the body, falling to his knees as he got there. Gently he rolled Speed onto his back, felt for a pulse, praying that he would find one. He had not come all this way, had not watched his friend fight back from a gunshot that should have killed him only to have him done in by a bunch of cop haters. He moved his fingers to Speed's neck, pressed them down.

"He's alive," he cried to the waiting paramedics.

At the sound of his voice Speed's eyes fluttered open, his eyes cloudy with pain, dehydration. "Horatio…" His name merely a whisper on the wind.

Horatio actually felt tears on his cheeks. "Hey, buddy, you're safe now. I've got you."

Speed tried to smile, coughed instead, his whole body shaking. "There's….pain."

"It's okay. We'll make the pain go away, Tim. I promise. Just hang in there."

The paramedics were coming toward them with a stretch and their bag of equipment.

"So much…pain." His eyes fluttered closed.

"Speed, I need you to stay with me, buddy," pushed Horatio, reliving the moments so similar all those months ago. He hadn't lost his friend then and he'd be damned if he was going to lose him now. "Come on, Tim. Just stay with me."


	41. Inconsolable

**Chapter Forty-one: Inconsolable**

It took much convincing, a lot of pleading on his part to get the group of them to return to the lab with the few items that Speed had been wearing. Now of them wanted to leave because leaving meant that it was real. They would have to go back to the lab, process the handcuffs that had dug cruelly into Speed's wrists for the last five days. They would have to process the bloodied shirt, knowing that the blood on it belonged to Speed, belonged to their friend. Somehow he finally managed to get them to leave, got them to walk away. It broke his heart to send them away knowing how much pain they were in; he felt that same pain slowly consuming him. After five days the emotions had built up and now they were harder than ever to keep in check. Once he was alone he sank back down into the lush green grass, his hand coming to rest on the exact spot Speed had been lying when they found him. With his eyes closed he recalled the heartbreaking worry, the pain, the words softly spoken. Every second that passed seemed like an eternity. He could feel the faint pulse of Speed's heart as he held him close, as he comforted him much like he did a few months ago. All those fears came rushing back to him, consumed him, brought him to his knees, tears to his eyes. Very rarely, if ever, did he show such emotion on the job but there were moments in his life when it was impossible to hold back such...grief.

He felt a gentle hand upon his shoulder. Heard a voice say, "Come on, lieutenant, I'll give you a lift to the hospital." There was no ridicule in the voice, not sign of unease at seeing the great Horatio Caine showing weakness. A human reaction that affected him greatly. Dare he suggest that a hint of sorrow lingered in the words of the officer that helped him to his feet? Was he even willing to admit to himself the events that had transpired on this access road through the everglades? Would he ever be able to think of this day without feeling that tightening in his chest, the ache wrapping around his heart? Probably not, he thought as he settled into the patrol car. Just like the last time this day would cling to him, haunt him. He would have to deal with it.

They all would.

--

By the time they reached the hospital he'd managed to gain control of his emotions, forcing them deep inside and trapping them there. He was a professional. He could do this. He had done this so many times before. Thanking the officer for the ride he sent the patrolman on the way, then headed toward the doors of the emergency room. He knew what awaited him beyond those mechanical doors. The hustle and bustle of a big city emergency room filled with patients with all means of injuries, some sever while others would be so minor it wouldn't be a priority to the doctors working inside. There would be the smell of antiseptic, sterilizing fluids, rubber, medication, blood. He knew the place well. Perhaps a little more than he really wanted to, but in his line of work he kept coming back here, kept finding himself surrounded by doctors and nurses.

Would it ever get any easier?

He wasn't inside for even five minutes before a doctor with graying hair and a white lab coat covering hospital green scrubs approached him. A few of the people waiting in the offered chairs gave him curious glances as they tried to figure out what made him more important then them. But all they needed to see was he badge before they understood. All over the city the word had spread of the three cops. Missing, presumed dead. The grief on his face gave them answers to some questions while leaving them seeking answers for new questions. No doubt they would all be tuning into the news that evening to see the latest report. Horatio would not be joining them. He would not be sitting before his television to watch a news recap of the day. If he wanted to see it all played out again all he had to do was close his eyes, the images still fresh and oh so vivid in his mind.

"Lieutenant Caine," the doctor said, "would you follow me to a more private place so that we may talk?"

"Of course," Horatio said, unsure until then whether or not he'd be able to talk. He was still trying to process the afternoon's events. He followed the doctor down the hall where there was less people, his heart hammering in his chest with each step that he took. Finally the doctor turned to face him. Horatio listened quietly as the man began to talk, telling him things he wasn't sure he wanted to hear.

--

Hours later the sun was sinking below the horizon when Delko finally stumbled into the breakroom. Calleigh and Ryan were already sitting there, neither one speaking as they listened to the news reports coming across the television. For hours they had been busily running tests on the clothes Speed had been wearing in hopes of finding some sort of clue. Now they were waiting for the last batch of tests to finish, taking a break to rest their weary bones. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and collapsed into one of the chairs by the table, the last of his energy finally draining out of him. He was all prepared to say something when the voice of the news lady cut through the otherwise silent room.

"Earlier today we brought you news about a body found on a road running through the glades," the woman said. "It has now been confirmed that the body removed did indeed belong to one of the three missing officers. We have no other information at this time on which officer was found or how the man died. Stay with us as we continue to bring you coverage on this tragic story."

Ryan reached out and shut the TV off.


	42. Something That I Already Know

**Chapter Forty-two: Something that I already Know**

He drove quietly down the street, the radio turned off so he didn't have to listen to the news reports. He should have know that the city would be abuzz with the word of a dead cop. It made him sick to see all the people watching the news, held captivated by the story that he just could not bare to hear anymore. But he tried to look on the bright side of things, knowing that they were now starting to get somewhere on the case. Thanks to Speed's attempt to escape they were able to locate an old abandoned building deep in the everglades. Probably a camp for hunters years ago. They raided the place in hopes of retrieving Hagen and Jesup. Only neither the detective nor the officer was inside the building. What they did manage to find was evidence of stockpiled firearms, possibly even the makings of a bomb. And then, in a back room, they found a battery operated lantern and blood. Without even testing the blood they knew it belonged to Hagen and Jesup. To Speed. Actually locating the place, stepping into that room, gave them a sense of what their fallen comrades were going through. It also gave them a glimpse of how Speed made his brave escape in an effort to get help.

It made everything real, brought that reality crashing back down to earth.

This was really happening.

He pulled his truck into driveway, killed the engine, wasted no time in climbing out in the Miami morning. A blanket of clouds to the west threatened an afternoon of thunderstorms but he didn't care. There were other things on his mind, the weather all the way at the bottom of his list. As he walked toward the front door he resisted the urge to look around, focusing entirely on what he was doing. He waited less than a minute after knocking on the door before Horatio opened.

"Hey," he said, his voice low, even.

Horatio stepped back to invite him in. Over the years he'd been to his boss's house numerous times. Very few people realized just how close knit they were in the lab. The investigators, the lab techs, the detectives, they were all family. They had to trust each other with their lives and that brought them closer. Horatio closed the door behind him. When Delko turned to face him he was straightening the collar of his shirt. Horatio Caine, always impeccably dressed for work. Delko wondered often how his boss managed to wear a suit in the unbearable heat of Miami's summers. And he wondered even more so if his boss noticed how much Ryan wanted to be like him, wearing suits in the hot weather when he didn't have to.

"Everything is set. You shouldn't have any problems," Horatio said as he retrieved his keys from a table in the small foyer. "If by chance there is a problem, give me a call. If it's a big problem, they're out there watching."

"Okay. Let me know if you guys need any help at the lab," he said as Horatio pulled the door open again. This time he stepped out into the sun.

Looking back over his shoulder he said, "I'll call when I'm on my way back so as not to surprise you. Be careful, Delko," he said, his blue eyes searching those of his younger friend. "Please."

"I will, promise."

And like that he was left in foyer, Horatio having closed the door, on his way to work at the lab. For three days Delko had been waiting for this moment, this chance to be here and now he wasn't so sure it was what he wanted anymore. It had been a long time since he'd felt the familiar fluttering of nervous butterflies in his stomach. Almost akin to the feelings he experienced in high school. Or all those times when he…He forced that through from his mind, not wanting to think of that day outside the lab when he sat in the grass with Speed, the sun shining down upon them, Speed's newly acquired dog running around nearby. As if reading his mind Mite came padding out of the living room, his tail wagging lazily as he walked over to Delko. He couldn't resist the dog, reaching out to pat him on the head. Then he headed into the kitchen to grab a soda out of the fridge. Mite followed him, lying down on the cool tile of the kitchen floor.

Delko looked up sharply as he heard the sound of another person. For three days he had wanted nothing more than this moment and he found himself choked by emotion. He took a nervous sip of the soda in an attempt to move the lump forming in his throat. It must have worked because he heard himself say, "Morning."

His companion simply grumbled.

"You look like shit," Delko said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I feel like shit so thanks for confirming it for me."

"More than welcome. I do so love to be of help."

"So do I and that's why I feel the need to inform you that you also look like shit. What's up? Some girl decide to dump you for a hottie with a body and no mind?"

"Nice to see you acting like yourself," Delko remarked, taking the barb in stride. He watched as his companion shuffled into the kitchen. Watched as he stumbled, grabbing the counter for support. "Speed," the concern thick in his voice. Without thinking he went to him, his soda forgotten on the counter he'd been leaning against. All that mattered to him at that moment was his friend. He took hold of Speed's left arm, placed his other hand on Speed's right hip, all in an attempt to help steady him. A static of heat buzzed through him.

Three days, going on more like two weeks since they had taken Speed, and all that Delko wanted to do was be with him. Seeing him out there on the road in the everglades, so motionless, so…almost like he was dead. That had broken his heart, shattered it into many tiny pieces. Having to stay away while Speed was in the hospital and then secreted away to Horatio's house where he'd been these last three days sleeping in the guest bedroom. Just about everyone in Miami thought the body pulled out of the everglades that day belonged to a fallen officer. But that was their way of covering up Speed's survival. Let the militia group think that had won this round. As far as anyone knew Delko was only at the house to keep an eye on Mite. Outside, hidden around the neighborhood, were agents from the Federal government. They still hadn't taken complete control of the case, the agent in charge having been impressed with the lab's record, but they wanted to make sure that their guys were watching Speed. For days Delko had to deal with only hearing about how Speed was doing through Horatio. Now he finally got to see him, got to hold him. He could feel those tiny shards of his shattered heart slowly piecing themselves back together. What would he have done without Speed?

Seeing Speed lying on the ground, blood soaked into his shirt, dried blood covering the bruises on his face, he figured his friend dead. When he got the report with the others from Horatio how serious the wounds were he found himself on precarious footing. He wanted to be happy while at the same time he wanted to start crying. In the short time that they had him they'd done a really number on him, beating him. He had a black eye that became extensive bruising over his cheek. There had been dried blood in his ear on that side which had the doctors concerned. In the end they found he had a mild concussion, and they were still unsure if the slight hearing loss would be temporary or long term. Two ribs were broken clean through while a third was cracked. There were countless soft tissue injuries that would need icing over the course of days to keep the pain at bay.

But there were two things in specific that had the doctors concerned, two things that made it so Horatio or someone else was always with Speed, watching him.

One of those was his spleen. According to the news he heard from Horatio that night Delko knew they were worried about internal bleeding. The beating given to Speed had been that awful. They rushed him through the CT scan to make sure, found nothing but a slight discoloration around the spleen. They were unable to tell if it was merely bruising to the surrounding tissue or a slow bleed. Horatio passed along to Delko the symptoms he needed to keep a look out for that could very well mean there was a slow bleed killing their friend.

The other concern was his previous gunshot wound. The healing had been going so well that the doctors okayed Speed's return to work. But the beating sent them backtracking, the tissue damaged once again. The blood soaked into his shirt came from the torn skin, the wound reopened. They worried that previously healed tissue re-damaged would lead to a long list of complications.

They sent Speed home after keeping him in the hospital for a short time with strict guidelines that he was to spend most of his day, three fourths in fact, in bed. Delko knew that in two days Speed would be back in the hospital for a follow-up exam, he hoped that it remained nothing more than a follow-up.

And now, as he stood there in Horatio's kitchen looking at the battered love of his life he felt a numbing ache in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of pain that Speed was in. He wanted to take it all away, make everything better. It didn't seem fair to him that Speed should have to go through this pain once again. Had he not just spent months cooped up in his apartment as he healed from a bullet that should have ended his life?

"Let go of me, Eric," he said. "I don't need you to hold me. I don't need you guys to baby me."

Delko frowned, wondering where the sudden anger came from. "Excuse me for being concerned. I care about you."

"Tell me something I don't know," remarked Speed. Despite his protests to be let go he made not attempt to free himself from Delko's grip. Something inside of Delko seemed to snap or maybe it clicked but for once, without fear, he found himself leaning toward Speed, into him. He brought their lips together and felt another rush of heat, this time starting in his toes and quickly working its way up his entire body until he felt he was going to be consumed by the fire inside. A second later Speed broke the kiss by turning his face to the side. He couldn't bring himself to look up. "Don't…just…don't."

When Speed turned to go Delko made no attempt to stop him, watching as the man he loved shuffled painfully back to the solitary comfort of Horatio's guest bedroom. The next thing he knew he was sitting on the floor, his back pressed up against the cabinets. Mite came over and laid his head in Delko's lap with a soft whimper.


	43. Any Other Way

**Chapter Forty-three: Any Other Way**

There was a soft knock on the door, distracting him from the book in his hands. He didn't mind the interruption since he'd been staring at the same page for the last hour and a half, the words a blurry black mess. After the initial confrontation with Delko in the kitchen earlier that morning he kept to the bedroom, stuck in bed like the doctor ordered. Things were once again on rocky ground between him and his once best friend. Why did Delko have to keep pushing for something more than friendship when he wasn't standing on solid ground? So much shit had been going on in his life as of late that sometimes he couldn't tell up from down or left from right. The last thing he wanted to worry about was a relationship and the added drama that came along with it. And to be perfectly honest, he still wasn't too sure about how he felt for Delko.

He heard the soft knock again, followed by Horatio's voice. "Speed?"

"Yeah, H?" He'd gotten so lost in his thoughts that he'd forgotten about having a visitor.

Horatio opened the bedroom door and walked in, Mite following behind him. The dog sure had taken to the leader of the crime lab but that didn't really surprise Speed, what was there to hate about someone like Horatio? "How are you feeling?"

"Kind of like I got run over by a truck," Speed replied. He closed the book and set it aside on the bed.

"No change in the pain?"

"It hasn't gotten any worse," he said, hoping that maybe they could change the subject. He hated to be reminded of how fragile he was, how fragile they all were. "How are things going on the case? Are we any closer to getting Hagen and Jesup back?"

Horatio settled on the foot of the bed. "Unfortunately, no."

He felt a sudden stab of pain in his chest where the bullet had pierced him. On reflex he placed his hand over the area like it contained the magical powers needed to get rid of the pain. "What…" He winced but quickly covered it up. "Do you think we'll find them in time?"

The wince of pain wasn't lost on Horatio and though he was worried he chose to keep quiet. He knew that having someone ask about your well-being every hour could get tedious and annoying. Sometimes the mind needed a distraction. And Speed would talk when he was ready. Horatio massaged the back of his neck, trying to choose his next words carefully. What was he supposed to do, lie about the situation or tell Speed the truth? His friend understood the ins and outs of crimes so the truth would be okay. But in his current state would it be a wise choice to talk about the probability of Hagen and Jesup getting back where they belonged?

"You'd better not be thinking of lying to me," Speed suddenly said to break the silence.

When Horatio looked at him there was a sadness in his eyes. "Speed….Tim, you know the statistics as well as I do when it comes to victims of kidnap."

"They're usually dead in the first two hours. But I spoke with Jesup. He wasn't dead. Neither was Hagen."

"True," Horatio slowly nodded his head, his voice taking on the tone of a father trying to explain to a child why something bad had happened. "But it's been days, Speed. From what you told me Hagen was barely hanging on and now…with all the time that has passed I'm finding it less and less likely that they will be returned to us alive. Then again," he was quick to add when he noticed the dark cloud pass over Speed's features, "the militia group took them to make a statement. Maybe they've kept them alive all this time. Maybe they have a specific use for them in mind."

Silence quickly settled over the room as Speed retreated inside of himself to escape the pain and the guilt of leaving behind his colleagues. He should have stayed with them to make sure that they all got out alive. When he left, kicked out that hole, he had not been thinking of the consequences. He focused solely on bringing help but in the end he was the one that ended up getting the help. Now Jesup and Hagen were long gone, traces of them left at the warehouse, their whereabouts unknown. Perhaps if he had stayed behind things would have worked out better. There would have been three people to spread the beatings over instead of focusing on just the two, one of whom looked close to death. Frustrated, mad at himself for being so stupid and selfish he climbed off the bed. He could feel the anger boiling inside of him, anger at himself, loathing for what he'd done. He made the wrong choice and now two officers were pretty much dead because of him. He hated to think of the pain their families were going to go through because of his error. How could he have been so stupid?

"Speed…" Horatio hadn't been expecting his injured friend to get out of bed, especially after seeing the pain in his eyes. He watched as the injured investigator headed toward the door in a fast but painful walk. Then he watched as Speed trembled, falling to his knees in the bedroom doorway. "Speed."

He was up off the bed and at Speed's side in the blink of an eye. When he fell to the carpet beside him he saw the tears coursing down Speed's cheeks. Without saying anything he drew him close. Everybody at work was worried about Speed but no one worried more than he did. Since the shooting so much had changed for his younger friend, so much about _him_ had changed. Where was the guy that used to joke around with Delko? The investigator that never missed a clue or piece of evidence? Where was the young man that went out at night after shift to live his life? So many things had changed and he worried about the psychological effect that it was all having on Speed.

"Why couldn't things have ended differently?" Speed said. "Why did I stupidly leave them behind? I should have stayed."

"You got out, Tim. You did what you thought was right," said Horatio. "And if in the end you are the only one to come out alive, then so be it. At least one of you will have made it through."

"It should be me. I should be the one lying cuffed on some floor waiting for death to take me away…"

"Stop that, Timothy." It hurt Horatio to hear him saying such things.

"They don't deserve to die."

"Neither do you."

"Why?" he asked forcefully, pushing himself away from Horatio. He struggled to his feet, using the doorframe to help himself up. "What the fuck makes me so special? Why should I be given so many chances at life, huh?"

Horatio had no answer.

"Here I am, living it up, safe in the clutches of FBI agents as they keep an eye on your house," he continued. "I should be out in the everglades listening to screams, the smell of blood filling my senses. I should be fighting to stay awake, to stay alive."

"Tim…"

"They're going to die because of me. I left them, Horatio. I just left them there without even thinking about what would happen afterward. I killed them!"

"Stop, Speed. Do you have any idea what it's like to hear you say those things? Count yourself damn lucky that Calleigh isn't here to hear you. It would break her heart. And what about Delko? I guess it's a good thing that I sent him to the lab. Hearing you talk like this, it would tear him up inside. You know how he feels about you, Speed."

The light of anger faded from Speed's eyes, the self-hatred boiling down for the time being. He sagged against the doorframe. In a weaker voice Horatio heard him say, "He kissed me today."

"Did he?"

"I turned him away. I turned him away because I don't want to break his heart…"

"Speed…"

Without saying anything he trudged back into the bedroom and settled back on the bed, his arms wrapped protectively around his chest. Horatio thought about following him, talking things out but there had been enough anger and self loathing tonight. So he decided it would be best to leave Speed alone for a while, let him sort through his thoughts. But as he returned to the kitchen to start dinner he couldn't help but worry about his friend's wellbeing. Would he ever fully recover from the traumatic events haunting him or would they be his undoing in the end?


	44. One in a Million

**Chapter Forty-four: One in a Million**

When his phone rang later that night he hadn't expected the call to be coming from Delko. He was even more surprised to learn where the other man was calling from. There was something that needed to be discussed but Delko refused to talk about it over the phone. Horatio did not mind the overly cautious way his friends were working lately. After what had happened to Speed they had definitely grown closer, always leaving the lab in groups of three or more. They were not going to give the militia group another victim. No matter how much he pressed for the information Delko refused to talk over the phone, the slightest note of fear evident in his voice. Something was wrong and that was the only reason Horatio got out of bed. The house was dark, Speed sound asleep in the bedroom across the hall, his dog curled up at the foot of the bed. Horatio made sure to check on them before heading into the kitchen. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave Speed alone in the house, a sitting duck for the militia group. The FBI had not talked about such events arising so at first he didn't know what to do. He knew that the agents were out there watching, knew their exact locations but…what if they missed something? What if by some chance a member of the militia managed to get past them, sneak into the house and finish what they started out there in the everglades? He looked back over his shoulder. He owed Speed a safe haven, a place where he could sleep without worrying about waking to find a gun pointed at his head.

Slipping quietly out the front door, the gun holstered on his hip giving him little comfort, he headed across the street. One of the agents had bunked down with an ex-firefighter who lived across from Horatio. He knew that the agent stayed up at nights, sitting in the big bay window watching Horatio's house. Trying to act casual he stepped up to the door and knocked. A few seconds later the agent opened the door. It didn't take long for Horatio to get across his concern, to explain the situation. Before he left, as the door closed, he heard the agent radioing all his colleagues to put them on high alert that their victim was in the house alone.

Horatio felt only marginally better knowing the agents would be watching intently. He still wished that someone was actually in the house with Speed aside from the dog. One bullet would take out the dog. An armed agent would be harder. Reluctantly he climbed into his Hummer and backed out of the driveway.

The lights were aglow at the lab when he got there. He noticed that Delko's truck wasn't the only vehicle in the parking lot that should have gone home hours ago. Without missing a beat he walked into the building, surprised to find that they were waiting for him in one of the police conference rooms, Delko leaning against the door frame much the way Speed had earlier in the evening. A quick glance in the direction of the clock told Horatio that it was nearing midnight. What were they all still doing here? They should have been at home getting much needed rest. He entered the room to find Calleigh fidgeting in her chair and Ryan talking in hushed tones with Cooper. Delko pulled the door closed behind them.

"What is this all about?"

"We might have something," Delko said.

"Something you didn't want to talk about over the phone."

"Precisely."

"Start from the top."

Delko nodded at Ryan who picked up the conversation. "Remember the plant material that we identified? I was going over Tim's clothes and found pollen from the same plant. Of course, we already knew that the plant was popular here in the state for how well it grows in tropical climates. Now, most of the pollen was on his pants, almost like he'd been forced to sit in it. So I thought it was weird to find something similar on the side of his shirt. At first I thought, well, maybe he rubbed against the offending plant. But then I noticed that the pollen color wasn't exactly the same shade as that from the Brugmansia. I ran the pollen and it came back to a plant known as the Bat Ear. Turns out that they're not so common."

"It was the only lead we had," Delko said. "Only one garden supply store sells Bat Ear plants. They haven't sold any in a while since they can be kind of hard to grow but they know of a place where the plants do grow. Seems that a few years back they sold some seeds to an older woman. She got the plants to grow, would even sell them seedlings."

Horatio wasn't exactly sure where this was going. "And?"

Calleigh was the one that spoke up. "The address we got from the store owner seems like the perfect place to take hostages. The house sits at the end of a dead end, one of those classic Miami walls surrounding it. Lots of foliage to hide the place. Seems this woman really liked her gardening. Between the three of us we managed to find records on the property. The old lady died four years ago, left the house to her son; which remains in his custody, as far as we can tell."

"What makes you think he's our guy?"

A smile slowly spread across Calleigh's face. "Because it all points back to him. His family used to own that old building in the everglades before the state confiscated it in a drug bust seven years ago. The houses on either side of his are up for sale, no one has lived in them for the last six months or so. This means there's nobody to notice weird things. And the biggest connection of all? He spent time in jail for assaulting an officer over a speeding ticket."

"Good work," Horatio said, everything finally falling to place. "When do you want to move in?"

"Frank is already rounding up the troops. We figured we should go in fast; give them no time to even realize that we're on to them."

Horatio looked around the room at them. "You do realize that this could be a one in a million chance." They all nodded. "All right, as long as you know that….let's go. If Hagen and Jesup are there I want them in our custody before sun up."


	45. Panic

Note: Where did all the readers go? Don't leave me now, part two is going to be so good.

**Chapter Forty-five: Panic**

It didn't take long for Frank to get the troops rounded up. Many of the officers had been waiting for this moment, chomping at the bit, eager to get their hands on the guys who placed targets on their backs. The SWAT guys, fire burning fiercely in their eyes, were talking about what sort of things they would like to do to members of the militia. Their superiors listened without problem, knowing that when it came time to do their job they would do it like they were trained. Trash talk was allowed; it helped get out the anger, the motives that led many a good cop to doing the wrong thing. Horatio tried to convince his friends to stay behind at the lab where they would be safest. He didn't want them out on the front line. What if this became an all out shooting, a gun fight between the warring factions? He wouldn't be able to handle it if any of them got hurt. But he couldn't get them to stay behind. It was their case; they did all the hard work. And they wanted to see it through for the sake of Speed and Hagen and Jesup. Nothing he said changed their minds. So they suited up, almost like they were walking to an active war zone. He would make sure to keep an eye on all of them while they were out there, never letting them slip out of his line of sight. He would take care of them; make sure that they got home safe.

But it wasn't to be. As they were climbing into the Hummer his cell phone rang. He checked the number, frowning, as he did not immediately recognize the number. Then something in his brain clicked. Excusing himself he walked a few feet away from everyone so that he was out of range of the commotion and able to hear the voice on the other end. With a sinking heart he heard the bad news. Surprisingly he took it in stride. Later, on the drive back to his house, he kept telling himself that he was hiding the truth from Delko and Calleigh and Ryan so as not to worry them. Not when they were going into a volatile situation.

He pulled the Hummer into his driveway, the lights of his house a blaze, a black SUV parked along the curb, headlights on. Someone stood in the doorway of his home. As he got closer he realized that it was the agent from across the street.

"What exactly happened?" Horatio barked, not even bothering to keep his anger in check. He trusted them to keep an eye on his friend, on someone he loved.

The agent looked distraught but managed to keep his cool. "One of my guys noticed movement in the house, called it in. So when the front door opened I was ready. Weird for the front door to open, for someone to step out like that. I waited for confirmation of…well, anything. No cars drove up to pick-up the person who exited your house. None of my guys heard gunfire. So we got curious."

"Where's Speed?"

Now the agent looked sheepish, almost like a child being scolded. "That's just it, lieutenant, we don't know."

Horatio felt his heart skip a beat. Had the group somehow gotten a hold of Speed again? "What do you mean you don't know? You have fifteen guys watching my house." It took all his strength to keep from threatening the agent, to keep the anger and worry restrained.

"We searched the house, lieutenant. Found the dog locked in the bathroom barking like crazy. But no sign of your guy. There's no evidence to suggest a struggle," he continued. "No blood, nothing knocked over. Almost like he got up and walked away."

"You think he was the person slipping out, don't you?"

The agent shrugged. "Seems that way to me."

Horatio didn't say anything as he brushed past the agent into his own home. Something about the situation didn't feel right. And when he got to the bedroom he knew what was bugging him. The dog. Why would Speed lock Mite in the bathroom? It didn't seem like a logical thing to do. He would have been able to slip out of the house without having to worry about the dog, which was amazingly well behaved. No, there had to be another reason for Mite to end up locked away in the bathroom. Looking around the room he noticed that everything was in place. Speed's book was on the nightstand with his bottle of pain medication and a glass of water. The bed looked slept in. Like the agent said, no evidence of a struggle. He was set to walk by down the hall to join the agent when he felt a slight breeze. It came from his room. Baffled he flipped on the light, illuminating his room. Mite came down the hallway, head hanging, the agent behind him.

"Something wrong, lieutenant?"

"My bedroom window is open," Horatio pointed out.

The agent frowned. "You mean…we figured that you opened the window." Horatio followed his line of theory, understanding it since the screen was still in place.

"I think the person you witnessed walking out of my front door broke into my house with the intent of going after Speed," he said as he closed off the bedroom to preserve evidence. He started back down the hallway. "Only, he didn't find what he was looking for."

"You've lost me," the agent said as he followed Horatio out the front door. Mite wasn't that far behind them, he whimpered as they stopped on the porch.

Horatio turned toward the agent. "Speed wasn't in the house."

"He had to be. None of my guys reported seeing anybody but the figure walking out the front door."

"Speed doesn't sleep well, not with all the pain. He would have heard me leave and he would have heard someone trying to break into the house. You said that Mite was locked in the bathroom. He would have done that to keep the dog safe. Nobody thinks to shoot an unthreatening animal. Why even bother with the dog? When he didn't find Speed he simply walked out the front door to throw your guys off. He must have known you were watching the house," explained Horatio.

The agent crossed his arms over his chest. "So where's your guy if he didn't leave the house?"

Horatio smiled knowingly. "He did leave the house. He hid inside. And while your men concentrated on the front door he slipped out my bedroom window."

"Why?"

"To let me know that he was okay. How many home invasions have you been to where the perp breaks in through a window and takes time to replace the screen?"

Now the agent smiled, finally seeing things from Horatio's point of view. "None."

"Precisely. Now as to where Speed is…"

An agent came running across the yard with a look of amusement and bewilderment on his face. "Sir," he said addressing the agent standing beside Horatio. "I think we located our missing person."

Horatio studied the agent, noting the sense of urgency in the man's voice. "Is he okay?"

"He looks fine, lieutenant. But he's pointing a gun at one of the other agents. He won't let us anywhere near him."

"Take me to him. He's probably afraid that you guys are militia members dressed as agents."

"Wouldn't be the first time someone tried to impersonate an agent," muttered the superior agent. He and Horatio followed the subordinate down the sidewalk to a house that had been on the market for the last two weeks. The closer the got the easier it was to see that something was wrong. An agent stood on the sidewalk with his hands in the air while two others had pulled their weapons. Horatio broke away from the two agents, jogging toward the scene. When he got there he found Speed standing with his back pressed against a tree, most likely using it for added support. There was a gun in his hand which swung in Horatio's direction. When he saw that it was his boss he let the weapon fall to his side.

"H."

Horatio walked over to him, taking the gun from his hand. He kept the weapon in the drawer of his nightstand like so many other officers he knew. "Are you okay?"

Speed actually smiled a little. "Other than rethinking the idea of climbing out the window?"


	46. Everything but Mine

**Chapter Forty-six: Everything but Mine**

Unaware of the events taking place across the city at their boss's house Calleigh and Delko and Ryan were paired with members of SWAT. Everybody was briefed on how the take down would be done. The three crime scene investigators were told that they'd have to hang around in the back; direct orders from the lieutenant himself. Horatio, even when he wasn't there he still managed to keep an eye out for them. Delko gave Calleigh a nervous hug before following his group of SWAT members to the back of the house. Ryan was sent to the side while she stayed out front with the majority of the men. Usually it would have pissed her off to have them think her incapable of her job but in this situation against cop killers, it didn't bother her so much. She saw what they did to Speed, overheard him telling Horatio how the others looked while he was there. She hated being treated like a fragile piece of glass, one bump enough to shatter her; however, she wanted to make sure she could be there by Hagen's bedside when he awoke. She wasn't going to miss a thing.

The plan was to do things slow, go in under the cover of darkness with the first rays of dawn looming on the horizon. The heavily armored members of SWAT would use their stealth training to overtake most of the people in the building. At last count the snipers had reported at least ten people inside, most of them visibly unarmed, leaving the ground members on alert for hidden weapons.

But the plan didn't go off that way. Someone must have spotted something, a person dressed in black moving through the foliage; maybe they heard the crackle of a radio. Whatever it was it gave away the surprise attack. Calleigh flinched slightly as the sound of shooting filled the night. She could hear guns going off somewhere around the back of the house and her first thoughts were of Delko. She prayed that he'd make it out alive so that maybe things could finally happen between him and Speed. And of course, thinking of Speed made her wonder about the call that Horatio had gotten, the one that dragged him away from them with a fearful look in his eyes. Had something happened while he was out of the house? Was Speed okay? Slowly she began to realize that all of the stress from the last few days was starting to get to her. She couldn't focus on her work. All she could think about was Speed and his recovery; Delko and Ryan walking out of this situation alive; finding Hagen and Jesup.

One of the uniformed officers, someone that wasn't part of SWAT but held a high ranking, leaned over, said something to her. She wasn't sure exactly what he said but she recalled him easing the gun out of her hands. She let him. Then she turned and headed back to the safety of the vehicles. It wasn't a cowardly thing to do, she thought as she closed the door of the Hummer. Letting her head hang down she began to cry. Knowing when to walk away was the brave thing. She didn't have to prove herself as a tough street officer to the men outside, waiting, firearms pointed in the direction of the house. They all understood the pressure. Sometimes it just got to be too much. Horatio would understand. Delko, Ryan, Speed; they would all understand. And she knew that she was not alone. That hug from Delko, he gave so much of himself away with it. She had felt the slight tremble in his hands, felt the increase, almost panic-like beat of his heart. They all knew that at any moment one of them could be gunned down by a bunch of cop hating maniacs.

And all she could do was sit in the Hummer, tears marring her cheeks, and pray for her boys to come back safely.

--

Delko wanted to go in with the SWAT members but was told to hang back. Five men had gone with him and one remained outside with him. Little did he know that Ryan had been put in the same spot. Neither one of the CSI's was going to be allowed into the building until the head of SWAT gave the all clear. When the shooting first started he felt the heat of bullets as they whizzed past him. He heard one make a direct hit in the tree no more than a foot behind him. And then SWAT was moving, breaching the house, returning fire. The noise was something else, deafening. He wanted to cover his ears but was afraid to let go of his weapon, afraid to let down his guard. He thought about Speed and realized that he was happy the man he loved was back at Horatio's, off duty because he was hurt. At least he wasn't here with them to witness the shoot out. That would have been too much for him.

He heard a branch snap, jostling him from his thoughts. The SWAT member swung his high-powered rifle in the direction of the sound. A second later a deranged man brandishing a machete came charging out of the bushes heading straight toward them. Delko raised his gun to fire off a round but the SWAT guy beat him to it, dropping the machete wielding maniac to the ground in the blink of an eye. Once he hit the ground the guy stopped moving, the bullet having played ping-pong in his skull.

He should have cared about the life taken right in front of his eyes but he didn't. For all he knew the dead man with the machete was the one who hurt Speed, the one who broke his ribs. The one who could have beat him to death.

--

Things on Ryan's side were even worse. The gunfire was heavy; the SWAT guys couldn't even approach the house without getting shot at. If not for their head to toe protective clothing they would have been killed instantly. As it was Ryan found himself crouched over a SWAT guy who'd been shot in the chest. The Kevlar vest stopped the bullet but the man was stunned, the air forced out of his lungs. His team mates left him in Ryan's care. But when that man came out of the house with the Uzi, all hell broke loose. There was a lot of yelling, a cacophony of gunfire. The smell of gunpowder was thick in the air when it was all said and done, the man with the Uzi lying on the ground with four shots to the chest and the bullet in the brain that finally killed him, courtesy of one of the snipers.

Then the eerie silence settled in…


	47. Trouble Is

**Chapter Forty-seven: Trouble Is**

Calleigh looked around the hospital with a look of unease upon her face. Last time she'd been in this place it was because Speed nearly died. She hated to have the memories forced so thoroughly back into the forefront of her mind. And so shortly after another shooting. She could feel her stomach churning, a dizzy feeling coming over her. Thankfully as she wandered the white halls she came across a set of chairs outside a room. Since nobody was occupying them she figured it wouldn't matter if she took a sit until the feelings passed. As she sank into the uncomfortable wooden chair, the padded seat having been worn over the years, she felt the tears stinging her eyes. The raid on the militia home hadn't exactly gone as planned. There were wounded and dead, though there was some comfort in the fact that those who had died were not innocent civilians or members of law enforcement. But those simple facts didn't make the impact of the event on her any less. She kept hearing the shooting of the guns. Combined with the noises of the busy hospital she couldn't get images of Speed lying on a gurney and being rushed to the hospital out of her mind.

She wiped away her tears with a shaky hand.

"Calleigh?"

The voice surprised her. She looked up to her left. "H, what are you doing here?" Had someone called him to the hospital from the scene? Then she remembered the look on his face when he got called away a few hours ago. "Oh god…is Tim okay?"

He settled in the chair next to her, his elbows resting on his thighs, his sunglasses in his hands. "He's fine. Someone broke into my house but Speed got out unharmed. He climbed out the window."

"Quick thinking," Calleigh said as she noted Horatio's sly smile. "If everything was okay why…?"

He looked at her, his eyes not the vibrant blue they usually were. "He seemed to be feeling fine when we found him but by the time we walked the short distance back to the house…He said he wasn't feeling too good. Though I think his exact words were something along the lines of feeling 'funny'."

"Is he going to be okay?" The last thing she needed was to find herself worrying about Speed again. There was already so much on her mind, the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"His doctor took him to get a CT scan," answered Horatio. "Just to make sure that everything's okay. How did the raid go?"

Calleigh pushed her grief and worry deep inside and slipped into a more professional mode. "I think all ten militia members in the house ended up dead. Maybe one or two of them got out wounded, though somewhat seriously. According to Delko he had a man with a machete come running at him. A SWAT guy killed the guy with a single bullet between the eyes." She paused as she collected herself once again. She didn't want to think about the possibility of how things would have ended had that SWAT guy not been with Delko.

"Calleigh?" Horatio placed a hand on her shoulder.

She smiled, though somewhat unconvincingly. "I'm all right, Horatio, just trying to decide what's important right now and what isn't. Let's see…"

"Were any of our guys hurt?"

"Ryan," she said without hesitating. If she didn't get it out now she'd never find the words to speak.

"How seriously?"

"The doctor was looking him over when I left but from what I saw, not too much to worry about. He won't have full use of his left arm for awful."

"Did they find Hagen and Jesup?"

"No," Calleigh shook her head with her eyes closed. "They didn't find Hagen. I didn't think we were going to find them but surprise of all surprises, Jesup was in the basement. He wasn't conscious, alive though."

Horatio stood and offered her his hand. "Why don't we get fetch Speed and then head over to see how Ryan and Jesup are?"

--

The three of them trooped through the hospital to the emergency room which was swarming with officers, mostly members of the SWAT who had been unfortunate enough to end up wounded at the scene. Speed could feel the anxiety washing over and through him. He wanted so desperately to get out of the hospital, having grown to hate the place in the last few months. Unfortunately for him it was going to be another few months before he was finished with it completely, and that was only if he could manage to stay out of harm's way. He counted himself lucky to get through the batch of tests without much more than a stern warning from his doctor about him needing to stay in bed. There had been a little tearing to the continually healing wound in his chest but that was it. Everything else looked to be on the mend.

He stopped beside Calleigh as Horatio threaded his way through the crowd to find a doctor he could talk to. Speed looked around the emergency room, the anxiety growing worse with every passing second. He could feel the familiar tightening in his chest, the increase in the beat of his heart. As if reading his mind, or maybe just his body language, Calleigh reached out and took hold of his hand, giving him a gentle squeeze. Before he could say anything Horatio waved them over, starting down a hallway after the doctor. The two of them followed after, finding it relatively easy to get through the emergency room. Calleigh kept a firm grip on his hand as they went down the hall. He wasn't sure if the affect of comfort was more for him or for her. He didn't think it would be right to ask.

The doctor led them to a room a ways off from the hubbub of the emergency room and all its people. Dare he think that it was actually quiet in this part of the hallway? Aside form the beep of machines that he could hear through partially closed doors. The doctor said that normally only one person was allowed in a room at time but for them he was willing to make an exception this time. Horatio thanked him. Together they trooped into the room, the door closing behind them. Only once they were in the room did Calleigh let go of his hand as she crossed the room toward Ryan, who stood there with his arm in a sling. She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Delko, Ryan, are the two of you good?"

Delko nodded. Ryan lifted his arm encased in the sling, wincing slightly in pain. "Through and through, only damaged muscle. After a few weeks I'll be as good as new."

Speed could feel the anxiety easing from his body, though he wasn't sure why. The beeping of the heart monitor _did_ make him cringe slightly, the sound reminding him of what it was like to come awake in the hospital after the shooting.

"How's Officer Jesup?" Horatio asked.

Delko looked momentarily at the sleeping officer in the bed, wires and tubes running here and there. "A few broken ribs. Mild concussion. Hairline fracture to his jaw. Dislocated shoulder. Severely sprained wrist. And a fracture to his right femur. They really gave him a beating. Doctor says he's lucky."

"And there was no sign of Hagen?"

With a shake of his head Ryan said, "I think he was there. I saw some evidence down in the basement that suggests two people were being kept there. I wouldn't be surprised if we just missed him."

Though he stood there listening to them talk Speed wasn't really paying attention to them or the conversation. He was trying to make sense of things. Out in the hallway he'd been so close to having an anxiety attack but now, he felt as normal as someone standing in the hospital could. He ignored the aches of his bruised muscles, the annoying beeping and whirs of the machines. Here in this room he actually felt almost comfortable. And then, as he locked eyes with Delko, he began to understand why. Out in the emergency room proper he'd noticed that Delko was not present. That's when the anxiety began to set in. But there he stood now, in one piece and unharmed. And the anxiety was gone. And Speed wasn't quite sure what to make of it.


	48. Unmistakable

**Chapter Forty-eight: Unmistakable**

He was brooding. There was no doubt about it. For the last few weeks he'd done nothing but brood over one thing or another. And once again, as leaned back in the chair with his arms crossed over his chest, he found himself thinking about going back to New York. Moving back home would not be the end all. Horatio had nothing but nice things to say about the crew working the New York crime lab. In fact, he spoke most highly of Detective Mac Taylor. Maybe he could move home and start fresh, get a job in a new lab where he didn't know the people so well. A place where he wasn't so attached to his co-workers. And getting out of Miami had its benefits. It got him as far away from the shooting as possible. Maybe all he really needed was distance between him and the city that caused him so much heartache.

But there was one big drawback to leaving.

His friends.

How would he get on with having Calleigh there to try and brighten his day? And what about Delko? There were still a lot of things there that needed sorting out. His leaving would hurt them all, though he figured it would have the biggest impact on Horatio. The two of them had gotten close over the years, even more so after the shooting. He'd feel like he was walking out on his family if he left but there was a lot of pain, a lot of confusion in his life at the moment and leaving…meant he was running away. He let out a heavy sigh, regretting it instantly as the dull ache in his chest started acting up. He wondered how long before the ache went away for good. Maybe then he could start feeling normal again.

"Tim, are you feeling up to do some work?" Horatio asked as he walked into the room, his blue eyes having lost some of their vibrant coloring. Speed immediately felt a stab of pain. Here he was mourning his life, thinking of packing his things and running with his tail tucked between his legs when it was Horatio's world that currently lay in ruin.

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Ryan needs help in the Trace Lab. He can only do so much with his arm in a sling," remarked Horatio, a faint smile appearing on his face. "I tried to send him home but he's much like you in the way that he likes to see cases through."

"Don't give a second thought," Speed said.

"Thanks Speed. I'm hoping to get something off of Jesup's clothing that could lead us to Hagen."

Speed stood, ignoring the ache in his muscles. "How's Calleigh fairing?"

"She's hanging on."

They started down the hallway, Speed shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He chewed nervously on his bottom lip.

"Something on your mind?"

"Just been thinking."

"About?"

Speed didn't get the chance to answer as Horatio's phone began to ring and then the beeper on Speed's hip went off. The page came through from Delko. As he listened to Horatio talk he knew that Tripp was on the other end of the line. A cloud of worry passed over Horatio's features leaving Speed to feel slightly sickened. The last thing they needed was to have another one of their team members end up hurt. After a few minutes Horatio hung up. He started off down the hallway at a good clip, Speed barely able to keep up. When his boss told him that they'd possibly found Hagen he felt his heart skip a beat. Without wasting another minute the two of them rounded up Ryan and headed out of the lab. None of them spoke as they cut through the late morning traffic on their way to the crime scene. Horatio had not said one way or the other on whether Hagen was alive or not. That put an air of unease in the care.

When they pulled up on the scene there were patrol cars all over the place and two Hummers from crime lab, not including their own. Speed spotted at least two K-9 units and a few officers in what looked like riot gear. It made him feel uneasy. Being called out to a crime scene used to be routine. Now that the cops were under fire they were going out in droves. He hated to think that doing his job meant having officers with specially trained dogs and men in body armor watching over him. What was the world coming to that he couldn't do his job safely? For a fleeting moment he thought that perhaps this wasn't the job he wanted anymore. But as quickly as that thought came, it went. Despite the increase of danger he loved his job. He loved being able to bring closure to those lives affected by violent crime. It was something he picked up from Horatio.

As a group the three of them headed toward the center of the commotion. When he looked around a second time he noticed that lacking from the array of emergency vehicles was the standard ambulance. That did not bode well. He spotted Delko talking with one of the officers but could not locate Calleigh. He knew that she should be here somewhere. Even if they tried to hide the discovery of Hagen she would find out. She always managed to find out.

"Frank, fill me in," Horatio said as they came upon their friend.

He looked weary, tired around the eyes. "Call came into dispatch about twenty minutes ago. A jogger found him down there," Tripp pointed toward some bushes near a pond.

"And?"

"He's been rushed to the hospital," answered Tripp. "The jogger preformed CPR when he realized that Hagen wasn't breathing, got his heart started again, by god. The paramedics say that could very well have saved his life, though he's not out of the woods yet. Not by far."

"Have you seen Calleigh?" Ryan asked as the thought once again crossed Speed's mind.

Tripp nodded. "She went in the ambulance with him. I saw no reason to make her stay." He started walking toward a corner of the parking lot that had been cordoned off with not one but two rows of police tape. Speed had never seen anything like it before. "You may want to see this, Horatio."

They followed him, standing outside the yellow barricade. Someone had taken the time to scrawl a message on the pavement in what looked like red paint. A gruesome thought popped into his head before he could stop it; why use paint when they had the body of an officer? Why not just use his blood instead of mimicking the affect? The message simply read, _the apocalypse is now._

"What do you make of that?" Trip asked.

"It's unmistakable, Frank," Horatio said. "They've made a direct threat. Our assault must have really ticked them off. They are planning something big. Make sure that everyone is on alert, Frank. Things are going to get a whole hell of a lot worse."


	49. Downpour

**Chapter Forty-nine: Downpour**

Horatio started ordering people around after that. He wanted Delko to work the area where Hagen had been found. Ryan was given the lighter task of handling the message to see what sort of evidence he could gather from there. Speed was to do a perimeter search to find anything that might get overlooked. Horatio didn't have to say anymore to him, he knew what his boss was talking about. Sometimes the officers would see a piece of trash or something else along those lines and brush it off as nothing. But that 'nothing' could very well be an important something. With an officer to accompany his every move, by order of Horatio, he began to do a sweep of the area. He found three candy wrappers, one soda can, a cup from a gas station, and a plastic shopping bag. He bagged and tagged each one as potential evidence. As he was reaching the far side of the pond, though, he hit the jackpot. Under one of the bushes he found a towel with what looked like blood stains. And a few feet away was a tissue; which could yield DNA evidence. He made sure to bag and tag each one with the utmost care.

As the day wore on the sky went from a vivid, clear blue to a dull gray as the clouds of a threatening storm began to move in. Within a matter of hours their crime scene would be washed away. It was important, vital, that they gather all the evidence while they could but Horatio was adamant that they not rush the process. In rushing things were missed, overlooked. After about four hours at the scene, Speed tired from looking down at the ground and walking in circles, headed back toward the Hummers with his evidence in tow. He stuck the bags into the trunk of one of the vehicles to secure it. Then Horatio gathered him and Delko and Ryan for a quick catch-up on Hagen was doing. He was out of surgery and in the ICU still unconscious. The doctors were hopeful that he would regain consciousness within the next couple of hours. That was good news. Even better when he told them that Jesup had awakened and spoken with Calleigh. It finally looked like everything was going to be okay, that it would all work out in the end.

So why did he feel like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop?

When they had done all they could with the crime scene, Delko hopped into one of the Hummers with Ryan while Speed took another one. Horatio took the third one and headed for the hospital. He wanted to have a word with Jesup and check up on how Calleigh was doing now that they had Hagen back in their custody. By the time Speed got back to the lab the storm had hit. The rain came down steadily at first, another one of Miami's classic pop-up showers. But it quickly turned into an all out storm, complete with thunder and lightning and torrential rain. The three of them got soaked in their mad dash for the front door. At least the evidence faired better safely concealed in bags. They were set to divvy up the workload when Horatio returned, asking to have a word with Delko. Puzzled, he hand off his evidence to Speed who was the only one with a free hand to carry it.

Before he could walk away Speed said, "When you're done, come find me. There's something I want to talk to you about."

Delko smiled. "All of a sudden I'm popular. Delko on demand."

Ryan just shook his head. "You might want to get that on demand ass in gear before Horatio gets mad."

--

The storm raged on outside. He put on his headphones to listen to the thrum of his music instead of the constant boom of thunder. It had been quite some time since Miami got hit with a band of storms. He knew they needed the rain but he hated having to listen to the sounds of the storm. Not to mention that now their crime scene was completely erased. He hoped that they'd gathered all the pertinent evidence before the rain began. He had taken samples from the towel and tissue and handed them over to Ryan who disappeared with them to the DNA lab so that Valera could run them. On his return he told Speed that if he found any fingerprints to give him a call, he'd run them. In the meantime he was going to head into one of the other rooms and study the photos from the scene. Cooper was busy in the AV lab going over a video from a convenience store located in the same area. They were hoping the camera might have caught something, like who left Hagen beside the pond. He'd lost track of Delko for the most part but figured he could catch his friend when shift ended for the night. Or maybe he would run into him at the hospital when he paid a visit to his fallen colleagues. He knew how big a bummer it was to be stuck in one of those hospital beds.

He began to sway slightly to the music, lost in his own world, oblivious to everything going on around him…

--

Delko was walking back from Horatio's office when he heard the first sound of shattering glass. He figured that one of the rookie lab techs had dropped a vial or accidentally broken one of the many glass walls in the lab. But then he heard the sound of someone shrieking, followed by more glass breaking. He froze, trying to get an understanding of the sounds he heard. He heard the door to Horatio's office open as his boss came to investigate.

"What the hell is going on?"

Delko only shook his head.

A loud clack of thunder nearly covered up the sound of more screams and more shattering glass. And then they heard an all too familiar sound. Gunfire. That was all it took to spur Horatio into action. "Gather the others," he yelled to Delko as he took off in the direction of the sound. "They're making a direct attack on the lab."

All that ran through Delko's mind was 'shit'. Then he was off looking for Valera and Cooper to send them into the morgue to keep Alexx safe. They could barricade the door, protect themselves there. By the time he reached the next hallway the lab had gotten as loud and noisy as the storm raging outside. There was gunfire, more shattering glass and so much screaming. He counted his lucky stars that Calleigh was safely at the hospital. That gave him one less person to be worried about. He tracked down Valera and Cooper, who by some stroke of luck happened to be huddled together. He instructed them to head for the morgue, take anyone with them that they could get. Unlike him, Ryan, Speed, and Horatio the others would be unarmed. They were simple lab technicians, never going beyond the building when they signed in until they signed out at the end of shift. As he went along he kept sending lab techs toward the morgue. And he nearly ran into Ryan.

"What the hell is going on?" Ryan asked. He'd been in the locker room when all hell broke loose.

"They're shooting up the lab," was all that Delko needed to say to get the message across.

Fear quickly clouded Ryan's eyes. "Speed."

"What about him?"

"He was listening to his music when I last saw him. What if…"

But Delko didn't get a chance to hear the rest of what Ryan said because he was racing down the hallway, his only intent in finding Speed.

--

Speed attributed the extra sound to the storm at first. But he realized something more was wrong when he witnessed technicians in white lab coats racing by his room. It baffled him. As he was removing his headphones Delko came bursting through the door, scaring him. "Oh thank god, you're okay," he said, rushing into the room. "We need to get the hell out of here. The militia group opened fire on us."

Speed's eyes got wide. "That means they went through the precinct downstairs."

"I know," said Delko, stopping a matter of feet away from Speed. "Come on, we need to get moving."

"Delko…" Like he was in a horror movie he watched in slow motion as a man in a black ski mask came upon the door. He raised the gun in his hand, pointed in their direction. "Delko!" Speed moved but it was in vain, the gun went off as Delko started to turn. He collided with his friend. The gun went off again. And then they were falling, the smell of gun powder filling the room, a warmth spreading over them.


	50. Drowning

**Chapter Fifty: Drowning**

It didn't take long for word to get out that the Miami-Dade crime lab was under fire. Cops from other precincts started arriving in droves, riot gear on and semi-automatic weapons ready for the firing. After that it was only a matter of time before the members of the militia ended up either dead or in police custody. A few tried like hell to escape only to have canine units take them down. The cops spared no mercy in their take down of the militia. For more than a month every cop in the state had been on edge, afraid to even stop a car for a simple moving violation. Now they had the potential to bring everything to an end. Both of the missing officers had been returned; none more had gone missing. The only lives on the line were those stuck within the confines of the building. Unexpected help came in the way of Federal agents. They'd been poking around the city since things started to escalate, most likely awaiting orders to take over the case. Those orders never came but they remained for support and now that things were finally coming to a head they offered their help.

A span of twenty minutes.

That's all the time it took from the first scream until the sound of the last gun going off. And then an eerie silence settled over the place. Outside there were officers yelling, sirens whining as ambulances and other rescue personal arrived at the scene. Horatio stumbled through the mayhem, a right arm pressed firmly against his chest. Those that weren't hurt were helping those that were. As he stumbled through the debris he kept an eye open for the members of his team. He noticed that a lot of the injured or dead were not members of the police or the workers in the lab. He counted that as a good sign. A lot of broken glass littered the floor and other available surfaces. He noted that a few of the machines would need to be replace, riddled with bullet holes. He made his way down one of the hallways and came across Ryan sitting on the floor, his back against one of the only walls that managed to remain intact.

"Ryan, are you okay?" he asked as he noticed the trickle of blood on the investigator's forehead.

Ryan looked at him. "Fine, just a knock on the noggin." Then he noticed the way that Horatio was holding his arm, the way the blood was soaking into his shirt. "What the hell…" he scrambled to his feet. "Are you okay? You should go downstairs and find a paramedic."

"I'll be fine."

"Horatio…"

"Where are the others?" he interrupted. At least he knew that one of his friends was okay.

"My best guess would be that they made it to the morgue. That's where Delko was sending everyone," answered Ryan. "I never quite made it there myself…"

The two of them started for the morgue in silence. Ryan lagged a step behind so that he could keep a watchful eye on his boss. In all the months that he'd been working at the lab he could not recall any other time when Horatio had been physically hurt. There was a lot of emotional pain that he went through but this was the first time Ryan remembered seeing him hurt. And it worried him, what with the amount of blood that seemed to be coming from the wound in his boss's arm. The closer they got to the morgue the more intact that the lab was, the militia failing to make it into the very bowels of the lab. He took that as a good sign, everyone in the morgue would be okay, alive. The least casualties on their side, the better.

When Horatio opened the door to the lab he was instantly greeted by Alexx, Cooper, and Valera all brandishing scalpels. A group of lab techs sat huddled against the far wall. At the sight of their boss they relaxed a little. Alexx dropped her scalpel. "Horatio, is it over? Oh please…you're bleeding."

"It's just a cut."

She walked over to him, placed a hand on his arm. "Let me have a look."

"Where are Speed and Delko?"

Cooper frowned. "We thought they were with you."

Before anything else could be said Horatio was racing out of the morgue to search the lab for his missing friends. Had he looked back over his shoulder he would have seen that the others were following him. He started checking through every room when Ryan remembered that he'd run into Delko when the whole thing started. He had said something about Speed listening to his music. Without bothering to say anything to the others he bolted toward the Trace Lab. He prayed that when he got there everything would be okay. But those damned thoughts crept up on him anyway. What if Delko hadn't made it in time? What if this time Speed was actually dead? Or worse…they could both be dead, victims of the attack on the lab. He turned the next corner knowing that he was mere feet from the Trace Lab and came to a sudden halt.

He watched as two paramedics rushed a gurney toward the elevators. Speed was leaning against the door frame, tears streaking down his face. He was covered in blood.

"What…" was all Ryan managed to get out.

Speed took a step forward and stumbled. In the blink of an eye Horatio was there to catch him, holding him up, the cut on his arm forgotten. The two of them sank to the ground. Speed felt like he did that first day at the home of the triple homicide, his back against Horatio who had his arms wrapped protectively around him. Ryan looked at Cooper and gestured for him to take his shirt off. Cooper didn't even question why, he didn't have to. A second later Ryan kneeled on the floor by Speed, pressing the bunched up fabric to the wound in his friend's thigh.

"Speed." Horatio's voice was hoarse.

"They…shot him," Speed managed to choke out. "They…shot…in the head."


	51. In Pieces

_Part Two_

**Chapter Fifty-one: In Pieces**

He stood in the shadows of the palm trees, his eyes watching the building before him. After all these months he couldn't believe that he'd finally returned to this place. All the memories, still fresh in his mind, were only magnified by being within proximity of the damned building. And yet, this was the first place he came to. Why? He should have known that the troubling thoughts in his mind were only going to get worse when he returned. He could feel the dam breaking, the flood of feelings breaking through; self-pity, remorse, hatred, fear, anxiety. He hardly even recognized the tremor in his right hand he was so used to it being there. He found it hard to escape, just like he couldn't escape his past.

Slowly he sank down into the grass. Why had he finally come back here? What brought him running back to a place that left him scared in so many ways, inside and out? And what exactly did he hope to find in this place other than tainted memories that kept him awake at night?

He felt the cool grass beneath his hands, a breeze ruffling his hair. The air smelled like recently fallen rain, the only remnant of the classic pop-up shower that they got in Miami and the whole of Florida. The rain brought back memories, both good and bad. He tried to hang on to the good memories but they slipped through his grasp. It was getting harder and harder for him to see the good in life. He knew that it was there but his mind was clouded, his subconscious more eager to throw out the bad memories at random moments. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a wrinkled piece of newsprint. For some stupid reason he'd cut the damned thing out of the paper the day he decided to leave. He'd read it about once a week, wondering, thinking. By now he knew the words as easily as he knew his alphabet; he could recite the obituary word for word. But that didn't make him feel any better about things. The intense emotions building up in him drove him from the state before the funeral. And in turn he became a bad friend. He should have stayed long enough to offer comfort and a shoulder to cry on even though he was broken inside. But he took the coward's way out and left. Would Calleigh ever find it within to forgive him for his mistake, his lack of judgment? Looking down at the newsprint he glazed over the picture at the heading, not wanting those dead eyes to be looking into his. Maybe if they asked he would tell them that he barely knew Detective Jake, it wouldn't be a complete lie. The two of them hardly spoke at all. Hell, Speed could count the number of conversations they'd had together on one hand. But that didn't make it right. He should have stayed for the funeral.

He should have stayed, period.

He crumpled the obituary into a little ball.

The sound of someone behind him. And then there was Horatio, sitting on the ground beside him. He felt the rate of his pulse increase, the anxiety stepping forth once again. What he would not give to live without all these horrible memories, to be happy once again. Had he ever really been happy?

"I don't know I should say, Tim," Horatio spoke, his voice soft and even. There was no hint of anger or even a pinch of disappointment. Speed almost convinced himself that all those days and weeks had never happened, that they were never parted and his mistakes were nothing more than a puff of smoke. "Maybe I should start off by saying that it's nice to see you. When you stopped responding to my emails and calls I figured you were gone for good. That…." Horatio shook his head, leaving the unspoken thought to hang in the air.

"I needed to get lost," Speed said. For some reason he voice came out barely more than a whisper.

"Where have you been all this time?"

Speed shrugged. "Here and there. Went to the west coast for a while, stood on the beach in California. I thought about going home but…"

"That's not exactly what I meant, Tim," Horatio said, regarding him with pale blue eyes.

It took Speed a minute to understand what his boss was saying. He swallowed back the lump forming in his throat. The first thought that popped into his head was the simple need to run. He never should have come back here. Let them all wonder what became of him, let them consider him nothing more than a ghost, a leaf on the wind. However, he came back. Something about the place kept calling to him. He ran from the east to the west and far north to the Canadian border, and yet, Miami was never far from his mind. And neither were his troubles.

Horatio began to play with his sunglasses with something mimicking nervous energy. "When your correspondence stopped I…You left in a dark state of mind, Tim. When the emails stopped I couldn't help thinking that maybe that darkness finally caught up to you. I kept thinking that I failed you in some way."

"No," Speed say vehemently. He sighed. "If anybody failed anyone it was me."

"You simply failed yourself, Tim," Horatio spoke. "I have never been disappointed in, nothing you could do…I just wish that you would have stayed."

Speed shook his head, fighting back the urge to let the tears out. "I...couldn't. And I don't know if I can stay. The memories…"

"What about the memories, Tim?"

He closed his eyes, letting out a shuttering sigh. A cloud passed over the sun at that moment, shrouding them in shadow. What exactly should he tell Horatio? Should he tell him how hard it was to sleep at night, that the nightmares refused to let him rest in peace? Should he mention that he never stayed in one place more than a day for fear that those nightmares would catch up with him? What about the confusion, the self-hatred, and the depression? Would Horatio be worried to hear about the trip to the hospital that he took while in Colorado? Should he tell him about…? No. No way would he ever tell anyone about that, not a soul.

"Tim?"

He shook his head. "I shouldn't have come back here, H."

"Why not? Are the memories so bad that you don't want to see your family?" inquired Horatio. "They miss you, Speed." Horatio was looking toward the crime lab, not at Speed. "Not a day goes by that they don't ask about you. Despite their pain, their troubles, they think about you. You belong here. The memories, they may not be the happiest but unless you give us a chance to replace the nightmares with happier times, you'll never be whole. I don't like seeing you in pieces, Tim." He paused for a few minutes. "I don't like sitting at my desk wondering if you've gone beyond my reach."

Speed suddenly stood. "I have to go."

Horatio was perplexed by the sudden change of mood in his friend. But willing to let it slide for the time being. He was happy to see that Speed was still alive, and if he stuck around…well, he was going to fight tooth and nail to help put Speed back together. He missed seeing the man he knew before the shooting. He wanted that Timothy Speedle back. "Please, think about staying. At least for a few days. Even if you won't see them. Stay for me, so that we can talk."

"Sure," Speed said, though the tone of his voice was uncertain. As he walked away he tugged at the cuffs of his sleeves, happy that cooler days were upon them.


	52. Here We Go

**Chapter Fifty-two: Here We Go**

"Here we are," Horatio said placing the plate on the table in front of Speed. "A hot, home cooked meal to make things feel a little more normal." He settled at the table across from Speed with a plate of his own.

How had he gotten here, Speed wondered. How had he let Horatio convince him of this? He should have been on the road to some far away destination where nobody knew his name, where his past would remain where it belonged instead of haunting his every moment. Who was he kidding; the demons just followed him from town to town, city to city. He could run himself right into the grave and they'd be right there behind him, never relenting in their dogged determination to bring him down. Picking up the fork he absently moved the food around the plate. Though his stomach growled he felt no urge to spear the food and bring it to his mouth. A few feet away Mite contentedly munched away at a bowl of kibble poured from the bag that had been in the car with Speed. All of a sudden, out of the blue, he missed his motorcycle. The rental cars left him feeling caged in but a motorcycle left him with no way to bring Mite along.

"Speed?"

Horatio's voice broke through the fog in his mind. He stared at his boss, at the scar along his boss's arm. That scar nothing more than a reminder of that day months ago. It was jagged, cutting a swath from the bend of Horatio's arm along the side and stopping on the top at the base of his wrist. An ugly reminder of the horrors that befell them, that haunted Speed's sleeping and waking moments. Still fresh in his mind…

"Tim, are you okay?"

"Fine," he managed to choke out. "Just a little fatigued from driving all day. I'm sorry; I guess I don't make great company right now."

Horatio smiled. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Speed. I really am happy that you came home. It hasn't been the same without you around."

"You must have found a replacement at the lab," he said, fishing for information without coming right out and asking. He'd left so quickly it wouldn't surprise him to learn that his job was handed over to someone else. Maybe they'd even given the position to Cooper, who showed so much promise. Cooper got along great with the other team members. Speed could see him fitting in perfectly.

To his surprise when he looked up from his plate he found Horatio shaking his head. "Your job is still there. I told the powers that be that you took a sabbatical. At first they didn't question it; dealing with all those officers in the aftermath of the….well, this last month it's been hard to convince them that you'd be coming back. And to be honest with you, Tim, I damn near gave up myself. Now that you're back-"

"I don't want to see the lab," he said forcefully. "I don't want to set foot inside there, or even talk to the people working there. I can't…"

"These things take time," Horatio said matter-of-factly. "I've already got it all figured out. I have some paperwork that needs to be dealt with, old case files that need sorting. You can do that here, no risk of setting foot in the lab. But you'll still maintain your job so that when you are ready…"

Speed closed his eyes. "I'll never be ready," he said. The sound of screaming and shattering glass crowded his thoughts. He saw Delko, heard the gunfire, smelled the cordite in the air. Like a movie that never ended the images played on, a broken record in his mind. He pushed his plate away. "Excuse me. I think…I think I'll shower and hit the hay. I'm sorry, Horatio. I…"

Putting up a hand, shaking his head, Horatio said, "Stop apologizing. Go, you've most likely had a long drive. Get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

A few minutes later Speed stood under the burning hot water hoping the water would wash away the memories while knowing it was a futile attempt. Even after his skin turned red he kept the water on hot, loving the way that he made it him feel, the way that it kept him from being numb. When it finally got to the point that he couldn't take it anymore he shut off the shower, pulling back the curtain and stepped out into the steamy bathroom. The door was open the slightest bit to the bedroom beyond, the same room that he'd slept in all those nights ago. Why did he keep finding himself here? Was it out of convenience? The simple fact that his boss cared about him? Or was it because he felt safe within the walls of this house, the world outside no longer a problem? He leaned on the counter top, closing his eyes. Safe. What did it mean to be safe? Would he ever know what it truly meant to be safe?

He pushed aside the thoughts while he dried off, pulling on a pair of boxers and a pair of track pants. He reached for his shirt and stopped, his reflection in the glass stopping him. His eyes instantly focused on the ugly red scar slightly left of center on his chest. The damned scar…every time he saw it he felt the bullet ripping through his flesh all over again. And now it had a much smaller partner in his right thigh; his physical reminder of the attack on the lab. Sometimes it was hard for him to walk, the pain almost unbearable. The damned bullet nicked the thigh bone, tore a chunk away, shredded its way through the muscle. By all rights he should have gone through weeks, even months of physical therapy. Instead, the minute he walk well enough, he left town without looking back. On bad days he walked with a slight limp. Just another reminder of a past that wouldn't let him go.

And now there was a new scar, one still fresh enough in the healing process to be pink against the paleness of his skin. It stood out like a neon sign in the mirror reflection. A moment of weakness. A night so dark. A road empty and cold.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Horatio was in the middle of cleaning up from dinner, his thoughts more on Speed than the task at hand, when he heard the sound of shattering glass. At first he thought it was the sound he heard on the nights when the nightmares plagued him. But then he heard a hollow thump and realized that the sounds were coming from his guest bedroom. Shutting off the water, grabbing a towel as he walked by, he headed for the back room.

"Speed?" he called. "Are you okay buddy?" He waited outside the closed bedroom door with baited breath, praying to get an answer, any answer. But silence greeted him. A feeling of unease forming in the pit of his stomach he tried the door, thankful to find it unlocked. Speed's suitcase was open on the bed, the bathroom door open slightly, the light glowing. Horatio heard the faint sounds of someone crying. He crossed the room, rapped on the bathroom door with his knuckles. "Tim, are you okay?"

When Speed didn't answer he pushed open the door. The first thing he noticed was the smell of blood. The second thing was the broken mirror, shards of glass littering the sink and counter, some had fallen to the floor. And sitting amongst them was Speed, knees drawn toward his chest, one hand to the side of his head, the other clutching tightly at a jagged piece of glass. Blood seeped slowly from between Speed's fingers, down his palm and wrist, dripping on the floor. Horatio knelt beside him, placing a gentle hand on Tim's wrist.

"Let go of the glass, Speed," he said softly but with an authoritative voice. "Let it go." Speed's fingers eased up enough for Horatio to pluck the glass from his grasp. He let it fall to the floor with the others. "Tim-"

Speed's other hand fell away from the side of his face. "I'm sorry. I just….it's so…the memories…"

Horatio glanced at the scar running along Speed's arm, still pink in the late stages of healing. It wasn't until that point that he realized how far Speed had fallen, just how close he'd come to losing his friend. Without saying another word he sat on the glass sprinkled floor at Speed's side and put an arm around his shoulder. Right now no amount of words would ease the pain. Nothing he could say or do at that moment would send the darkness away. And in all honestly, even if words could help, he didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. Speed had fallen so far and he wanted to help but didn't know where to start.


	53. You Got It

**Note: **Please check out my first poll! Vote for the next story!

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Chapter Fifty-three: You Got it**

He sat at his desk but instead of focusing on his work he found that his mind had wandered back home. Would Speed still be there when shift ended or would he return to find his friend gone once again? And if that happened, what would he do, go after him? There were demons haunting the man's every moment, that much was visible in his eyes, a stare that went vacant often. The scar on his arm telling a story of its own, of some horrible moment it became too much to bear and he wanted to end it all. Horatio wasn't exactly sure what to think of that; he knew that Speed was fragile, that sometimes he was on the edge. But to actually attempt taking his own life? He shook his head. Things were worse than he imagined. And he didn't want them to get any worse. Now that the whole militia issue was over he hoped things would quiet down. Some mundane murders, maybe some accidents or suspicious deaths. No more people gunning for officers or putting hits out on his friends. A month, maybe two, that's all he was asking, that's all he wanted. Enough time to help Speed find his place in the light again.

Someone tapped gently on his door before coming in. He forced a smile, pushing his troubling thoughts to the back of his mind. "Calleigh, what can I do for you?"

She sat in one of the chairs across from his desk. Today she looked bright, happy, her eyes dancing with a light all their own. It pleased him to no end to see that she was her normal cheerful self. He needed that, they all needed her bright smile to make the days less dreary. Little by little they made it through the aftermath, moved on. "I was just wondering if everything is okay. You've been walking around the lab in a fog today. Something on your mind?"

Should he tell her? Should he speak the words that he knew she'd been waiting to hear for so many days? Here sat one of the brightest of his team, a woman who dealt with her father's drinking, the death of a friend, and the near death of countless others. He knew that she spent a lot of her time keeping an eye on Delko, helping him along on his road to recovery. And when she wasn't at the lab doing her job she was at the hospital with Hagen giving him emotional support. The detective was healing in leaps and bounds. And just the other day Office Jesup had returned to active duty. As that thought crossed his mind he frowned. Three men who had their lives shattered and were moving on, taking the next step in putting the past behind them. What made them so different from Speed? Why was he unable to do the same?

"H?"

"He came home," he said, watching her to judge her reaction.

At first the words didn't seem to register but then he saw the slow recognition of what he said take affect. Surprisingly she didn't flash a mega-watt smile but she also refrained from falling to pieces. Perhaps she was stronger than all of them. "Speed is home?"

He nodded in confirmation. "Yesterday. Unless he's decided to pack up and leave again he should still be at my house."

"Do you think….?"

"Not yet," he answered with a shake of his head. "I don't think he's quite ready for company. He doesn't even think he wants to return to the lab. Right now he needs some space, time to think everything through."

"And what did he do with all that time on the road?" Calleigh asked, anger edging into her voice.

"Calleigh, please," sighed Horatio.

She also sighed, letting her shoulders slump, the light in her eyes dimming a little. "I'm sorry. It's just…do you have any idea how often Delko talks about him?" Her smile was faint and lasted no more than a second. "After the accident, I had to keep reminding him that Speed was alive. For some reason he kept thinking that Tim died months ago. Then the memories came back and he…it was like he was lost. Can you imagine what it is like to come back to yourself and find that the person who holds the key to your heart is gone? And you don't understand why?"

"This has been hard on everybody, Cal, not just Delko," he reminded her kindly. "There is very little doubt in my mind that Speed will return to the lab. Something brought him back here yesterday. This is his home, despite all the troubling things, this is where he belongs, and on some level I believe he realizes that. But I'm not going to push. He needs to realize it on his own."

Calleigh stood. "All I'm saying is that I hope he realizes soon."

"So do I." He watched as she headed for the door. "Oh, and Calleigh? Please don't mention this to anyone. I don't want them to know. Not yet."

"Of course, Horatio," she smiled, the bright light having returned to her eyes. "Mum's the word. If you want to keep it a secret, you've got it."

-------------------------------------------------

After a slow day at the lab Horatio looked forward to be going home, to see whether or not he still had a houseguest. Though while Speed was gone Horatio paid his rent to keep his apartment, he wasn't about to just shove Speed out the door and make him return home. He actually liked having company, even finding that he missed Mite. Knowing that Speed kept the dog showed promise, it meant that he wasn't ready to ditch everything that reminded him of his past. As he pulled into the driveway he noticed that the lights were on inside, a good sign. Killing the engine, he slipped out in the cool Miami night. Fall had taken a firm hold on the state, and the news stations were saying that it was going to be one of the coldest winters on record. He didn't mind, the weather never stopped people from killing one another, life would go on as before. He found the front door locked so he slipped his key into the lock and turned it. Mite greeted him at the door, tail wagging, tongue ready for giving kisses. He gave the dog a good scratch behind the ears, happy to see that he was still at the house; yet another good sign. Horatio found Speed in the kitchen, his good mood going down a few notches.

"Speed?"

Speed stood with one hand on the counter to brace himself, the other pressed against his chest, a grimace of pain on his face. "Just a gas bubble," he remarked. "I'll feel better once it's passed. No worries."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I had a complete check-up not that long ago," answered Speed. "Aside from the usual warnings and risks I have a clean bill of health."

"I would assume that was about the time you…" Horatio didn't finish the sentence on purpose, nodding at Speed's arm.

In reaction Speed tugged at the cuff of his long sleeve shirt, then crossed his arms, going on the defensive. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You will have to, eventually. You do realize that that will hurt your chances at keeping your job."

"Life's a bitch," Speed commented with an attitude that pretty much said he didn't care.


	54. I Want You Back

**Chapter Fifty-four: I Want you Back**

Another day spent reading books and avoiding every possible news outlet. He didn't want to hear about the war in Middle East or that the leader of this country was guilty of having an extra-marital offer or that thirteen children had died in a freak bus accident. He wanted to be floating away blissfully to a world where there was no darkness, no shadows that lurked around every corner even on the brightest of days. Deep down inside, he wanted to be free. The chance to live his life like he once had, joking around with his friend to keep the mood light at work, going out afterward to some club to dance and drink. To have his life back, that's what he wanted most of all. But something kept him from achieving that goal, held him back. Fear. That was the only thing he could think of, the fear of getting hurt again. Did he need anymore painful scars? Anymore nightmares to keep him awake through nights that seemed like they were never going to end? No, he didn't want either. So he spent his time reading. Horatio had a rather large collection of forensic related material in his house, much like Speed had at his apartment, and there were always new techniques to be learned. Hours passed with him pouring over volume after volume on the science of fingerprinting and the best way to tell the age of bones.

When it got too dark for reading without turning on a light he put away the book in his lap, heading for the kitchen. Horatio would be home soon, his shift over at the lab. The least that he could do was make Horatio dinner as a thank you for his hospitality. Of course, he wasn't nearly as good a cook as his boss but he knew his way around a kitchen well enough to whip up something good. And by the time Horatio walked through the front door he was setting the table, getting everything ready. As he placed the last dish on the polished but worn wood he was hit with the sudden realization that his life had become so little. Was he going to spend the rest of his days sitting across a table from someone making mundane conversation just so he could avoid the real world? He was virtually a housewife, an idea that bothered him.

"I see you've had a productive day," Horatio said, nodding in the general direction of the coffee table visible in the living room. There was a stack of leather bound books beside some open forensic magazines. "Good choice of reading, seems that you're still interested in the lab."

Speed shook his head. "Science is my life, can't escape that."

"So are you thinking of returning to work then?" Horatio asked. He hung his suit jacket on the back of his chair, settling across from Speed to enjoy the hot meal.

Instead of answering him Speed just shrugged his shoulders, then started eating. At least Horatio was happy to see that his friend was eating with more gusto than the last few days, though his appetite still seemed to be lacking slightly. He considered the sprawl of forensic reading material as a good sign that the old Speed was trying to come out of the darkness that held him for so long. Maybe it was time to start pushing, no more walking on eggshells and choosing his words carefully. He knew that Speed belonged in the lab as much as Speed knew it, but would not admit. As he placed a forkful of food in his mouth he tried to think of the best way to approach the subject, to make Speed see that he needed to get back to work if he wanted his life to return to normal. But Speed beat him to it.

"How is everybody?" he asked, not able to bring himself to look at his boss. Part of him was afraid to hear how his friends were after all this time. Surely there had been a lot of change since that horrible day. A day he never wanted to think about but that kept creeping into the forefront of his thoughts.

"I told Calleigh you were back," Horatio told him honestly. That got a responsible, one that he was expecting, as Speed looked at him, fear glimmering in his eyes. "She wants to see you but understands that you might need some time. She was very happy to hear that you are okay."

After a moment Speed managed to swallow down the lump in his throat. "And…how is she…dealing?"

"As good as one can," Horatio told him. "Jake's funeral was hard on her but she quickly threw her sorrow into helping Hagen recover from his injuries. The detective is making a good recovery and I was told by Frank earlier today that the department cleared Hagen for desk duty; the first step on his road back. Ryan managed rather well with the use of only one arm for two weeks and he's doing great, though I think he misses having you around to help him along. This science stuff is still new to him."

"He'll get the hang of it."

"Officer Jesup returned to active duty the other day," continued Horatio. Part of him hoped that talking about all of their friends would spark something, maybe give Speed that final push in the right direction that would bring him back to the lab. He had to hope for something. "He asked about you, wanted to know how you were fairing."

Judging by the look on Speed's face Horatio could tell that he hadn't expected that. Good, perhaps this would work after all.

"Delko is doing great," he remarked offhandedly, making no effort to further elaborate with hopes that Speed would take the bait.

And he did. "He's….doing fine?"

Horatio nodded. "Touch and go, a tad rough at the beginning but he's coming back to himself. Calleigh's been helping him along, too. And Ryan and Cooper have been very supportive." He paused, trying to pick his next words carefully. "Speed, the only thing missing from the lab is you. You belong in the picture but you're not there." He put down his fork and stared steadily at Speed. "I want you to come back. No more haunting my house, though you are welcome to stay as long as you want. I want you back where you belong, doing your job."

"H-"

He put up his hand. "You won't have to be on field work, not unless you felt really ready for it. I just think you need to get back into the fold, get out of this funk. You need to move on, Speed. The past is always going to be there, and it can only haunt you as long as you let it. Come back to work, make better memories. Move on to happier days."

For a while Speed sat there quietly, his mind working like crazy as he started down a positive path only to get diverted back to the darkness and shadows. There was a burning desire inside of him to see his friends, even though at the same time he feared what they might have to say to him. Would they welcome him with open arms? Would the smiles be fake? Would there be apprehension? His job. Even now, after all this time, he could still see the lab so perfectly when he closed his eyes, he heard the sounds of the machines as they did their jobs. He tried to run from the past, left Miami behind in hopes of finding peace, finding nothing but more nightmares and darkness. Something drew him back here, brought him home. Yes, home.

He looked at Horatio, surprised to hear himself speaking the words. "H, I…want to return to work."


	55. Everything I Own

**Note: **Don't forget to vote in the poll!

**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-five: Everything I Own**

He looked at the building before him, the imposing brick and glass, and wondered for the umpteenth time that morning if he was really up for this. All morning the same question had been racing through his mind, going 'round and 'round in circles and never letting him have any peace. He ran from his past, from the problems and troubles that happened only because of his choice of profession. He ran to other states as a way of seeking solace for the pain that never seemed to leave him alone long enough to enjoy a moment of the day. His hands had shaken that morning as he buttoned up his shirt. There had been a dull pain in his chest that he'd grown all too familiar with after all these months. And now here he was, sitting beside Horatio in the Hummer wondering if he really had the courage to open the door and step out into the bright sunlight. Part of him longed to go back to the safety of his apartment, or even back to Horatio's house. Running was easier than following his boss through those doors and into the lab, the place he knew so well he could walk it blindfolded.

"Are you sure that you're ready for this?" Horatio asked, voicing his very thought, the bane of his worry. "I don't want to push you. Don't force yourself to do this, Speed, if you aren't wholly committed. It'll only cause more problems in the long run."

More problems, just what he didn't need or want. He swallowed down the lump forming in his throat, slowly nodding his head and wondering if maybe he'd completely lost his mind. "I'm ready," he said, licking his lips. Where the hell had those words come from? Who was he trying to kid, he wasn't ready for this place. Yet he opened the door and put his foot on the smooth black top, then the other. The wind ruffled his hair. He closed the door and started after Horatio, lagging a step behind, always ready to bolt if it got to be too much.

Could he really walk into the building and go about life like nothing had changed? Could he just sit at the table in Trace, working the machines and getting results like he'd been there the last few weeks? And what about the rest of them? Maybe they didn't even really want to see him. Like a coward he'd fled when things got too hard, too dark, and he hadn't said a damned thing to any of them. Not even a goodbye, no notes left behind to be read and reread. The only one he talked to since leaving was walking in front of him like it was any other normal day. Would Ryan look at him warily? Would Calleigh be mad? Would Delko even remember who he was? The only person he expected to get a warm welcome from was Alexx, though he knew she'd be angry but that's because she cared so deeply about all of them.

They walked through the door. Speed stopped just on the other side of the threshold. The place looked the exact same, smelled the same, sounded the same. It was like going back in time to another life instead of just returning to a place where he once felt safe. The officers buzzing about didn't even bother to give him a second glance, the criminalists acting the same way. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he was back at Horatio's lying in the bed in the guest bedroom, tossing and turning as this nightmare played out. He half expected a monster to jump out from around the corner or for someone to start shooting while others ran around screaming. But nothing like that happened. And slowly he relaxed, letting out the breath he'd been holding without even realizing it.

"How are you doing so far?" Horatio asked.

"Good," Speed quickly lied to cover up his remaining fear. "It's just…"

Horatio offered a kind smile. "Give it time. It all takes time."

------------------------------------------------------------

Delko whistled as he walked down the hallway. He'd spent the better part of the morning busily processing a crime scene with Ryan. Some poor soul had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, thus leaving them with two deaths instead of one. Why couldn't drug dealers be a little more careful when they started shooting? Of course, if the criminals started being careful he would be out of job that he was blessed to still have in the first place. After getting shot in the head he'd been worried that he'd never once again be able to do anything of use. Much to his surprise his recovery was quick and his mind hadn't been affected too much. Sure, he was still plagued with headaches and sometimes he would forget things but every day he also remembered a little more, the pieces of who he was falling back into the proper places. It had been a week since his last mistake on the job and even then, it had only been a really minor one; labeling the evidence bag wrong. He hadn't misplaced anything, hadn't compromised any evidence. He really owed a lot to Calleigh and Ryan and Horatio for being there for him, always ready to point out gently that he was doing something wrong and let him figure out the right way to do things. Soon, aside from the visible scar, nobody would even know that anything traumatic and potentially life-altering had happened.

As he walked down the hallway he swung the brown paper bag at his side. He was taking it to Trace for Ryan to process later, when he got back from the gun locker with evidence for Calleigh. Then he had a bit of work of his own to do, going over all the photos taken at the crime scene to see if anything jumped out at him, anything out of the ordinary or at least worth bringing to the attention of the others. He expected the Trace Lab to be empty when he opened the door so when he saw Speed sitting there he stopped dead in his tracks. There sat his best friend, pale blue lab coat on, headphones around his neck, eyes reading a piece of paper, almost like he'd never been gone. In the beginning Delko had a hard time remembering certain events that had taken place, like the death of his sister, but the one thing that remained strong and true were his memories of Speed. He recalled their friendship, the time they spent together, the jokes they made at work, the way he'd confessed to Speed his true feelings, and how their friendship had gotten rocky toward the end. He half convinced himself he was ready to move on, to turn his affection toward someone else.

But now he knew that would have been a lie. Staring at Speed, who was oblivious to his presence, he felt all the same feelings stirring inside. Even after all this time he still loved Speed, that desire to be with him still burning.

"Speed…" he spoke his name.

Speed turned to look at him, a momentary flash of fear in his eyes. "Delko."

He wanted to tell Speed that he still loved him, that he still owned every fiber of his heart and that it was great to see him, to have him back at the lab. But the words wouldn't come. He awkwardly put the bag on the table. "Some evidence that needs processing. When you're done, let Frank know, please? He'll be waiting for it." And like a coward, without saying another word, he left the room.


	56. Sailing

**Chapter Fifty-six: Sailing**

"Family vacation gone horribly wrong," remarked Ryan as he worked the crime scene with a small flashlight, looking for the tiniest piece of evidence. He still had a lot to learn but had managed to come so far in such a short time. And all the doubts from his first month on the job, all those questions about whether or not he made the right career choice, no longer haunted him during his free time. He liked to work the scenes, to put together the pieces of the puzzle. A lot of the officers that he worked with almost a year ago used to give him crap for being obsessive compulsive and having to make things neat and orderly. In this line of work, that actually proved to be an asset. Where would he be now if not for that chance meeting with Horatio? Would he still be working as an officer, handing out parking tickets and nabbing shoplifters? Or would he have quit and moved onto something else entirely? This is where he belonged, he felt that things worked out the way they did for a reason. The science gave him boundaries. It gave him answers.

The only downside to working this job, though, was all the blood and death, the horrible things that people were willing to do to one another. He would never get over the nasty way that some people liked to shed blood. Bodies torn apart, heads bashed in, bombs exploding, fires turning corpses into charred remains. Every job had a downfall. He just had to learn to deal with it, and he had. Now instead of wondering if he'd made the right career change he spent time thinking about how messed-up life had become. He shouldn't be okay with standing so close to death, comfortable with the remains of a once living and breathing person. But since the others didn't seem to let it bother them, perhaps he should try harder to be more like them.

"This is the one part of living in Florida and working this job that sucks," Calliegh said, coming around the side with an evidence bag, a small dark gray object inside. A bullet. "Happy families come here to enjoy the sun and surf, all the nice things that Florida has to offer. And then, in a few cases, things go terribly wrong and we're picking up the shattered memories."

"Why do we do it?" Ryan asked, plucking at a fiber with a pair of tweezers.

He didn't notice Calleigh shrug. "Somebody has to."

Delko picked that moment to arrive at the scene. Though he was almost fifteen minutes late Ryan wasn't going to say anything. Not because he was walking on eggshells around his teammate but simply because so much shit had happened in the last few months, what with the shooting and Speed leaving. As far as he was concerned, Delko was allowed to have the occasional slip up. This was the man that taught him a lot, that gave him shit when he first started on the job and then warmed up to him, almost considering him a friend. This was also the man that had lost someone dear to him and been shot in the head. Until now Ryan managed to get through the job without any major injuries. The thought of getting shot never strayed far from his thoughts. Guns were a daily part of their job. Speed had been shot, not once but twice. Delko took a bullet to the head. Hagen tried to kill himself in basically the same manner.

Guns caused pain and heartache for his friends, the people he cared about.

They were also the main reason why he had a paycheck.

It made for a delicate balancing act.

Calleigh slipped the evidence bag into her kit. She noticed the look on Delko's face as he settled his own kit on the ground near the boat. "All right, what's on your mind?"

"Who the hell does things like this?" he asked with a shake of his head.

The call came in a short while ago that someone had stumbled across a sailing vessel that washed ashore. Upon further investigation four bodies were found onboard amid a mess of blood; two parents and their teenaged children. There were bullet holes riddling the side of the vessel, but most of the bullets were missing, probably washed away in the ocean. Calleigh and Ryan had already decided the murder occurred before the thunderstorm at two o clock. Mainly because the dead body on the deck was washed clean and there were faint pink traces were the blood slowly washed away with the rain. The ocean would have been rough, the waves sucking the bullets from the boat. At least she got lucky enough to find one of them. Who knew what the little projectile might tell her.

"It's a sad day when a man can't enjoy a good sailing trip with his family," Ryan said. He had moved on, branching out toward the back of the boat, checking the surrounding mix of rocks and sand for anything vital evidence.

Calleigh had shoved aside the job. "Delko, what the hell is bothering you?" She took the expensive camera from his shaking hand before he dropped it. Even Ryan stopped what he was doing, finally noticing the tremor in the hands, the dark cloud over Delko's eyes. Something was definitely up.

"Have either one of you been to the lab?" he inquired. It almost seemed like a stupid question, but then again, this was Miami.

She shook her head. "No. I had a case with Frank that took up a few hours. Then there was the fire at that restaurant that started in the trashcan. After my lunch break, which I just managed to squeeze in, I got the call for this."

"Try tracking down a drug dealer that hasn't been seen for three years," grumbled Ryan. "That took up all my time and that new detective; he's a real pain in the ass. At least you got time for lunch, Cal. I probably won't see food until the end of shift."

"So what's at the lab, Delko?" Calleigh pushed.

He looked her in the eye, wondering how she would take the news. "The one and only Timothy Speedle, sitting in the Trace Lab like he never left."

He took back the camera and headed for the opposite side of the boat. Even as he'd spoken the words, Calleigh saw the pain in his eyes, heard the slight quiver in his voice. A sign of happiness or something more troubling? She looked back over her shoulder to see that Ryan, as usual, had not missed a single thing. Though she herself was happy to hear that Speed was back she couldn't help but feel a sense of fear. Had he managed to escape his demons? Or would he still be trying to find his way through the darkness? And how would having him back affect Delko? How would _she_ feel when she got back to the lab and some him for herself?


	57. Kiss Me At Midnight

**Chapter Fifty-seven: Kiss Me At Midnight**

"Something wrong, Tim?" Horatio asked as he wandered into the dimly lit living room. He'd gone to bed nearly three hours ago, exhausted from a day busier than most others. Every time he turned around there was another call, another scene in need of one of his special investigators. And though he was streched thin he refused to let Speed out of the lab. With all the work to be done he merely passed his team in the halls, two ships passing in the sea. But even though they did not speak he could sense the tension in the air, the anger and unspoken words. He expected it, waited with baited breath for Delko or Calleigh to confront him. Not one word uttered. He returned home at the end of shift, Speed right behind him. They ate dinner, talked about work. Went to their separate rooms to sleep. And sleep welcomed him with open arms. Yet three hours later he stood, in the dim light of a lamp casting shadows in the living room.

Speed looked up at him from where he sat on the sofa. "I can't sleep, that's all. Sorry if I woke you."

"No need to apologize," Horatio responded, taking a seat beside him. There were so many questions in his mind, so much that he wanted to know about the time his friend spent away; specifically the origin of the cuts. But now was not the time or place for such conversations. "Thinking about the first day back on the job?"

"You could say that."

"Good or bad?"

Speed seemed to be mulling over the question, trying to find the right answer. Horatio didn't like seeing the confusion, the mix of emotions passing over his friend's face. He knew that returning to the lab would be hard on him, on all of them, but he never really thought of the trouble he'd be putting Speed through. Was it wrong of him to assume that the young investigator was ready to return to the life he left behind? When to push and when to leave well enough alone became a very risky balancing act. One wrong move could send him over the edge, perhaps to a place where he'd already visited, a place Horatio didn't want him going again. For reasons he could not even begin to understand he always seemed on the verge of losing Speed, a realization that he hated.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Speed's features. "Alexx was sure happy to see me. And Velara welcomed me with open arms…"

"But?"

He shook his head. "Something…I get the feeling that not everybody wants me back."

"Don't go there, Tim," Horatio said, understanding. "They're confused. Things got horrible and you left without saying goodbye. It scared them, Tim. You have to give them time to readjust to having you back. To tell you the truth, nobody expected you to come back. Well, nobody but me. They need time. Everyone needs time."

With a sigh, Speed got up and started pacing around the living room. He wanted to be back at work, he wanted to have back the life he'd left. But he found it harder than he expected to fit the pieces back where they belonged, almost like they were sodden pieces of a puzzle that no longer matched with their cohorts. That nagging, lingering thought remained in the back of his mind, the simple thought of whether or not he could even do this anymore. This was supposed to be his home, the place where he felt loved and welcomed. He fully understood what Horatio was saying about his friends needing time but…for some reason he couldn't shake the feeling that something else was going on. That on some deeper level they almost wished he'd died or something.

He stopped pacing. "I think I'll go for a walk."

"It's the middle of the night," Horatio pointed out.

"I'll take Mite with me," countered Speed, having already made up his mind. Some fresh air might help to clear his mind. And even though Miami didn't exactly sleep like some of the towns he'd seen in the last few months, it would be easy to get lost in thought when surrounded by strangers. He headed for the guest bedroom to put on his shoes and socks and fetch Mite.

Horatio followed him. "Normally I wouldn't suggest this but please take your gun, Speed. You can never be too safe."

He nodded, going over to the nightstand to get his service weapon. With the gun clipped to his side, cellphone in his back pocket, and Mite ready to go, he headed out the door. Horatio stood by the front door for a few minutes longer, wondering if letting Speed out of the house in the middle of the night was such a good idea. In the long run he figured there was nothing he could do. Speed had to get better; he had to find the solid ground that went missing with the upheaval of months of depression and self-doubt. As he strolled back to his bedroom he knew that sleep would be fitful, praying that he didn't receive one of those late night calls that sent him rushing to the emergency room.

He couldn't handle that again.

* * *

An hour passed in which he strolled the sometimes crowded sidewalks. He didn't really have a destination in mind, walking at a leisurely pace while Mite sniffed every sign post, every fire hydrant. A half full moon hung low in the sky with a scattering of stars. When he'd passed through some of the countryside during his attempt to run from the past he recalled how amazing it was to see so many stars, little glowing beckons of hope. The light pollution of a big city like Miami managed to block out the vast majority of the stars, denying the people below a chance to see real beauty. Of all the things he missed, he never thought he'd miss the stars. They were always there. He just couldn't see them as well.

They walked blindly, going where they pleased until finding themselves in a small park near the beach. The place was vaguely familiar to him and it took him a minute or two to realize why. This was the very same locale in which they'd found the body of that murdered adult film star. He'd spent an afternoon searching for her dog. He stopped, staring out over the water. A short distance away a couple walked by hand in hand, her head on his shoulder. Sometimes Miami offered a romantic setting, other times it turned into a blood bath of rage and hatred. A love-hate relationship.

He sighed.

"Speed?"

He looked back over his shoulder surprised to find Delko walking in his direction. What the hell was his friend doing out here at this time of night? "Hey." He had no idea what to say. Things hadn't exactly been that great at work today. Something was clearly missing from their friendship, a vital piece having washed down the drain.

"What are you doing out here?" Delko asked, stopping by his side. He gave Mite a scratch behind the ears.

"Couldn't sleep," Speed offered. He wanted to keep it casual and nice, didn't want to make things worse. There were bridges in need of repair. "What about you?"

Delko shrugged. "Felt the need for fresh air. Since the accident I tend to spend more time alone, thinking."

"Yeah, I know what that is like."

Delko cleared his throat nervously. "Speed…"

"I'm sorry, Eric," interrupted Speed. "I'm sorry for just leaving without saying anything. I know that sorry can't fix things and there is nothing I can do to repair the damage done but…Listen to me, begging for forgiveness like I deserve it. Go ahead and be mad at me, Delko. You have every right in the world to hate my guts. Seems that I just keep making one mistake after the other, fucking things up royally. There have been moments when I wonder why I returned, why didn't I just keep running? You and Calleigh, Horatio, you all would have been fine without me, would have learned to cope…"

Delko grabbed him roughly by the shoulders, stopping his stream of self-anger. In the next instance he felt the familiar heat of Delko's lips against his; a kiss to shut him up. He wanted to pull away, should have pulled away, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. Maybe, deep down, this was the reason he returned to Miami.


	58. Bye Bye

**Chapter Fifty-eight: Bye-Bye**

"You can't hold me," she said with a sneer. "I know my rights. You don't have any evidence or you'd be charging me. And unless you charge me, you have no right to keep me here."

"That's true," Horatio responded. "You are free to go anytime that you like, but be forewarned, if you left even the smallest scrap of evidence behind my team will find it and you'll find yourself behind bars."

With a muttered As If and another sneer the woman stalked out of the interrogation room, Horatio watching her as she left. The case of robbery wasn't that big a case since nothing amounting to thousands of dollars was stolen and no one had lost their life. Still, the case came across his desk and the lab had a reputation to keep. Even the seemingly insignificant cases had a right to be solved. The more cases he marked 'closed' the happier he would be when retirement came around. Walking down the hall toward his office he thought about the path that life had taken him on. He always strived to be a good cop, to do the best that he could. When the rumors started after his brother's death that his brother was a bad cop, he notched up his work ethic. Let the officers think what they would about his brother, he knew the truth. They all might remember his brother as the cop that messed up but when he was gone he wanted to be remembered for all his hard work, for all the victims that he managed to help. All those people could sleep easier at night because of him. And yet, with everything going for him, there loomed a darkness around the corner, ever present, always waiting to pounce when the best moment presented itself.

He was about to enter his office when Delko came around the corner. He tried to read the look on the young man's face, failing to pick up even the slightest clue as to how Delko felt about having Speed back in town and working at the lab. "Do you have something on the robbery?"

"Nope," he said with a shake of his head for added emphasis. "Actually, Tripp just called. Ryan is busy going over the scene with Jesup to see if maybe we did miss something. Calleigh and Tim are at a new crime scene. Thought maybe I'd see if you wanted to tag along since I was headed that way myself."

"Speed's working the field?" Horatio asked in genuine surprise.

Delko nodded. "Guess Calleigh asked him if he was interested when the call came up, and he must have decided to go along."

"Then so shall I," said Horatio as he fell into step beside him.

He let Delko slip behind the wheel because he wasn't sure concentrating on the road would actually work for him at that moment. All he could think about was the idea of Speed out in the field. They had not talked last night or that morning about him venturing beyond the lab. And though Horatio was not mad that Speed felt comfortable enough to take the next step in his job he did wonder if it was a good idea or if it would turn out to be a step made too soon. The other thing taking up a lot of his thinking time was the way that Delko referred to Speed. He couldn't recall the last time that he'd heard Delko refer to Speed by his given name. It upset him but was still completely understandable. There were going to be a lot of uncomfortable days, a lot of bumps and potholes to overcome before the relationships in the lab returned to their formal glory, if ever. There were a million and one questions that he wanted to ask Delko but figured that it would be more appropriate to wait until a later time, perhaps after shift. He could ask Delko into his office and they could have a good heart to heart, see how his friend was coping with having Speed back in the lab, back in his life. As far as he knew, nothing about Delko's feelings had changed.

They eventually pulled up outside a house set back a little from the road. A large expanse of green with vivid blooming flowers welcomed them as they drove slowly down the brick driveway. They parked alongside another department vehicle and behind a patrol car. Speed was outside poking through the landscaping for any trace of the criminal. Calleigh was nowhere in sight, probably having gone into the house. They split ways near the front door, Delko venturing into the house to find Calleigh and see how things were going on her end. Horatio decided to help Speed go over the outside of the house. While they worked Speed filled him in on the crime; the murder of a husband and wife. He wasn't sure if anything was stolen or what might have been the motive aside from the family seemed to have a lot of money.

After roughly twenty minutes the officer on the scene came racing out of the house, said something about having to take another call. Horatio let the man go, watching him drive rather destructively through the yard in order to get around the two Hummers. He just shook his head, then returned to work. No sooner had the officer left than things began to fall apart. Horatio was working on the other side of the house, a ways away from Speed, the other two still busy covering the interior of the house. He was busy checking a rock bed for the likes of cigarette butts or other things the killer might have dropped when he felt the familiar presence of a gun pointed at his back. Ever so slowly he turned to look over his shoulder. An unidentified man stood there, gun in hand, pointed at Horatio.

"Give me your gun," the man ordered.

Horatio did as he was told, removing the revolver from his holster and placing it on the ground. The man grabbed the gun, slipping it into the waistband of his jeans.

"Get down on the ground, on your stomach," was his next order. "Don't make me have to shoot you."

Again, Horatio did as he was instructed, worried more about the safety of the others than for himself. Once on the ground the man pulled something from the back pocket of his jeans and began to bind Horatio's wrists. Fortunately for Horatio the man seemed to be in a rush and didn't do a thorough job, leaving the binding lose. Thinking he was free to go, the man left Horatio lying in the grass and went looking for whatever it was that he'd come for.

----------------------------------------------

Speed had just finished dusting a windowsill for prints when he looked up to see a man he didn't know pointing a gun in his direction. He froze, not sure what to do, a multitude of thoughts racing through his mind. Instinctively he put his hands up, not even bothering to reach for the gun on his hip, knowing that one wrong move could very well be the end of him. He'd been down this road before; it was one that he traveled rather regularly, though somewhat reluctantly.

But before the unknown assailant could make any demands or a move Horatio came out of nowhere. Speed watched as his boss jumped the gun-toting maniac from behind. Caught surprised the man pulled the trigger.

------------------------------------------------

Calleigh held up the dish on the floor. "They have a dog."

"All the evidence points that way," Delko agreed. "Leash by the door. Bone on the living room floor. The bowls here in the kitchen. The only thing missing is the dog."

"Think that's what the murderer stole?" inquired Calleigh as she set the bowl down and stood. "Seems kind of harsh to murder a family for a dog."

"Stranger things have happened," pointed out Delko.

Before Calleigh could respond they both heard the all too familiar sound of gunfire coming from the front yard. Without wasting another minute they went racing from the kitchen, drawing their weapons as they ran, all the while afraid of what might be going on.

-------------------------------------------------

He put a hand to his cheek and came away with blood. The bullet grazed him. Between Horatio forcing the gunman's arm up and his own attempt at ducking he'd missed taking what would probably have been a lethal shot to the head. From where he sat, leaning against the house, he watched as Horatio and the unknown man wrestled on the ground, the gun a few feet away and another one merely inches out of reach. He tried to process the thoughts as they went racing through his mind, tried to formulate a plan. He should be up on his feet, gun in hand in order to help Horatio but for some reason he couldn't rise to his feet.

Delko came racing out the front door, gun pointed toward the two guys rolling around on the ground. He shouted, his voice loud and clear. The assailant realized his mistake and bolted. Without a second thought Delko took off in foot pursuit. A mere step behind him Calleigh said something about following in one of the Hummer's, jumping behind the wheel of the nearest one. In a flash they were gone, almost like they had never been there.

"Are you okay, Speed?" Horatio asked, pushing himself to a sitting position.

Looking toward the fading lights of the Hummer he responded, nodding his head, "Just a scratch."

"Good."

Speed turned to look at his boss and finally got the boost he needed to get him on his feet. "You're bleeding." He made it across the small space between them, falling to his knees by Horatio. There was blood on his boss's shirt a little ways below the ribcage on his left side. "Did he shoot you?"

"No, turns out he had a knife," Horatio replied. He slowly and carefully removed his suit jacket and used it to apply extra pressure to the bleeding wound.

"We need to get you to the hospital," Speed said, his voice on the edge, a clear sign that he was close to falling apart. He stood, whirling around toward the driveway. "I need your keys."

Horatio looked at him. "Delko drove."

If possible Speed got even paler and a tremor showed up in his hand. "I…I don't have any keys. Calleigh wanted to drive so I let her…"


	59. It Makes me Ill

**Note: **Sorry for the delay! Holidays have kept me busy!

* * *

**Chapter Fifty-nine: It Makes me Ill**

He stood there with his hands in his hair, the look in his eyes one that Horatio had seen numerous times before. Speed was quickly losing his composure, a myriad of thoughts expressed on his face and none of them happy or even the slightest bit pleasant. The wound in his side hurt like a son of a bitch and would most likely require stitches. But he forgot all about the warmth of the blood, the burning sensation in his skin. To him the stab wound was merely that, a wound, and nothing more. However to Speed it was the doorway through which old haunting memories entered, the doubts and fears lurking in the darkness skipping into the shining glory of the light. He whole heartedly believed that if he didn't do something he was going to lose Speed all over again.

"Tim, calm down," he said in a soothing voice. "The situation is not nearly as bad as you might think."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" countered Speed, his voice conveying his surprise at Horatio's choice of words but failing to cover-up the worry seeping through. "You're bleeding pretty badly, H, and I have no way of getting you to the hospital."

"Yes, you do, Speed," suggested Horatio. Patience, he needed to use patience to get through the fog quickly thickening around Speed's mind and ability to think straight. "We may not have the keys and therefore cannot drive out of here but the radios are still very useful."

Speed smacked himself in the forehead, a gesture so out of place in the situation, all wrong for the emotions swirling around. Without saying another thing he ran to the nearest company vehicle. Throwing open the passenger side door he reached across the seat for the radio. He wasted little time in getting across the fact that there was an officer down, assistance needed. He didn't even bother giving the lady at dispatch a chance to ask him questions. He told her to hurry, as though the urgency in his voice was not enough to get it across the airwaves and through her headset. Closing the passenger door he headed back to Horatio. Oddly enough his boss seemed less bothered about the injury than he did. The lieutenant had resumed lying on the ground with the suit jacket pressed against his wound. For a moment Speed was struck with the sudden image of his boss, his friend, dead and no longer a part of this world. So vivid was the image in his mind that his heart skipped a beat, he grew unsteady on his legs.

And yet he managed to keep his composure, driving away the unwanted image and kneeling in the grass at Horatio's side. Out of reflex he took Horatio's free hand and applied two fingers to his wrist, checking the rate of his heartbeat. "Help is on the way."

"That's good."

Speed sat back on the ground, letting go of Horatio's hand as a cloud passed over the sun. A chill trickled down his spine. He felt the familiar twang of an anxiety attack as the situation finally began to bore its way deeply into his subconscious. He was no longer sitting in the grass of an upscale Miami house, the autumn air brushing across his skin, ruffling his hair. No, he was in a different place, a dark void that he longed to forget, a memory he simply wanted to erase with the push of a button. Instead of kneeling by Horatio and making sure that his boss was still alive he felt numb, cold. Empty. He heard the words that Horatio spoke to him all those months ago, felt the comforting of a familiar presence when he knew that Death lingered nearby. So strong was the sensation that he smelled the gunfire in the air, felt the intense pain in his chest.

"Speed!"

Jostled from the burning memory he found himself sitting once again in the front yard of the crime scene, a hand pressed to his chest. The not so phantom pain had returned.

"I though I'd lost you there for a moment," Horatio said with relief.

He had not idea what to say in response, choosing to sit quietly while he waited for his heartbeat to slow. The sound of tires on gravel drew his attention to the end of the driveway where a dark sedan was pulling in. On reflex he reached for his gun; which he did not have. There was one a few inches away but he could not be sure it was Horatio's or a piece of evidence left behind by the maniac that ruined the day. How was he going to defend them if the person behind the wheel was an associate of the man Calleigh and Delko were currently chasing down? He didn't have to worry for long as the door opened.

"Do you need help getting him up and moving?" Hagen called from where he stood.

"I'm not sure," Speed said, never happier to see the detective. Hagen walked over to offer assistance. This was the first time that Speed had seen the detective since a passing glimpse in the hospital. Aside from a few scars and a slight limp he looked as though nothing had happened. While they worked together to get Horatio to the sedan Hagen explained that he'd been on his way to the grocery store when he heard the call on his personal police scanner. Being as close as he was he called dispatch to let them know he was taking the call. Squad cars were already on the way to the scene to make sure everything remained intact for when Calleigh and Delko returned. The officers had already been warned to be on alert.

Once Horatio was loaded in the sedan Hagen backed out of the drive and drove like a mad man toward the hospital.

--------------------------

He sat outside in the fading light of the day, his shift nearly over. Everything seemed to be falling apart all over again. For reasons that continued to remain unknown to him he returned to Miami, the black hole which his nightmares crawled out of. He threw himself right back into the middle of everything he'd been running from. The terrible memories. The situation with Delko that he still couldn't figure out how to handle. The constant reminder all around him of just how fragile life could be. Not for the first time he wondered if staying away would have been better for him. Not even in town for two weeks and already bad luck crossed his path. If he stayed he could very well get his friends killed. They deserved better than that.

Better than him.

"Now that's the face of a man in deep contemplation," Calliegh said as she settled on the step beside him. For some reason she seemed unfazed by all that had happened earlier in the day. Between her and Delko they caught the stabber, brought him in for question and at present he was sitting behind bars. "What's on your mind, hon?"

"Nothing."

A dark cloud passed over her face. "No, don't you even start playing that game again, Tim. I will not go through this with you, not for a second time. Do you have any idea what it was like while you were gone, always wondering what the hell happened to you? I spent so many sleepless nights wishing that you would call, praying for even the slightest sign that you were okay. I cried a lot of tears for you, Speed. Having you walk out of my life, that hurt more than I can ever express in words. We're family and family sticks together. Family is there to offer support, to hold you up when you can't stand on your own. And you waltzed away; shut me out of your life like I never mattered to you. Well, I'll be damned if I'm going to let that happen a second time."

"Calleigh, please…"

"Tell me what is wrong, Speed," she pushed.

He stood. "You want to know what's wrong?" his voice on the verge of shouting, anger coating the words. "I'll tell you what's wrong. Me."

She followed him, standing, searching his eyes. "What happened to you, Tim?" She placed a hand tenderly on his cheek. "Where have you gone? Why won't you come back to us?"

"I'm right here."

With a sad shake of her head, her hand slipping away she said, "No, no you're not, sweetie."


	60. This I Promise You

**Chapter Sixty: This I Promise You**

He swabbed at the dry rust spot with a q-tip in hopes of finding blood. When he tested the cotton with the right liquid it turned that tell-tale shade of pink, declaring the spot for what it was; blood. He took a few more samples to be on the safe side and placed them in individual evidence bags. With that final act done, he was finished with the crime scene. Closing up his kit he had one last look around to make sure that he wasn't missing anything. Were any of the pictures hanging on the wall crooked? Were there indentations visible in the carpet that suggested a piece of furniture might have been moved? A planted palm sat in the corner near the stairs looking as though it hadn't seen a drop of water in months, the leaves more brown than a lush shade of green. Walking the perimeter of the room he passed by the small fish tank sitting near a bookshelf. A quick glance showed him that all the fish were dead, having gone the way of the houseplant. Frowning, he moved onto the next room, the kitchen. The place was all sparkly and clean like those shown on television in ads for cleaning products. Stopping at the sink, knowing that it wasn't in any way unusual for a killer to wash his hands at the crime scene, he gazed at the window. In the backyard there was a doghouse. A brown lump of fur lay a few feet away from the small house. Curious, he opened the backdoor and stepped into the yard. The dog didn't move. Having a look around he wondered why the officers hadn't removed the dog from the scene. Then he wondered where the officers were. He hadn't seen any. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen anyone.

Cautiously he walked through the patchy, dying grass toward the dog. The beast did not stir, did not look up to see what potential threat was approaching him, did not acknowledge the presence of him at all. That started a feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach. The little hairs on the back of his neck began to stand on end as he realized that something was wrong horribly wrong. Reaching the dog all of his fears were confirmed. Blood marred the once beautiful fawn coat of the dog. What sort of cruel monster killed a family pet kept in the backyard? The dog would have posed no threat whatsoever. Upset by the cruel death of the dog he crouched, putting a hand in the thick fur coat. He searched for a collar, wanting to know the name of the poor beast.

A black collar.

A set of tags.

Mite.

The dog's name was Mite.

He stood, shaking his head, backing away from the dog. No, there was no way in the world that the dead dog lying on the ground was his beloved Anatolian Shepherd. It was wrong, all sorts of wrong. What would Mite be doing in a place like this? He tried to yell, tried to make some sort of sound but found that fear paralyzed his vocal cords. A scream lodged in his throat. He whirled around with the intent of running back into the house only to find that he was no longer alone. A man resembling the one who had stabbed Horatio stood a couple of feet away, a gun pointed at him. He stopped dead in his tracks. The stranger said nothing, merely pulled the trigger. Agonizing pain filled his chest as the bullet tore through his skin. He fell, landing on his back. The familiar warmth of blood oozing from the wound in his chest. Breathing got harder and he started to feel cold. He longed for the comfort of a friendly face but instead he found himself looking up into the eyes of the man that had shot him.

The man pointed the gun for the second time.

Pulled the trigger.

Speed sat bolt upright in bed, the sheets tangled around his legs, a thin layer of sweat coating his body. His heart beat frantically in his chest, the now vastly unwelcome ache present. Beside him Mite whimpered, looking at his master with soft brown eyes. The dog lay his head in Speed's lap as an act of comfort, understanding that his master was upset and agitated. With a trembling hand he pet the dog, taking comfort in knowing that he wasn't alone. The images of the nightmare lingered, keeping his heart from slowing, giving the fear in his blood another unneeded boost. The first night back in his apartment and already he was wishing he were somewhere else.

-----

It was late Friday afternoon. By all rights he should have been hard at work in the lab instead of sitting on the sofa in his apartment. He'd gone through the motions of taking a shower and getting dressed with the full intent of going to work. Only, when he reached the door he realized that he couldn't leave. The combination of yesterday's events and the nightmare brought back all the anxieties that he'd been trying to run away from. He spent the day sitting on the couch with Mite at his side, thankful that the dog was still alive. Until Mite he'd never had a dog and quickly learned that his furry companion wanted nothing more than love. There was no judgment in those brown eyes, not a hint of disappointment. Often, when he was running from one state to the next, he found solace in having Mite in the seat next to him, head out the window, tongue hanging out. Sometimes it was hard to deal with people. But with Mite, there were no expectations; no way he could let the dog down.

The knock at the door startled him. For a fleeting moment he thought about not answering but realized that it wouldn't do any good. Any visitor looking for him would have noticed the motorcycle downstairs in the parking lot. Grudgingly, he shuffled to the door and pulled it open. Much to his surprise he found Delko and Calleigh standing in the hall.

Calleigh smiled, breezing through the door to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, thank heavens, you're still here."

"Where else would I be?"

"We thought you left again," replied Delko, walking into the apartment. He closed the door behind him. "Horatio wouldn't say anything about your not being at work so we started to get worried that you might have skipped town again."

"Nope, still here."

Blue eyes locked onto his, searching. "Why didn't you come into work?"

He licked his lips nervously. "I…" What the hell was he supposed to tell them? Standing before him were two people that had meant the world to him for a few years now. They were his friends. He left them without an explanation and returned to find them waiting with open arms; something he clearly did not deserve. How could they care about him so much when he kept making mistakes? When he constantly let them down? He would probably never have the answer to either one of those questions but he knew that he owed them something resembling the truth, if not the truth itself. "After yesterday…I don't know. It sparked unwelcome memories. I had a nightmare…"

Calleigh took his hand. "We all have nightmares, Speed. It sort of comes with the job."

Breaking contact he returned to the couch, not wanting to look at either one of them. "I got shot," he said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "I…it happened all over again, slightly different but…"

She sat beside him, taking hold of his hand again. "You should talk with someone, Speed."

"I have."

Delko chimed in. "I know someone you can see. She's real nice, an understanding woman. I've been seeing her since getting shot in the head. She's been a big help."

When Speed looked at Delko he was scowling. "Don't you think I've tried that angle? I talked with someone at the department. Sought outside counseling. Either they tell me that what I am experiencing is normal for my situation or they want to lock me up for observation. Quite frankly, I am tired of talking to doctors."

"Then talk to us," Delko suggested. "We're your friends, Speed. We care about you and want to see you happy."

"He's right," agreed Calleigh. "You can tell us anything, you know that. And if for some reason you don't think you can share with us, at least talk to Horatio."

Closing his eyes he sighed. "Fine." Maybe talking to them would help. Maybe having them be privy to the turmoil, to his problems would help bridge the gap between them, bring them closer together. And perhaps they would actually be able to give him the help that doctors hadn't, give him peace of mind. It was at least worth a try.

"Promise me, Speed."

"I promise."


	61. No Strings Attached

Note: There seems to a growing dis-interest in this story. Does it matter if I finish it?

**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-one: No Strings Attached**

The nightmares kept at him, chewing away the hours of the night until he was afraid to go to sleep. He would walk to the bedroom door, the room bathed in the glow of light, and stare at his bed with longing. Mite, always eager for a little love, would bound into the room and curl up on the bed, waiting for a snuggle that eventually stopped coming. He'd only end up shutting off the light and turning his back on his bedroom. In his nightmares he relived the horror of that day in the jewelry store. Or he was back in the lab on the day of the shooting, running through hallways to find that all of his friends had been murdered in cold blood. He hated closing his eyes and letting the power of sleep dragging him into the murky darkness. He would sit on the couch watching late night shows but not really paying attention to the television. As does happen he would drift off to sleep, Mite curling up beside him on the sofa, and miraculously the nightmares would not come. For a while he thought about sleeping on the couch permanently, dragging out a blanket and pillow, making himself comfortable. But for some reason he felt that was admitting defeat, thus making him reluctant to take that step.

Oddly enough his lack of sleep seemed to go unnoticed at work. Perhaps because he was able to do his job just as if he'd slept the whole night through. He worked with the trace evidence, produced results. Even managed to teach Ryan a thing or two that the younger investigator hadn't yet known. Unfortunately, despite their hard work they drew no closer to finding out who murdered that family. They did put to rest an old cold case and solve two robberies; one of which turned out to be a count of fraud by the home owner instead of an actual robbery. All in all the week went by fast and without any problems at work. None of his friends badgered him with unwanted questions. They weren't asking him how he was feeling every time they happened to pass in the hallway. He began to think that perhaps things were getting back to normal.

With the exception of the nightmares.

Everything seemed okay otherwise. They were laughing and joking, making unnecessary comments on the job. Dare he think that things were even beginning to smooth between him and Delko. His friend no longer brought up questions about their friendship, or his feelings about wanting to turn it into a relationship. There was no mention of the kiss a few nights ago. No mention of the events that took place before he ran away months back. It did bother him when he realized that Delko forgot to do something that was routine on the job. But Calleigh spoke to him in a hushed voice with an understanding smile that helped him to see things for what they really were. And he let it slide, keeping an eye on Delko but not going out of his way to correct his friend.

Everything was going famously.

Until a few minutes ago.

Now he was sitting in the locker room with the all too familiar pain in his chest and his hands clenched into fists. It all started falling apart when he realized that he'd allowed himself a false sense of security. That was all the last days happened to be. Nothing had really changed, not in the way he'd been thinking that it had. He could still see the level of guilt in Horatio's eyes when they talked. The worry in Calleigh's words and the way that Ryan tried not to talk about shooting victims while they processed evidence. Despite all his hard work, his belief that things had gotten better, he realized nothing had. He was fooling himself. Perhaps he wanted things to get better so badly that he envisioned how it would be when the time came.

But a false sense of security did him no good.

He sat there, cursing himself under his breath. How could he have been so dumb, such an idiot to allow something like this to happen? He should have known better. And why did he friends let it happen?

The door to the locker room opened and Delko walked in. A smile appeared on his lips when he saw. "Hey, hiding from your work?"

------------------------

He had been busy downstairs talking with Tripp about the return of Hagen, who was set to come back on desk duty the beginning of next week. Finally things were returning to some semblance of normal around the lab. All those injured in the shooting a few months back were back hard at work, bandages gone. A few had decided to move on to other careers or retire; which he understood fully. Sometimes he thought about retirement but then he'd get a call taking him to another crime scene and the job would suck him in again. How could he retire when there were criminals to be put behind bars? He still had a lot of good years left.

As he walked down the hallway toward his office he saw Speed hard at work in the Trace Lab. Velera was conversing with Ryan and Calleigh, no doubt about the results of a DNA test that she'd run. He heard the sound of a video recording from the AV room where Cooper did what he was good at. All in all there was nothing he could complain about. There were still bits and pieces that needed to be put back into the picture but in time, even they would move back in and finish the picture. He opened the door to his office and faltered in his step to see that Delko sat waiting for him. Recovering quickly he closed the door and went to sit behind his desk.

"Something wrong?" he asked his friend. He settled in his chair.

"You need to talk to Speed," Delko told him.

Horatio's heart sank. He thought things were going well so of course the smooth road would acquire a sudden pothole. "Why? Is he having trouble?"

"He offered to sleep with me," confessed Delko without a trace of embarrassment. "Something about no strings attached. That doesn't exactly sound like normal conversation. Especially when he just blurts it out while I'm talking about crime scene photos."

"You turned him down?"

Delko look at Horatio as if he had three heads all of sudden. "Of course I did. I may want a relationship with him, H, but I don't want it because he's feeling insecure or something else along those lines. I want it to happen because he feels the same way."

There was more to it Horatio knew, and he even knew exactly what it was but he wanted to hear the words from Delko. He wanted someone else to confirm his troubling through. "And why are you bringing this to my attention?"

"Because I'm afraid that Speed might get reckless."


	62. I Thought She Knew

**Chapter Sixty-two: I Thought she Knew**

The man fidgeted, uneasy with the sudden shift in his day. Looking around the interrogation room with the glass walls he felt like a fish under inspection. When he'd gotten up to answer the knock at his door he never expected to find the police. He never expected them to handcuff him and drag him away to the precinct without explaining the real reason why. And now here he was, sitting here stewing in a mix of anger and fear while waiting for someone to talk to him. He watched people pass by but for at least an hour no one entered the room. He was starting to get thirsty. Then the door opened. He whirled around to find a man with red hair walking into the room followed by a younger man with dark hair and the nearly bald detective that slapped the cuffs on him.

"What the hell am I being held here for?" the man ordered, those his voice lacked the anger he wished to convey.

The red head sat at the table across from him. "Mr. Stevenson, what can you tell me about your wife?"

"We're separated, have been for that last six months," the man replied. "Though we have been going to a marriage counselor. Why? What does she have to do with anything?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, Mr. Stevenson, but your wife was murdered this morning," Horatio told him. "A neighbor called it in. Can you think of anyone that might want to harm your wife?"

The suspect looked on the brink of tears, his hands shaking. He clasped them together in his lap. "I…no." He shook his head. "Dammit."

The integration continued until Horatio was convinced that the man's story backed up the evidence. The bloody fingerprint found at the scene did not belong to the husband or anyone in the database. Very rarely did he come across such a brutal murder to find the person committing it didn't already have a rap sheet. Frank led the man from the room, talking to him in a hushed voice about the crime and the things that he should be doing now, people that he should contact. Horatio looked over his shoulder at Speed to see what the young investigator thought of their only suspect. He too seemed convinced that the husband was telling the true. Of course, that meant they had a maniac on the loose in the city. Someone they were going to have to track down quickly, before anyone else had to die.

-------------------------------------------------

"Come on, we have a call," Ryan said leaning through the doorway. Speed looked up from the test he was running at the newest member of the team.

"Just give me a minute to put this in the machine," Speed replied, slipping the vial into the necessary machine and hitting the start button. As usual there was a pile of evidence occurring in the lab. There was the murder in the posh house that still needed to be solved. They needed to get all the proper evidence in order for the case against the man who stabbed Horatio. And now the case of the murdered woman. Things were getting busy at the lab and Speed was displeased in hearing that he was going to have to collect evidence in yet another case. What the hell was happening to the world? Removing his lab coat he left it hanging on a hook by the door, following after Ryan.

He willingly let the younger man drive, not wanting to bother fighting the afternoon traffic. The sun shone down on all the grime and horrible crimes like they were things of beauty. Sometimes he wondered what it was that he saw in this forsaken city. Why did he bother returning? He could have bought a nice little house in some small town; a house with a yard for Mite to race around in like any normal dog. But of course, he knew that the whole small town appeal was lost on him. He was used to the bustling of a city. From living in New York to running away and ending up here in Miami. The big city called his name. And with the big cities came the big city murders.

After driving for nearly a half hour Ryan pulled the Hummer to a stop along the side of a two-lane highway. An officer was busy directing traffic. A few cop cars with their lights swirling painted the small stretch of roadway in blue and red. At the center of all the hubbub was a black SUV, the driver's side door hanging open. Grabbing his kit from the back Speed headed straight for the vehicle, ignoring the officer that stepped forward to talk with Ryan. He settled his case on the pavement by the back tire, moving forward slowly so as not to step on any evidence. When he reached the open driver's side door he looked in at the body.

And that's where Ryan found him standing a few minutes later. "Something wrong?" inquired the former beat cop. "Did you know the guy?"

"Yeah, H and I talked with him a few hours ago about the murder of his wife."

----------------------------------------------------

He waited patiently and quietly for Valera to finish running the DNA tests before going to Horatio with his suspicions. It was always better to back up an idea with a form of evidence, especially in this sort of job. While waiting he tried to figure out what his potential connection to two murders might mean. He also realized how slightly absurd the whole thing sounded. But then again, people murdered for all sorts of reasons so perhaps his idea wasn't quite so farfetched after all.

Delko walked into the room. "Calleigh is a tad miffed to hear that you checked out her evidence."

"I thought she knew," Speed remarked. "She was only five feet away when I signed it out of the evidence locker."

"She isn't mad, Speed," assured Delko. "Just curious about what you're up to and hoping that you'll bring her into the loop. So what did you want with the evidence? We've already processed it."

"He wanted hairs," Valera answered, walking over to the two of them with paperwork in her hands. She handed a sheet over to Speed. "The hairs from your scene on the highway match the hairs found in the victim's wife's apartment. They belong to a breed of dog known as the Iceland Sheepdog." She gave him the second piece of paper. "The hairs from Calleigh's case belong to a Tibetan Mastiff."

Delko shook his head. "So the victims owned dogs, since when is that a crime?"

"Both breeds are rare," pointed out Valera.

"And both dogs are missing," said Speed, looking at the results and not liking the alleys his mind started to wander.


	63. Celebrity

**Chapter Sixty-three: Celebrity**

He walked Mite along the shoreline, enjoying the sound of the waves. Even in the fading light of day people still wandered about the beach, enjoying every last moment that the day bestowed upon them. He wished that he could enjoy the way the sunset painted the sky and reflected in the ever moving ocean. He wanted to be lost in the sparkle of the colorful city lights, the clubs starting to get full as young party goers decided to spend their evening withering to the latest cool songs. There were other things that he wanted to get lost in but his mind refused to focus, refused to let go of the fear that clung to him like a bad smell. Having left work only a few hours ago he knew that the two unsolved cases had gone nowhere.

And as long as those cases went nowhere he was essentially in danger.

Horatio had spoken to him before he left, voicing his concerns and asking whether or not he wanted to have someone watching him at all times. What good would it do to be under constant surveillance? Even with someone watching he could still be killed. The murderer wouldn't get away with it but his life could end nonetheless. Why make someone witness that? Why give somebody else nightmares that they could not outrun?

Mite seemed to be enjoying his walk, nose to the ground almost the entire time. As they left the beach behind he suddenly found himself standing in a small park that he recognized from some time ago. He'd come here on a case searching for a dog. How ironic that he be here now walking his own dog. There were a few people in the park, mostly couples chattering away and taking in the beauty of a classic Miami sunset. He kept a watchful eye, making sure that nothing looked out of the ordinary. He needed to keep his wits about him, to be on guard at all times. They had no idea what was being done with the missing dogs, though the possibility of them being sold on the black market seemed likely. But there were worse options; after all, the world was full of demented and sick people. What if someone wanted the furs to make a coat? Or wanted the specimens to be stuffed and mounted? He had done some research on the Tibetan Mastiff. They were big dogs, perhaps good enough for the fighting ring.

Every single one of those ideas made him sick to his stomach.

He looked at Mite, that Anatolian Shepherd rolling around in the grass at his feet, and though about how the dog changed his life. There were nights that were hard to get through but Mite was always there to offer the best comfort a dog could. He never had to worry about going home to an empty apartment, knowing that someone would be happily waiting for him when he opened the door. There was a time when he didn't even contemplate being a pet owner, simply because he did not spend enough time at home. But then Mite stepped into his life. Right when he needed the dog most. The thought of someone taking his dog, kidnapping his Mite, made his head swim. The shepherd seemed happy in his new life.

And as Speed knew, everyone deserved to be happy.

Unable to resist the antics of the dog any longer and crouched down to give Mite a furious tummy rub. The dog's tongue lulled out of his mouth, his tail wagging.

With Mite he had unconditional love. What more could a person ask for?

He stood. "Come on fella, let's get home and see about dinner. I'm thinking something to do with hamburger."

-----------------------------------------------------

A short time later, stomachs full from a delicious home cooked meal the two of them settled on the couch. Speed started flipping channels to see if perhaps there was an old movie on or something else that might catch his eyes. As he flipped to a news channel the headline stopped him, grabbing his attention and making his heart skip a beat. The blond anchorwoman sorted out the details of late breaking news. It seemed that a starlet visiting Miami for a week had gone missing. The authorities were already talking to the last people to see her alive. A friend told the media that she'd been traveling with her dog, a Catahoula Leopard Dog. Having never heard of such a breed Speed instantly knew that this case was linked to the others. As if to confirm his suspicions his cell phone rang. He got up, retrieving it from the kitchen counter.

He listened quietly while Horatio spoke to him, then said, "Yeah I saw it on the news just a minute ago. Do you really think this might be related? The other two dog owners were murdered. The news says that she's missing. A sudden change of MO?"

As Horatio set to talking again he returned to the living room to shut off the television. Mite still lay on the sofa, his soft brown eyes watching Speed's every move. The next chance that he got to talk he asked, "Hey, is it all right with you if I bring Mite to the lab? I don't exactly feel safe leaving him here alone." When all was said and done he hung up, assuring Horatio that he'd be back at work shortly. Heading for the apartment door he called to Mite, retrieving the dog's leash from its special peg by the door. He clipped it to the dog's collar. "How about we go on an adventure?"

The two of them headed out into the hallway, intent on returning to the lab.


	64. The Game is Over

_My apologies for the long delay. I have been dealing with back pain brought on by an old injury. I do fully intend to finish this story! Thank you to those that still take the time to read and review it. =) Much appreciated.  
_

* * *

**Chapter Sixty-four: The Game is Over**

Evidence from the crime scene was already waiting for him when he got to the lab. Seemed that the others had been especially busy in his absence. Did any of them actually have lives anymore or had work become the only thing that mattered to them? There was a time when they used to go out together after shift, hit the newest club, have a few drinks and do some dancing. For him it seemed like those days happened years ago, possibly even in another lifetime. Maybe in a movie that he happened to catch on television. So much have changed that he wasn't sure they could make things right. Then again, he no longer knew what it meant to have things be right. He wondered if he would ever be right, after all, everybody else seemed to be fine, moving on with their lives and passed the tragedy of a few months ago. Why couldn't he just let go the way that they did? Why must it haunt his every free moment?

Like now.

Shaking his head he checked to see what his dog was doing, happy to note that Mite behaved like an angel while at the lab. The shepherd was currently sleeping under the table, unbothered by the sounds of the people and machines. As he waited for a test to finish he watched Mite, watched the rising and falling of the dogs chest. Every once in a while a paw might twitch, his tail might move. A horrible crime brought the unwanted dog into his life. And now he found it hard to be without Mite. He received a source of comfort from having the large shepherd around, believed that should it come down to it that Mite would protect him at all costs. Dare he even think that having Mite around kept his anxiety levels down to a more manageable level? Without the dog there was no telling what might have happened on his journey through the states.

And now he had new worries.

People were being killed and rare breed dogs were disappearing for who knows what purpose. He checked. Anatolian Shepherds didn't exactly make the popular breeds list. Mention a Labrador and most people knew what the hell he was talking about. Mention Mite and they usually looked at him with that classic puzzled expression. For all he knew his dog could very well be the next one on the list. He was worried about leaving Mite alone, afraid that he would return from a shift to find the dog gone for good. What would he do with himself should something like that happen? He didn't even want to think about it. He had to find a way to keep a constant eye on Mite.

Then an idea came to him.

Law enforcement officials used dogs for a lot of different task. And it was no longer the German Shepherd or Doberman that officers picked time and time again. Labradors, Beagles, Rottweilers, Bloodhounds; they all had jobs in the law enforcement. Hell, he knew more officers that used the Belgian Malinois over the German Shepherd nowadays. In fact, there was one working various states as a bomb dog. The understanding of a dog's abilities had come so far in the last few years. Not only did they help law enforcement sniff out drugs and bombs but they rescued people buried in the snow; led anthropologist to cadavers; located missing people; and some were even known to be able to detect when their owner was going to have a seizure. There had been a story some time ago in one the science journals about dogs actually being able to sniff out certain forms of cancer. The possibilities for a dog having a career were endless. He wasn't exactly sure what someone might use an Anatolian Shepherd for but a little research might lead him to the right answer.

He definitely needed to have a word with Horatio about the prospect of making Mite part of the team.

Officially.

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A short time later he was heading toward Horatio's office, still trying to figure out what the hell he was doing at the lab so late when there was a night shift. Padding along quietly at his side was Mite, free of a leash. The dog seemed almost at home in the lab, like he enjoyed the place as much as his owner used to. Speed felt energized with the prospect of training his dog to be of help in some way. Then he could take Mite with him everywhere. And maybe, just maybe, he would regain some of his confidence, learn to love his job the way he once did. He really wanted to run the idea by Horatio but never got the chance because his pager went off, a second later his phone rang. With a sinking heart he listened as Frank read him an address. From the sounds of things the missing celebrity had been found.

Not alive.

And her dog long gone.

---------------------------------------------

He left Mite in the back of the Hummer when he arrived on the scene. For now he did not want the dog to contaminant the crime scene. That would only work against them, not with them. As he trudged across the open space with his kit in hand he found it odd to be working under streetlights and in the glow of headlights. He wasn't used to collecting evidence under the night sky. In dark clubs and the farthest reaches of a car trunk, yes, but an open field in the middle of the night? He figured that it could have been worse. They could have been working out in the everglades where the only light would have been from the emergency vehicles. Talk about making easy prey for gators.

On his way to what looked like ground zero of the scene he came across his boss. Horatio was on the phone but clearly on hold while the person on the other line fetched someone or did who knows what. Feeling that this might be his only chance to bring it up the rest of the night he stopped by Horatio's side. His boss looked at him, ready for the impending question.

"Can I talk to you later about Mite?"

"Sure," Horatio answered. "When we find time."

He was going to say more but whoever his boss was talking to came back on the line and their conversation resumed. Times like these he was sure happy not to be in Horatio's position. A high profile person being murdered in Miami? Especially when it seems that she was murdered for her dog? Horatio's lab was the one processing the scenes so they would be put under a lot of pressure. Horatio would undoubtedly take the brunt of that pressure. He always did, when asked why he said that it helped his team work better. Too much pressure led to mistakes being made which only made matters worse in the long run. At this rate the stress of the job would kill Horatio before a bullet or well placed knifing.

Speed pushed those thoughts from his mind.

He did not want to think, for even a millisecond, about the stabbing.

About all that blood.

The fear.

The rush of hopelessness.

The possibility of loss.

Blood. Crimson blood.

"Speed?" Eric's voice drew him from the depths of his unwelcome thoughts, forcing the images back into the box they'd come from. "Are you okay?"

Speed smiled somewhat shakily. "Sure, dandy as can be, given the circumstance."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Eric said, having a general look around. "From what Calleigh and Ryan have told me, this scene is a complete mess. Might take us hours to sort out everything."

"City is going to love paying us over time," Speed remarked, thinking that perhaps it was not in the budget. Then again, with someone famous having died, the mayor might find a hidden stash of money. One never knew. Then something dawned on Speed. He'd been standing here like a civilized person making small talk with one of his best friends. For a short time he forgot about everything else, slipped back into an old routine. Acted like he would have before being shot. And just like that the moment was ruined, gone, slipping from between his fingers. What he would give to have that feeling back.

"Hey," Eric interrupted his thoughts again. "Can I talk to you when we have some free time?"

"Uh, sure." What could Delko want to talk to him about?

The kiss, a little voice in his head chimed in. He wants to talk about the kiss


	65. The Two of Us

**Chapter Sixty-five: The Two of Us**

Before Speed could the lab he was cornered by Horatio. His boss had an odd expression on his face, one that Speed could not read for the life of him. But he felt a sudden surge of worry, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was late, really late, nearing midnight the last time that he glanced up from the evidence. A bit of wandering around the lab showed him that all the others were gone, probably snug at home in their beds. He'd been so wrapped up in what he'd been doing that he let time slip away, and now he was tired, ready to venture home, get some shut eye. And he had been on his way to the locker room when he crossed paths with Horatio. That's when his boss decided that they needed to talk.

Speed wondered what it could be about, and why it seemed like everybody suddenly wanted to have a word with him. He thought for a fleeting moment that he could broach the subject about turning Mite into a forensic dog but then remembered the tone of Horatio's voice. It would have to wait until another time. He worried the entire way to Horatio's office, thinking possibly that he might just skip out, ditch the meeting and head home for some sleep. He could return to his apartment, let the impending conversation wait until the next day. He _was_ tired, after all.

The more he thought about the more he wanted to sleep, his pace slowing as he neared the hall with Horatio's office. When he reached the corner he drew to a halt, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. Mite stood at his side, void of leash, waiting patiently for him to make a move. And like that Speed made up his mind. He turned, heading back down the hallway making his escape. Surely when the morning came his boss would understand. Sleep was important to someone like him, to someone in his line of work. The slightest misjudgment could result in someone losing their life. He didn't want to put himself, or his friends, at that risk. At least, that's what he kept telling himself as he ventured outside into the cool night air. Despite the hour the city kept going around him, people always having places to be, things to do. He made it halfway across the parking lot before he heard Horatio yell his name.

He stopped in his tracks, his head hanging down, not bothering to turn around and watch as his boss approached. Had that been a note of disappointment that he heard in Horatio's voice?

"We need to talk, Speed," Horatio said, now standing behind Speed.

"I'm tired, can it wait until tomorrow?"

"No, I'm afraid it can't," came the response.

Speed had been afraid that he would hear those words. Slowly he turned to face his boss, realizing the he kept thinking of Horatio as his boss instead of his friend. When had that started happening? Was it some sort of unconscious sign? "Okay…."

"Eric came to me the other day…"

A stab of pain ran through Speed's chest, knowing instantly where this conversation was headed. He really should learn to keep his mouth shut, think before speaking, let some thoughts remain in his head for his own private entertainment.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Horatio asked when he read the expression on Speed's face.

He shook his head. "Not particularly."

Horatio sighed, hands on his hips. Apparently there was no way of getting out of this, no way of dodging the conversation. He knew the look on Horatio's face all too well, that hint of disappointment, the dash of worry. "Speed, every time I start to think you're making progress you take a step back. I understand, to a degree, that you made the offer because of the way Eric feels for you. However, that does not justify what…." He shook his head. "Seriously, no strings attached? Speed, do I need to worry about you?"

The word _no_ popped into his mind instantly, yet he couldn't find it within himself to actually speak that simple word. In the long run it never turned out to be that simple. They stood in the darkness, the two of them quietly regarding each other. He was trying to figure out the right thing to say, the right way to get out of this conversation but nothing came to him. Nothing but the truth, and he wasn't willing to admit that to himself, never mind speaking the words out loud.

"Tim?"

"Fine," his voice wavered, giving away his lie.

Horatio waited patiently.

Speed sighed. "I…" He massaged the back of his neck out of nervous habit. "There are thoughts…fleeting thoughts of actions…for the most part I can keep them to myself, keep….from acting on them or voicing them. But…"

"Sometimes they break free." Horatio sounded understanding.

Amazingly he felt himself nodding.

Horatio regarded him, studied his face. "Speed, tell me the truth, do I need to worry about you? Are there thoughts in there, dark, unfriendly thoughts?"

Unconsciously he rubbed at the scar on his arm, remembering how it came to be there. This time he found it far too easy to lie, the simple word that eluded him earlier popping out before he could give it proper thought. "No."

No sooner had he said the word then he realized that Horatio didn't believe him. He could read it on his boss's face. However, Horatio let it slide, for reasons he couldn't figure out. Perhaps he didn't want to know. For all he knew Horatio planned to have a longer conversation with him the next day. Somewhat reluctantly, maybe hoping for Speed to make the next step, Horatio told him to go home, get some sleep. He knew that he should have stayed, should have talked about some of the things bouncing around in his mind. But that meant talking about things he didn't want to admit to himself so he let the whole conversation go, turned and headed for his vehicle, Mite right at his side.

-------------------------------

When he got home, the hallway of the apartment building smelling like burned popcorn, a smell he found repulsive, he could barely make it to his apartment door. He was so tired, literally dragging his feet. There would be no way he'd make it to the bedroom; it looked like he would be crashing on the couch. With some luck he would remember to secure his gun before passing out into the pleasant state of slumber. He pulled his keys out of his pocket, Horatio passing through his mind for some reason, reaching for the door knob. When the door opened he looked longingly toward his bedroom, knowing that he did not have the strength to make it there, the phrase 'dead on his feet' popping into his mind. He didn't want to think like that.

Stepping into the apartment he heard the crunch of paper under foot. Looking down he noticed a slip of paper on the carpet. Frowning he bent down to pick it up, wondering what it could possibly be. Then he saw his name scrawled in the familiar handwriting of his friend. That's when he remembered that Delko wanted to talk to him, though the time never presented itself. Closing the door, making sure to set the locks, he wandered over to the couch, dropping a few of his things on the coffee table. Mite immediately hopped onto the couch, curling up into a little ball.

In the glow of a lamp he flipped open the folded paper, reading the carefully handwritten words. _Life never seems to work out the way that we want, thought that no longer surprises me. I really wanted to talk with you tonight but the time never seemed right. Before I left the lab I swung by to see if maybe we could ride together, yet you were so into your work that I felt it would have been wrong to bother you. You didn't notice me standing in the hall, watching you. I like doing that sometimes, I admit; watching you when you don't notice that I am looking. It gives me a chance to see you, the you that you were before the shooting. Might be hard for some people to believe but I do remember how things were back then, Speed, back before you nearly…died. Before I got shot in the head. I remember every minute I have spent in your presence, every word that you have ever said to me. There are a lot of things that I want to tell you, so many things that I need to get off my mind. When the time comes I hope you will be willing to listen, without judgment, without interruption. Delko_

He read the note a second time before folding the paper and tossing it on the coffee table. He should have given the note more thought, but he could barely keep his eyes open. He just managed to get his shoes off before nodding off, sleep finally laying claim to him.


	66. Gone

**Chapter Sixty-six: Gone**

Speed felt refreshed when he pulled the Hummer along the curb. He'd gotten the call while in the shower, hearing his phone beep when he shut off the water. After that it was a scramble to get clothed and leave the apartment. At least he found a temporary sitter for Mite. The sun was barely above the horizon as he stepped out of the Hummer, taking a deep breath of air. Closing the door he walked around to the back of the Hummer, popping the trunk and retrieving his kit. He closed the trunk, listening to the sound, finding it rather creepy that he heard only the sounds he made. Used to working in the bustling city or even in the everglades, home to a variety of animals, the background noise actually helped him focus. Out here, the silence was going to be distracting.

Moving around the Hummer he took in the scene before him. How odd for there to be a house in Miami without a lot of buildings around. The big city practically shadowed the everglades; looked like a hipper and more stylish New York City. There were a lot of similarities between the two cities, and he should having lived in both. But this house, it stood alone in a stretch of greenery, trees and shrubbery hiding the place from certain angles. Even from where he stood he couldn't completely make out the full structure. The home looked to be made of brick, resembling a small mansion more suited to a northern state, not Miami; where most of the big houses where made of white stucco and red roofs.

He ducked under the yellow crime tape, flashing a quick smile to the uniformed officer leaning against his patrol car. Sometimes he talked with the officer, got the lowdown on the crime scene before venturing into the mess. However, he felt like having a look at the scene without hearing what someone else had to say about, without having to hear their theories. He wanted to have his own first impressions. Striding across the lawn he tried to ignore the fact that the grass was starting to get long, a little weedy, and that the cement path to the front door was cracked and uneven. By all rights the place was starting to resemble a home left abandoned, the perfect place for someone to leave a body or commit a murder.

Closer to the large house he got the impression that the home _was_ abandoned. It could have been the way the plants grew right beside the house, encroaching on the structure. It might very well have been the broken windows on the second floor or even the crumbling chimney. Why would anyone in Miami need a fireplace, he wondered. Decaying leaves lay scattered over the three steps that led to the front door. They crunched under his feet. Why couldn't he hear the sounds of the city; which he could see from this vantage point? What about the sound of birds or a barking dog? Shaking his head, driving away all the horror movie moments that popped into his mind, he went through the front door. The wood looked swollen, old, perhaps even moldy.

Stepping into what used to be the foyer he wrinkled his nose, the place reeking of decaying wood and other unpleasant aromas. Including the distinct aroma of decomp. He let his nose lead the way, careful to watch his step in order to avoid ruining evidence and the risk of falling through the rotten floor. He had been right in thinking the place long abandoned. Wall paper peeled off the walls in long strips. There were a multitude of stains on the painted walls, some of which he could easily identify; which actually bothered him to some degree. Perhaps he had been on the job too long.

He passed through what might have been a living room at some point in time. The smell of decomp grew stronger but he still couldn't see the body. He settled his case on the floor, popping it open and removing a flashlight. Given the position of the sun and the amount of overgrowth around the windows the building actually ended up being darker than it should have been, giving him that creepy feeling that he was walking into some sort of trap. He shook his head, refusing to believe that notion. Thoughts like that would keep him from being able to do his job. Still, he pulled out his gun, flipped on the light, and began venturing further into the house. He crossed through the entrance into what might have been a dining room when he heard the sound of a creaking wood.

The sound came from behind him.

He whirled around, gun pointed.

"Ho, it's just me," Delko said, holding out his hands, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Bit jumpy?"

Speed relaxed. "This place is creepy."

"Yeah," Delko agreed, looking around at the room. "Smells awful, too. Have you found the body?"

"No," he shook his head. "That's where I was going. Care to join me?"

Delko placed his kit on the floor near Speed's, drawing his own gun for a measure of safety. The two of them set off to venture through the house. They went through the kitchen, the smell of decomp growing stronger with every step. A door in the corner stood open. A shiver ran down Speed's sign when saw it, knowing for a fact that it would lead to the basement. And his knowledge was confirmed when Delko looked through, announcing that there was a set of stairs. After a short discussion they decided to head down, thinking that maybe the body would be located in the basement. What better place to leave a murder victim?

Half-way down, Speed covering Delko, stopped on the creaky wooden steps. "Maybe we should just go have a word with the officer. He should know where the body is."

"Already talked with him," Delko said, continuing down the basement. "Said he cleared the area as best he could given the condition and smell, figured nobody was inside but he never saw a body. In a place like this it could be stuck in some wall or covered in rubble." He was further down on the set of stairs. "Looks like there is a lot of left over junk down here."

A loud clatter came from somewhere upstairs, making both men jump. Without having to say a word they both started back up the stairs, guns ready, walking carefully. Speed felt his heart beating frantically in his chest. He was trying like hell not to panic, to keep his cool in the heat of the moment. Delko must have read something in his body language because he put a comforting hand on Speed's shoulder for a fleeting moment. Then resumed trolling the area for the sound. Anything could have been hiding in the shadowy corners. They passed through the rooms, backtracking to the front door.

"Shit," Speed muttered when they reached the old living room. He let his gun fall to his side.

Delko came up beside him. "Now this really throws a kink in the chain."

Both crime lab kits were gone from the room.


	67. Up Against the Wall

Author: Um...I haven't the time at the moment so would someone be nice enough to help me out? I simply want to know if I explained anything about where Speed went when he left or the source of the cut on his wrist. Thanks!

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Chapter Sixty-seven: Up Against the Wall**

Calleigh sipped from her bottle of water, the day surprisingly hot for late autumn. She loved the state of Florida but sometimes the heat got to her, just like it did to everyone else. She was looking forward to the cooler days when working crime scenes outside didn't mean standing under the hot, beating rays of the sun. It also gave her the opportunity to break out her fall wardrobe. She may have spent the majority of her days dealing with blood and crime and guns but she was still a woman at heart.

"Calleigh," Horatio said, breaking the silence that had been hanging comfortably over the interior of the Hummer. They were heading back toward the lab after processing the scene of a car accident. According to the lieutenant it looked pretty cut and dry on what happened but he still wanted to see what the evidence had to say.

"Yes?"

He pointed to something out her window. They were currently stopped at an intersection. "Do my eyes betray me or is that one of our company Hummers?"

"Looks like it," she confirmed, wondering where this was going.

"So tell me what they're doing out here," Horatio flipped on his blinker. "I don't recall hearing a call for this location. I think we should see what's going on. Up for a side trip?"

She smiled slyly. "Sure."

Horatio took the turn, cruising slowly down the road, looking around at the scenery. There were some low rent apartments above businesses that looked like they could go either way. A mother with her two children walked down the sidewalk. Further down the road came the sound of music, a group of people enjoying the weather, having some sort of celebration. None of that really mattered to Horatio as much as the presence of the Hummer. He hated to think that one of his investigators was up to no good, doing improper things while on the clock. He pulled up behind the Hummer. Without speaking the two of them climbed out, approaching the other vehicle with a touch of caution.

"Huh," Calleigh murmured when she peered through the passenger side window. "The keys are still in the ignition."

"That isn't right," Horatio countered. He went around the front, placing a hand on the hood. "Still slightly warm. It hasn't been sitting here too long."

Calleigh pulled open the passenger door. "Are you getting a bad feeling about this, H? I mean, none of us are irresponsible enough to leave the keys in the ignition of a company car." She was about to close the door when she caught a whiff of something familiar. Horatio must have seen something in the look on her face because he was soon standing beside her, a comforting presence.

"What is it, Call?"

"The faint aroma of Speed's aftershave."

"You know the smell of his aftershave?"

She shrugged. "A girl notices those kinds of things. What's his vehicle doing out here instead of being at that house? Everything looked fine when I dropped Delko off. The officer even waved from his location. I don't….understand."

"Looks like we'll be making a detour on our way to the lab, Call. You take this ride," he said, heading back to their original ride. "I'll follow."

-------------------------------

Speed looked to Delko trying to figure out what the hell was going to happen. What could they do? How could the situation have gone from a simple crime scene to something like this? Why did it seem like bad luck followed him around? The silence of the house would have been pleasant, no longer creepy but it didn't look like things were going to return to the mundane. They had been looking around the house thinking that maybe they were standing in the wrong decaying room. But their kits were nowhere to be found, and they still couldn't locate the source of the decomp. It was Delko's idea to venture outside, have a word with the officer on the scene because he should know what the hell is going on. Only, when they stepped out onto the creaky wooden front steps things got worse.

The officer was gone.

As was his patrol car. _And_ the lab's Hummer.

That was when they knew that something was terribly amiss. Speed was making the move for his cell phone when everything that remained fell apart. He still couldn't quite figure out what happened or how the events led to them standing in the decaying dining room with guns pointed in their direction. He was standing with his back pressed against one wall while Delko was against the far wall. The two men holding the guns wore the clichéd black ski masks, way too uncomfortable for the weather of Miami. After all this time Speed was beginning to think that having a gun pointed in his direction was normal. He fully expected some form of panic attack to descend upon him at any moment and drive the situation to a new level. Yet he may have felt the panicky flutter in his heart but he somehow managed to keep his cool. Perhaps he was well on the way to returning to the man he used to be, the man that all his friends longed for him to be once again.

The men pressed the barrel of his gun into Speed's chest within centimeters of the old scar. "Where's the dog?"

"What dog?"

"You know what dog I'm talking about," the man snapped. "Tell me where the fucking dog is and I'll let you live."

"I…I don't know what you're talking about," Speed muttered.

"The shepherd," the man snarled, moving the gun to Speed's head. "I want the shepherd."

"He doesn't have that dog anymore," Delko suddenly spoke up, only to have the man watching him shift the position of his gun. He promptly shut up. But Speed took that simple sentence and ran with it.

He nodded his head. "Listen to him. I gave up the shepherd. Gave him to a family with kids. My job didn't allow me the proper amount of time to care for him."

"You're lying."

"No," he shook his head. "On the honor of my badge. I don't have him anymore. He went to his new family this morning. Please…"

"Give me their address."

He shrugged, shaking his head. "I can't, I don't know what it is. They came to my apartment to get him. Didn't bother to leave an address or phone number. Please…I don't have him anymore."

"What do we do now?" the other gunman inquired.

The man holding up Speed appeared to be the leader. He looked from Speed to Delko and back again. Then he smiled, though it looked wrong with the ski mask. "Well, I guess we clean up this mess, after all, we can't let them go telling anyone about us and this little….event, now can we?"


	68. See Right Through You

**Chapter Sixty-eight: See Right Through You**

Calleigh pulled the Hummer up to the curb while Horatio acted a little more recklessly, driving up over the curb and into the lawn with the two front tires. At the same time they climbed out, meeting around the front of Horatio's vehicle. The area looked undisturbed, silent, as though nobody happened to be in the area. A trickle of fear ran down Calleigh's spine as she pulled her revolver free of the holster. She looked at her boss, reading the worry on his face. They were most likely thinking the same thing, in their line of work it could be hard to think of a happy outcome. Especially when the city was still reeling from the cop killer a few months ago. That's something that took a lot of time to overcome. Unfortunately, Calleigh heard a few tales about cops getting a tad too rough with suspects. She hated to think that another cop killer might be on the loose.

"Where's the officer?" she asked. "He was here when I dropped off Delko."

"There was a call about a domestic disturbance," Horatio said, looking over the place for any sign of things amiss. Of course, the whole house and property looked to be out of place in the city of Miami. "Perhaps he thought the boys were perfectly safe out here in the middle of nowhere so he responded to the call. He might have been the closest officer."

She shook her head. "This isn't the middle of nowhere, H, it's smack dab in the middle of Creepsville."

Horatio started for the house, gun ready, Calleigh right behind. "This smells like a set-up."

"I was just thinking that," she agreed, sweeping her revolver over the overgrown bushes as they drew closer to the abandoned house. "That domestic disturbance call was probably a diversion, get the cop away from here so that someone could waltz right in. But why steal the Hummer and leave it parked on the side of the street?"

"Low-jack," Horatio provided the answer. "We should have left the Hummer where we found it. Panic may have cost us evidence."

He couldn't see it but she was smiling like the Cheshire cat. "Guess it's a good thing this gal wore a pair of gloves. Any fingerprints on the steering wheel should still be there."

"That's my girl," he said, placing a foot on the first creaky wooden step leading to the front door. The sound seemed to echo rather loudly in the otherwise silence. Both of them froze, neither of them breathing as they waited to see what happened. Somewhere inside came the sound of more creaking wood. A second later Delko stumbled into the open doorway, startling Horatio who spotted him first. In the next instant he was holstering his gun and up the stairs to check on his friend. "Are you okay? Where's Speed?"

"I…" Delko shook his head. "He…"

Horatio spotted a bit of blood by Delko's ear when he shook his head in confusion. Placing a hand on Delko's shoulder he prompted the injured man to sit, then crouched to get a better look at the wound. There was a deal of blood but it didn't look to be too serious. "What happened?"

After another moment Delko began talking, explaining how he had Calleigh drop him off for the call. He said that he could smell the familiar aroma of a decomposing body but upon searching the first floor and the basement they failed to find it, even though the smell got really strong toward the kitchen. He then recounted how a sound brought them out of the basement to find the kits missing and then things went down hill from their. When they realized that the cop was gone and Hummer missing they started worrying. They were making a plan about what to do next when two guys seemed to materialize out of nowhere. There was a bit of arguing about Mite and the guys got mad.

"The guy in charge must have decided to…." Delko shrugged. He touched the bloody spot on his head. "I think I may have been popped with the butt of a revolver. I distinctly remember seeing Speed getting hit that way. I figured he would be in the same room when I came to but….he's not there."

"Is he perhaps somewhere else in the house?" hazarded Calleigh.

Delko shrugged again, this time wincing in pain the slightest bit. "I came to a few minutes ago, heard you guys talking, figured I would work my way toward the front door. Haven't exactly gone searching the house."

Horatio stood, pulling his gun out of his holster for the second time that day. He instructed Calleigh to call for some back-up and to stay with Delko. He wanted both of them to be on alert. Then, with a sinking feeling that was becoming all too familiar, he ventured into the old, musty and rotting smelling house. He went through every room on the first floor, walking carefully through the room with spots of fresh blood on the floor. The fact that there was such a small amount of blood gave him some hope that things would turn out okay. Finding nothing in the basement left him with a mixture of relief and growing worry. He was happy Speed hadn't been dumped somewhere but until he found his friend there was no getting rid of that awful feeling.

Hearing the wail of sirens in the distance drawing ever nearer, he left the first floor for the second, testing the stability of the landing before slowly making his way down the hall. He checked every room, his hope of finding Speed diminishing with every empty room. The further down the hall he went the weaker the floor grew. The boards groaned loudly, protesting the sudden weight. It was the only sound in the house. Despite all attempts he was beginning to think of the place like the setting of a horror movie. The weak sunlight streaming through bare branches of a dead tree created odd shadows on the rotting floor.

With one last room to check he edged around the doorway. Holstering his weapon he moved into the room. He crouched beside Speed who was just starting to come around. The floor groaned loudly. He felt a shift that sent off a warning bell in his brain.

"H…" grumbled Speed, a hand going to the cut on his head.

"Tell me later," Horatio said. He gripped Speed under his arms, ready to pull him toward the door. "We need to get out of here."

But little know to Horatio the floor in the room was one of the weakest spots in the entire house. Speed's weight had added too much stress to the already weakened boards, the moldy wood developing cracks. The sudden additional weight of Horatio worsened the problem, proving to be too much for the old wood. With one final loud groan the floor gave away under them.

-------------------------------------------------------

Speed slipped the key into the lock, turning it, then pushing open the door. Much as he expected the place showed signs of having been rooted through. He figured out back in the house that the guys looking for Mite would have already searched his apartment. Good thing he got smart that morning and asked a neighbor to watch the shepherd. It happened to work out even better that she lived one floor up from him. They'd met in the laundry room shortly after he moved in and had a weird friendship since then. He felt awkward asking her to watch his dog but she jumped at the chance to be helpful. Now he realized that what seemed like a good idea could have turned out horribly. If the guys searching for Mite had found him in that apartment they probably would have killed the girl. He felt sick as he settled on the sofa. He could have gotten someone killed because of his dog.

He had entertained the thought of taking Mite out of state and finding him a new home but he'd grown attached to the dog. If he could help it he didn't want to part ways with his friend. He loved Mite.

Someone knocked on the apartment door. He made the attempt to get up but the simple movement sent pain through his body. Should anyone ever suggest to him that falling one story wasn't all that bad he would have another thing to tell them. His head hurt from the pistol whipping and had been aggravated by landing on broken wooden boards and the first floor. There were multiple bruises all over his body, a few minor cuts. The paramedic went down a cautious route, putting his left wrist in a brace claiming that the sprain was pretty severe. Horatio ended up with the same amount of bruises and minor cuts, twisting his ankle. He figured they were lucky. They could have been pierced by a sharp piece of wood, a rust nail.

A second knock broke him out of his thoughts.

"Come in," he said, deciding to remain on the couch.

The door opened and Mite came bolting into the apartment, tail wagging. He stopped just short of jumping on Speed sensing that something was wrong with his master. A heartbeat later Delko closed the door. "I came across the woman in the hall, said I would be happy to return your dog. Smart idea, by the way, ditching him somewhere they wouldn't think to look."

"Yeah….except I could have gotten her killed."

Delko remained standing. "Speed, I…will you come home with me?"

Caught off guard Speed looked at him. "What?"

"I don't want you here alone," he explained. "Please…you and Mite are more than welcome to stay with me."

Speed bit his bottom lip, absentmindedly scratching Mite between the ears. He was trying to think of a plausible reason for not leaving his apartment, afraid of what might happen if he went home with Delko. A lie started to come together, he turned his eyes to Delko but never got the chance to speak.

"Tell me any lie you want, Timothy Speedle," Delko said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "But I can see the truth written clearly on your face. Come on, I'll help you pack a bag."

.


	69. Selfish

**Chapter Sixty-nine: Selfish**

Delko grabbed a soda from the fridge in the breakroom. The day was dragging on too long in his honest opinion. Processing the evidence was starting to really get to him, looking up at the clock every minute or so. Time passed much too slowly for his liking. He sat at the table feeling somewhat anxious, passing the can from hand to the other as he stared at the television. The news was always on but he couldn't bother to focus on the stories. All he wanted was for the end of shift to come so that he could return home. It wasn't lie he was getting anywhere anyway. He couldn't put the pieces together, either because he was distracted or because none of it was making sense to him.

He let out a sigh as Calleigh waltzed into the room. Despite everything going on around them she managed to keep an air of happiness around her, a breath of fresh air. He had to give it to her, she kept finding the silver lining in every one of the crimes. Even knowing that Speed's life could be in trouble again and all because of his dog. After grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge she settled at the table across from him, a smile on her face.

"You look really out of it," Calleigh told him. "Something on your mind?"

"I want to go home."

She looked at him with questioning eyes. "Don't tell me that you are losing your taste for the job. Having Speed….spiraling this way and that is hard enough to handle. I don't want you flipping out on me, too."

He smiled, his eyes sparkling. "Don't worry about that," he said. "I convinced Speed to stay at my house last night. When I left this morning he was still sleeping."

"'Bout damn time," muttered Ryan as he walked into the breakroom, his sudden appearance making both Calleigh and Delko jump. "I was beginning to wonder how much longer I would have to watch you two circle each other before-"

Calleigh's laughter interrupted his flow of words. At that precise moment Delko was sitting across the table from her, his cheeks a blazing shade of red as he blushed. Apparently the idea that others were thinking about his relationship with Speed was somewhat embarrassing to him. What he didn't realize was that everyone in the lab was waiting for the other shoe to drop. They knew how much Delko loved Speed and though he apparently didn't realize it himself, they saw that Speed felt much the same way. In fact, just earlier that day Calleigh had been speaking with Ryan about the other two men, brainstorming on ideas about how they could get the two to the next step. When she heard that Speed was sleeping at Delko's she thought for a fleeting moment that it had finally happened, then she noticed the blush coloring Delko's cheeks and realized that it was all a misunderstanding.

"Still too soon?" she said as Ryan joined them at the table.

He hung his head, averting his eyes. "I don't want to push."

"You need to make a move," suggested Ryan, popping the top on his can of soda.

"I already have," countered Delko. He couldn't believe that he was sitting in the breakroom getting relationship advice from his two friends. What a lucky guy he truly was in the end. Sure he went through hell and back again, nearly losing all the people he cared for the most but now he had them all back within his reach. Maybe that which he wanted with all of his heart waited right around the next corner.

Calleigh stood, placing her hand over his. "Maybe you should try again. He's had time to think…"

"I'd listen to her," said Ryan, also standing. "She definitely knows what she's talking about. Go for it, Delko. Show him. Make him see that you really mean what you're saying."

Slowly Delko nodded his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, maybe you guys are right, maybe it's time…"

-----------------------------------------------------------

He fretted the entire drive home, anxious about what would happen when he reached his apartment. A small voice in his head kept uttering the same phrase over and over again; that Speed would have left at some point in the middle of the day. He absolutely refused to believe that and tried to keep his mood upbeat as he pulled into the parking lot. The idea of Speed being gone before he got the chance to show how he really felt was like learning about the death of his sister all over again. Despite the butterflies busily fluttering about in his stomach he knew that tonight he was going to make it clear to Speed. His actions might very well drive away the one man he truly loved but that wasn't going to stop him. He needed to once and for all if he was waiting for something that would never come to light. And if by chance Speed was never going to be his, well, then he would do his best to squish the feelings and accept Speed as a friend. If in the end friendship was all that remained on the table then so be it; he be the best damn friend Speed ever had.

Closing his eyes, steeling his spine, he gathered the last of his courage before slipping the key into the lock and breezing into the apartment. Mite greeted him the second he stepped over the threshold, tail wagging a mile a minute. He had to admit that he loved having the dog around, though technically he should have had the dog in his apartment. A few understanding words with the landlord cleared the way for Mite to stay a few days, no longer than a week. The building was strictly no dogs or cats. He gave Mite a loving pat on the head before placing his belongings on a table located near the door. From somewhere within the apartment he heard the sound of music, the setting low, further proof that Speed had stayed.

Unfortunately, Delko could feel his courage waning, the fear starting to get the best of him.

When Speed finally came out of the bedroom where he'd been looking for something in his suitcase he found Delko standing still as a statue. The appearance of his friend, who he had not heard come in, caught him off guard. "Delko?"

That one word was all it took to spur Delko into motion. Before he realized what was happening he found himself pressed back against the wall, Delko's lips pressed firmly against his. Much to his surprise he felt himself kissing back, a desire he'd been denying roaring to life. Suddenly all he wanted was to be loved, to have someone hold him and touch him in ways he hadn't experienced in such a long time. In seconds the kisses grew more heated, more passionate. A shocking sensation tore through Speed's body when he felt Delko's hands snake under his shirt, brushing against bare skin. Those hands felt like fire, burning him in a most satisfying way. He felt a stirring below the belt. So caught up in the moment that when their lips parted so that Delko could remove Speed's shirt the consequences never crossed his mind.

The article of clothing lay discarded on the floor.

Delko was letting his hands explore, passing gently over the scar on Speed's chest, brushing along his back, running them down Speed's arms. Something felt slightly off when he reached Speed's wrist, distracting him enough to break-up the kissing. He glanced at Speed's wrist to see the scar, now a dull shade of pink. He absently ran his thumb over the scar, turning his eyes toward Speed, the questions and sorrow clear on his face.

"Oh, Tim, why?"

Instead of answering Speed pushed him away, retrieving his shirt from the floor and heading out the door. Delko remained in place, more confused than ever.


	70. Just Don't Tell Me That

**Chapter Seventy: Just Don't Tell Me That**

"Speed, what are you doing sitting outside my house?" Horatio asked as he came up behind him. When Speed didn't answer he settled on the curb beside him. "Imagine my surprise when my phone rings. Apparently one of my neighbors called the cops because they figured you might be some drug dealer or something. At least they gave me the courtesy of calling me to see if I needed help. So tell me, Speed, what brings you to my house at this hour? Does it have anything to do with earlier today?"

Speed looked at his boss's wrapped ankle. "You shouldn't be up walking around."

"Be that as it may, when I see you sitting out here I can't help but find myself sitting beside you," Horatio answered. "Now come on, tell me what's wrong. Don't start shutting me out now, not when you're starting to make progress."

Realizing that his boss was right he started telling him about the rest of his day, the things that happened after he left the hospital and returned to the lab only to venture home with Delko. Much as he expected Horatio never once interrupted, listening with an open mind and letting him tell the story at his own pace. When he got to the part involving him and Delko he hesitated, afraid of how it would sound should he actually speak the truth about the situation to another person. Then he remembered that it was Horatio, the one person that kept telling him to do these sorts of things, to figure out how he felt about Delko and his life and all that other stuff. So he told him, afraid to look at Horatio as he spoke. His voice cracked once as he recounted the sorrow and pain in Delko's voice at finding the scar on his arm. Absently he traced the same scar as he talked about it.

When he finished he sat there holding his breath, waiting.

"Tell him the truth," Horatio suggested. "Tell him how you came by the scar."

Speed finally looked at him, searching his eyes for hidden meaning. "I can't."

"Only because you don't want to," pointed out Horatio. "I know how you came by the scar, Speed." That was news to Speed and he did little to hide the surprise on his face. Horatio smiled faintly. "You dropped enough hints about your travels that it wasn't all that hard to trace your path and check hospital records. I'm sorry," he quickly apologized. "I shouldn't have gone snooping but I was worried."

At first Speed was angry, mad that his privacy had been violated by someone he trusted. Then he realized how stupid it was to be mad. He needed to stop keeping it a secret. At some point the truth would come out, best that everyone learned it from him and not some other place. Of course, just because Horatio was willing to accept something so readily didn't mean that the others would be that at ease with the truth.

He shook his head. "I don't know…"

Horatio placed a hand on his shoulder. "Trust me, he'll understand, Speed. He loves you."

"Maybe you're right," agreed Speed somewhat slowly.

This time Horatio smiled. "Of course I'm right. Do you have any idea what it has been like for me since you came back? Every day I get the same questions from Alex and Calleigh. They are very curious about when the two of you are going to finally get together."

"Never can keep anything from them," Speed smiled for what felt like the first time in hours.

"So what are you going to do?" probed Horatio.

Speed swallowed somewhat nervously, amazed at the words that came out of his mouth. "Go back to his place and tell him the truth."

----------------------------------

He stood in the hallway outside of Delko's apartment, chewing his bottom lip, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Before leaving Horatio's he'd helped his boss back into the house, then headed back to this place. Now that he was here he couldn't figure out what to do, his courage starting to wane. For a while now he'd been weighing the idea of letting someone in on his secret and it turned out that Horatio knew all along. Of course, that got him thinking, the hospital didn't know the whole story so how was it that Horatio understood? He read the understanding in his boss's eyes; saw that the older man knew all the answers. Leave it up to Horatio to think about the ins and outs of the scenario until he came to a conclusion that fit. And also happened to be the truth.

Wiping a sweaty palm on his jeans he knocked on the closed door. Almost instantly Delko pulled it open. "You don't have to knock, Speed. You never have to knock."

He had to do this before he lost his courage. "Eric, we need to talk." He walked passed Delko, heading toward the couch. He settled somewhat uncomfortably on the couch, arms crossed over his chest. Wisely reading his mood Mite stayed curled up in his spot on a cushy chair, though he did wag his tail to show his happiness at having his owner back home.

Delko closed the door, slipping the locks into place. "Okay, let's talk," he said, settling on the coffee table across from Speed.

Speed wasn't sure he could do this with Delko looking at him so he closed his eyes, gathering his courage. "It was night. I was driving down a back road when I came upon an accident," he started, hearing a distinct quiver in his voice. Much to his dismay he felt an all too familiar tremble in his hand. At least it was hidden so that Delko could not see it. "You could hear the sound of the emergency vehicles in the distant so someone had made the call but I couldn't just drive away…I…."

"I don't think any of us could just drive away," Delko said softly.

For a moment he bit his bottom lip. "I got out to help. I….the details get a little fuzzy at this point. The driver's side window was busted, glass everywhere. There were some pretty nasty shards still in place and….A cop car arrived at the scene at the same time that I reached through the window to feel for a pulse on the driver's neck. My arm…." He shook his head. All at once that night came roaring back to him. He remembered the burn of the glass as it cut through his skin, the warmth of the blood pumping quickly from the open wound. "The cop started yelling. He pulled me away from the car, wrapping something around my arm. And then suddenly, I wasn't there. The scene got blurry and the noises distorted. I could see what was going on around me but my brain refused to process…" He trailed off.

Not even a moment of silence passed before he felt the warmth of Delko's hand on his cheek. "It was an accident, Speed. Nothing more than an accident."

Speed opened his eyes, tears starting to fall from his eyes. "No, it wasn't," he said barely louder than a whisper. "I could have reached the driver and felt for a pulse without touching any of the glass. I purposely…."

"We all have moments of weakness, Speed."

"But I-"

In one swift motion Delko reached out, grabbing hold of Speed's arms and pulling him close. The next thing Speed knew he was kneeling on the floor before Delko. The emotions of the last few months overwhelmed him. He threw his arms around Delko's waist, resting his head in Delko's lap as he cried. Delko did his best to comfort him, wishing he could take away the pain. Wishing that his love for Speed was more than enough to make everything better.


	71. Falling

5/20/09: Update on my profile.

**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-one: Falling**

Speed stayed the night at Delko's as planned. But what he hadn't planned on was spending the night in Delko's bed. His best friend had been willing to give over his bed and sleep on the couch so that Speed could have the comfortable place to rest. They bickered about it for a short time, Delko refusing to budge on the decision. In the end Speed curled up in the unfamiliar bed, the lights off, the night sounds of the city surrounding the building. Try as he might he couldn't drift off to sleep. It took him a while to realize what his problem was; he felt uncomfortable. Having had a close call during the day he was feeling unease. Once again someone had pointed a gun in his direction with the intent of hurting him. And all because of his dog.

Who knew that loving a dog could cause so much trouble?

An hour or two must have passed before he climbed out of the bed, shuffling through the darkness of the apartment. Delko snored softly from his position on the sofa. Mite lay sprawled out on the cool tile floor of the kitchen. Not wanting to wake up Delko he sat on the coffee table looking in the direction of the apartment door, his mind racing with so many thoughts that he couldn't focus on a single one. From his vantage point he could also see his beloved dog. He'd lied earlier in the day about giving Mite to another family. Now he was beginning to think that it might not be such a bad idea. Drive out of state and found a rescue that would be willing to re-home the Anatolian Shepherd. He figured that it was the only way he could keep Mite out of trouble.

Course, that made think about the string of cases and how each victim had lost a dog. From what he could manage to figure out Mite was the first case going back quite a few months to when he first returned to the job. He'd given the dog a home without really giving it much thought. It didn't matter to him in the least that Mite was a lesser known breed, a rare breed. He welcomed the comfort and companionship the wayward dog offered. Now there were more murders and more rare breeds of dogs missing. Someone wanted Mite for…what? Were the dogs being sold on the black market for extraordinary sums of money? Were they being used as fight dogs or bait for fight dogs? Or had some sick person gotten the idea of turning them into fur coats and other garments for people to wear?

He gazed at Mite's soft fawn coat; trying to imagine what it would be like if the dog was suddenly no longer part of his life. How far would he go to keep the dog safe? How far would the kidnappers go to get their hands on Mite? So many questions swirled around in his head but so few answers presented themselves.

"Speed?" Delko suddenly spoke in the darkness. "What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep," he sighed, not bothering to look in Delko's direction.

There came the sound of rustling blankets, then Delko was standing before him in nothing but his boxers. Speed looked up at him as Delko offered him a hand. "Come on, you need to get some sleep."

Without really thinking Speed took the offered hand, allowing Delko to pull him to his feet. He followed his friend through the dark apartment back to the bedroom. He climbed into the bed while Delko stood watching, wondering where this was all leading. Then much to his surprise Delko climbed in beside him. At first he felt a flutter of panic in his chest, his mind instantly throwing out a whole new slew of questions and probabilities. Where the hell was this going? What did Delko think was going to happen? Was he even ready for this sort of thing to happen between them?

"Now you aren't alone," Delko said quietly. "Think you'll be able to sleep?"

Speed sighed, relaxing as he turned onto his side. "I can try."

------------------------------------------------------------------

He put the sample in the machine, then leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest to await the results. It had been another busy day at the lab and though he'd been running one piece of evidence after another they were no closer to putting any of the cases to rest. It was unusual for the lab to have so many open cases at one time. Horatio prided himself on having a great team of investigators and a high solve rate. Because they managed to keep the solve rate so high they city had no problem finding them money for new equipment and sometimes even allowing overtime for particularly high priority cases. He hoped for the sake of the lab, as well as his and Mite's safety, that they managed to start getting all the right leads and caught the hoodlums responsible.

He hated to think that while they played with expensive machines and chemicals a family somewhere was being murdered because of their choice of family pet.

"You seem to be in better spirits today, Speed," Horatio said as he walked into the room, a ghost of a smile on his face. "I take it you got through the crisis of last night?"

"Yeah."

"Did you tell Delko what happened?"

Speed nodded slowly, knowing that there was no point in hiding anything from Horatio, not anymore. He had a lot of healing to do, he understood that, and it was going to be hard to heal if he kept every minor detail to himself. Horatio was there every time he needed someone to listen, someone who would not pass judgment but would offer support and advice. What had he done to deserve a friend as great as Horatio?

"How did he take?"

"Better than expected," Speed said.

Horatio smiled. "I told you that he would understand. He loves you, Speed. Even when he had trouble remembering certain details after the shooting he still loved you. He always asked about you."

"We shared a bed last night," Speed said quite out of the blue. He hadn't been planning to say anything about it to Horatio or anyone else but now that he'd said the words he found himself studying Horatio's face for his reaction.

"No wonder you've been in a happy mood."

Speed felt a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "No, we didn't-"

Horatio held up his hand. "It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, Speed. You're happier than you have been in a long time, that's what matters."

He wondered if he should tell Horatio the rest, figured that it couldn't hurt to voice the thought that had been waiting all day to be spoken aloud. "When I woke up this morning he was…holding me. At some point during the night he'd wrapped his arms around my waist and…"

"And?"

"I think I'm falling for him, H. Falling hard."


	72. When the Lights Go Out

**Chapter Seventy-two: When the Lights Go Out**

Speed came to in a darkened room. He rubbed at his eyes as he tried to recall what the hell had happened and figure out where he was. He couldn't recall much from the last few hours. There had been a break in the case, he could remember that much. But what exactly had it been? Had they been able to find one of the missing dogs or was it another murder with a slip-up by the killer? For some reason that minor detail managed to escape him. He did, however, remember Horatio talking to Hagen and Frank about making an arrest or something along those lines. Had they mentioned something about a raid or was he throwing in facts from an old case? He definitely remembered being told to go home, to get some sleep. At that point he put up a fight because he wanted to be there for…whatever the hell it was that they were going to do. The case was as much his as anyone else's, why couldn't he go along?

He closed his eyes again, searching his mind for the missing details and turning up empty. When he opened his eyes it was still unnaturally dark in…where was he? He could feel the softness of a mattress underneath him so at least he was somewhere familiar, or so he hoped. Someone had taken the time to throw a blanket over him to make sure that he didn't catch a chill. When he tried to stretch away an ache in his side he felt a wave of pain wash over his body. The pain was enough to keep him from moving another inch, a hiss of breath escaping from between his lips. What the hell was going on?

Straining, he tried to pick-up any sounds that might give 'way his location. Were those cars that he heard outside? Was it raining? His mind seemed a little foggy and it worried him that he couldn't remember certain things. And why did it seem like his hearing was off? The more worried he grew the more frantic his heart began to beat and he wondered if he might suffer some sort of heart attack. Fear waited within arms reach to drag him into the throws of a panic attack if he couldn't start putting the pieces together and bring some sense of calm over the situation.

It was another ten minutes of mentally arguing with himself before he realized that his eyes had grown used to the darkness. He was now able to make out certain shapes in the darkness. It looked like he was in a bedroom. His or someone else's? Noticing a lamp off to his side he risked the pain to reach out for it hoping to shine some light on the room. Alas, his efforts failed. No matter how long he played with the lamp no light came from the bulb. He was left in the darkness, left to deal with his growing fear. Could he be stuck in some sort of prison having been kidnapped or something? His mind flashed back to a few months ago when he'd been dragged into a shack in the middle of the everglades and beaten. A shudder trickled down his spine as his mouth went dry. He couldn't go through something like that a second time. Having to experience that again would be enough to make him….That was a thought he wished he didn't have, something he wished stayed buried deep in his subconscious.

He was on the verge of completely freaking out when he caught a faint glow coming from a doorway. With each passing second the glow grew a little bigger as it drew closer. Unable to move without causing himself pain he lay on the bed like a helpless victim wondering what horrors awaited him when that light finally reached the room. He held his breath, waiting. His hands clenched into fists.

Then Delko walked through the door with a candle in one hand and a lightless flashlight in the other. Speed felt a measure of relief at the sight of his friend, most of the fear dissipating. Delko sat on the edge of the bed, placing the candle on the nightstand. He smiled at Speed. "Glad to see that you're finally awake."

"What the hell…" His voice sounded scratchy, his throat felt dry.

"Storm blew out that power," Delko explained. "I can't believe you slept through it."

Speed tried to sit up but once again the pain got the best of him. "I hurt."

"I'm not surprised."

"Why?" Speed asked.

Delko looked away, a clear sign that he didn't want to answer the question. Speed felt a jolt of anger. He tried to reach out to Delko, to fight the pain and get some sort of hold on the man he thought he was falling in love with. Love. How could he be falling in love with someone who didn't even have the courage to answer a simple question?

"Delko," he said, trying to convey his need for an answer, "Please tell me what the hell is going on."

A sigh escaped Delko, his shoulders slumping a little. In the soft glow of the candle it looked like he'd been to hell and back, but that could have been the way the shadows played across his face. "She said you might not remember."

"Who?"

"Alexx."

"Delko…"

"They beat you, Speed," Delko finally said, keeping his back to Speed. "You went out to walk Mite after you got home from the lab and…when you hadn't returned after a while I went to see what was keeping you. I found you in the park lying on the ground." Delko was talking fast like he needed to get the words out and feared that speaking them might burn his lips. "Alexx says they hit you on the back of the head and kicked you once or twice while you were down."

"That explains why I hurt," Speed spoke rationally. A voice in the back of his mind began nagging. "Who beat me?"

"_They_ did," Delko said, stressing the first word. Finally he turned to look at Speed and it looked like he was crying but once again the lighting was poor, it could have been a trick of the mind. "I'm sorry, Timmy, I am so sorry."

"For what?" He could sense that the other shoe was about to drop.

"They took Mite."


	73. Serious

**Chapter Seventy-three: Serious**

Delko told Speed to stay home the next day, rest and recover from the beating at the beach. He put up little fight then agreed that it might be a good idea for him to do just that. But as the morning wore on he began to feel more and more anxious. The apartment was a comfortable place as he'd spent a lot of nights in the place with Delko and Calleigh during happier times. Without Mite around, though, he was starting to feel hopeless. He'd grown so used to the dog's company that he kept expecting to turn around and find the shepherd sitting there watching him. He missed those beautiful brown eyes, the sound of dog nails on the tile floor. He felt incomplete without his dog and he feared that he would never see Mite again.

The case had been going nowhere. None of the missing dogs had been located despite the majority of them having been micro chipped. Even he'd taken time to get Mite micro chipped while he was out of state. It made him think that the dogs were most likely being sent overseas under some sort of secret operation. He wanted his dog back, he decided as he placed a cup in the sink. And waiting around the apartment doing nothing was not going to get Mite back.

Slipping on his pair of shoes he walked out the door, making sure to lock it behind him. Outside he began wandering around a bit with no real idea of what he was going to do next, then opted that to swing by the park where he'd last had Mite. Maybe he could recall some missing detail of the night, something that the others wouldn't be able to figure out. He had been there that night; he might find a significant clue that went overlooked. At the least it might jog his memory. He knew that he should have stayed home, stayed locked safely in the apartment like Delko wanted him to but he wouldn't have been able to just sit around waiting for someone to find his best friend had they taken Delko. How could anyone expect him to behave that way when it came to his dog? Mite was there every step of the way, every night when the dreams got bad and when he wasn't sure he wanted to be around anymore, Mite always made him feel better. The dog loved him unconditionally. Mite never cared about his shortcomings and the mistakes he made. Nobody would ever love him the way that Mite did.

When he reached the park he wasn't at all surprised to find part of it roped off with that familiar yellow crime scene tape. What he was surprised to see what Ryan poking around some bushes. A uniformed officer stood a distance away casually flipping through a newspaper. Speed chewed his bottom lip as he weighed his options. He needed to have some inside information if he wanted to get anywhere in finding his dog. But Ryan? The two of them hadn't exactly gotten along well. Sure they were cordial with each other, not overly friendly, merely knew that they had to work side by side.

He decided that Ryan might be the weakest link.

Waiting until he knew the officer wasn't looking and while Ryan was crouched by the bushes he walked briskly across the park, ducked under the tape and stopped at Ryan's side. The startled investigator reached for his gun, then realized who was at his side. A range of emotions crossed his face. His thoughts probably mimicked those of Speed's a few minutes ago.

"Speed, what are you doing here?"

"I need your help," he said. "Please, I need to get Mite back."

"What do you think I'm out here doing?"

Speed shook his head. "You don't understand. Delko, Horatio, neither one of them are going to let me near this case. Hell, I'll probably either be banished to the lab or kept from work entirely. I'm not going to sit idly by while who-knows-what is done to my dog."

"And what exactly do you expect me to do?"

"Help me."

Ryan looked at him for a few seconds not speaking. Once or twice he opened his mouth to say something then closed it before uttering a single word. Finally his shoulders slumped in defeat. "All right, fine, I'll do what I can to help you, though I am not entirely sure what that is going to entail."

"Can you copy the case files for me?" Speed spoke the thought before realizing it.

"Are you serious?" Ryan asked. "That could get me in a lot of trouble, Speed."

"I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important."

"Fine," Ryan sighed. "Where would you like me to put the copies?"

"Call me when you have them."

He peered over the bush to see if the cop was looking in their direction or not. Luck was on his side as the officer was leaning in the window of the cruiser playing with the radio. He stood, making to leave when Ryan grabbed him by the arm. He looked at his fellow investigator, wondering if he could really trust Ryan, then deciding that he didn't have much of a choice.

"You do realize what sort of trouble you could be getting us into, don't you?"

"If you don't want to help you're free to back out," Speed laid the offer out before him. Going alone would be a little harder but if that's the way things had to be done then he would do it. He was actually getting used to doing things on his own.

Ryan was shaking his head. "No, I said that I would help and I plan to do whatever I can. I just wanted to make sure you understood where this could lead."

"I'm fully aware of where this could lead," Speed told him. "I'm tired of sitting around while people try to figure out whether or not I'm capable of doing my job. Don't think I haven't seen the way they look at me, the unspoken questions on their faces. I want my dog and I will get him back. Along the way I'll catch the bastards who took him."

"Horatio is always telling me that you're one hell of an investigator," said Ryan. "I think that I actually look forward to this little….job."

"Good, because there's no telling what's going to happen."


	74. Got the Feeling

**Chapter Seventy-four: Got The Feeling**

He tried to keep his mind focused on his work as there was a shit load of evidence that needed processing. Usually he didn't mind having a stack of stuff waiting to be tested but today he was having an unusually hard time concentrating on the task at hand. It might have had something to do with the conversation he had in the park yesterday. One minute it felt like the right thing to do, the next he was back to wondering if he had temporarily lost his mind upon agreeing to be a help. Hadn't the lab done the whole mole thing once before? And hadn't he gotten into a measure of trouble then? Hell, he got into a lot of trouble, angered his fellow investigators. Lest he should forget the time not too long ago when he helped to fake Horatio's death. That really made Calleigh and Delko feel that they couldn't trust him. And there was the whole gambling mess. The thing with that damned reporter chick that never quite got the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

If he went through with this and something terrible happened then his head would be on the chopping block. By all rights he had to say something to Horatio about the conversation with Speed. Yet at the same time he wanted to be friends with the man he was supposed to work with, not anger him and make Speed think that he was untrustworthy. In this job it was important to known someone had your back. Moments like these really made his obsessive compulsive tendencies shine through. And for once it was actually starting to bother him.

He put down the piece of evidence he'd been working with, took of his gloves and tossed them in a nearby trashcan. On his way out of the room he hung the white lab coat on a hook by the door. Then he was searching the halls for Horatio, figuring that his boss was probably in his office. Surprisingly there had been no calls today; which actually turned out to be a blessing seeing as there was a lot of evidence to go through. And the simple fact that things had gotten a little more urgent now that Speed had been attacked and his dog taken. Was it just him or did bad luck seem to follow Speed around?

Upon reaching Horatio's office he knocked on the half open door to announce his presence, then entered the room. As he had originally suspected his boss was working on the all important, and majorly boring, paperwork. Horatio looked up at him as he entered the room.

"Mr. Wolf," Horatio created him. Always Mr. Wolf and rarely anything else. "I can tell by the look on your face that there's something you wish to share with me but you aren't sure it's a good idea."

Ryan sank into one of the chairs. "It never ceases to amaze me that you can pick-up on so much."

"Maybe I've been doing this job for too long," Horatio smiled softly. "So out with it."

"Well....you see, it's like this…"

-------------------------------------------------------

Speed spent a pretty good portion of the morning doing research like a good investigator. He spent hours on the internet looking up various breeds of dogs and learning whatever he could about the black market. When he finally decided that he couldn't learn anymore he shut down the computer and left the safety the apartment provided him. He wasn't exactly sure what he expected to happen or even what he planned on doing. There wasn't much he could hope to do without having access to the evidence. If a lead should present itself he hoped that Ryan kept his promise and came through for him. Yet at the same time he still wasn't entirely sure he could trust the man. They hadn't exactly gotten along well since his return after being shot nearly two years ago. Had it really been that long? He couldn't remember.

It didn't take him long to reach the park where he usually walked Mite, including the night that he lost his dog. He should have jazzed things up a bit instead of sticking to a schedule. Routines always brought downfalls one way or another. If the dog snatchers had been watching him it wouldn't have been that hard to know what days he walked Mite, what time and where. He made it all too easy for them to take his dog. How could he have been such a fool? He should have known better.

The park was a popular place for waling dogs. He picked a bench that allowed him to see a good portion of the area. He'd brought a book with him to make it look as though he were just enjoying the day instead of watching people. He was on the lookout for rare breeds of dog. Today could turn out to be a complete waste of time or it might give him something to work with it. All he knew was that he couldn't spend the time at home in the apartment. He would go stir crazy worrying about his dog, feeling useless. And underneath it all he couldn't ignore the growing desire he had to spend time with Delko.

Looked as though he might have finally fallen in love with his friend.

When did that happen?

He was going to have to eventually sit down and have a talk with someone, clear his head, actually admit to all the doubts and fears swirling around in his head. Love was supposed to be some big beautiful thing that happened between two people. Why did he feel like he was on the verge of drowning?

A lady strolled by with a lovely reddish brown dog with pointed dogs and a thin build. He instantly recognized the breed as something called Pharaoh Hound. They weren't very popular or even that well known but he'd found the dog to be an interesting bred so it stuck with him. Seeing such an animal in person he could appreciate the true wonder of the breed right down to the shine of the dog's coat. He wondered how much a purebred cost, wondered if there were even any breeders in the states or if the dog had been imported. And that thought led him back to the question of what happened to all the kidnapped dogs? Where they sent overseas?

In trying to figure out the fate of the dogs he nearly missed out on a piece of potential evidence. A short distance behind the woman a man wearing shades and a baseball cap strolled. He had a newspaper rolled up and held under one arm, a coffee from a local coffee shop in one hand, and he was talking on a cell phone. The man looked like a million others in the park but for some reason he caught Speed's attention. Something about him seemed vaguely familiar. He watched the man, studied him, unable to shake the feeling that he'd seen him somewhere before.

And then it dawned on him.

Grabbing his book, he started to follow the guy.


	75. You Don't Know

**Chapter Seventy-five: You Don't Know**

The man never once made a move to take the Pharaoh hound from his owner. Though Speed did witness him writing down information in a little notebook. It looked to him like the man was logging the make of the car and the license plate. A lot could be learned about a person from their license plate, such as their name and where they lived. This man had to have the right sort of database to run the license plate though; which gave Speed a pretty good lead to go on. This person either worked in some form of law enforcement or at the department of motor vehicles. That was something to go on, something he planned to tell Ryan when the opportunity presented itself. His fellow investigator might very well figure out who was kidnapping dogs and murdering people.

He continued to follow the man in hopes of learning more information. He learned a long time ago that following a suspect around could be boring and tedious work. He was willing to do whatever it took to get his dog back, to get this man off the streets before he murdered another innocent person. Over the hours Speed followed him to a café, through a bookstore and waited patiently while the guy chatted up a girl completely uninterested in him. The hours of the day were wasting away and he wasn't any closer to finding Mite. Or to figuring out where this man was going.

Sitting on a bench outside a restaurant while the guy enjoyed his dinner, Speed noted that he sure seemed to eat out a lot, someone sat down beside him.

"What exactly are you doing, Tim?"

Speed looked at Horatio, then turned his gaze back to the man at the table across the street. "Why did I bother saying anything to Ryan? I knew I couldn't trust him."

"He's only looking out for you, Tim. He's worried just like the rest of us," Horatio pointed out. "So tell me, what the hell are you doing?"

"That guy over there," he pointed to the man, "he took Mite."

"Are you sure?"

Speed nodded. He felt a jolt of nausea as he looked at the man. He'd been walking through the park with Mite when someone came up behind him. The man smiled apologetically. To Speed he looked like the typical businessman dressed in a suit, a briefcase in one hand. He asked Tim for the time, seemed like a normal moment, something he wouldn't have thought twice about. Then the next thing he knew he woke up in bed at Delko's apartment. "He took Mite, Horatio. I remember him."

His boss studied the man. "Be that as it may, Speed; I don't want you out here following this guy. You don't know where this going to lead. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I won't get hurt."

"You don't know that."

"I have to get Mite back, H," Speed stressed. "That dog is the only reason I'm still alive. When I left…you had every right to worry that I was never going to come back. I had many nights when the thoughts running through my head got dark. Nights when I might have done something regrettable if it hadn't been for Mite. His company….I never felt alone."

Horatio put his hand on Speed's arm. "Don't worry, Tim. Do you really think I would come all this way just to turn back with nothing? This guy has been murdering people, kidnapping dogs. I can't have him running loose in my city." He pointed toward a black van a short distance away. "They're going to watch him, Tim. He won't spend a minute out of their sight. I promise. Now come back to the lab with me. Please."

------------------------------------------------

Horatio actually took him back to Delko's apartment instead of heading to the lab like he said. Before leaving Horatio promised to call him if anything happened. Speed reluctantly headed upstairs to Delko's, wondering why he didn't just head back to his own apartment. He was a full grown man capable of taking care of himself. Yet when he opened the door and found Delko waiting for him there was an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something he hadn't felt for a very long time. An emotion he'd been running from for years. He stood there staring at Delko.

"Something on your mind, Tim?" inquired Delko, not even bothering to chastise him for going out during the day and doing something potentially stupid.

He kept staring, thoughts running rampant through his mind.

"Speed?" Delko asked as he walked over to him.

On impulse Speed reached out, taking hold of Delko, then leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He recalled the last time that their lips had met, the last time that they kissed. He put everything he had into the kiss, all the depression and anger and the hunger of needing someone to love him. He felt the stirring of emotions, a friendship set on fire. At that moment he wanted to forget the world, to fall into another space and time where he could forget everything that was going on, all the horrible things happening in his life. He tugged at the hem of Delko's shirt, suddenly wanting the object of his affection to be without clothing.

"Speed," Delko whispered.

"Shut up."

Delko stepped away. "Timmy, please, don't make me do this, it isn't fair."

"What isn't fair?" He could feel the mood starting to wane.

"We can't do this because you want to escape," Delko said, holding him. "If we're going to take this to _that_ level…I want it to be real." He pulled Speed close, kissing him one more time on the lips. They stood there for hours just holding each other.


	76. Heat It Up

NOTE: I apologize for this somewhat abrupt end to the story, but sadly I lost interest with this fiction. I did not want the quality to go drastically downhill so I figured ending it would be the best idea. I do apologize to the readers who most likely expected way more than I gave. However, there is a sequel bouncing around in my head so not all is lost! And there are other CSI Miami fanfictions to come.

**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-six: Heat it Up**

Things took an unprecedented turn, everything happening quicker then Horatio could believe. He knew as he flew down the street with sirens blaring that he promised to call Speed but he'd left his colleague at Delko's apartment less then half an hour ago. He was not about to place a call to rouse either one of them. It made him feel bad, going back on a promise he made to Speed knowing how fragile Speed was at the moment, but he needed to think of the best options. He didn't want Speed at the crime scene incase things went south. What if his dog wasn't there? He knew how much Speed loved Mite. The poor guy didn't need another blow, not so soon.

The officers keeping tabs on the man Speed had identified called him to alert him to suspicious movement. They'd trailed the guy to a warehouse where they heard a lot of barking. They wanted to make a move, anxiety starting to set in as a small moving truck arrived at the scene. It looked like the criminals knew someone was watching them or at least knowledgeable about their actions. Calls were being placed; moves were going to be made. Horatio wanted to be there when the shit hit the fan. He had to see this through. He was never happy about having murderers in his city, especially when they made it personal like kidnapping Mite and injuring Speed.

He drove like a bat out of hell to get to the warehouse. When he got there he found it swarming with all kinds of emergency vehicles and even a few trucks belonging to animal control. He parked in the first free spot he could find. Then he was bustling his way through the throngs of people with one goal in mind, getting a good look at the dogs. He could deal with the criminals later. He felt that if he failed to get Mite back that it would push Speed over the edge that he'd been teetering precariously on since he arrived back in the state. He couldn't allow that to happen when it looked like things might finally start to workout for Speed and Delko.

When he got into the warehouse the gravity of the situation finally hit him. There cages upon cages of dogs. But that wasn't the only thing that he saw. In smaller cages he saw cats. There were reptiles and birds, larger animals like horses and even a few wild cats that might have been endangered Florida panthers. He could not believe his eyes. How had the criminals been sly enough to capture all of these animals while going mostly unnoticed? It looked as though they were running some sort of smuggling ring. Florida was a gateway to a lot of other countries, an easy way in and out of the country. A lot of money stood to be made in the transportation and selling of endangered animals. And this had all been going under his nose.

He sighed, it was going to be a long few hours as he poured through the cages to find Mite.

----------------------------------------------

Delko sat on the edge of the bed in the darkened bedroom. He finally managed to get Speed to fall asleep, though it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. He'd been lying in bed beside the man he loved in hopes of giving the tortured investigator some comfort but Speed did nothing but toss and turn making it hard for Delko to sleep. He knew that it was hard for Speed, everything had been hard for the man he fell madly in love with. The one thing he couldn't understand was the fact that he got shot in the head and was able to move on with his life while Speed continued to struggle with his past injuries. Perhaps it had something to do with his temporary lose of memory, what the hell did he know? Maybe, just maybe it was the simple fact that he could not remember being shot. He'd seen the look in Speed's eyes, saw the way he froze when having a gun pointed at him; he remembered every moment of that bullet tearing through his chest. That had to be hard to get over.

Someone knocked on the door to his apartment. With a fleeting glance at Speed he grabbed his semiautomatic off the dresser and went to the door. He'd grown leery of late night calls over the years. Especially after that fiasco with the militia targeting the lab. He kept the revolver close to his leg as he looked through the peephole. Surprise shook him as he spotted his boss standing in the hallway. Was Horatio here to give them some bad news? He instantly thought of the dog that he thanked every day for saving Speed's life. Placing the semiautomatic on the nearby table he undid the locks and opened the door.

He didn't even have to ask what brought his boss calling at the late hour. As soon as the door swung open Mite raced into the apartment with his tail wagging making a beeline for the bedroom.

"Talk about luck," Delko said as he watched the dog disappear into the dark room. "This resolved a lot faster than I expected, not that that is a bad thing."

"Speed stumbled across the right guy," Horatio replied. "He may have gone about things the wrong way but he knew what he was doing." Horatio explained the situation to Delko, told him all about the warehouse full of animals, even the few that had passed away in the horrible conditions. There had been a shipping label slapped on Mite's cage that said the dog was going to be sent to Poland. If the dog left the states there would have been no chance of getting him back.

"Finally some good luck."

"How's he doing?"

Delko looked toward the bedroom door again. "Some days I think he's finding his footing while other days…I don't know, it seems like the darkness is trying to swallow him whole. It's going to be a tough battle but if he allows I am going to stand by his side the entire way. I fell in love with him at his best and have continued loving him through his worst moments. He's going to have a hard time getting rid of me."

Horatio smiled. "I know that you will make him happy. The two of you can take the day off tomorrow, just don't get used to it."

"Thank you, H."

"Have a good night, Delko," Horatio said before stepping back and heading down the hallway.

Delko watched him go, then closed the door quietly, slipping the locks back into place. He trudged back toward the bedroom to find Mite curled up on the foot of the bed. Quietly he slid into bed trying his best not to wake-up his sleeping lover. Dreams of the future played out in his mind as he lay there in the dark listening to Mite and Speed breathe. He never wanted this moment to end. Suddenly Speed moved, curling up beside Delko, laying his head on Delko's shoulder. It seemed perfect to him, right in every way. He hoped that it was the beginning of something that would last a long time…

**Fin**


	77. Don't Rock the Boat

**A/N: **_Sorry for making you wait so long! But finally getting around to the next part of the story. Enjoy._

* * *

**PART THREE**

Speed sneezed, something in the air iritatting his sinuses. In an unflattering way he wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt, his hands currently encased in a pair of purple latex gloves. He hated the things. Not so much the color, though he found it mildly annoying—whatever happened to plain old white?—but more the way they made his hands feel. It had to do with the powder inside. He knew it was meant to keep the gloves from sticking to his skin and thus make them easier to remove. Did not mean he liked the lasting feeling. So why the hell was he working a job that required him to even wear the stupid things?

Because he found the work damn interesting.

And he liked putting bad guys away.

When he first took the job he expected it to be all about the science, about figuring out the puzzle in the mess of murder. If anyone had asked him back then how he felt about the possibility of being shot at and nearly dying, he would have laughed. Now he knew better. After so many brushes with death he no longer thought of his job as innocent, safe. Yet he kept working. Someone had to help catch the killers and put them behind bars. He quiet liked the idea of analyzing a tiny little piece of threading only to have it be the beginning of a trail leading back to a corrupt person who ended up in handcuffs.

Most times they ended up behind bars as well; which suited him just fine.

"Storm's rolling in fast," Calleigh's southern accented words dipped into his mind interrupting his thoughts.

Blinking, Speed turned his gaze toward the ever darkening sky. Another infamous Florida storm. What was it he heard one time, that Florida received more lightning strikes than any other state? He often wondered if it was true considering the amount of nasty weather that rolled through the Midwest. Days like today served to remind him of the frequent pop-up storms. At least it wasn't going to be another hurricane. For some reason the massive tropical storms tended to bring out an extra douse of nut jobs.

"Figures," he grumbled, tightening his hold on the expensive camera he held in one hand. A silver case filled with all sorts of equipment sat at his feet.

Calleigh reached out grabbing the rail before she lost her balance. She shot a glance back over her shoulder at him. "Might want to speed this along before we get caught in the full brunt of it."

"Lead on."

He followed her as she made her way along the exterior of the yacht. When the call came across Speed had been more than content to sit in the lab playing catch-up on tests. He should have known Calleigh showing up with a big smile on her face meant something was a foot. Another crime scene in need of processing. Another person lost their life. He tried to get out of it by suggesting she take Ryan. The youngest member of the crew, however, was already on a case. So then he thought she might like to have Horatio join her, he always thought the two of them had a thing together. Apparently Horatio wandered off with Frank. Neither answering their cell phones. Something about police business, she muttered. As if they weren't part of the police force. At last he hinted she could take Delko. Go figure, Delko was working with Ryan.

Which left him.

Speed glanced skyward again, the blue sky quickly being eaten by dark grey clouds. He waited at the top of the stairs while Calleigh navigated her way down. A freakin' yacht. Why did the scene have to be on a yacht? The job would have been more fitting for Delko. The man loved the water, in fact, he turned out to be the department's scuba diver. The one they all turned to when they needed something retrieved from the inky grip of water.

Thinking of Delko he felt a familiar flutter in his stomach. Nearly a year now. A total of 365 days. Who saw it coming? Certainly not him, hell he never expected them to ever be anything more than friends. Their relationship started out a bit rocky, to say the least, what with him almost dying when he took a bullet to the chest—Delko liked to tell him the scar was sexy while he thought otherwise—and then the whole incident that took place after he returned to work. How he managed to get through it all without losing his mind always surprised and amazed him. Eventually, though, as all things must it got better and everything clicked. He wound up moving in with Delko.

Er, well, they moved to a new apartment since neither of their places were big enough for two.

Three, he corrected himself. They were three.

"Are you coming down?" Calleigh called up.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, a violet-pink bolt of lightning streaking across the sky. For some reason it made him shiver. All of a sudden he felt like he should get off the yacht, hightail it back to the grey Hummer waiting in the parking lot. Safety, something about the vehicle and dryland made him think of safety. Like he had never been a boat in the middle of a storm. It came with the job. Sighing, he took the first step down as the water started to rock the boat with greater waves. At one point he was knocked slightly off balance falling against the wall, hitting his shoulder and almost dropping the camera. He cursed under his breath. And like a goddess of pearly white teeth, blond hair and sparkling eyes Calleigh came into view, taking his crime kit. Safely he made it into the belly of the yacht.

His first thought, why couldn't the body have been on the upper level?

His second thought had more to do with the cost of the extravagant boat.

As he learned over the years money did not guarantee safety from the horrible realities of life. Yeah, it might allow someone to buy security gadgets and even armed bodyguards. But if someone wanted a person dead bad enough there were ways of getting around just about every protective measure possible. People murdered people half way 'round the world thanks to the internet and killers for hire. Even mobsters managed to knock off people while behind bars, whether they were the ones doing time or it was a prisoner they wanted whacked.

"What a mess," Calleigh muttered, eyeing the disheveled bed.

Speed half expected to see the body sprawled across the rumbled sheets. Definitely a sign of…a little recreational activity. "Uh, you can take the bed."

"Ah, aren't you sweet," she drawled, walking to the bed's side to set down his kit.

"Where is the dead person?"

Calleigh blushed the slightest bit. He only managed to notice it because it so rarely happened. She shrugged. "I haven't been able to locate it. I'm sure it must be around here somewhere."

"I sure as hell hope so," he said. Smears and droplets of crimson marred the once highly polished wood and carpet. Judging by the amount of the red stuff, and his years of experience on the job, he would bet his last dollar on finidng the body aboard the yacht. There was no way in hell any who lost that much blood could be out walking around. Unless of course….the idea sent a shiver down his spine.

Calleigh must have seen it because she giggled. "Delko watching those zombie movies again?"

"What do you mean again? When does he stop?" he walked around the room noting the details. Like the expensive looking pen on top of the dresser right beside a watch with what might have been diamonds or simple fakes. "I will never understand why a man who works with the murdered wants to sit down and watch the living dead."

"We all get our kicks somewhere, Motorcycle-boy," remarked Calleigh. She disappeared through a doorway.

Outside the world grew yet darker plunging the interior of the boat into an inky gray. The lights onboard seemed dim making Speed wondering if something might have been done to the boat. He knew so little about them. Did they work the same way as cars? Would the lights being left on drain the battery? Maybe he should ask Delko. He jumped about six feet in the air when a loud rumble of thunder made it sound like an explosion right over his shoulder. His teeth rattled. Calleigh squealed from the other room caught just as off-guard as him. Any laughter at her reaction was smothered as the boat lurched to the side. A small blessing he opted to avoid eating lunch for he was pretty sure at this rate it would have revisited him and that would mess up the whole scene.

He began to pull open the drawers of the dresser. Another crack of thunder. The sound of Calleigh speaking in the other room barely reached his ears. He turned to ask her what she said only to find her walking through the doorway with a phone in hand. Judging by the expression on her face she was having a hard time hearing, no doubt the storm messing with cell service. He went back to rooting through the dresser drawers. All filled with clothing fitting to a female. Eyes darted back to the watch. Definitely male. Theories were starting to take shape.

"Pack up your gear," instructed Calleigh.

"What, why?"

"H wants us off the boat. Something about the storm."

As the craft rocked the storm outside drew ever nearer. "Isn't he worried about evidence? Things are going to get knocked about, mixed together. We won't be able to tell what's from the storm and what was caused by the murder. And what about the body, we still haven't located it."

Calleigh gave his concern considerable thought, chewing her bottom lip. "Okay, let's do it like this," she checked her watch. "Ten minutes. Get as many pictures as you can while I search for our missing corpse. Sound good?"

"Make it fifteen and you've got a deal," he said. Even as the words left his mouth he knew it to be the wrong thing to say. Unsure why, though he felt the overwhelming sense of dread a second time. Calleigh gave him thumbs up, then darted out of sight. Tentatively he reached for his gun. Found it safely on his hip. A small comfort to have it near.

Thinking it might be best to get off the boat as soon as possible he began to snap as many pictures of the boat's interior as he could, making sure each photo overlapped the last so as not to miss anything. He worked his way through the rooms of the cabin, noticing the large mess, wondering how much of it had to do with the actual crime or the fact the boat was being rocked more and more violently. After a few minutes Calleigh stepped into the room carrying both their cases.

She shook her head before he could even ask. "No sight of the body. I'm not sure it's onboard."

"Why would it be?" he mused as he took his last photo. "You commit a crime on the ocean, dump the body in the water, make it harder to prove anything happened." A loud crack of thunder made it sound as though something fell on the boat prompting both of them to look-up. "And with this storm it might take us a while to get into the water. The current could drag the body out by then."

"Well shoot," Calleigh grumbled. She hefted their cases. "Might as well get going."

Together they trooped up the steps, both of them feeling as though they would lose their balance at any moment. The storm had yet to reach them, perhaps only minutes away, but already it proved to be violent. Calleigh stepped out on deck first, the wind almost enough to force her back into the cabin. She trudged ahead finding it hard to keep her balance. Oddly enough carrying both crime kits seemed to help her out a bit. As Speed tried to walk along the side of the cabin toward the dock the boat pitched violently, heaved by a big wave. He was tossed against the side of the cabin knocking the side of his head on the wall. Almost instantly there was a ringing in his ears.

Speed shook his head to clear it. The boat rocked again sending him tumbling in the other direction. He slammed into the railing, hands wrapping around it. The camera fell from his grasp. He heard a cracking sound but before he could react the railing at his back gave 'way. Speed felt himself falling. His arms tried desperately to find something onto which he could grab.

But they found nothing.**  
**


	78. Monsoon

**A/N: **_Sorry for making you wait so long! But finally getting around to the next part of the story. Enjoy._

* * *

Horatio pulled into the parking lot at the marina, his mind a flurry of activity. The day had started out nice and sunny, much like most days in Miami. It went south very quickly as a storm promising to pack a powerful punch came sweeping in off the shore. He had been watching it for the last half hour listening to the weather reports as it drew closer and closer to shore. Mainly because he worried about the aftermath. Things were going to be messy. It would no doubt make it harder on his people when they had to deal with traffic accidents and whatever else popped up when the storm finished walloping the major city.

Out with Frank he gave little thought to what his team members were doing knowing them to be fully capable of getting their jobs done. Then Delko rang him with concerns about Speed and Calleigh. They were down at the marina investigating a murder on a boat. Horatio barely heard the end of the conversations as he excused himself and hopped in the Hummer. He raced toward the marina watching the sky get darker and darker with each passing second. The vivid lightning streaked across the clouds in great contrast. The rumbles of thunder were akin to small bombs going off. It seemed to be taking forever to come in, but he knew once it hit the storm would blow over in a matter of minutes. It seemed to happen all the time.

At one point he called Calleigh warning her to get off the yacht, not in the least worried about the crime scene and what might befall it on a storm ravaged boat. Some things were more important to him. He waited for her to call him back with the all clear, to let him know she was fine and heading back to the lab with Speed at her side. But the call never came and as he pulled into the marina he spotted their Hummer still in the lot. The mere sight of the company vehicle brought with it a jolt of unease.

He practically jumped out of the vehicle and headed toward the dock. At least he managed to get the name of the yacht out of Calleigh and a rough estimate of its location. As he raced down the docks he spotted his southern friend with her blond hair pulled back in a pony tail. She was on the deck, crime kits in her hands, trying for all her worth to keep her balance. Horatio spotted Speed a few feet behind her having a bit more trouble. His steps came faster as he watched a violent wave rock the boat sending Speed crashing into the cabin wall and then careening toward the railing.

"Calleigh," Horatio yelled out hoping to get her attention. The increasing speed of the wind must have drowned out his voice. Why did it seem to be taking him forever to reach the damned yacht? It was like being in one of those stupid cartoon clips where the hall appears never ending when it's actually of normal length. He felt he would never make it to them in time.

The waves rocked the yacht again. Calleigh managed to stumble onto the dock, slipping on the wood. She went down on one knee, both kits hitting the wood. At preciscly the same time the railing behind Speed gave under his weight. Horatio felt his heart leap into his throat as he watched the young man fall from the yacht crashing into the wild waters.

"Speed!"

Somehow he found an extra burst of speed racing toward the dock. By now Calleigh had seen him and realized from his panicked body language that something was amiss. She turned to look back at the yacht no doubt searching for Speed. She looked frantically for her friend without much luck. Horatio raced by the kits, managing to undo his tie. He threw off his suit jacket discarding the tie as well. Fat droplets of rain began to fall from the sky. A streak of lightning hit nearby with a loud crack. The storm sounded angry.

"Where's Tim?" Calleigh called as she raced up behind him.

Horatio was standing on the edge of the dock trying to figure out where Speed had gone in. "He fell. Call for an ambulance."

"Oh my god," he heard Calleigh utter as he dove into the water.

It wrapped icy fingers around him. he could feel the tug of the current, the churning of the storm. The water hurt his eyes but he had to find Speed. His heart beat loudly in his ears, his thoughts frantic. He recalled every little thing that happened over the last year or so. All the terrible things that seemed to befall Speed. From the shooting in the jewelry store that nearly killed him to the events that finally threw him into the arms of Delko. The two of them had been so happy over the last few months. Horatio felt great pride when he saw the two of them together, to see their love blossoming further with each and every day. He felt for sure theirs was going to be a relationship that lasted.

Not that there weren't problems. According to Delko there were a lot of nights when Speed had trouble sleeping, the nightmares keeping him awake. They had the occasional fight, what couple didn't? At least they managed to work through them time and time again. And Speed was making progress. He was returning to his former self. Making bets with Delko while at work, even going so far as to include Ryan. For the last four months it felt like their family, their crime solving family, had finally gotten the chance to be happy.

He should have known something terrible was brewing on the horizon.

Theirs was not a job that allowed for many days of peace.

As he fought the waters now in search of Speed he tried to keep at bay the one thought he refused to entertain. Having to call Delko to tell him the man he loved had drowned. It brought him right back to the shooting in the jewelry store. He held Speed in that moment, remembered what it felt like to have Speed clutching at him out of panic, to have the warmth of his friend's blood on his hands. He had thought he'd lost Speed then, feared how he was going to tell the others, but somehow Speed made it through. A fighting spirit. He had a fighting spirit.

So Horatio was hopeful of finding Speed.

His chest began to burn, his body aching for him to take a breath. In a matter of minutes he was going to have to swim back to the surface. Precious moments would be lost. He pressed on keeping close to the dock and the yacht allowing the water to tug and pull, hopefully sending him in the right direction. Suddenly his eyes caught on the movement of a shadow, something vaguely human shaped. He swam toward it. A body. A dead body. With relief he realized it wasn't Speed, but where was his friend? A man he often thought of as a son?

The need to breathe became stronger, his chest hurting. His vision blurred momentarily. Something grabbed him around the ankle. Seaweed was his first thought. He tried to bring his leg up finding it hard. Bending Horatio meant to free his ankle then swim to the surface for some air before diving back under, but when he reached for the supposed seaweed he felt fingers. A hand. Someone clinging to his ankle. He grasped the wrist attached to the hand and tugged swimming up with a flash of lightning to guide the way. It may have been Speed, it may not, either way he needed to get some oxygen into his lungs.

When he broke through the surface he gasped, drawing oxygen into his lungs. Calleigh was on her hands and knees on the dock obviously searching the water for her friends. The storm had let loose, torrents of rain washing down to soak her almost as though she'd fallen into the ocean with them. With a measure of relief, though short lived, Horatio saw that he was indeed holding onto Speed. There was a small cut on the side of Speed's head. His eyes were closed.

The camera had been lost, but what did that matter? It was trivial.

"Help me get him up," Horatio said as he tread water near the dock.

Calleigh looked around for a way to help heave Speed onto the relative safety of the wooden dock when a man in his fifties suddenly appeared at her side. He wore a hat, somehow the wind had yet to take it, and looked like a good ole grizzled sailor. He yelled something at Calleigh that failed to reach Horatio's ears in the rage of the storm. Then they were both leaning over to grasp Speed in order to haul him free. As soon as Speed was on the dock they turned to help Horatio. It was wonderful to feel the wet wood under his hands, to see his jacket and tie lying a few feet away. Why had he bothered to take them off before diving in? It was not like they had been spared the damage of water.

The grizzled sailor was trying to say something to him, but Horatio couldn't focus. His eyes were on Calleigh who leaned over Speed. She was administering CPR, the expression on her face frantic, her blond hair plastered along the side of her face, her neck. The sight of Speed once again in the clutches of death made Horatio feel sick. He spotted the paramedics racing in their direction doing their best to be careful in the rain. It wouldn't help in the least to have one of them slip into the water. Calleigh continued her efforts.

Horatio leaned over the side of the dock and empty his stomach of all content.


	79. Wires

**A/N: **_Sorry for making you wait so long! But finally getting around to the next part of the story. Enjoy._

* * *

Delko ran through the hospital though he knew by all rights he should have taken it slow. But his heart threatened to beat a hole in his chest, break free of his ribcage, if he delayed his arrival any longer. When he got the call from Calleigh, saw her number flashing on his cell phone, he figured it had something to do with the case. She had taken it upon herself to call him every once in a while when she worked a scene with Speed to let him know how his lover was handling the situation.

They all worried about Speed.

Perhaps him more than the others, for certain reasons, of course.

Even now, months after the last incident, the last time he got hurt, Speed was still being directed to have meetings with the department psychologist. They could be stopped at any moment, all Horatio had to do was sign off. But their boss was weary, afraid something might get missed, and wanted to cover all his bases. Could any of them blame him? Speed dealt with some crazy months, nearly dying and battling with his own misgivings.

Delko stood outside the elevators bouncing from one foot to the other with pent up energy. With Speed, his beloved Timmy, he had to take things one day at a time. He learned that shortly after they moved in together. There were days, the good days as he liked to think of them, when Speed was like his old self. Always ready to do his job, eager to hang out with his friends. And then there were the off days when he got all quiet, sullen, spent most of his time with his dog Mite. Yet still each month Speed experience what Delko could only think of as the dark days. Those days when Speed was better off left alone but under constant watch.

Dark days. Delko hated the dark days.

At least by now he figured out a pattern, understood when one of those days was going to rear its ugly head. All he had to do was wait for the nightmares, the terrors that roused Speed from his sleep and sent him into a full fledged panic attack. Perhaps loving Speed, finally having the relationship he always wanted with his friend, was not exactly what he expected, but in the end he would change nothing. Speed was his after all these years. They were finally a couple. They did all the things most couples did like going out on the town together. On the good days they often stopped at a few clubs with Ryan and Calleigh just to dance and let loose, to forget about the horrors of their job.

As he stepped onto the elevator he smiled sadly, his hand trembling as he pushed the button. A doctor and nurse talked in hushed tones off to his right. Meanwhile all he could think about was the past weekend. It had been so wonderful, the perfect two days any person could ask for or even want. They spent Saturday down at the beach with Mite playing games and strolling along the fringes of the water. Dinner was cooked on an open fire with the whole gang present. Between him and Speed they managed to get hold of Calleigh, dragging her against her will into the cold waters of the ocean. The following Sunday turned into a lazy at home kind of day. The two of them spent hours in the morning reading the newspaper and doing the crossword together.

Sometimes they were like an old married couple.

Married.

The word stuck out in stark contrast in his mind. for the last month he had been hemming and hawing, privately, about whether or not they were ready to take the next step. It may not have been legal in the state of Florida for him to marry Speed or even to enter into a civil union, but they could take a trip up north. He had been formulating the perfect plan. With the recent news coming out of New York he thought it would make a perfect trip, visit Speed's parents, get hitched. What more could he ask for? Except he kept getting cold feet. Something kept making him wait. Deep down inside he knew it was fear. The fear of being rejected. The fear of Speed shaking his head and turning down the proposal.

Maybe he should talk with Horatio. The man knew everything. He was the perfect source of advice.

If it wasn't too late.

The butterflies flittered nervously in his stomach as he got off the elevator. The hospital buzzed around him but none of it mattered. The call had set him on a designated path. When Calleigh told him about Speed falling overboard, about him hitting his head before crashing into the water, he felt his heart skip a beat. In a flash he mentally prepared himself for the worst news possible, that the storm had prevented them from rescuing Speed, that he was lost to the ocean forever. So he barely heard it when she told him to get down to the hospital.

Maybe he would still have a chance, he hoped as he embarked down the hall toward Horatio, who he could see in the distance. Perhaps he might still be able to buy a ring and ask the ever important question. But first he needed to make sure Speed was okay because the thought of his lover being gone when things were finally working out…It would be like a cruel joke from Fate.

The first thing he noticed was that Horatio was wearing a different suit, his hair a bit messed up. It didn't take him long to figure out it had been their boss who jumped in to pull Speed to safety. Always waiting in the wings, always arriving in the nick of time to keep them safe. What would they do if they ever lost him? It was a thought he decided was not worth entertaining. Before he got a chance to say anything Calleigh suddenly appeared. Her hair, usually up in a ponytail; hang loose around her shoulders, still drying from the rainstorm.

She spotted him and raced over, throwing her arms around him in a comforting hug. He returned the embrace finding he needed it just as much as she did. His mind was bombarded with questions. He wanted to ask all of them at once and none of them. Dread circled around him as he feared she might pass to him bad news. News he never wanted to hear, but feared might come to his doorstep some day in the future.

"It was awful," she said, her voice filled with worry and fear and…something he could not quite put his finger on. "I was scared they were both lost."

He ran a hand up and down her back in a soothing manner somehow managing to keep his own fear at bay. "And yet here we are."

Calleigh looked up at him, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, Delko, so sorry."

"For?"

"Everything. This shouldn't have happened."

He frowned. Was Calleigh, always practical southern girl Calleigh, actually blaming herself for what happened? The accident must have affected her more than he originally thought. "Did you murder the person on the boat, Cal? Did you cause the storm?" She stared at him. "Didn't think so. What happened happened, horrible or not, it's the way of life."

"How can you be so…calm?"

"He's not," Horatio said as he joined them. "Calleigh, hun, why don't you see about getting us some coffee?"

She blinked. Then slowly nodded her head. "Yes, of course."

Delko watched her go wondering if she would be okay on her own. She must have still been suffering some of the symptoms of shock; which of course only made him feel worse. Calleigh could usually be counted on to be the cheerleader when the team needed it most. Her always chipper attitude and bright smile lifting their spirits on even the darkest of days. Without her Delko probably wouldn't have made it this far with Speed. Despite her own troubled love life she did everything she could for her friends. One of the reasons he decided Horatio had fallen for her. Too bad their boss seemed reluctant to do anything about those feelings.

"Come on," Horatio said placing a hand on Delko's shoulder. He directed him away from the crowd of nurses and doctors and patients to a more secluded area. Did Horatio not want him breaking down in front of everyone? He waited with baited breath as his boss turned those blue eyes in his direction. For a moment he said nothing. "Relax," he ordered. "Breathe, Eric. Speed is fine. Calleigh's quick thinking got him breathing again as well as helped to get some of the water out of his lungs. He will be staying over night for observation, of course, but the doctors think he'll be fine."

"Think he'll be fine?" Delko echoed the words. For some reason they stuck out in stark contrast to all the rest.

Horatio stood with his hands on his hips. "He hit his head, Eric."

"How…how hard?" he practically whispered.

"Enough to cause a thin crack in his skull." Horatio was quick to keep talking when he saw the panic on Delko's face. "Now, now, it's nothing too major. The skull is not fractured, per say. Imagine it like a crack in the shell of an egg. It's minor. Not even the length of my pinkie finger, okay? They have already checked him. There are no signs of the brain swelling. No outward signs of damage."

Delko sank into a nearby chair. "Can…I want…"

"He's still out of it," Horatio explained sitting down beside him.

Shaking his head Delko stood. "I don't care, I want to see him."

* * *

He stood in the hospital room listening to the whir and buzz and beep of machines. How many times had he found himself standing in such a similar setting? Why did it seem that trouble followed Speed like a determined dog? He never used to mind visiting the hospital. But now, the place gave him the creeps. With each visit he grew to hate it more and more because he understood that one of these times the news was not going to be favorable.

Swallowing down his fear he walked toward the bed. Speed always looked so weak when tethered to all the machines and tucked underneath the blanket. His damp black hair made him look even paler than normal. There was a white bandage wrapped around part of his head no doubt put in place to help keep clean the stitches used to close the wound.

Delko reached out, taking Speed's hand in his own. He thought back to the conversation they had that morning. Er, well, the argument. Disagreement. He liked the sound of disagreement better, made it sound less harsh. The whole thing was stupid he saw that now.

"I'm sorry, Timmy," he said quietly. The storm having passed, sunlight filtered in through the blinds covering the window. "I am so sorry. It was petty, dumb, not even worth mentioning." He gave Speed's hand an affectionate squeeze. Suddenly he was speaking words he hadn't planned. "When you open your eyes there's something I want to ask you. Something that has been bugging me these last few weeks. You hear that? It means I am not going anywhere until you wake up. And you might want to do it soon because Mite's going to miss you."

He lightly ghosted his fingers over the bandage.

"They say you'll be fine," he said. "But I have this feeling…I just…please, wake up, Tim."


End file.
